Letting Down the Walls
by Edward's My Obsession 1971
Summary: Bella suffers from anxiety and self-esteem issues due to cruelty she's endured from her chronic psoriasis. With her mom, Renee, newly wed, Bella decides to transfer from college in Phoenix to college in Seattle to be closer to her dad, Charlie. Edward has sworn off women, and is in Med School to follow in his dad's footsteps and become a dermatologist. What happens when E & B meet?
1. Chapter 1

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just love to borrow them for my own personal pleasure. **

_**BPOV**_

It was Tennyson that said "_it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all_". What a moron. Just look at me. Ugh. I have psoriasis on the majority of my body. For those who aren't familiar with the disease, psoriasis is an auto-immune condition that causes thick, scaly, reddened patches of skin. It's itchy, painful and downright embarrassing. I'm lucky right now it is controlled somewhat by my meds but that is no guarantee that it will stay in remission. I have been dealing with this crap since I was fourteen. So yeah, I've had no boyfriends, no pool parties, no prom and no cool, cute clothes in as many years. It really sucks to wear long sleeves and long pants year round but I hate the stares and the rude comments about the way I look so I do it, making the move to UDub welcome. At least it's cold and rainy so I'll blend with my attire. Not so much in Phoenix where it reaches triple digits in the summer. I WILL NOT miss the heat in my long-sleeves and long pants. I also want my Mom and Phil, her new husband, to have the newlywed home life. They've been married since the spring and haven't had much time alone with a twenty-one year old recluse living with them.

"Bella, sweetie? Are you ready to go? We don't want you to miss your flight and you know how crazy the interstate around Sky Harbor gets during rush hour," Renee frantically yelled down the hallway. "It's almost noon and your flight leaves at 2 pm."

"Yes, Mom, all I have to do is take my Enbrel injection and I'm all set to go to the airport. Give me just a few more minutes. Phil has everything loaded in the car. Okay?" Bella replied as she headed down the hall to the kitchen.

Renee left me alone after she told me she was heading out to the car to wait. I sat down at the kitchen table and lifted the bottom of my long sleeved tee shirt up over my abdomen and grabbed the alcohol prep pad I had set out along with a prefilled syringe of meds I take once a week. I swabbed an area on my stomach pinched the skin in between my fingers. I proceeded take a deep breath in and to give myself my injection. Afterward, I cleaned off the injection site. Luckily no bleeding this time. After I cleaned up the area and disposed of the syringe in the sharps container I took one last sweep through the house, grabbed my messenger bag with my iPod and iPad inside and headed out into the Arizona heat.

"Are you ready, baby girl?" Renee asked as I got into the back seat of the car.

"Ready as I'm going to be, Mom. Let's go," I said as I put my ear buds in to listen to some classic rock on the way to the airport.

"Ok, Bella. It's noon now and we should be at the airport by 12:30, plenty of time to get checked in and through security checks," Phil said as he backed out of the drive and drove out into the main street headed for Sky Harbor International Airport.

I was flying into Seattle and my dad, Charlie, was going to meet me there. He's the Chief of Police in a rainy, small town a few hours away from Seattle called Forks. Yes, like the cutlery. The population in Forks is smaller than the population of my high school in Phoenix. Not much action, but Charlie was born and raised there. He and Mom met when she moved there her senior year from Arizona. It was love at first sight, or so they thought. They dated all that year and he proposed to her at their senior prom. Obviously she said yes and they were married six weeks later at the young ages of eighteen.

I came along about a year later and things were good for a few years but Renee felt tied down and secluded in Forks. Charlie wouldn't leave Forks and since Mom wanted out, the marriage crumbled. I don't remember much about it all since I was only four when Renee scooped me up one day and moved us to Phoenix to start over.

I was a happy and bubbly child so I have been told. My relationship with Charlie was strained due to the distance we lived apart and he was not a man of many words over the telephone. I visited my dad for two weeks every summer until I became a teenager and the psoriasis started. That is when my world crashed and I closed myself off from my family and friends, and immersed myself in reading and my school work. I graduated top of my class in high school but I refused to be valedictorian because there was no way I could get in front of all those people and make a speech. I was way too self-conscious. I was still awarded a two year scholarship to the University of Arizona, which made my parents so very proud and they encouraged me to join a sorority or clubs so I would make friends but that wasn't happening. No way. So, I did like high school and focused on my studies, deciding to major in literature as I wanted to be a writer someday. Lucky for me, UDub has one of the best curriculums in the nation. I will be rooming in Pattinson Hall with two other girls. This makes me a nervous wreck but I don't have the extra money to live off campus.

"We're here, Bell," Phil announced as he pulled into day parking and turned off the car.

We all got out and I threw my messenger bag over my shoulder, grabbed my rolling suitcase and my carry on and headed to the ticket booth. When we arrived, I checked my luggage, got my ticket and waited.

"I cannot believe my baby is going away. I am going to miss you so much," Renee cried as she sat across from me wringing her hands, Phil by her side rubbing her back to try and console her.

"Mom, I'm twenty-one years old. A lot of people go away to college at eighteen, so I'm going to be fine. Please, don't worry!" I exclaimed.

Mom had a flair for the dramatics and I knew I needed to nip this quickly.

"We've been through this many times, Mom. I need to do this. You two need the time alone and I need to spread my wings. I'll call and email as often as I can. Ok?"

"I know, Bella, but you are going to meet a new doctor and I won't be there for you," Renee said.

"Dr. Gerandy has sent a referral to one of the dermatologists in Seattle. I should be getting a call the first of the week with an appointment to go in and meet the doctor. I just took my injection before we left home so I'm good for a week or so anyhow. And I have a full script of anxiety meds so please stop stressing! You know stress causes me to flare up," I tried to reason.

"I know, baby. I know. You're an adult and wise beyond your years at that. I just worry. That's what mothers do. You'll know someday," Mom said as she reached over and grabbed my hand.

"Yeah, sure, Mom. Guys are falling all over themselves to date me," I grumbled as I rolled my eyes at her.

'_Flight 274 to Seattle is now boarding at Gate 15' _was announced over the loudspeaker.

"That's me. I need to go. I will call you when I get settled."

After what seemed to be a ten minute hug with me dragging Renee along beside me, I made it to the security check. Renee kissed my cheek.

"Be safe, baby!" she exclaimed as Phil said goodbye to me one last time and he started walking away with Renee in tow.

I waved, trying to stop her rant before she drew more attention to us.

"I love you, sweetie!" Renee yelled out one last time as I cleared the security check.

I waved once more and turned to head to the plane to start my new life in Seattle. I just hope I can handle it.

**This is my first FF story and this idea has been bouncing around in my head for a while. I have severe psoriasis so this story is personal to me. My hubby of 23 years is my rock and has encouraged me to write this story as kind of therapy for myself. I don't know how long this story is going to be yet. I like to talk so I anticipate this to be fairly long. Please review. Good or bad. I plan to update weekly but it may be more often since this story needs to get out of my brain! Thank you SO MUCH for the encouragement from drotuno, darcysmom, twimom817, kare831 and Tkegl. If I am HALF as good as they are at this adventure I will feel like I have really done well. You can also find me on Twitter as lakermom37. **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Letting Down the Walls

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just love to borrow them for my own personal pleasure. **

_**BPOV**_

The flight to Seattle was fairly uneventful, other than my constant state of being uncomfortable in my own skin and being mentally anxious being in such close proximity to all the people on the plane. The idea of seeing Charlie gave me some peace though. This would be the first time since my high school graduation two years prior that I'd seen Charlie in person. I tried to get him "wired" last winter with email and Facebook but he just grumbled and said that he didn't trust those new-fangled ways of communication so we stuck to weekly phone calls. He did finally relent and buy a cell phone last year and put me on his plan a few weeks ago so I'd be able to call him anytime. We're still working on the texting part.

My plane landed at Sea-Tac and I left the plane and wandered into the terminal. As I made my way to baggage claim to wait for my bags to make their way around to me I saw several couples embraced and teary over being reunited. As I am a sucker for a true "happily ever after" love story, I could only imagine some were husband's home from a long business trip or girlfriend's flying in to visit their boyfriends in college. I sighed. I was happy for the people I saw but I was also a little bitter that I'd never have that kind of love story. As hard as I tried I couldn't stop the lone tear that rolled down my cheek.

"Bells?" I heard from behind me. I turned around and tried to wipe the sadness off my face as I saw Charlie standing awkwardly by the public phone a few yards away.

"Dad," I said softly as I broke into a small smile. Charlie ambled over to me and gave me a one-armed man-hug. I hugged him back and turned to the conveyor belt to retrieve my luggage once they came by.

"You look good, Bells. Hope your flight was ok," Charlie stated as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"It was fine, Dad. I'm just ready to get my stuff and get settled in. Since its Saturday I only have tomorrow and Monday to get my schedule, room assignments, books and get settled in before classes start Tuesday," I told Charlie, hoping he wouldn't think I was trying to blow him off, but knowing Dad he'd be glad for not needing to entertain me all weekend. There were fish to catch and ballgames to watch after all …Charlie loved his fishing and anything on ESPN.

"Sounds good. We'll just get your bags, grab a bite to eat, if you want and head on over to the campus. I know how organized you are, so the sooner you get set up the easier it will be. Come on, let's head out," Charlie said as he grabbed my two bags from the carousel when they finally made their way around.

"Thanks, Dad. I appreciate all you're doing to help me out. I will feel better once I get to Pattinson Hall and get settled," I said as we walked out into the cool, damp Seattle weather.

"Um, I hope you brought warm clothes, kid. This ain't warm and sunny Phoenix," Charlie chuckled as we loaded the trunk of the squad car. Great, I thought. The cop car isn't going to make blending in very easy today.

"Yeah, Dad, I think I have that covered with my year-round long sleeved attire." I told him, as I tried to make it sound like a joke on my part.

"Oh well, uh…yeah. Well, let's get you over to the college before it starts raining again. Don't want ya to catch a cold," Charlie stammered.

"Ok, Dad. Let's roll." I told him as I climbed into the squad car.

About thirty minutes later we pulled in to the parking lot to the Admissions Building at the University. There were people everywhere, scurrying around trying to figure out where they needed to be and most close by were staring at the 'girl in the cop car' as they walked by. I took a deep breath and decided it was now or never.

"Well, Bella. I'll just wait here and let you go get things sorted. "Charlie said as he surveyed the scene in front of him.

"Ok. Maybe this won't take long," I said as I steeled my nerves to go into the fray.

I got out of the car and straightened out my clothes, making sure all my skin was covered and strolled into the Admissions office, hoping to avoid all eye contact. There were tables set up across the commons area, divided by alphabet so I found the "S" station and headed over. Luckily there was no waiting.

"Hi! Welcome to UDub! My name is Angela Webber and I am a junior communications major here. What can I help you with?" said the pretty girl with chic glasses and long black hair.

"Uh, my name is Bella Swan. Well, Isabella Swan. Sorry. I prefer Bella but my paperwork is under Isabella. I am a junior transfer from Arizona," I stammered out, internally cringing at my actions.

"Ok, that's cool. I prefer Ang but I HATE to be called Angie, so I understand. Wow. Arizona? Bet you hate this cool weather!" Angela said as she sorted through the files to find my packet.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. I don't really do much outdoorsy stuff so I should be fine here. I got an email earlier this week and I know I am rooming in Pattinson Hall in a triple suite but that's really all I know, sorry," I rambled on as I wondered where in the hell my verbal vomit was coming from.

"Yep! Here you are, Isabella Swan. Everything you need is located in this packet. Schedule, room assignments, book lists and a map of the campus. I room in Pattison too on the first floor. This is my room number and cell number. Call me or come by if you need anything. I'd be glad to help," Angela gushed on as I took the file from her.

"Oh, thanks, Angela. I appreciate it," I said as I gathered my file knowing that I wouldn't be asking anyone for help unless I really needed it.

I put it all in my messenger bag and started for the door.

"No prob! And again, welcome!" I heard Angela shout as I headed back out to Charlie.

Charlie got out of the car and was headed to the trunk as I walked toward him.

"Did you get what you needed?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, I did. You don't have to help me take my bags up. There are only two and my carry on. It won't be a problem to carry," I told Charlie, not wanting to draw any more attention to myself being escorted on foot by a uniformed police officer, even if it was just my dad.

"Well, if you're okay with that I'll just set your stuff out here and watch you in. Sorry we didn't grab dinner, kid, but I guess I need to head back to Forks and check in," Charlie said.

"That is what the cell phone is for, dad," I chuckled. "But I understand and I'll call you soon."

"Call me if you need anything, Bells. I put $500 in your checking account this morning to help out with your expenses and I'll put more in when you need it. Just let me know," Charlie said sheepishly.

I guess I get my personality from Charlie since I am sure not hyper and flighty like Renee.

"Dad, you didn't need to do that. I have some grant money for books and stuff. I don't do anything extra so I don't need that money," I pleaded with him.

I don't like taking gifts from anyone. Call me weird but I have been that way since I was young. Charlie didn't make that much money and I didn't want to put him in a bind. He'd always paid his child support on-time, per Mom, but I was twenty-one now.

"I only have one child, Bells. Don't worry."

And with that Charlie gave me a stiff hug and said his goodbye. I said my goodbye back, kissed his cheek and I then grabbed my bags and headed across the concourse to the dorms.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Pattinson Hall was a six-story coed dorm located near the campus library. Perfect! Well, the library part was perfect. The coed thing made my heart race. The floors were coded with girls on odd floors and guys on the even floors, although we still shared common areas and the laundry room. I was not comfortable with people since I was not social at all but I really was not good with the opposite sex. Not that I had much experience but still. What guy wants to hang out with the flaky girl? None I had ever met.

I looked in my file and saw I was in room 312 so I headed to the elevator and pushed the button for the third floor. After a short time the elevator deposited me on the third floor and there were girls everywhere. I meandered through the masses and found my room assignment. I got my key card out of my file and reached for the door as it swung open wide. I was met with a bright, smiling face with big blue eyes and a head full of spiky black hair.

"HI! I'm Alice! We are going to be roommates and the best of friends! I can see it! What's your name? Where are you from? What's your major? Oh, do you like to shop? I hope so because we need an outfit for the Back to School party next weekend! Do you have a boyfriend? Mine's named Jasper, well Jazz for short and you will meet him later. He lives on the sixth floor," Alice rambled on and on so fast I could barely keep up. My mouth gaped open and shut like a fish out of water, and Alice took a deep breath.

"Oh,I love your hair! I'm a fashion design major and I'm starting my junior year. I'm from the outskirts of Seattle but my parents thought my brother's and I needed to learn to live independently so this is my first year in the dorms. Oh and you will meet my brothers later too. Well one anyhow. Emmet is here at UDub and he rooms with Jazz and his girlfriend, Rosalie will be rooming with us but she won't be here till tomorrow. My other brother lives off campus and his name is…" Alice chattered until I waved my hand for her to give me a chance to reply.

"Uh, wow," I cut her off before she passed out from not breathing. "I'm Isabella Swan from Arizona but just call me Bella. It's nice to meet you, Alice. Uh, no boyfriend here, and I'm a literary major."

Sweet Jesus, I've been placed with the Energizer Bunny on crack.

"I am sorry to be such a spaz but this is so exciting, don't you think?" Alice said as she grabbed my arm and spun me around in a full circle and shrieked. "I know you, Rose and I will have so much fun together! Which bed do you want?"

Random much? Hello?

_Oh shut up Bella, be nice. She is just trying to be nice to you. Take a deep breath. It's not like you have any other friends that'll be jealous of the new one. Chill out and play nice. Where is my Xanax? I may need one ASAP._

Now I'm having an inner monologue. I've officially lost it.

"I'll just set my stuff here and take this bed if that's ok," I asked, hoping to get the short version of yes or no.

"That's cool, Bella. We each have matching beds, tables, closets and a small window so one is as good as the other. We can go shopping and decorate in coordinating styles but still maintain our individual artistic expression which is very important!" Alice said as she bounced from foot to foot.

"Uh, yeah, that'll be ok, but I'm not really into shopping or decoration. I brought some sheets from home. I'll just need a desk lamp, a comforter and some towels. I can order them online…" I started.

"No way, Bella. We need to SEE what we all want and coordinate. Just hang with me and I will show you the ropes, sweetie," Alice said as she winked. "I'm going to run up to see what Jazz is doing. Want to come with me?"

"Oh, well, if it's okay this time I think I just want to unpack, shower and take a nap. It's been a long day with my flight and all. You go ahead and do whatever it is you want. Don't worry about me," I said trying not to sound too pathetic.

"Are you sure? I hate to ditch you already but Jazz just got here a little before you and I haven't seen him in a month since he and Rose, who I forgot to tell you is his twin sister, just got in from a trip to Texas celebrating his grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. I have missed my man!" Alice exclaimed as she started bouncing around again.

"It's fine. Have fun and I'll see you later," I said, hoping that she would take the hint.

"Ok, cool. Will see you later and we can head down to the cafeteria and pick up some supper so you can meet everyone," Alice stated as she bounded to the door.

"Ok, see ya," I said.

Alice waved and shut the door behind her as I fell back on the bed in a heap. I needed a shower to wash off the flaky skin, an anxiety pill and a long nap, not necessarily in that order. This is going to be a long year. God help me.

**Thanks for the adds and the reviews. I really love getting them! Well, what do ya think so far? I know its a lot of blah blah but I need to set the base and the characters before the real story can flow…we have made it to the dorm and met the Tornado called Alice. The rest of the crew will come in the next chapter and never fear…Edward will be introduced soon. Please review. I hope to post the next chapter by the weekend. **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Letting Down the Walls

By Edwards My Obsession 1971

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just love to borrow them for my own personal pleasure.**

_**BPOV**_

After Tasmanian Alice left the dorm room, I was literally overwhelmed. It appears that I've been placed with the most hyper, energetic and social co-ed on campus. After several minutes of self pity I got off my bed and went to grab my bag of toiletries and I headed into the bathroom for a nice long shower.

As the warm water cascaded over my body I relaxed some and tried to put things into perspective. Alice is a force of nature that I doubt can be tamed so I'm just going to have to lay low and hope that this other roommate, Rose will take the focus off me. Until then I need to just find somewhere to hide out.

I reached for my milk and strawberry body wash and lathered up thoroughly. I hated looking at my skin but it didn't appear to look too bad today. I've been much worse in the past, now only sporting a few stubborn patches of psoriasis on my legs and arms but my back tends to be worse. I can't see it and God knows I am not going to ask anyone else to look at it. I made a mental note to ask the doctor for some type of cream that I can apply but then again, how am I going to apply it? ARG!

Trying to move on past that thought, I rinsed off and began to lather my hair with the matching shampoo. I guess I'm lucky that I don't have psoriasis on my scalp or I'd have to use that icky smelling tar based shampoo. Yuck. I look bad enough without adding the smell of coal tar to the mix.

I rinsed out my hair after conditioning it and stepped out to dry off and apply some moisturizing lotion all over. Afterwards I towel dried my hair and pulled it into a messy bun. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. I was just…plain. I have reddish- brown hair that comes down to my shoulder blades. I guess my hair matches my brown eyes and pale complexion. Add the lesions on my skin to make me look like a freak. A plain Jane freak.

I planned on hiding out in the library for awhile so I rummaged through my suitcase and grabbed a pair of gray yoga pants, gray UDub hoodie, fuzzy socks and my black Chuck Taylors. After I dressed and gave myself a once over, I grabbed my cell, my key card and a $20 from my wallet and headed out into the hallway.

It looked like most everyone had settled in since it didn't take me long to get the elevator and ride down to the lobby. I threw my hood over my head as I ducked and slid out the front door as nonchalantly as I could watching every step. Grace is not my middle name (it's Marie) and I can fall over absolutely nothing and bust my ass.

I made my way over to Rathbone Library and climbed the steps to enter the building. Now, this is my domain. I love the smell of old leather and paper. It comforts me. I began walking down the aisles until I found the section I was looking for, The Classics. Alcott, Bronte', Austen…these are my friends and they don't judge me or let me down. I reached for my old standby and settled onto one of the suede couches along the outer walls to immerse myself in the fated love of Catherine and Heathcliff when suddenly I felt my phone vibrate. Looking around I saw that no one was close by so I decided to answer it. After looking at the caller ID and I saw it was Renee.

"Hello Mom," I whisper talked. "I'm sorry I haven't called. It's been crazy here."

"Oh honey. I already miss you so much! But I have news! When we came home from the airport today, Phil had a message waiting on the answering machine. He's gotten an offer to try out for the Jacksonville AAA baseball team since they need a catcher! Baby, if he gets signed we're moving to Jacksonville! We're flying out tomorrow," Renee gushed. "Can you believe it?"

"Wow. That's great," I said quietly. "What about my stuff and the house in Phoenix?" I asked as a chewed on my nails. I only packed what I needed here and hated the thought of my stuff being shipped across the country.

"Honey, we'll cross that bridge when we get there, but I'd have to put it in storage for you since we'd have to put this house up for sale. But I don't want you stressing over that, ok?"

"Ok, Mom. Hey, I have to go. I'm in the library and the librarian is giving me the stink eye. I promise to call soon and let me know what Phil finds out. Bye and love you guys," I told Renee before she broke off into senseless chatter about sun and sand since it's not like I can enjoy either of those things.

"All right. Phil sends his love and I'll text or call you when we get to Florida. Bye, baby girl," Renee stated as we hung up the phone.

I needed to call Charlie I guess, but he knows I'm not a talker so I'll make a note to call him tomorrow or Monday. No news is good news for Charlie. I turned off my cell as my stomach let out a loud gurgle.

"Damn, I haven't eaten since Phoenix," I said out loud to myself and the librarian proceeded to answer me with a 'SHHHHH!' I decided it was time to find the cafeteria. Charlie and I were going to eat after he picked me up but I just wanted to come on and get settled. I put the book back on the shelf and headed toward the double doors to leave. I pulled up my hoodie and as I reached for the door it flew open and I almost plowed over a huge figure in my path.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention," I said as I lowered my head and tried to slide by.

"Hey, it was my bad. You ok?" said the hulking guy.

He was nice looking with big blue eyes and curly black hair. I guessed he was over six foot tall and he appeared to be solid muscle.

"Emmett's my name and I room over in Pattinson. You new here?"

"Uh, yeah," I stammered, as I toed the carpet. "Um, I'm Bella and I'm a transfer from Arizona and I room in the same dorm as you with two girls named Alice and Rosalie."

"Well, hot damn. You room with my baby sis and my girlfriend then. The little pixie is my sister. Rose will be here tomorrow. I was just gonna run in here and drop off this book from last semester and head over to the cafeteria to meet Alice and her boyfriend, Jasper, who happens to be my roomie. Why don't ya let me walk you there? It's getting dark out and you might get lost being you're new and all. Alice will kill me if I leave you hangin' here alone anyhow," Emmett said to me as he dropped off the book that was three months late garnering a scowl from behind the counter.

What to do! I am not social and socializing involves talking and talking opens up questions which I don't want to answer but something tells me Emmett isn't going to take no for an answer. Annoyance must run in the family. What a family too! A pixie and a giant.

"Ok, I guess so. I haven't eaten all day and I'm getting a little light-headed," I said quietly.

"Excellent! After you my dear," Emmet said with a flourished bow as he held open the door.

Luckily it was a short walk and not a lot of conversation was made. We went inside and I fell in behind Emmett as we went to the line to grab our food. I put an apple, a turkey sandwich and a bottled water on my tray. Emmett put one of everything on his and we went to the pay line. I reached into my pocket for the twenty I stashed there and I was smacked lightly on the top of the hand.

"Nope, I've got it," Emmett said with a dimpled grin as he paid for our food before I could argue. DAMN that was so fast I couldn't react but to drop my jaw and stare.

"Better get used to that, Bella. We are family now!" Emmett exclaimed as he walked over to the table where I saw Alice grinning and waving wildly at me. Alongside her was a tall, slim guy with shoulder length blonde hair and hazel eyes.

"BELLA! I went to get you and you were gone! Almost caused me heart failure! Come. Sit!" Alice chirped out in her tinkling voice.

"Uh, sorry. I went to the library and lost track of time," I said feeling like I had just been scolded by her.

"Oh, it's ok. I just wanted to introduce you to Jazz and Emmett, but I see Emmett beat me to the punch, didn't ya, Brother Bear?" Alice said as she smacked Emmett on the arm. "I hope he didn't act like a dork, Bella."

"Now, Sis. I met her in the library. Well, I almost tackled her but no harm no foul, right Bella?" Emmett said as he began shoving food into his mouth.

That boy can eat!

"Whatever, Em. Bella, this gorgeous specimen of man is my boyfriend, Jasper Hale. Jasper, this pretty girl is my new best friend, Bella Swan," Alice said as she bounced up and down in the seat.

Jasper held out his hand to shake and I knew I couldn't be rude so I shook his hand, barely touching him. "Howdy, Bella. Any friend of Alice is a friend of mine. Welcome to UDub. Just let one of us know if you need anything."

"Thanks. Nice to meet you all too," I said as I lowered my eyes to my tray of food and began eating.

"Ok. Next Saturday is the Back to School party over at Whitlock. Bella, you and I MUST go shopping for something hot and sexy to wear. We need to find you a man so we can double date!" Alice said excitedly. "Someone as pretty as you will have no trouble finding a date, but I'll help you cull out the douche bags, like Newton or Crowley. Ugh."

"Oh, well, I don't want you to go to any trouble for me. I'm not really a social butterfly and I'd just drag you down. Just go on without me and I'll stay in the dorm and read or watch a movie..." I said hoping to discourage the train wreck that she was suggesting.

"Nonsense, Bella. It's no bother at all. This is what I live for!" Alice said as she smacked the table with a smirk. "Rose will be here tomorrow, and we'll head to the mall and get our outfits. She is a wizard with hair and I'll help do your make up. It 'll be awesome!"

I could see that this was going to be a problem but they are being so nice to me! I have never had this before besides my small family. But there is _no way_ I'm going to get dressed in anything other than long sleeves and long pants. Alice or no Alice. It's just not possible! And a date? Please! Not happening. They don't know about my condition and I don't know how to tell them. I'm used to just hiding it and keeping my distance from these situations. But, I'm so tired of watching the world go by while I sit back and miss out on everything fun. These are seriously three of the most beautiful people I've ever met and I'm sure there's no room in their lives for someone like me. What if they make fun of me and leave me all alone like the others have always done? People can be so cruel and after many years of being called "flake girl" and people acting like I was contagious, it's hard to let down the walls I have erected as protection. I need to get away and think for a while, and a nerve pill won't hurt anything either. That's what they're for; to keep me calmer so I don't flare up my psoriasis.

"Ok, well I guess we'll see how things are tomorrow. I'm pretty tired so I think I 'll just head back to Pattinson and turn in for the night. It's been a long day," I announced as I got up to dump my tray, careful to not throw out my bottled water.

"Hey, be careful on the way back, and it was nice to meet ya," Jasper said and Emmett agreed by nodding his head as his mouth was still full of food.

Seriously, where is it all going? There isn't an ounce of fat I can see on him! Must be nice.

"If you're sure, Bella. I'm going to head back up to Jazz's room awhile and you'll probably be asleep when I get back, so I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" Alice asked as she hopped up and wrapped me up in a big hug.

"That's fine. Goodnight, everyone."

And with that I turned and walked out into the night. So much is on my mind right now. In less than six hours I have made friends, been propositioned for a trip to the mall, been set up for a makeover and expected to go man-hunting. What in the world am I going to do? I made my way into the dorm and decided to climb the stairs to the room. I went in and started to change into my pajamas. After going through my nightly bedtime ritual of thick lotion all over and brushing my teeth and hair out I went to my messenger bag to find my little pill bottle of Xanax. I hate taking it but I haven't been able to cope any other way in a few years. I took my bottle of water and washed it down before I crawled into bed and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

**Well now we have met Emmett and Jasper. Rose will make her grand appearance in the next chapter and maybe, just maybe Edward too. I am ready for him but the storyline just is not there yet. But no worries…Edward IS my obsession after all…lol. Leave me your reviews please. I am still feeling my way through this with lots of encouragement from some really great writers and I need your input. After we get everyone settled things are going to move much faster and smoother. I promise! Thanks to everyone that has put me on their alerts and author lists. I want to make you all proud! **


	4. Chapter 4

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 4

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just love to borrow them for my own personal pleasure. **

_**BPOV**_

Sleep thankfully came easily and I awoke the next morning feeling much better in the light of the new day. I hadn't pondered much over the way I was going to approach this situation with Alice because frankly, I had no idea how I was going to fix this. I rolled out of bed and stretched making my way to the bathroom when I heard Alice from the other room.

"Good morning, sleepyhead! I hope you rested well. We have much to do today."

I groaned internally figuring not only is Alice extremely happy all the time, she's also a morning person. I don't function well until my shower and several cups of coffee.

"Yeah, thanks, Alice. I hope you slept well, too," I said as I shuffled to the bath and shut the door.

I finished my business, donned my long robe and went back out to grab my clothes for the day when I saw Alice rummaging through my clothes that were haphazardly dumped on the foot of the bed.

"Bella, Bella, Bella! We've got to update this wardrobe. All you have in here are jeans, sweats, yoga pants, long sleeved tees and sweatshirts. I only see plain white panties and bras too! Did you forget to pack your good stuff or what girl?" Alice said as she "tsked" and placed her tiny hands on her hips as she sighed. "No worries, Bella. I have great taste in clothes, not to put your stuff down at all, but you are twenty-one, beautiful and you need to dress the part! Here, let me see what I can find in my closet. You are about a size six, right? Be right back!"

And with that she skipped, yes, skipped across the room and started sorting through her immense offering of clothes. Jesus, she didn't have any quit in her system.

"Not today Alice," I groaned. "My clothes are fine. It's what I'm comfortable in. Wait. Let me throw on these jeans and a sweat shirt. I need coffee in a bad way."

Alice huffed and said. "Fine, but we ARE going to go shopping today. I am great at sniffing out bargains so we can fix you up. I know Victoria's Secret is the first place we're hitting up!"

I sat down on the edge of my unmade bed waiting for her to go back to her room so I could dress. I had not figured the lack of privacy into the equation.

"I'm just going to step in here and change. Be right back." I said as I grabbed my clothes and underwear from the pile and slid into the small bath and shut the door.

As soon as I did, I slid down the door to the floor, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. This was too much for me. Since I'd never really had any girlfriends after I became a teen, I never paid much attention to things like underwear, make up and pretty clothes. I was just plain old Bella Swan … the chick with spots all over. What's the point in putting on all that fancy stuff when I was the only one that was going to see it or care about what I looked like? I couldn't stop the strangled sobs and a few rogue tears from falling as I hastily wiped them away. I had not cried over myself in so long. I hated self-pity but I hated the self-loathing even more. Steeling my resolve, I stood up and went to splash some water on my face. I dressed quickly and threw my hair up in a low ponytail and opened the door.

"Ok, I'm ready," I announced as I went the bedside table and grabbed my cell, wallet and key card. I also noticed that in my absence Alice had hung up my clothes and put my underwear away which made me blush. Oh, I do hate my blush.

"I hope you don't mind but I put your stuff away for you. I don't mean to pry but are you okay? I mean, I hope I haven't come off as rude or anything. You seem to be upset and I want you to know that I am a great listener too. Please talk to me. I heard you crying," Alice pleaded as she took a tentative step toward me, worry etching her beautiful face.

I took a deep breath and shut my eyes. I guess it's now or never. Please God, I hope this isn't a mistake telling her but if I'm going to live in the same space with her the next few months I guess this conversation is inevitable.

"No, I guess I am not ok. I mean, I AM ok, but … wow, this is hard for me. See, I have never really had any close friends, Alice. Not since I was a young teenager," I spat out as the tears began to fall freely.

"When I was fourteen, I developed this itchy rash on my left leg. I didn't think much of it and neither did my mom. I was always tripping over thin air and I figured I had come in contact with poison ivy or something but no matter what I put on the rash it never went away. Mom took me to my doctor and he recommended a dermatologist. That's when I found out I had psoriasis. Over time, even with treatment, the areas spread till it covered most of my body. I lost all my self-confidence, Alice. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my body so I started pulling away from everyone. The kids my age began making fun of me and calling me cruel names. Boys would knock my books out of my hands and trip me calling me "freak" or "flake". The girls whispered and made up horrible rumors of how I got my condition. Recently with some new biologic drugs I have responded well to them and I only have a few plaques now that linger but I never know what will cause a flare, like stress or the weather. I also take anti-anxiety meds to help. I hurt inside really bad, Alice, so I don't know how to be your friend or how to handle being around all of you guys. You have all been so nice. I know that's all going to change now that you know, but thank you anyway for wanting to help."

After I ended my rant, I took a breath and turned toward the door to leave.

"Bella," Alice said quietly. "I had no idea you were hurting so bad. I know we just met, but I feel a connection to you. I can't explain it. We want to be your friend, and I don't give a damn about your skin except to help you cope any way that I can. I know a little about psoriasis because my dad happens to be a dermatologist here in Seattle and he's one of the best in the nation. I'm not afraid of catching it or whatever because I know it's not contagious. Those other kids were ignorant and cruel. Please let me help you. We can call my dad and I know he'll want to treat you. Do you have a dermatologist here in town yet?"

I turned to her and saw the sincerity in her eyes.

"I'm waiting on a call from my new derm. My doctor in Phoenix is supposed to be transferring my files to a doctor at Seattle Memorial." I said as I made my way over to stand near Alice.

"You have no idea how good it feels to get all that off my chest. I really appreciate what you said to me. Please just be patient because letting people in is hard for me. As far as you wanting me to go shopping, I just can't wear things that show too much skin or whatever so I always buy loose long-sleeved shirts and long pants and I wear them year round and I have NEVER even thought about anything, uh, sexy as far as my underwear. I'm sorry to be a fashion drag."

Alice wrapped her little arms around me and hugged me tightly.

"Oh, Bella, I promise to be your friend and support you always. Don't be afraid to tell me when I'm being too much for you. I don't mean to be. I clearly understand your need to cover up your skin but Bella, you really don't see yourself very clearly. You have a beautiful, natural face with a clear complexion, deep brown eyes, shiny hair and a pretty smile. I know that under all those clothes you have a rockin' size six body too, so all we need to do is find some flattering clothes that still meet your need to cover your arms and legs. NO woman needs to be without sexy lingerie! Just wearing it will boost your mood I'm sure! A little VS does help mine beside the fact that it tends to put Jazz in a good mood, too, if you know what I mean," Alice waggled her eyebrows and winked.

"Too much information, Alice," I laughed as my face heated with a blush at her forwardness. "But I get it, and thank you. We'll see how things go and take it slow, ok? Now let's go get that coffee."

We were heading to the door when it opened and in walked a beautiful, tall blonde that looked like she should be walking the runway somewhere.

"Rose!" Alice exclaimed as she went to give her a hug. "Glad you made it back and brought your brother back to me!" Alice gestured toward me. "This is Bella Swan. She is our roommate. Bella, this is Rosalie Hale. "

"I'm so glad to be home. Texas was great but the weather is too freakin' hot, Al. I would have been here last night but I was so damn tired when we flew in yesterday I thought I would just stay at home and drive up this morning. I knew Jazz would break his neck to get back here to see you, though. Oh and it's nice to meet you, Bella." Rose said coolly but politely and she turned back to Alice. "I am dying to get a hold of your brother, Pix and I really need some java."

"We were just heading out so drop your stuff off and let's go. I'd hate for Em to bust a nut being apart from you much longer." Alice rolled her eyes as she replied.

Rose set her suitcase by the vacant bed and with that she and Rose headed out the door, still chatting. I silently followed behind as we made our way to the cafeteria. I'll be the first to admit, I was more than a little intimidated by Rose.

The cafeteria was crawling with students and I suddenly wanted to crawl back to the room but Alice grabbed me by the arm and led me over to the buffet line.

"I could see your flight reflex was about to kick into hyper drive, Bella. But really, trust me. Things are going to be fine. I have a feeling that big things are going to happen and I'm almost always right. I know Rose isn't the easiest person to get to know but she is loyal to a fault, and she loves my brother and Em already loves you so it's a win-win."

I looked at Alice and then over to the table that now seated Jazz and an almost pornographic Emmett and Rose thinking that they seemed to be willing to befriend me so I should be willing to try as well.

"Ok, Alice. You are right. I'm sorry I freaked out. Let's go on over so I can drink this caffeine!"

"That's the spirit!" Alice cheered as she ushered us over to the table.

"Hells Bells! Good to see you this morning," Emmett boomed out.

"Damn, Em. Inside voice! Excuse him, Bella. He was raised by wolves," Rose said. "Have a seat."

I sat down to Rose's left and Alice sat down to my right with Jasper sliding around to her side and placing a tender kiss on her cheek.

"Good morning baby. I missed you when you left last night." Alice just winked and kissed him back as he faced me.

"Mornin' Bella," Jasper said as I detected a slight southern drawl I had not noticed before. "I trust you slept well?"

"Very well, thank you both." I said as I took my first drink of coffee deciding I would try and make some conversation. "So let me know something about you all. I assume we are all close in age?"

Rose began, "I know we just met but I think you'll fit in our little group nicely. I'm twenty-two and from Houston, Texas but Jazz and I have lived here since we were seniors in high school. That's how we all met. I am a senior working on a double major in marketing and automotive technology. My hobby is restoring old cars and my full time job is keeping Em out of trouble."

"And my job is so smother her with lovin'," Emmett replied cheekily. "I'm twenty-two like Rosie. You know Alice is my baby sis and we have one older brother who is in his first year of med school. We were born and raised here in Seattle. Mom is an interior designer and dad is a dermatologist. Oh and I am a senior physical therapy major." Emmett then turned his attention back to sucking face with Rose.

Jazz cleared his throat and began with a chuckle, "Excuse those two. They have never been much for being tactful. Well, you know I came here the same as Rose since we are twins. I'm a senior history major and I hope to teach U.S. History when I graduate this spring. Pixie and I have been dating since my senior year of high school, same as Rose and Emmett."

I could see Jasper was a man of few words but I could also see that he loved Alice by the way he looked deep into her eyes.

Alice giggled and said, "You know about me already and now you know all about us. You and I are the babies of the group but that's okay. Now, it's your turn."

Ok, here goes. "Well, my given name is Isabella, but I prefer Bella. I transferred here from University of Phoenix as a junior literary major. I love books and hope to write someday. Uh, I don't have siblings or a boyfriend. I'm kind of a mess because I, uh, have some health issues …"

I froze up. I couldn't do this. They were all looking at me for the rest of my story. Do I just blurt it out or what? Alice must be a mind reader or something because she looked at me and asked if I wanted her to help. I nodded and dropped me eyes back to the table.

"Ok, guys. This is very hard for Bella to talk about because she has been treated badly over her condition with 'friends' being some of the cruelest. I told her that you guys would not judge and that you'd accept her for who she is not what she has." Alice looked to me and grabbed my hand on top of the table. "Bella has a disease called psoriasis. It affects her skin by making red, dry, flaky areas of raised skin that can be very uncomfortable and embarrassing for her. People have treated her like crap over it, but I know you guys will help me make her feel welcome here."

Everyone sat quietly at the table and I could feel the tears well up behind my eyes. I knew that they would bail on me. Why would four popular and beautiful people want to deal with an ugly duckling like me? I took my hand from Alice and started to get up.

"Bella, I am so sorry that you have been through so much. I'll be here for you for whatever you need." Rose said as she wiped at her eyes. "I don't know much about that disease but I promise to always be a true friend to you. Thank you for trusting us. It must be hard for you to do that after how you've been treated in the past."

Jasper concurred, "Bella, darlin'. I think you are one of the strongest people I have ever met to pursue your goals with that much weight on your soul. I could feel the sadness rolling off of you in waves last night but I had no idea the cause. You just hang with us and no one will get away with mistreating you again."

"Damn straight, Bells!" Emmett said as he reached over to give me a knuckle bump. "You are my sister now and that means what you deal with, I deal with. Don't feel like you are alone anymore."

Alice looked at me with teary eyes and said, "See, Bella? I told you we all already love you so now you have gone from an only child to one of five brothers and sisters!"

With that she sat up straight and looked around the table." Now let's eat. We have a trip to make to the mall!"

I was totally overwhelmed, but in a good way. These people didn't judge me for my disease and they wanted to be my friend as well. I have also never been so comfortable with guys except for Charlie and "Dads" don't count.

I broke into a grin and said, "Yeah guys. Let's get done here so we can get out and have some fun. I think I am overdue."

Everyone agreed and we made our plans for shopping and just hanging out. Things seem to be looking up! I just hope Alice drops the boyfriend issue. That is something I won't ever be able to handle.

**Well folks. We have meet The Crew now and things seem to be going smoothly after a rocky start. Bella is slowly coming out of her shell and with the help of her friends maybe things will just keep getting better. But I have a feeling that there are some "not so nice" people in her future. I know Edward hasn't made an appearance yet but the next chapter is EPOV, thank God, and we will meet Esme, Carlisle and some others. Thanks for your patience and thanks you sooooo much for the alerts and reviews. I thrive on them! **


	5. Chapter 5

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 5

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just love to borrow them for my own personal pleasure. **

_**EPOV**_

_Beep…beep…beep_

I heard the annoying alarm coming from my iPhone on the dresser and I groaned inwardly. My body and brain were rebelling from the lack of sleep the past few weeks. Rolling to my side and grabbing my glasses, I saw the time on the clock read 4:30 a.m. and knew that my nap time was over for this Sunday morning, and probably for the day. Thank God I remembered to set the coffee pot last night because today isn't happening without a lot of caffeine to balance out my lack of sleep from last night.

Anyone that tells you that Med School is all hot nurses, kinky sex in the stairwells and 9-5 job hours is full of bullshit. My dad has been a doctor since I was a baby, and knowing all I did about the intensity of the college courses, to the long hours involved, didn't change my plans of action when I started college five years ago. Sure, I went through the childhood dreams of being a fireman or a major league baseball player, but only one vocation held my soul.

Medicine has been my dream since I was about ten, and I remember the first time I knew it was what I wanted to do with my life. Dad and I were at Wal-Mart picking up some things for Mom and as we were shopping, we ran into a young girl about my age shopping with her mother. Evidently the child had developed plantar warts and was having a lot of pain and mobility issues. Mom had brought the child to Seattle Memorial to see Dad, thinking her daughter was developing bone cancer and Dad had been able to quickly diagnose and treat the child bringing much relief to the family. That day at Wal-Mart, the little girl hugged him tightly and thanked him for helping her stop hurting, as did the mom. Seeing that side of my Dad was amazing and I wanted it. Badly.

So after taking every AP course I could in high school, and foregoing the baseball scholarship to UCLA that I had received, I applied to UDub with all of my general studies and some of my prerequisite science classes completed making me a year ahead of the incoming freshman class. I immersed myself in my classes, taking every available summer class in my required list, and luckily excelled in them all, which got me where I am today. I had decided over the summer to make my focus dermatology/immunology. I want to treat immune-deficiency and the related diseases alongside my dad in his dermatology practice. Today I am going to begin shadowing the doctors at Seattle Memorial's Dermatology Institute to try and learn everything I can that books can't teach me.

After a few more minutes of getting the cobwebs out of my head I threw myself out of bed and padded into the bath to shower, shave and get ready for the day. Scrubs are my friend since they don't require much thought. I grabbed a set out of the closet on my way and grabbed the first pair of boxers and white socks in the top drawer of the dresser. Hospital green matches hospital green which matches my white lab coats and gray New Balance tennis shoes so no confusion at 2 a.m. when you get called out to the hospital.

I just got my own place this summer but felt it was necessary. I have an apartment about fifteen minutes from the hospital and about thirty minutes from the college. I chose to live at home with my dad, Carlisle and my mom, Esme, during my regular college years and that was great since I only lived twenty minutes from campus, but now that my days and nights are not my own I thought that it was time to move out.

I am the oldest of three kids and we are truly stair steps, with Alice being twenty-one, Emmett is twenty-two, and I'm twenty-three. Both are in school at U Dub but both chose to stay in the dorms after their freshman years.

After my morning bathroom rituals were complete, I managed to get some of my crazy hair to lie flat, which is a feat in itself. I preceded pop in my contacts and head to the kitchen to grab my "Doctors Do It Best" travel mug, which was a gift from Emmett last Christmas, and down my first of many cups of liquid gold today.

Looking at my watch it was now almost five o'clock and I needed to be at the ER to meet Dr. Stewart at 5:45 so I went to my room, grabbed my cell, wallet and keys and headed out the door. My apartment has an underground garage so I felt lucky not to have to dodge the raindrops as I headed out to my car.

I love my car. It is a 2009 silver Volvo C30 and no, it's not a Soccer-mobile. I was lucky not to have to worry about money since all three of us kids received a hefty inheritance from our parents when we turned eighteen and then again at twenty-one. Both sets of grandparents came from affluent families and our parents had received trusts when they married, which had been well into the millions apiece. That money had been wisely invested over the years bringing the total to a money figure that is embarrassing to even mention. So as I said, since money was not an issue, the first thing I bought was my car with all the bells and whistles. Now, mind you, I am not a frivolous guy but a man's got to have wheels.

The only other major purchase I've made is my apartment. Since my mom is an interior designer, she helped me find this place. Mom took it apart and remodeled everything adding a marble shower unit, sunken marble tub, granite countertops, top end appliances and coordinating furniture in all three bedrooms, the dining room and the living room and it was in nice neutral colors as well. I had quite a bachelor pad.

Dr. Stewart was waiting at the ER registration desk when I arrived at 5:40 and she gave me a small smile.

"Cutting it close, Edward but on time none the less. Let's go get started."

"Thanks, Dr. Stewart. I had a little trouble parking," I said lamely. "I will make sure to give myself more time in the future."

"Very good, Edward. Now, your father has told me that you would like to work in the dermatology and immunology field. That is a commendable idea. There are so many auto-immune diseases that need a cure or new medicines for treatment. Now, I know that your father is the head of this department but I also know Carlisle well enough to know that he will not expect you to ask for any special treatment," Dr. Stewart stated as we made our way down the hallway to the unit.

"That will not a problem, Dr. Stewart," I said. "In fact, I hope that I am treated with more scrutiny since I am his son. I don't want anyone to say I'm riding my dad's coat tails."

I knew this might be an issue and I'd have to watch myself to make sure there was no nepotism. I knew Dad well, and favoritism won't be a problem.

"Your father was right when he said that you were an exceptional young man. I think you'll be just fine," She said as we stopped at the registration desk where I looked into the eyes of my worst nightmare. This is not good at all.

"Lauren, I trust that you know Edward? He is going to be working here shadowing Dr. Cullen and myself for the next several months. I would like you to fix him up with a proper nametag and parking tag for the doctor's parking garage. When you are finished send him to my office," Dr. Stewart said as she patted me on the back. "I will see you shortly, Edward."

As I watched her walk away, I steeled myself, trying to get my emotions in check before I had to deal with Lauren.

"Hiya, Edward. You are looking damn fine in those scrubs," Lauren said as she leaned forward on her elbows trying to reveal as much cleavage as she could. "There is nothing hotter than a fine doctor in a tight pair of scrubs. You and your dad come from good genes. Mmmm," she said as I felt myself throw up a little in my mouth.

Lauren and I went to high school together and she has had some type of fixation on me since my junior year. She was attractive I guess, if you like artificial blonde hair, fake breasts and an annoying high pitched nasally voice. It was like fingernails on a chalkboard, but I have to be professional even if she isn't and try to nip this in the bud right now.

"Good morning, Lauren. How is Tyler? I heard you two got married over the summer," I said as I took a seat as far down the desk as I could.

Lauren looked at me through her fake eye lashes.

"Tyler and I split up. He seems to think I'm cheating on him or something. Whatever gives him that idea, I don't know. So, I'm NOT attached right now. Are you?"

Now that's the million dollar question that I get, most often from Esme Cullen herself.

"No time for that, Lauren. I'm really busy and focused on my career. Now, if we can get my badge and parking pass, I need to be getting my day started," I said as nicely and forcefully as I could. I fear I'm going to have to talk to Carlisle about this Lauren issue if she doesn't let it go.

"Oh, yeah, right. Here roll your chair over to the wall and I'll take your picture. Say cheese!" She said as she snapped my photo and proceeded to run it through the embosser to make my badge.

She then went to her desk computer and assigned me with a parking tag. She handed both to me.

"Here ya go, Edward. If you need anything and I mean ANYTHING, you can find me right here and I'll do WHATEVER you need done."

This girl has no clue … and poor Tyler. He was so whipped over her in school. Girls like Lauren are exactly why I'm single, but I digress. I need to get to work.

"Thanks and I'll see you around," I said as I left for Dr. Stewart's office.

Dr. Stewart was sitting behind her desk as I knocked and she motioned me to enter.

"Everything looks to be in place, Edward. I was just going over your file and a few appointments that I'll be setting up this week. I must say I am impressed over your academic transcript. You have been a busy young man. I hope you remember to have some fun as well. Life is too short not to enjoy it," Dr. Stewart exclaimed as she shook her finger at me, jokingly.

"Well, there has not been much time for socializing, Dr. Stewart. I am anxious to get my license so I've been getting all the hours and classes I can in attending summer school as well. I figure there'll be time to enjoy life when this part of my life is finished," I answered back with a small smile.

"Very good. Now, I know you are still a student but you have been through some clinical training so you are proficient in vitals, bedside manner, charting and research. You have the same medical proficiency as a registered nurse, and you will be acting as such. I have a few new patients to schedule this week. I'd like to see your interaction with the staff and patients as well. I see that you are only in classes till noon on Monday, Wednesday and Friday so we'll set you up here from 1pm-5pm on those days and on weekends if the doctor will need assistance. I don't want to hinder you from your school projects and other work. You'll mainly be setting up the new patient's H&P and assist in the initial check- up. Your father is in agreement on this arrangement and I hope this meets your approval as well."

"Yes, Doctor. That sounds great. Will I begin tomorrow? If so, I'd like to have a copy of the new patient's records sent to my email so I can do some research before the visits. I've been HIPAA trained and have the encryption software that Dr. Cullen gave me installed on my home office laptop."

"Excellent and I'm glad you know to address your father as Dr. Cullen while you are in a professional capacity here. Your email is attached to the school, so that will make it a secure transaction. I would like to review the cases with you today and you can delve deeper into the files when you get to your office tonight."

I reached into my briefcase and grabbed a notebook for notes.

"The first patient is a fifty year old man that has a history of skin cancer. He has had cancerous malignancy removed on his upper back as well. He has developed a few areas that is concerning to his wife. I plan to schedule him on Wednesday for exam and possible biopsy. The second is a seventy-three year old woman with post-mastectomy issues from her skin grafting and she will be coming from Olympia on Friday. Lastly, we will be seeing a twenty-one year old student from the University that is a transferring here from Phoenix. She has moderate to severe psoriasis and will need an Enbrel injection along with a full physical including labs. She is also on Xanax for nerve issues. I've left a message on her voicemail to come tomorrow and I'll know the time when she calls back. You will be assisting your father and me, but I am off tomorrow, so you will need to report to Dr. Cullen no later than 12:45 to get report. Do you have any questions?" she said as she shut her file and sat back in her chair.

"No, Doctor. I can't think of any at the moment, but if I do I'll let you or Dr. Cullen know. I'll study the cases tonight and report to him tomorrow. Thank you," I said as I reached out to shake her hand.

"I'll have these to your email by five this evening. That's all I have today, since it's a Sunday we only see emergency cases and things are relatively quiet. You can go, as soon as you go over the clinic's policy and procedure handbook, as well as the office interdepartmental guide. You should be able to do that and be out of here in time to enjoy your Sunday afternoon. I look forward to working with you, Edward," Dr. Stewart said as she returned my handshake and walked me to the door.

"Good afternoon, Doctor," I said and a left her office to make my way to my Father's office to go over the handbooks he stored there.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I wasn't planning on stopping at the front desk on my way out, and was hoping to leave undetected, but I had no such luck.

"Edward, are you leaving so soon? I was hoping we could grab lunch in the lounge. It is deserted today," Lauren said, trying to sound sexy and failing miserably.

When will women learn that most men don't want women like that?

"Yes, I have lots of research to do, so if you'll excuse me I need to be going. Have a nice afternoon, Lauren."

And with that I strode out of the office and made my way to my car. I reached in my pocket to hit the key fob when I felt my cell ring.

"Hello, Mom. What's up?" I said as I got into my car.

"Not a lot, Son. I just thought you may have forgotten where I live or my phone number. I haven't seen or heard from my eldest son in 3 weeks!" Esme scolded as she chuckled. "Have you been okay?"

"Yes, ma'am, things have just been busy. You know I'd never purposely ignore my number one gal. Hey, is Dad home? I was thinking that I'd stop by today, even before you called. I got a few patient assignments that I'd like his input on before I start my research tonight," I said as I steered out into the Sunday traffic.

"Yes, dear. He's in the study. I made a nice roast for lunch. Why don't you come on over and we can have lunch together? Then you can talk to Carlisle as well. I need to lay eyes on my first born," Esme stated.

I know Mom may be small in stature but she can bring any of us down, including Dad, with just one look.

"Oh man. I'm on my way, sweet mother of mine. That pot roast beats the frozen pizza that would have been my lunch otherwise. See you in about twenty minutes. Love you," I said to Mom as I hit the expressway out to the suburbs.

"I love you too. See you in a bit and drive carefully," Mom said as she hung up.

I sat my cell in the passenger seat, turned up some eighty's rock on my XM radio and punched the gas. I was anxious to see my parents, hungry for that delectable pot roast, and excited that I'm already seeing patients tomorrow. Life is good and is only going to get better.

**Now we have met Edward and Lauren. It was very hard for me to decide on HOW to write EPOV but there it is. I am researching my facts as I go, but if I screw something up, I'm sorry. He is young to be where he is but he is FAST and smart. So I am letting him be as he is. More on him the next chapter as it will likely be both Bella and Edward's point of views. Sounds like they just may meet next time around…Like it? Hate it? Please hit that review button and let me know. I have this story outlined but not written page for page. This is likely to be a long story now that I have gotten rolling with it. So much to do! Thanks again for the alerts, favorites and reviews. They mean so much to me and encourage me to keep going. Till next time! **


	6. Chapter 6

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 6

**AN: This chapter will begin in BPOV and end in EPOV so they can get on the same page, so to speak. I think it is about time…Now, off to the mall.**

_**BPOV**_

I still couldn't believe things had gone as well as they did when Alice told the rest about my condition and my fear of people being close to me. Since I'd been in my shell so long, I'd forgotten what it was like to be around people that liked me for ME. I certainly had missed out on so much in my life while hiding behind my psoriasis. I almost felt like I was in a dream. At least this is a good dream and I want to enjoy it as long as it lasts.

After we finished eating, Alice made the suggestion, or really gave the order in a no nonsense tone, that we go get freshened up and meet back in the lobby in thirty minutes. No one argued and I can imagine that it would've fallen on deaf ears anyhow. So the girls split from the guys and went back to our rooms to get ready. When we got to the room, Alice immediately went to my closet.

"Now Bella, give me and Rose a few minutes and then we will help you get ready. Today is the day we break out the Bella that I know is just under the surface," Alice said soothingly as I sat down on my bed.

I was nervous and the thought of them seeing me, in any form of undress but if I was going to get past my mental block, I needed to trust them. As they got ready I decided I'd check my cell messages since I'd turned it off last night. When I turned the phone back on, it immediately chirped with a new voicemail message. I saw it was a number that I didn't recognize so I hit the voicemail button;

'_Isabella Swan. This is Dr. Kris Stewart from the Dermatology Institute at Seattle Memorial Hospital. I've received your transfer file from Dr. Gerandy and I'd like to see you on Monday this coming week. I am keeping the 3:00 time slot open so please give me a call back at 555-5701 and leave a message with my answering service if this is going to be an acceptable time or not. After you leave your message, hit the pound key for directions to our office. I look forward to meeting with you, Miss Swan. Good evening.'_

I couldn't think of anything to keep me from the appointment except for transportation but I figured I'd ask the girls about the transit service when we went to the mall. I dialed the call back number and left Dr. Stewart a message that I'd be there at 3pm and with that I hung up and scanned through my email. I didn't have my university email set up so it was mostly spam that I just delete. By the time I had deleted all the garbage, Alice and Rose made their way over to the bed with clothes over their arms, a makeup case and a slew of hair products. I cringed.

"Listen, Bella. Before you pass out on me, I want you to remember that you can trust us, right? I promise that I am not going to make you go out in something that you are not comfortable with but seriously, you need more than sweatpants and hoodies in our wardrobe. Rose and I have gone through our stuff and I think we have some things that will fit you. We are going to ease you into things slowly, alright?" Alice said as she sat to my right, patting my trembling hand.

I looked down to our hands, still unsure. I noticed that Alice was dressed in a pair of black tights paired with black Mary Jane's, a red and black plaid mini skirt and a red sweater with a large black belt across the waist. She looked great.

"I want to help you, too, so I am going do your hair and put on some makeup. You are such a strong person, Bella, but you have never felt like you were good enough to fix yourself up. Now, I think you are beautiful just as you are, but let's just try a few things to see if we can enhance what God gave you, ok?" Rose said as she sat down on my other side on the bed.

Rose was gorgeous in a pair of blue low rider jeans, tan knee boots and a blue wrap top that accentuated her knock out figure.

Looking at the two of them with their bright eyes, flawless complexions and impeccable taste in clothes, I wondered how I got to this place in my life. I SHOULD know how to do something besides throw my hair up into a ponytail and I SHOULD know how to apply makeup, but I know none of these things. Renee gave up trying to teach me when I was fourteen so I felt very lucky to have Alice and Rose in my life now. I owe it to myself to let them in.

"I'm ready. Like I said before, please be patient as this is all new to me," I said as I stood from the bed.

"Great! I think this is going to be so much fun!" Alice exclaimed with her tinkling voice. "Now, go to the bathroom, get out of those clothes and come out in your robe. We will get things set up."

She and Rose left me to go set up 'Mission Beautify Bella' so I went in the bathroom to do as I was asked.

When I shut the door, I started to undress. I normally try to not look at my skin but I needed to know what shape it was in. I saw several plaques about the size of quarters on both of my thighs and spots on both knees. My arms had rough areas on both elbows and a few smaller spots on my forearms. My abdomen has one spot around my bellybutton and since I couldn't see my back, I assumed there were a few more spots there.

There were several years of my life that I was so covered in psoriasis that it was hard to find a spot that was clear. I was eternally thankful that the Enbrel was doing its job, but I know I will most likely never be 100% clear.

I put on some extra moisturizing lotion everywhere I could reach, donned the robe and went out to the room where the girls had a regular beauty shop set up. Alice ushered me into the seat and Rose began to brush out my long hair. I closed my eyes and when I was told to open them and I looked into the mirror, I saw that Rose had brushed and styled my hair straight with the sides pulled back away from my face with some rhinestone clips.

"You like?" Rose asked.

"Wow, Rose. That only took you a few minutes and yes, I like it very much," I mused.

"I kept it simple but stylish. You have a really healthy head of hair and a lot of it too. Now let's get some makeup on," Rose replied as she began to apply a light moisturizer to my entire face and neck.

I watched as she applied a light, tinted powder to my face, she then brushed some pale pink blush on what must have been key areas on my face. She applied some brown mascara on the top lashes and then finished with a pink gloss on my lips. I was amazed at what I saw in the mirror.

"Perfect. You are such a natural beauty, Bella. I kept things very neutral but it just pops on your face, don't you think?"

I couldn't speak. I hardly recognized the girl in the reflection. She looked pretty and almost confident.

"I love it, Rose. Thank you so much."

"You are most welcome, Bella. I will help teach you how to apply the makeup and do your hair, if you'd like." Rose said. I got up and hugged her hoping she knew that was a yes.

"Now, it's time to get some clothes on you, girl and then you can see the whole package," Alice said as they both went to the door. "You can dress in what I've laid out on your bed while we step out. I know you need your privacy right now. We're going to go check on the guys and will be back in a few minutes."

After they left, I saw that Alice had laid out a pair of dark brown tights, a pink tank and a light brown v-neck sweater dress. She had gotten my dark brown suede boots out of the closet along with a new white bra and panty set from my drawer. I took off the robe and dressed as quickly as possible, in case they came in too soon. Everything fit like a glove and it covered all my problem areas. Who knew that I could dress this chic and still cover my psoriasis? I was floored at my reflection as I looked at myself in the vanity mirror. I saw a twenty-one year old woman that looked like a normal twenty-one year old woman. The makeup and hair made the package complete. As I turned to the door, it opened and both Alice and Rose came in with smiles from ear to ear.

"Oh, you look so hot!" Rose said as she let out a wolf whistle.

Cue my blush.

"Damn girl. You have been hiding THAT all these years! I must say you look stunning, Bella and I love the sparkle in your eyes," Alice said as she bounced on the balls of her feet. "Let's go meet the guys and get this show on the road. Jazz is taking his pickup so we can all ride together."

We went down to the lobby and met the guys, who both gave me a hug. Jasper told me that I looked great and Emmett went as far as to call me 'smokin' hot'. This made me blush _again_. Alice and Rose laughed, and agreed with them then grabbed the guys and we left for the day.

I have never been to so many stores in my life. Alice was on a mission that was solely focused on me. I noticed that we got a lot of attention everywhere we went but with two super models and two good looking guys walking around together, who wouldn't stare? Alice said that it was me catching most of the male glances but I told her she was nuts. If anyone was looking, they would run the other way if they knew what I looked like without all the glitz and nice clothes. This was all superficial and the inner me was far from caught up with this outer me.

I popped in a Xanax when Alice finally gave me a bathroom break about mid trip. I had to admit that I had a great time, even though I was in need of a twelve hour nap by the end of the day. As many times as I offered to pay for something, they both declined saying that this was their gift to me. Even though I felt awful spending that insane amount of money, they would not budge on that issue at all. I'd have to do something nice very soon to pay them back.

Alice and Rose had managed to buy me at least ten nice complete matching outfits, several new pairs of jeans that hugged my every curve , a whole bag full of what I would call 'barely there' underwear sets from Victoria's Secret and several new pajama sets as well. I pleaded for them to send the guys away at that stop, and Jasper must have sensed my mood so he drug Emmett off to the adjacent music store. As we were leaving to go get the guys, I remembered to ask about the doctor visit tomorrow .

"Hey, Alice, I was going to ask you about transit from campus to the city. I have an appointment tomorrow at Seattle Memorial at three but I don't have a car here," I asked Alice as Rose said she would go get the guys and meet us at the truck.

"Hey, that's where my dad works, Bella. Did you get an appointment at the Dermatology Institute?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "A Dr. Stewart called and left me a voicemail early this morning. I called back to confirm the appointment but then I realized I'd need to find a cab or transit bus to take me and pick me up since it's too far to walk."

"She is my dad's partner. I am free tomorrow, so why don't I drive you so you can learn your way there from school?" Alice asked as we exited the mall to the parking lot.

"If that wouldn't be any trouble, Alice, that would help me so much. I'm going to need to figure out how to get around because I can't afford to buy a car," I said.

"You can borrow mine anytime, Bella but tomorrow is taken care of." Alice announced to me. "He is a great man and a great doctor. So is Dr. Stewart. In fact, my older brother is in Med School at UDub to follow in his footsteps."

We arrived at the truck, loaded the bags and headed back to UDub. The two couples were going to go out to the movies, but I declined after much argument from Alice and Rose. I just needed to go unwind and rest. This day had been great on so many levels but mentally and physically exhausting as well. When we arrived at the dorm we unloaded the bags and the guys headed out for their date night. I felt happy for them to have found their soul mates. I knew that I'd never have that in my life, but I was going to try to stay positive and look forward with great friends to help me find my way. I washed off the makeup, put away my new clothes, put on a new pair of pj's and crawled into bed for a long nap. Tomorrow would be another day. I drifted off to sleep happier than I had been in a long time thanks to the power of friendship.

EPOV

After about a fifteen minute ride, I drove into my parent's drive and parked my car. We'd lived in this house all of my life and I guess from the outside it looked like a mansion but it was just home to me. It was a large two story house with a wrap-around porch, an indoor pool, basement bar and game room and a five car attached garage. Since we were blessed financially, my parent's had purchased this house in the mid-eighties and it had been remodeled numerous times to my mother's specifications. We had been lucky growing up with each child having our own second floor bedroom with attached bathrooms and each room also having their own balcony. I got out of my car and went in through the garage with the smell of mom's pot roast wafting through the air as soon as I entered the house.

"Now, that is the best thing I have smelled in a long time, Mom." I said as I walked into the kitchen. Mom was finishing up with the mashed potatoes and Dad was setting the table.

"And you look a lot like my oldest son. Come here and give me a hug!" Mom said as she turned and put her hands on her hips.

I smiled and went over and enveloped Mom in a big hug and kissed her cheek.

"If I wasn't your son, I'd try to weasel my way in, especially if you were going to feed me this well." I said as Mom ruffled my hair.

"You need a haircut. Come on. Let's sit down and eat before it gets cold," Mom said as she handed me the rolls and took the potatoes to the dining room where my dad was waiting.

"Good to see you, Son. I trust things went well with your first day today?" Dad asked as Mom and I sat down.

"Yes, it went fine, although I forgot that Lauren worked there too. I hope that she gets in her head that I am not and will never be interested in her," I said with the last part coming out harshly. "She was hardly professional today, Dad."

"I'll talk to her, Edward. She's a very good secretary but I'll not tolerate any sexual harassment at work," Dad said. "Now, let's eat this meal and then we'll go to my study and discuss your case load for this week."

Dinner was wonderful. I had forgotten what a good cook Mom was. Once again I felt so lucky to have such a great family. After we ate and helped clean up the mess, Dad and I went to the study as Mom went to her office to work on some sketches for a new project she had started. Dad took his place behind his desk and I sat across from him.

"What would you like to discuss?" Dad asked as he leaned back in his chair.

"I have three new patients set up this week, but I wanted to talk to you about one in particular. My first patient is Isabella Swan. She is a twenty-one year old student transfer from Arizona with psoriasis. She is taking Enbrel and is also on anti-anxiety meds. Dr. Stewart hadn't gotten a reply back but I'm assuming that she's coming tomorrow afternoon. Since she's my first patient, I wanted make sure that I have everything set up correctly. What's the protocol for her labs and exam?" I asked while I grabbed a pen and paper to take notes.

"Firstly, Son, be aware that she isn't much younger than you are. She probably is on the anxiety meds to help deal with panic and low self-esteem issues that are highly and sadly common in psoriasis patients. People are cruel, especially with things that they don't understand and society expects perfection. Be sure to be professional but compassionate. Now, I'd begin by sitting down and taking down all viable information that you feel is important to her current condition, health and medications. The nurse will have checked her vital signs and will have the patient dressed in a gown so you can do a check of the problem areas. You should note and view each one. Again, you are acting as a doctor but she still may feel uncomfortable with the questions and the exam but they are imperative to her care. If Maggie pulls the labs she'll know what to do. If you draw her labs run a CBC, CMP and make sure to check her liver function since the biologic drugs can cause damage if not monitored," Dad asserted.

"I also was told she would need an Enbrel injection and I assume a new script as well. Will I be taking care of that or should I have you come and do the injection?" I questioned.

"The injection will be placed in the lab area of the exam room prior to her arrival, as it is kept refrigerated and will need to be at room temperature when given. You can give the injections, or have the patient do it if she is able. I'll be available if you have any problems but I think you will be fine," Dad affirmed.

"Thanks, Dad. I feel better prepared now. I'm going to go say bye to Mom and head out. I want to study on this case tonight. See you tomorrow afternoon," I remarked as I stood to leave.

"I will see you tomorrow then, Edward. Drive safe."

I left Dad's study and went across the house to Mom's office. I could hear her humming a tune as I got close to the door.

"Come on in, Edward Anthony," Mom said as I entered. "You know you kids could never sneak up on me."

"Busted," I smirked. "I just wanted to say thanks for the meal. I need to go study so I'm going to head out."

"Ok, dear. Be careful and call your Mama occasionally, as well as your siblings. A girl in your life wouldn't hurt you either," She said with a stern look. "Oh, I want to plan a dinner over here maybe next weekend and have you, Alice, Emmett, Rose and Jasper over. I would like all my kids in one place before you all get so deep in your schooling. I'm so proud of you all," Mom stated with a large grin.

"Thanks, Mom. I'll call Em and Al sometime this week and catch up over lunch or something. Just call and let me know about the dinner. You know you are the only girl I have time for," I said as I kissed her cheek and turned to leave.

She grunted her goodbye and waved her hand at me as I made my exit.

I got in my car and started back to my apartment to spend the evening studying and researching my cases. After everything that happened a few years ago with Tanya, you would think my mother of all people would understand why I don't want or need a female companion in my life. I don't have time for the hassle or the heartache. That bitch burned me and as far as I'm concerned she would be my last girlfriend ... ever.

**Oh my…tomorrow should be interesting…**


	7. Chapter 7

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal pleasure.

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for all the reviews, adds and alerts. I am proud that this story is touching people and also bringing awareness about psoriasis and the damage it can cause to a person's life, both physically and mentally. It's heartwarming to know I can share such a personal story with each of you. And last but not least, BIG PROPS to kare831 and twimom817 for their stellar beta skills and for the shout out my story on their blog. For that I'm speechless! And some of you thought that was impossible. 6/27/14: RE-worked.**

**Now let's release almost-Docward to play…oh, this will be alternating POV's.**

_**EPOV**_

The drive home only took minutes as I pulled my Volvo back into the garage. I parked and laid my head on the steering wheel. My mind had run vicious circles on the ride home over Tanya and that whole situation.

Tanya.

The name alone makes my blood boil and my pulse quicken, and not in a good way.

_Flashback_

_Tanya had been my girlfriend the last year of high school when she moved here from Chicago. For all accounts we were the perfect, all-American couple. We were both popular and attractive. She was the stereotypical, gorgeous, blue-eyed, blonde cheerleader and I was a six-foot-two baseball jock centerfielder that had the chance to play in the NCAA, and maybe go pro. But I wanted to be a doctor and she wanted to be a nurse so we ran in the same circles in college as well, with us both choosing to be together at U Dub. I thought I was in love and she told me every day that she felt the same. She was special to me, and I had shown her how I felt when we finally made love for the first time on a blanket behind the baseball field our senior year of high school. _

_We spent all the time together that we could at first, and then came the summer after our freshman year of college. I decided to take summer classes to keep my focus on my ultimate goal and she thought I was crazy to miss out on days at the lake and parties at night. But I trusted her and I told her that much when she told me she was heading out with her friends each day. In my mind, we were in love and love conquers all, right?_

_One night, near the fourth of July I was bogged down in the library working on a huge project and I had been there for hours. Tanya had texted me to let me know that she was going to watch the fireworks at the park with her sorority friends and she would meet up with me later on at her dorm room. _

_I needed a night away from studying so I decided to surprise her with supper by candlelight and night of sweet lovemaking in her dorm room. I had a key card so after I gathered all my supplies for the night and I changed into something nice I made my way to her floor and to her room. Her roommate was gone for a few weeks so I knew we would have the place to ourselves._

_I slid the card into the lock and quietly opened the door._

_"Oh, baby. Right there, you stud. OH! Right there and don't stop! Make me your whore again, Mike Newton! Ooooooh!" I heard Tanya moan._

_What the hell?_

_"I'm almost there…ugh. Fuuuck!" grunted "Mike" in the darkness. _

_I flipped on the lights. Tanya lay naked across the bed writhing in her orgasmic bliss and "Mike" was collapsed in a sweaty nude heap breathing heavy on top of MY girl. Or at least she WAS my fucking girl. _

_"What in the hell is going on here? Tanya? Care to fucking explain this…whatever the fuck this is?" I stammered out as I threw my hand out like Vanna White introducing a puzzle on Wheel of Fortune. I was so ready to beat the holy shit out this Mike asshole._

_"Uhm, Edward. What the hell are you doing here? You said you were studying!" Tanya exclaimed as she knocked Mike off the bed and she wrapped the sheet around her. _

_"What?" I yelled. "Does this get excused because I was in the damn library? I am so pissed I can't see straight!" I looked at the douche bag on the floor and made a move toward his cowering form. "Get the fuck out!"_

_"You don't make my choices, Edward. YOU chose class over me. ME! I will sleep with whoever I want. You don't own me and you obviously don't want me!" Tanya screeched reaching for Mike's hand but he had grabbed his clothes and hit the door running._

_"No, we are through now for sure. I don't need your skanky ass in my life, Tanya. No telling how long you have been making a total fool of me and us! Your shit will be boxed and sent here first thing tomorrow. Don't call or talk to me. Do you understand?" I seethed._

_"Don't worry. I do! Mike is more man than you have ever been, Edward. Grab your shit and get out of my life!" Tanya yelled._

So that's what I did. And it was the best thing I have ever done but I will never leave myself open for that to happen again. My hand works just fine, thank you.

I hit my hands on the dash. I need a beer and I have work to do. I got out of the car, grabbed my briefcase and went to my apartment to study for tomorrow's visit.

The apartment was dark and cold when I finally made my way in, just like my mood. I went to the thermostat and turned up the heat, grabbed a beer from the fridge and made my way to my home office to pull the files from my email. Beer and work will bury Tanya and those memories for tonight.

High-speed DSL makes the world a much better place as Dr. Stewart's email loaded. Each file was on an individual link so I clicked on the first link and settled in to study my twenty-one year old patient, Isabella Swan.

_**BPOV**_

I must have been more tired than I thought, because I never heard the girls come back from their dates and the next thing I knew it was mid-morning on Monday. Sometimes Xanax will knock me for quite a loop! I groaned and rolled out of bed, rubbing my eyes.

"Sleep well?" I heard Alice say as she handed me a steaming cup of coffee and a bagel.

"Rose left early to go pick up her books with Em so I grabbed you some grub when Jazz and I went to eat earlier."

I guess this girl never rests. God bless the pixie.

"Thanks, Alice. I can't believe that I slept that long! Your shopping trip must have worn me out." I laughed as I took a big gulp of coffee. Alice made it just right with a little cream and sugar.

"No problem. Do you have any plans today before your doctor appointment?" Alice asked as she sat down on my bed.

"Not that I can think of except I want to make a walk over the campus and find all my buildings. I need to call Charlie too, I guess," I replied.

"Charlie?" Alice questioned.

I laughed. "Yeah, my dad is Charlie. I guess I have called him that to mom so much I forgot that he should just be Dad to me."

"Well, I will leave ya to it, then," Alice said as she went to the door. "I'll be in Jazz's room when you're ready to go."

"Ok," I said as Alice waved and left the room.

I finished my breakfast and went to the closet to pick out something to wear. Never had I had so much to choose from before. I grabbed a pair of my new jeans and a fitted, long-sleeved, blue Hollister t-shirt and set them on my bed, knowing that I wanted to be comfortable for the trip to the doctor. I fished through my drawer of underwear, blushing inwardly at the thongs and push up bras that Alice and Rose insisted that I own. I grabbed a pale pink pair of boy shorts with a matching bra and went to take my shower.

The warm water felt wonderful on my skin. Psoriasis makes the skin itchy, dry and flaky so I made sure to carefully lather and remove all the flaky skin that I could. I washed and conditioned my hair and got out of the shower. I lotioned from head to toe and ran the brush through my long hair. I decided to put it in a messy bun to let it air dry as I called Charlie. I dressed, put on my gray Vans and settled on my bed to make my call to Forks.

"Hello, Chief Swan," Dad said after a few rings.

"Hey, Dad. It's me," I answered. This was probably going to be short and sweet.

"Good to hear from you, Bells. How are things going at school?"

"Great, so far. My roommates are sweet and I have an appointment with my new doctor at three today."

"Well, that's good, Bells. Real good. Do you have everything you need?"

"Yeah, I went shopping and got some new clothes yesterday and I already have my books. Mom gave me a copy of your insurance card before I left home so I'm set. Uh, I guess I had better go. Alice, one of my roommates and her boyfriend are going to show me around campus. I'll call you soon. Love you, Dad."

"Ok, Bells. Oh, and I love you too, kid. Call me soon." With those words, Charlie hung up.

Charlie is a great man but not the biggest talker. I guess I get that from him.

I grabbed my cell and key card and left for the guy's room to grab Alice and Jasper. It was already almost noon and I wanted to get this over with because the closer it got to my appointment, the more nervous I became. It's hard to start over with a new doctor, I don't care how well received they are. Hiding my problems help me cope and I would have to bear all, in every way today which makes me almost physically sick.

I knocked on the door and Jasper opened it and motioned for me to go in.

"Hey, Bella. You ready to do some campus recon?" he asked as he ushered me to a computer chair. "Alice is dolling up and will be done shortly."

"That's cool," I said as we fell into a comfortable silence.

Alice came out of the bathroom, and I swear she emits as much energy as the sun.

"Ok, peeps. Let's go," she said as she grabbed Jasper's hand as we left for the tour.

The university is huge, but in a matter of an hour we had mapped out my buildings and the best routes to and from each class. Those two really knew their way around this place. I made note of the libraries and how close they were to me when I would need to kill time between classes. We went back to the dorm and Alice kissed Jasper as a goodbye so we could go finish getting me ready for the doctor appointment.

"I wanted to tell you that your outfit looks great," Alice said as we went to our room. "All we need to do is fix your hair and put on some makeup then we will be ready to go."

I sat down at the vanity, still not knowing exactly how and what I needed to do but Alice had it all covered. She went through the same routine as Rose had the night before but she added some brown eyeliner and a plum colored lip gloss. She then took my hair down and I saw that she had plugged in

curling iron. She made quick work of curling my hair softly around my face and pulled the sides into a twist at the crown of my head. After a few pins she declared me finished.

Once again, I was floored at what my two roomies could do! I almost looked pretty. The makeup was soft and subtle.

"You and Rose are the best friends I have ever had. Thanks for helping me out today. The doctor, especially a new one, makes me a nervous wreck. I would have never been able to concentrate on making myself up," I said. We exchanged a hug and Alice grabbed my right hand.

"We need to go in case traffic gets wild, Bella. Are you ready?" Alice asked as she began to dance us to the door.

"Ready as I am going to be, Alice," I responded as I grabbed my messenger bag and we exited our room.

We made our way to student parking and I heard "tweet tweet" as we neared a yellow sports car. Alice ran around to the drivers' side and I climbed in the other side.

"Wow. This is a great car, Alice," I mused. What a car for a college student!

"Oh, this was my graduation present. I always wanted a fast, sleek car and this one fit all my criteria," Alice gushed.

"Well, it's definitely you, Alice." I said as she gunned the motor and peeled out of the parking lot.

It was then that I remembered that I had forgotten my Xanax.

_**EPOV**_

I made my way to the office at one, after I went to a few hours of preliminary class since my actual classes start tomorrow. I was anxious but I felt like I was prepared for Ms. Swan at three. I had reviewed her file and made several notes for questions I had. Dr. Gernady had kept good notes, but there were still some information that I need to get to set up her file here at Seattle Memorial. Dad was meticulous in what and how he wanted things charted.

As I entered the dermatology practice, Lauren waved and tried to initiate a conversation but I just pointed to my watch and kept walking to Dad's office. Lauren stood and ran over to me anyhow.

"Edward, I just wanted to let you know that Isabella Swan called and she will be in at three," Lauren said breathlessly as she smoothed her straw-like hair down.

I guess I was acting like an ass.

"Thanks, Lauren. Send her to Maggie when she arrives. I will be helping fill out her new patient forms," I answered as I stepped further away from her and closer to Carlisle's office.

"No problem. I'll find you at my break and we can catch up, ok?" She asked as she made a move to grab my arm.

I just nodded as I walked away quickly and went to find Carlisle. I found him looking over some paperwork in his office.

"Good afternoon, Edward. Are you prepared to see patients today?" Dad asked as he closed the file he was reading over.

"I'm ready, Dad. I have reviewed my three o'clock, Ms. Isabella Swan. Per the documentation she has not seen a doctor in almost a year and as you said she'll need labs and a full exam before a new script for Enbrel can be given. I have several questions that are not answered in the charting, such as if she has had testing for psoriatic arthritis, but I feel like I have what I need to get started," I said as I looked through her files.

"I have full confidence in your ability, son," Carlisle said. "Bring her labs to me when you get them back and we will review any med changes needed or write her new scripts. She will need to take her injections here unless she has a dorm fridge to store the meds in."

"Ok, Dad. I'm going to go down to the charting room and get things ready with Maggie. Ms. Swan should be here in about an hour."

_**BPOV**_

If Alice doesn't find a career in design, there will always be NASCAR looking for the next new driver. Good lord! We arrived to Seattle Memorial in less time than I would have ever imagined and I had no idea how we got there because my eyes were closed the whole time from fear and the G-force.

Alice sprang from the vehicle as I got out on shaky legs.

"Its 2:45. I'm going to walk you in and then head over to Bed, Bath and Beyond to look for our new bedding. I will be back by 5 but just call if you get out earlier," Alice said as she took my hand and we walked through the door.

After a short ride up the elevator we exited on the 5th floor that was solely the dermatology suite. Alice walked me to the glass doors and said, "This is it, Bella. Just go to the desk and Lauren will get you set. If you see a tall, good looking doctor in his forties, that's my dad. Tell him hi and I'll call him later!"

I waved goodbye and took a deep breath.

"Welcome to the Dermatology Institute. Are you Isabella?" a pretty blonde asked from behind the desk.

"Yes, that's me," I said as my nerves began to get to me. I didn't want Alice to hold my hand but I wish I had asked her to come in with me.

"I'm Lauren. Have a seat and I will let them know you're here," she said, so I took a seat in the nearest chair to try and gather my nerves back in since I was the only one there.

A few minutes later a nurse came to the doorway and as I met her eyes she gave me a smile.

"Isabella? My name is Maggie. Please come with me and we will get you ready for your visit. Dr. Stewart or Dr. Cullen will be managing your case; however, you'll be seeing a med school student today for the preliminaries."

I rose from my seat and followed behind her on weak legs. This is what I always dread. Undressing, questions, scrutiny. And with a med school student! I'd still have to do this all over again when I met the real doc. We stopped at the scales and she took down my weight and height; five foot three and one hundred twenty pounds. Maggie took my blood pressure, pulse (which was racing, I'm sure) and temperature before she led me to the exam room.

"Ok, Bella. Today, Edward will be doing a full exam with a lab draw so I will need you to undress and put on this gown with the back left open. He'll be in here shortly. Any questions I can answer for you?" Maggie said as she finished her charting.

"No. I'm okay. Thank you, Maggie," I squeaked out. I knew I could request the doctor, and not the med school student, but with me car-pooling with Alice, I didn't want to put her later than she had agreed to.

Damn my shitty luck.

Maggie closed the door and I started to disrobe for the dreaded exam. I hope this student is as nice because I feel like I could throw up. Why, oh why, did I forget my anxiety meds today of all days? I put on the classic hospital gown and took off my shoes and socks before I climbed onto the exam table.

After a few minutes there was a small knock on the door. My breath caught in my throat. Holy shit!

"Isabella? It's nice to meet you. My name is Edward. I'm a med school student here in Seattle, specializing in dermatology. Oh, I'm also the eldest son of Dr. Carlisle Cullen," the man said as he held out his hand to me.

What the actual hell?

Oh, dear God. This is not just any med school student. This man is Alice and Emmett's brother and the SON of Dr. Cullen! He has to be the most gorgeous man I have ever seen; tall and lean, with a head full of auburn colored hair that was standing out all over his head but in a sexy bed-head look, and the most piercing emerald green eyes that looked like they could see clear to your soul. Like that even matters, Swan. I shook my head and stammered a reply.

"Uh, yeah, that's me, but I like to, uh, be called Bella," I said as I slowly raised my hand to shake his outstretched one. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate but as our hands touched it felt like I had grabbed a live electrical wire. Damn!

Edward looked at our hands and we both jerked our hand away from the other. I must have drug my feet on the way here to cause that much static. Now he probably thinks I am a real idiot. He cleared his throat and looked back to my face.

"If you are ready, I have a few questions for you and then we will start the physical exam," Edward said with a tight smile as he sat down on a stool and rolled it over by the bed.

I know I must look like the biggest fool, drooling over this man. I mean, a guy like that must have a girlfriend, fiancée or hell, he probably has a wife and two-point-one kids. On this I had no idea since Alice hadn't really talked much about this brother. I haven't even talked to a guy unless you count Dad, Phil, Emmett and Jasper, since I was a young teen so I had no point of reference for these sudden feelings. Guys never looked twice at me but why would they? I'm just damaged, plain Bella Swan. Never to be loved.

**AN: Well? I know the build up to the actual meeting went longer than I planned, but I wanted to lay out the factors leading to "The Meeting". Anyone else want to hunt down that fool, Tanya? I would…and I would hyperventilate too if HE walked in on me. Wonder what EC thinks about his new patient? And sorry about the cliffie…this chapter wore me out, LOL, but I have the next couple ready to type so hopefully they will be up in the next few days. Let me know what you think and thanks for the support! You all rock my world. ~T**


	8. Chapter 8

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Still don't own Edward. Dammit.

**A/N: So, I left the kids in limbo last chapter. Just finished watching Twilight for the millionth time (ha ha but no lie) so I'm in the mood to write. Hope I get the chemistry that's in my head on the page. This will be all EPOV. Thanks again to all the folks reading this story so far. It's fascinating to me! ;) RE-worked: 6/27/2014**

_**EPOV**_

I saw Maggie grab the Swan file and make her way to the waiting room so I knew Ms. Swan had arrived. I knew that Maggie had to get the basic procedural information of height, weight and temp so I made one last stop in the washroom to clean my hands. Remembering all the things I had learned in school about bedside manner and all Carlisle had taught me about being "compassionate but professional" I gave myself a nod in the mirror before I made my way to the examination room.

Alright, Cullen. It's show time.

"Edward, I have the Miss Swan's chart in the slot on the door and have I instructed the patient to disrobe and dress in a gown for the exam but she will be leaving on her panties. The Enbrel injection is on the counter by the sink, as well as the syringes and tubes for the lab draws. Just letting you know she appears to be extremely nervous. Give her a few more minutes and then you should be good to go," Maggie said as she patted my shoulder. "You're gonna be fine, kiddo. Go dazzle Miss Swan."

Maggie had been my Dad's nurse for at least 15 years so I have known her most of my life. She knew just what I needed to hear.

"Thanks, Maggie. I'll let you know if I need you."

I made my way to the exam room, counted backwards from ten and knocked softly. When I didn't hear any protesting I entered the room.

"Isabella? It's nice to meet you. My name is Edward. I'm a med school student here in Seattle, specializing in dermatology. Oh, I'm also the eldest son of Dr. Carlisle Cullen," I said as I stuck out my hand to her.

When I looked up to her face I was met with the deepest, most intuitive, chocolate brown eyes I had ever seen. Soulful and intelligent, but I could sense pain as well in their depths. Before me sat a beautiful young woman, with soft features and a head full of chestnut hair that curled softly around her heart-shaped face. What I saw was simply a natural beauty saddled with a horrible and incurable disease.

"Uh, yeah, that's me, but I like to, uh, be called Bella," rang out a voice so quiet that I had to strain my ears to make out all the words. She raised her hand to meet mine and I enclosed her fragile hand in my large one.

When we touched I was immediately hit with a jolt that felt like a lightning strike had gone straight through my body. What the hell was that? I need to remember to make sure to wear my anti-static tennis shoes next time. This tile must have caused the shock. I felt the need to say something in apology since her breathing had gone slightly erratic and she already seemed to be trying to calm herself from the nerves of the visit. I was a little thrown myself so I just went into professional mode.

"If you're ready, I have a few questions for you and then we'll start the physical exam," I stated as I tried to smile at her but I knew that it was tight and probably not helping calm her down but I was still recovering from whatever just happened myself.

I sat down on a rolling stool and rolled over to the bed.

"I'm ready," said the timid voice as she lowered her eyes and looked at the floor. I noticed she was pulling at the sleeves of the large gown so I thought she might be cold.

"Are you chilled? I'm sorry, Bella. I can get you a blanket to wrap in until the exam."

"Thanks. I would appreciate one, please," she replied.

I rolled over to the cabinet and took out a blanket and handed it to her. She still didn't meet my eyes as she took the blanket and wrapped it around her small frame.

"I see that you were diagnosed with plaque psoriasis when you were fourteen. The chart we received states that since that time you have been on methotrexate, cyclosporine, prednisone, several topical ointments and most recently on Enbrel injections and Xanax for your nerves. Does that sound accurate?"

"Yes. That sounds right, Dr. Cullen."

"Please call me Edward, ok? Although I am fellowshipping as a doctor, I haven't graduated med school yet, so my Dad. Carlisle will hold that title here," I replied lightly.

"Alright, Edward."

"Much better. I see that you inject the Enbrel weekly subcutaneously?" I questioned as I made notes in the file.

"Well, I did before I came here. I administered the shot in my abdomen. I don't have anywhere to keep them refrigerated so I'm not sure what to do now. I'm a student at the University."

"If your labs come back okay, I'll set you up to come in and inject here each week. There will be no charge for a visit since you can inject yourself. Maggie will set up a time and have it ready when you arrive. What about the Xanax? It looks like you have been on the anxiety meds for a few years. Can you tell me why?" I asked, curious to why a twenty-one year old would need anxiety meds.

"Um, I guess I have some issues with my nerves," Bella said as she began clutching the blanket tighter around herself.

"Can you elaborate? I want to make sure we have all the information we can since you are so young and Xanax is a powerful medication to take on a regular basis."

"I know that, Edward! I hate it! Okay? I'm already a freak enough. I have panic attacks and very low self- esteem, I guess. I get stressed and sometimes it makes the psoriasis flare up so I try to take one a day but I forgot one before I came here. I'm not normally such a baby," she said forcefully, her breathing labored and I noticed the fire in her eyes as well as the moisture welling up in them as she met my startled stare.

Oh shit, I'd upset her and made her cry. Get a grip, Cullen. Be compassionate.

"It's okay Bella. I'm not judging you and I apologize if I upset you. Please don't cry," I said as my heart broke for this fragile girl in front of me. "Deep breaths, in and out. That's it. Good job."

Her breathing settled back into a normal respiratory rate, and she seems to calm substantially.

"I'm sorry I lashed out," she replied defeated. "It's just really hard for me to talk about how messed up I am."

"That's understandable, and certainly not a problem for me. I want you to be able to talk to me honestly though, Bella. That's what I'm here for. So you have panic attacks. That's what you almost had just now. When did they start? Do the meds help?" I asked.

She sat quietly for a few minutes and met my eyes with those deep brown ones again.

"I guess I should tell you that I know your sister, Alice and Emmett too. She's my roommate, along with Rose. I've met Jasper too. Alice has been a godsend with helping me cope. So has Rose but I feel like Alice is my best friend. I haven't had many, scratch that...any friends in a long time. The kids in high school were pretty cruel about my psoriasis. They didn't understand what it was that I had and thought I got psoriasis from being unclean or that it was contagious. The boys made crude jokes about me and the girls spread horrible rumors. I guess I just shut down and went through the motions. By the time I went to college, the damage was done. That's when Dr. Gernady suggested that I try the Xanax. I've been on it ever since then and yes it seems to help."

I was temporarily floored that she knew Alice and Emmett. I mean, UDub isn't a small campus so the odds of her rooming with Alice were slim to none. I knew Alice wouldn't be mean to Bella. It just wasn't in her nature. Rose can be, well, not one you'd want on your bad side, but when she likes someone it usually sticks, and the guys would follow their girl's lead. I was going to have to call Alice soon, but patient confidentiality would keep me from discussing Bella. I would need to talk to Dad about this development. Mostly though, I was angry at the ones that had caused this young woman to miss out on some of the best years in her life. Pissed off would be a better phrase.

"I had no idea that you knew my family, Bella. I guess I need to talk to my siblings more often," I chuckled trying to cover my anger because I wouldn't want her to think it was directed toward her in any way. "I think the Xanax is doing what you need right now so I don't see changing meds would benefit you right now. We'll just keep a check on it."

"Ok, and be sure to call Alice soon. I know she'd like that," Bella replied with a small smile.

She was so pretty when she finally smiled. Her eyes sparkled. I hated to have to dampen the mood but I had the information I needed and it was time for the physical exam.

"I have your basic history down so if you're ready we will start the physical examination," I said, as I stood and went to wash my hands. "I can get Maggie if you'd be more comfortable."

I could see out of the corner of my eye that this it was not going to be easy for her to have me see her body. Not only was I new to her, I was also her best friend's brother. How much more awkward could things go for her? I knew I needed to keep on talking to her, to try to keep her calm. As I made my way back over to the table, I saw the blanket was clutched tightly around her and she was hiding her face behind a curtain of her hair.

"No, it's okay. I don't want to be a bother, it's just, I feel funny about you … seeing me … um, like this. Like an invalid."

I couldn't imagine how she felt. My sibling's and I had always been healthy, and we were raised as a doctor's child. We probably saw a lot of people in our lives that were or had been patients here. But never someone who was intermingled with my family like Bella was.

"Bella, I want to make clear that anything said or seen in this office is confidential. I would never speak to Alice or Emmett or anyone about your medical conditions at all. Carlisle and Dr. Stewart are the managing physicians here and we will all treat you with the utmost respect and professionalism, okay? I promise you that."

Bella didn't make a noise as she lowered the blanket from her shoulders. She managed to take several deep breaths and closed her eyes.

"Ok. I want you to try and relax. I'm going to look at your arms, legs and back in that order. Then I will need to undo the gown and examine your chest and abdomen. We will move as slowly as you need and I will tell you before I do anything, ok? If it gets to be too much, we will stop and regroup."

She nodded in understanding so I moved to her side and picked up her right arm. I could feel her tremble beneath my touch as she kept her head trained toward the floor. I gently lifted her arm from

her side and began to make mental notes. She had several nickel sized plaques on her forearms just above the wrist and the rough areas on her elbows common to psoriasis sufferers.

"Very good," I said soothingly. "I'm going to move around and check the other arm."

The left arm examines much the same as the right, as psoriasis tends to be mirrored on the opposite sides of the body.

"You're doing great, Bella. I'm going to look at your legs now so I'm going to sit on the stool alright?"

She didn't answer again but she gave a brief nod again so I continued on.

Bella had little coverage on her lower legs, with just a few quarter sized areas and rough areas on both knees. However, I was going to need to raise the gown to see her thigh area.

"Bella, I'm going to need to raise the hem of the gown toward your waist to see your upper legs and thighs. I'll make sure your middle stays covered," I said.

"Ok," she replied.

I slowly raised the gown to her waist, careful to maintain all modesty that I could. As I suspected there were a few more plaques on both thighs and I could see the telltale signs of pale white spots on her translucent skin of psoriasis that had responded to treatment. Such lovely skin marred by a disease without a cure.

"Excellent. I'm going to untie your gown and look at your back now. Is that alright?" I asked as I stood from my seat.

"I understand what you need to do, Edward, but it doesn't make this any easier for me. Just do it."

I went to her side and reached to move her long hair around to the front of her shoulders and untied her gown. She shuddered and closed her eyes as the air wafted around her. What was that smell? Definitely the aroma of intoxicating strawberries and something else … maybe essence of Bella as well? I don't know but I liked it. Too well. I quickly moved around to the back of the bed. I don't think sticking my nose in my patient's hair would be considered professional in any venue, and neither would a raging hard on during an exam. What the hell, Cullen?

I slid the gown over her shoulders to reveal her back to me, keeping the front covered. Bella raised a hand to hold it in place. I could see the downward slump of her shoulders and the quick breaths she was taking in as her slim back moved with the rhythm. I could also see her tiny waist and the pale pink underwear covering her bottom. Why am I suddenly having thoughts of that ass naked? DUDE!

"Bella, you have a few areas of concern on your shoulder blades and lower back. I will talk to Carlisle and have him order you a steroid cream that I want you to apply several times a day and let's see if we can help clear this up," I conveyed as I tried to keep my thoughts on the level.

"Uh, Edward. I can't put cream on my back. I could never ask Alice or Rose. That would be the death of me," Bella stated as she clutched the gown tighter.

"Yes, I can see that being a problem. When I talk to Carlisle I will see what he recommends. I'm done with your back. Are there any areas on your buttocks or your privates that I need to look at?"

I had never seen someone blush as deeply as Bella did when I asked her that question. She seemed so shy and vulnerable with the redness covering her cheeks, and going down her neck as she quickly shook her head from side to side.

"Um, no. I'm ok down there."

"Alright then I need to have you let go of the gown and we will let it down to your waist so I can finish the exam."

Bella slowly lowered the gown with my assistance as she kept her eyes screwed shut. Oh dear Lord, thank you for allowing me to wear scrubs that are loose. 'Big Ed' was appreciating the view.

Now, mind you. I have been through 4 years of college, in mostly medical classes and I was in my second year of Med School. I have seen nude women in my course of studies. That is part of the job. I was prepared for this line of work. But I haven't seen one in the intimate way since Tanya turned me off of relationships and dating in general.

God help me.

Before me was the most enticing woman with a graceful neck flowing down into shapely shoulders. Bella had pert, round breasts that were dusky and pink and a flat stomach that ended in the pile of gown at her waist. I didn't see the psoriasis. All I saw was hot-blooded woman, and I liked what I saw. I shook my head and cleared my throat.

"Um, ok. I see an area of concern around your navel," I made known as I reached out and touched the soft skin of her abdomen. "Now I need to examine under your breasts for skin breakdown so I will need you to lie back."

Bella blushed again as she laid back on the table. I could feel the anxiety in the air.

When she got situated, I placed my hand on her breast to lift it, and the nipple immediately became hard. It wasn't the only thing hard in that room. I pushed that aside and gently examined the area beneath and repeated the same on the opposite side and saw that she was luckily free from any skin breakdown.

"That all checks out well, Bella. Inverse psoriasis has the tendency to develop in areas that receive little or no air flow, like the underside of the breast and in the groin. I'm not going to check your groin area today, if you're sure that you are ok in that area, but please let me know if that changes. You need to stay aware of any changes in your body, Bella. Things like birth control and alcohol can have a negative effect on psoriasis."

I grabbed the gown and placed it back across her body.

"I take the Depo shots to regulate my hormones," Bella said as she averted my eyes. "I can stop it, though since I have no other reason to be on it. Oh, and I have never drank any alcohol. No social life and all that."

"I don't believe that stopping the shots is necessary, Bella, since you seem to be handling the extra hormones without complications. I do want to stress that you see a gynecologist on a yearly basis. I can have Carlisle recommend one for you, if you'd like. Now, I need to draw a few labs to check your liver and also to check for psoriatic arthritis markers in your blood then we'll be all finished. I'll step out and let you get dressed. Just crack the door when you're ready."

"Thank you, Edward. I won't be but a few minutes."

I nodded in accession and quickly exited the room headed for the nearest men's room.

"All done?" Maggie asked as I breezed past.

"Uh, no. She's getting dressed and I still need to draw the labs. I'm just going to run to the bathroom while I wait," I said as I kept my body turned away from her.

"Want me to draw the labs, Edward? You seem jittery."

"No, I've got it. Thanks though, Maggie."

I made it to the end of the hall and bolted into the one stall men's room and locked the door. I braced myself on the sink as I looked up into the mirror while taking a deep, shuddering breath. What I saw shocked me. My eyes were narrowed and my cheeks were flushed. I had a thin sheen of sweat on my forehead and my cock was standing at almost full salute. I needed to think of something fast. Emmett in a lace thong … Mom and Dad doing the horizontal tango … Queen Elizabeth in a bikini. Whew! That did the trick and Big Ed retreated to safety. I splashed some water on my face and flushed the toilet, for appearances and exited the bathroom. When I made my way to the room, the door was slightly open so I knocked and entered. Bella bare was erotic, but dressed she was a vision. The blue of her top made her peaches and cream complexion so beautiful. She looked much more confident covered up.

"Alright, I need to pull three vials of blood for the tests we need to run. When we get the lab results in a few days, someone will call you if there is anything we find that requires a med change, but I know that as long as your current regimen is working to your satisfaction, then we'll not change it unless it can't be prevented."

Bella rolled up a sleeve and I put on a pair of gloves. I checked her veins and found one to draw from as I cleaned the site with alcohol.

"You're going to feel a small stick and then it should be over in a few seconds," I said as I picked up the syringe. "I'll stick after the count of three. One … two ... three."

The blood draw went smoothly and luckily she didn't appear to be squeamish at the sight of blood.

"Ok, you're free to go. Someone will call you when we have your new scripts. It was a pleasure to meet you, Bella Swan. Give my love to Alice and Emmett and tell them I'll call them soon," I declared as I placed my hand on the small of her back and led her out to the lobby.

"Well, Edward, you can say hi yourself if you'd like. Alice is picking me up in fifteen minutes."

Hot damn, I have a few more minutes with Bella.

"Awesome. How about I take you to meet the real Dr. Cullen, and I'll have Lauren send Alice to his office when she gets here."

"Sure. I just need to pay my deductible."

I followed Bella over to the registration desk and gave Lauren the information about Alice as Bella settled her bill. Lauren looked at me with a pout and narrowed her eyes slightly at Bella when she handed her the receipt.

Oh, hell no, skank. That shit isn't happening here.

"Ok, I'm ready, as not going to get you behind on work or anything," Bella said as she stood where I had left her.

"No, I will be here awhile anyhow finishing up your charting so fifteen minutes will not ruin my afternoon at all. Come on," I replied as I shot Lauren a 'go to hell' look. I'd address the issue when Bella wasn't around. She had enough to worry about.

God, I wanted to get to know more about Bella Swan. Not clinically, personally. To hell with psoriasis. It's not like I was repulsed by Bella's skin whatsoever. In truth, I hadn't felt this way in such a long time it was scaring the shit out of me. How can I be on her medical team when I'm feeling like I want more? What about Alice? She would freak out and kick me in the nuts if things didn't work out. Em would probably beat my ass too, even though he insists I must be gay for not being with a woman in years. Mom would be ecstatic though, and Dad just wants us all to be happy. What about Bella though? Why would I assume that she'd feel the same about me? What if she doesn't? Could I open myself up for heartbreak and distrust again? I wasn't sure so I thought it best to just take things slow and try to become her friend first. That shouldn't be hard with Alice in the picture. I would have to talk to Alice alone to feel her out on the best way to approach this situation with Bella.

Carlisle was in his office when we got there. I knocked and he looked up and smiled.

"Ms. Swan, I presume. I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Thanks, Dr. Cullen. Alice is my roommate and she's picking me up at five so Edward is showing me around the office till she arrives."

"Well, what a small world," Carlisle declared as he looked over to me and winked. Winked! "I am sure she hasn't lost any energy keeping you entertained. Please call me Carlisle. You are practically family now."

My Bella blushed again. So lovely. Wait, my Bella?

"Alice is great. Emmett is too. Your family has been very nice to me, including Edward. I don't make friends real easily," Bella said shyly.

"It's good to hear that my kids know how to treat people, Bella. Their mother and I better not ever hear otherwise."

Bella laughed out loud and it was music to my ears. I'm sure I looked like a love-struck teenage boy but she was having that effect on me. I smiled from ear to ear.

"Well, Daddy, I knew I loved Bella from the minute we met! Hiya, Edward. I see you've met my roommate, Bella," Alice said from the doorway as we all looked to her.

"Hey, little sis. Good to see you," I said as I went to give her a hug. We have always been close but school and commitments had kept us apart lately.

"You too, big bro. I had no idea you were working here or I would have given Bella the heads up."

"Today is the first day of my fellowship. Bella just happened to be my first patient," I said as I smiled at Bella.

"He was very professional too, Alice. Dr. Cullen, err, Carlisle, I was a nervous wreck and I forgot my anxiety meds, but he kept me from wigging out."

"You were a model patient, Bella. Don't ever be embarrassed about yourself around me. I want you to trust me. Ok?"

I did want her to trust me. I knew that we both needed to trust the other, however things turned out.

"I do, Edward."

"While I have you both here, your mother wants to have a meal next Sunday afternoon for all three of you kids, Jasper, Rose, and that includes you as well, Bella. Can you guys make it around noon?" Carlisle said.

"Sounds good," Alice and I both answered.

"I have no plans so I can come with Alice," Bella said.

Or you could come with me!

_What the fuck, Cullen! Horn-dog much_

"Excellent! Esme will be thrilled. Thank you, kids, for making her day."

"We need to jet, Bella. We start classes tomorrow and I have a lot of prep work to do. Love you, Daddy. Kiss Mom for me. Later, Edward. Don't be a stranger!" Alice said as she grabbed Bella's hand and whisked her out the door rambling about matching sheet sets and throw pillows.

"Good bye, Alice. And it was great to meet you, Bella," I yelled as they disappeared out of sight.

I walked out of Dad's office and went to the lab area that was my makeshift office to make my notes in Bella's file. I had gathered much information and today I had a good grasp on her current disease process.

Bella.

Her face, her eyes, her naked breasts, her laugh and that blush stayed on my mind all evening. I dropped my head in my hands, bone tired when I finally finished for the night. Everyone was already gone but Carlisle so I said my goodbye to him and headed to the elevator to ride down to the doctor's lot to head home where there was a beer or five with my name on it. There was also a shower and a right hand with Big Ed's name on it.

What am I going to do now? I am totally fucked.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**A/N: So, the visit is over and Edward is all in a tizzy. Big Ed wants to play for the first time in about 4 years. Lol! What about Bella? Was it all a medical professional versus patient transaction for her as opposed to Edward? And will Bella be able to let Edward in to her life outside of the doctor's office? What will happen next? Stay tuned! I have the next chapter outlined so it should be to my betas by the weekend. Reviews are the best! Let me know how I'm doing so far. HUGS! T**


	9. Chapter 9

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 9

I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to borrow them for my own personal enjoyment.

**Good evening everyone! I just saw "A Thousand Years" video from Christina Perri…AWESOME! I love this song. Check it out on YouTube if you haven't already. It's on the Breaking Dawn soundtrack, I think. **

**Anyhow, we left off with Edward having quite an unplanned reaction to Bella. This chapter will brush back over the last chapter with BPOV but will also have multiple POV's before it's over. **

_**BPOV**_

Why can't someone create a long-sleeved hospital gown? I mean, this one swallows me whole, but the sleeves still won't pull down to cover my arms. I know that sounds pathetic when this man is going to see all of me anyway, but I have spent the last seven years hiding my skin. Being revealed like this makes me feel vulnerable.

It seemed that I had no reason to worry though. Edward was gentle and professional. I did lose it once when he asked me about my Xanax usage but it was my fault entirely for not taking one of those particular pills before I had my appointment. Maybe he didn't take my rant too personally.

The feelings I was having inside were the most distressing though. Those green eyes were mesmerizing, so much so I couldn't look him in the eye. So, I avoided them at all cost. This man is truly beautiful and totally unattainable. Damn my betraying nipples and this tingling in my gut.

Ok, I'm not naïve to the things of the world, but I have zero experience with the opposite sex and I had just recently been able to be _around_ guys period. It's not that I hadn't had moments of weakness and self indulgence…I'm human. I knew for certain, though that any fleeting feelings I was having would be one-sided so it's best to just let it go anyway.

When the appointment was over, Edward chose to walk me out to the lobby. He mentioned passing his hello's to Alice and Emmet and I was grasping for a few more minutes of my blissful fantasy, so I told him that she was my ride and would arrive in a few minutes. He took me to meet his Dad while we waited.

When Alice arrived I saw the love for each other on the three Cullen faces and then she and Edward hugged. How nice it must be to be loved like that.

I really liked Dr. Cullen or Carlisle as I had been asked to call him. He invited me to the Cullen family dinner on Sunday, I'm sure so I wouldn't feel left out, but still it was nice to be asked. I haven't had what would be considered a real family dinner since my parent's divorce all those years ago so the sheer idea of a family all being under one roof at the same time was foreign to me. I just hoped that Mrs. Cullen would be alright with an extra mouth at the table and that I didn't cause any havoc in what I am sure is a pristine home with my clumsiness.

After a few minutes, Alice announced that we should go so we went on our way, with Alice talking nonstop about comforters and throw pillows to match. I thought I heard Edward yell out a "goodbye" to me but I'm sure I was dreaming that. We had a doctor-patient relationship, at best. A girl can dream though, right?

Alice sped home like there was a vampire on our tail. I don't think I'll ever get used to her driving. When we arrived she called for Rose, Jasper and Emmet to come down and help her unload her purchases from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I was about to tell her that we could get it all ourselves till she popped open that trunk. I'm sure someone is online reordering merchandise since it appeared Alice had most of their stock in her possession.

"Now, Bella. Just chill out. I saw all this coordinating bedding for you, Rose and myself. I have the money to cover it so it's all good," Alice said as she put her hand under my chin to shut my gaping mouth.

"Alice, you don't need to keep spending money on me. I mean, I have a little saved so I can pay for things if you'll let me," I whined. I felt like I already owed her thousands of dollars.

"We will have none of that, Bella. Now listen. I don't talk about this much, because it wasn't how I was taught at home, but I have money, Emmet and Edward as well. I got part of a trust fund when I turned eighteen and more at twenty-one. These purchases don't even put a dent into it. I _want _to do this for you. Not to make you feel indebted but because it makes ME feel good to put a smile on your face."

I felt the tears rolling down my face. I had no words.

"Bella Boo! What's shakin'?" Emmet bellowed out as he came across the parking lot. "Hey, why are you crying?"

"Nothing's wrong, Emmet. Just a long day, I guess," was my brilliant response.

"Bella, how did your appointment go? I missed you this morning," Rose asked as she grabbed some bags from Alice's car.

"It went fine, I guess. Edward was my doctor but I met Carlisle too."

"Eddie-boy was your doctor? Well, that's something!" Emmet said as he let out a chuckle and loaded his arms with pillows. "He'd better have been nice to you or I will pulverize his ass."

"EMMET!" Rose scolded, "You have the ability to say some of the dumbest things. I'm sure Edward was a professional."

"Yes, he was, Emmet. No need to hurt him, ok?" I said lightly. I knew Emmet was kidding but I didn't want to take any chances.

"That's great for Edward," Jasper said as he grabbed more bags. "He's wanted to be a doctor for a long time and he's always been top of his class. I'm glad for him to finally be seeing patients. And I'm glad your appointment went well, Bella."

"Yeah, I can't get my weekly injection till my labs come back so hopefully that will happen this week."

"Ok, people, enough chit-chat. We have a room to decorate so let's get to it. Chop chop!" Alice commanded so we all fell in line and did as she asked.

Several hours later we had transformed our drab dorm into something that would have been on a magazine cover. Alice had bought coordinating but not matching bedding and accessories in a brown and light pink. Girly but not obnoxiously so. I assumed that it was planned when I was given pale pink sheets and a pink comforter with brown piping and accents. Psoriasis and dark colors don't mix well because of all the flaky skin. Rose's bedding was the exact opposite of mine with the pinks and browns reversed and Alice had a set that was a perfect mixture of both colors. She really knew her stuff!

Rose and Emmet said they were going to go grab a bite to eat, but we all knew they were needing some alone time so they left as soon as we were through decorating. Jasper kissed Alice goodbye and said he was going to go shower and get to bed since he had a class at 7am. So, Alice and I set in for the night.

"So, Bella. Tell me, what did you really think about my brother?" Alice asked out of the blue.

"Huh?" I asked nervously.

"Edward. You know. Tall, auburn hair, crooked smile, green eyes…"

"Yes, I know who you mean just not what you are asking me. He was nice."

"Nice. That's good. Edward has a tendency to have a stick up his ass most of the time. I mean, I love him to pieces, but he's secluded himself the past few years. He seemed to like _you_ pretty well too, Bella."

"What? Um, I mean…Alice, he was my DOCTOR today. He was nice because he had to be."

I was getting nervous and upset because I could feel already how the conversation was shifting. I went over to my dresser and took out one of my anxiety meds and swallowed it dry.

"Bella, I told you before that you don't see yourself the way I do. The way we all do! I see a beautiful young woman with so much to give! You need to stop hiding yourself. I think you and Edward would be a great couple. I mean, he's seen you naked already…"

"Alice. Just stop. Now," I said as I grabbed my night clothes from the dresser and glared at her. "Your brother could have anyone he wanted so he'd never want me. Why in the hell would he? I'm damaged, inside and out. You don't understand because you can't understand. You are perky, and pretty and lovable. Jasper is in love with you! I will never have that. Not with anyone and especially not with someone like Edward! Please just drop it!"

I slammed the bathroom door behind me and began to sob. I looked at myself in the mirror and all I could see the makeup running down my face. I started the shower and got in as I sat in the corner letting the hot water scald my skin. Why was it so hard for her to see? I could see it in all the plaques, scars and flaky skin. That would be all I'd ever be able to see.

_**APOV**_

I watched her retreating form as she slammed the bathroom door shut. Just as I had suspected, she liked Edward. It was plain as the nose on my face. I hated to be so forceful with her about my feelings but she won't give herself a chance and it was breaking my heart. I wiped the tears out of my eyes and looked out the window into the darkness.

When I arrived at the Dad's office earlier I watched unnoticed from the hallway as Dad spoke to Bella, not wanting to interrupt. I didn't know Edward was fellowshipping at the practice, so yes I was surprised to see him there. But we hadn't talked in weeks so I had no reason to know. What I noticed immediately was that Edward's eyes stayed on Bella the whole time and he had a huge smile on his face. He hasn't looked like that since that bitch Tanya almost destroyed him after his freshman year at U Dub.

Bella seemed so relaxed and I did catch her cutting her eyes over to Edward several times when she thought he wasn't looking. When I made myself known I went to Edward and gave him a huge hug. I could see the ease on his face and it made me smile.

Dad being the man he is, made sure to invite Bella to the house for Sunday dinner and I saw Edward's eyes light up when she agreed to go. That boy I can read like a book. He's feeling something for Bella, I just know it. I knew then and there that I was going to get those two lost souls together.

Bella, however, was going to be more difficult. She feels she's unworthy of anyone's affection or attention. I would love to stick my foot with my five inch Jimmy Choo heels up the collective asses of those kids that ruined her self-esteem. But I digress for now.

Some way, somehow I can feel that this is going to work out and those two will never see it coming.

_**BPOV**_

After my pity party was done and the shower ran cold, I dried off and went through my night time routine to get ready for bed. I needed to apologize to Alice. I know she was only trying to help. I opened the door slowly and saw Alice sitting on her bed staring out the window.

"Alice?" I said as I went to sit beside her. "I'm really sorry for jumping down your throat like I did earlier. It was out of line. I know you're just trying to help."

She turned to me and wrapped her little arms around me.

"Oh, Bella. I'm sorry too. Sometimes my mouth is bigger than the rest of me. But all I said was true. You just don't know it yet," Alice said.

"Well, I think I'm going to bed. Classes start early and I want to have a good night's rest. Thanks for everything Alice. You are the best friend I've ever had."

"Same back at ya, Bella. Good night."

Rose came in sometime later and I told her goodnight as she made her way to the shower. I rolled over and went to sleep dreaming of emerald green eyes that had captured my heart and soul.

_**EPOV**_

I had no idea how I got home but I realized I was there when I looked out the window into the parking garage. I unfolded from my car and slowly made my way to my apartment. I felt like I had been hit by a ton of bricks.

Bella Swan. She was in my mind and I couldn't shake it.

When I got home I dropped my keys on the table by the door and went to the fridge to grab an ice cold Bud Light. I fell onto the couch and took a long draw from the bottle. What the hell had happened to me today? I went from prepared doctor to a pervert that needed to jerk off in a bad way.

I finished my beer and made my way to my bedroom. I needed to clear my mind so I stripped down and started the shower as hot as I could stand. As the hot water streamed down my body I became lost in thought about deep brown eyes, perky tits and alabaster skin. My dick was up at attention in a matter of seconds. I groaned as I reached for my body wash and lathered up. As I made my way to my straining cock, I couldn't get Bella out of my mind. I grabbed my dick at the base and slowly stroked it from base to tip. I ran my thumb over the head and stroked back down again. My pace picked up and soon I was beating off as hard as I could to the visions in my head.

Bella. Bella naked on her knees in the shower with me. Water dripping from her eyelashes and hair. Bella stroking my cock while looking at me with those sexy eyes.

"OH FUUUCK. Shit, shit shit!" I yelled as the coil in my belly came unwound and I shot off a long, thick stream of cum into the drain of the shower.

I collapsed in a heap on the shower floor while I caught my breath. After several minutes, I got up on weak legs and rinsed off, totally exhausted. I got out of the shower and went headed straight to bed. Bella Swan was in my head and I didn't know how to get her out…or if I even wanted to.

**Well? Those two are in quite a mess. And poor Alice has her hands full. I think it's safe to say that Alice isn't going to back down from this. School starts for them all tomorrow and there's this dinner on Sunday…let me know what you think. I have loved all the reviews, alerts and faves. They keep me going! So if you can review, please do. Thanks! T**


	10. Chapter 10

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 10

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to borrow them for my own personal pleasure. **

**WOW. Thanks to you all for the nice reviews, alerts and favorites. I am honored to be able to share this story with you all since it means so much to me. October 29, 2011 was World Psoriasis Awareness Day so I hope you have a better understanding of the disease after reading this story. Thanks as always to my wonderful beta's, kare831 and twimom817 for believing in me and my story but mostly for making it look much better than I would alone. HUGS! And if you want a great read, check out their collaborated story _"What Fills the Eye Fills the Heart"_ and fall in love with Irishward like I have. *swoon***

**On with the story…in multiple POV's. **

_**BPOV**_

Thankfully rest came easy because I knew this day was going to be hard for me on several levels. First, I had to put myself out there among all these new faces which made me all kinds of nervous. Second, I KNEW Rose and Alice were not going to let me hide under a hooded sweatshirt and baggy pants while I was out of the dorms. And third, I still had a certain young doctor on my mind and even though I knew it was only fantasy, I couldn't make myself stop thinking about him. Gorgeous emerald green eyes, those plump, kissable lips and such long fingers…OH!

I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts I'd started having and sighed in relief to see that the bathroom was unoccupied so I crawled out of my bed and made my way over to the closet to get my clothes for the day.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty! We don't have a lot of time before classes, so hurry and get your shower so we can get you fixed up before we go grab breakfast with the guys," Alice chirped from her vanity table. "I've already set out your outfit for today so just grab your bra and panties."

I sighed but I was glad she had done that for me since I had no idea what to wear.

"Thanks, Alice," I replied as I grabbed the first matching underwear I saw and padded to the bathroom.

Since I had washed my hair the night before, I decided to skip that today for time-sake so I threw it up in a messy bun, stripped down and hopped into the shower. As I began to lather the body wash over my body my thoughts drifted back to Edward.

I closed my eyes as I began having vivid visions of his hands on me, massaging my breasts as he kissed down my neck. As my fantasy Edward tweaked my nipples, my own hands began mimicking his path. I found my own hands pulling and tugging at my sensitive nipples till they were taut and erect under my touch as I whispered his name.

'_Edward.'_

My breathing hitched as my dream Edward smiled against my neck and began rubbing small circles down my belly till his hand hovered just above my heat.

'_Bella…I need to feel you. Will you let me touch you?' he whispered in my ear as he nibbled on my lobe. _

'_Yesss. Touch me. Please, Edward,' I rasped. _

My hands lowered down my belly until my fingers came in contact with my wet folds. My breathing picked up and I jumped as my fingers traced circles around my clit. Fantasy Edward was already there.

'_God, Bella. Your pussy is so wet. Do I do that to you?' he asked as he began rubbing and flicking at my bundle of nerves, one long finger making lazy circles around my opening. _

'_No one else has ever made me feel this way, Edward. Only you,' I answered as he slowly inserted one finger, then two into my depths. I could feel his erection graze against my back as he stroked me. _

My fingers began pumping in and out of my wetness in double time to keep up with my fantasy.

'_You're so tight and hot, Bella. I can feel that you're close. Let go for me. I want to feel you cum on my fingers,' Edward moaned as he increased the speed and depth of his ministrations. Then he hit one particular spot…_

"Ed, Ed, Edwaaard. I'm cumming! Ung!" I said loudly as the buzzing sensation in my belly erupted into fireworks and I fell to my knees with the impact I felt. Never before had I had such a powerful orgasm. My breathing finally slowed as I came down from my high.

Then I remembered where I was. In the shower. In the dorm. With Edward's SISTER just outside of the door. Oh. My God.

I quickly shaved my legs, rinsed off and got out of the shower praying that Alice was preoccupied and had missed my embarrassing pornographic shower performance. After I brushed my teeth and applied my moisturizer, I put on my underwear and robe and went out to the room.

"Damn girl. I thought you'd drowned in there. I heard you talking and then yell out but I guess you couldn't hear me check on you over the shower," Alice said as she looked at me closely. I could feel the blush covering my face already.

"Uh, yeah, I'm ok. I was, uh, singing some old Bon Jovi song and slipped on the tile. Sorry I scared you."

"Bon Jovi, huh? Love them! What song?" Alice questioned as she ushered me to the vanity.

Shit! Think, Bella. Think!

"Livin' On A Prayer," I said quickly. "Mom was a teenager in the eighties so I grew up listening to her music."

"Great song. Now let's get you ready," Alice said as she began humming the chorus.

Whew, I dodged a bullet. Thank you, Alice for NOT paying attention to me for once.

I noticed that Rose was missing and I wondered if I'd run her off already.

"Where's Rose?"

"Oh, you know. She's attached to Emmet's dick, literally so she got up early and went up to his room to get ready since Jazz had to be at class at seven. I'm sure there will be shower sex and no telling what other debauchery. Three girls getting ready with one shower is going to be tricky at best but don't worry. It has nothing to do with you or me," Alice snorted as she began running a straightening iron over my hair.

Alice made me look nice, as usual and she went over to her bed to give me privacy to get ready. She had lain out a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, a green silk button down top, a tan blazer and a pair of tan boots. I quickly dressed and grabbed my things for the day.

After a trip to the cafeteria with Alice, Rose and Emmet, we split off to go to class. I was taking a full course load this semester with World Literature, English Lit, Critical Reading, along with a few elective courses. I made my way around and found that Angela was in two of my classes which made me relax since she was so sweet and easy going on my first day.

"So, are things going good for you, Bella?" Angela asked. "I meant to come see you but I knew Alice would make sure you knew your way around."

"I'm making a good transition, Angela. So far everyone I've met has been really nice."

"Well, I'm glad. There are a few people that suck balls around here but for the most part the people are good."

The day went well and I even stopped by the library after my last class and got some of my required reading material. I made the trek back to Pattison and changed into some lounge pants and a long sleeved T-shirt before Rose and Alice made it back. We spent the evening talking and laughing over pizza before bed.

The week passed by quickly with our busy schedules but we found time at night to hang with the guys and made plans to go out on Saturday night for some R&R.

On Saturday, Alice, Rose and I hung around the dorm doing homework and working on individual projects that we had to do. Around mid-afternoon, Emmet and Jazz joined us. Alice and Rose had been talking all day about various nightspots to hit and the guys said they didn't care since they just wanted a place to drink. There was also a Back to School party on campus that night but Alice wanted to 'get her groove on' so it was decided that we would party that night at Twilight.

Twilight was a hip hop club that had a DJ on Saturday nights and the crew told me it was the hottest nightclub in Seattle. I had never been out to a place like that so I just let them take the lead. The girls wanted to get to the club around eight so the guys left at six to get ready.

Alice and Rose chose to get ready first, as usual so they could take extra time to make sure I was dressed and made up to a tee. While they got ready I showered and brushed my teeth. I came out in my robe and sat on my bed brushing the tangles out of my hair. I had decided to bring out one of the more risqué panty sets so I was wearing an antique white lace thong and matching demi-cup bra. Neither covered much skin and was merely decoration in my mind.

"Bella, do you have an outfit planned already?" Rose asked as she finished her make up and hair. She looked stunning in her red halter dress and black stilettos.

"Um, no. I have no idea what I should wear," I said as I got up to look at my closet.

"Well, I think you should wear something blue with your hair and skin tone. Let's see what you have," Rose said as she came to look at my choices.

Alice flitted over from her closet with something hid behind her back. She was looking great in a black ensemble with five inch Jimmy Choo heels.

"When I went to the mall I found this top and it's perfect for you. Try it on along with the off white slacks in your closet and the heels in the box," Alice said as she handed me a hanger covered in plastic and thrust a box into my hands.

Inside was a beautiful sapphire blue top with a cowl neckline. The sleeves had tight cuffs and a fitted waist. Inside the box was a pair of matching blue pumps with a kitten heel.

"Oh, Alice. I love it!" I said as I ran to the bathroom to try on the outfit.

The outfit was perfect. I looked at myself in the mirror and was amazed at my reflection. Even without the hair and makeup I looked sophisticated and, well almost pretty. Who knew I could pull off a look like this? I went back to the girls and did a slow turn.

"What do ya'll think?" I asked as I made the full circle.

"You look great, Bella. I knew blue was your color." Rose smiled.

"Bella, she's right. You look f-i-n-e, FINE. Now we're going to do your hair in a half up-do and leave the rest curled around your shoulders. I have the perfect earrings and necklace to set the whole look off. You will be knocking the men away with sticks tonight!" Alice chattered as she put me in the chair and began her magic.

When she and Rose finished I didn't recognize the girl in the mirror. My makeup was done dark and sultry. The blue made my eyes look brighter and my skin almost glowed. And the girls were right…the lingerie did help me feel more confident. I made a quick check of my problem areas and nothing showed through the clothing. It was time to go so I grabbed my ID, debit card and cell and followed the girls out to Jasper's truck. We were off as soon as we could get loaded in the truck. Tonight I was determined to have a good time no matter what.

_**APOV**_

I watched Bella throughout the week as she slowly came out of her shell a little more each day. She was still far from being the confident woman that she should be, but I was seeing small improvements and I was so happy.

Rose and I had talked several times when Bella wasn't around about how we could help boost her self esteem. It was going to be hard since she really didn't have anything to build from. I also told her about my interaction with Bella and Edward on Monday. Rose agreed with me that they would make a sweet couple if we could only make Bella feel worthy of a guy's attention. She was smart and when she let her guard down, she was funny. The boys and we girls had hung out all week and she was beginning to not feel so uncomfortable around Jazz and Em. Of course I knew that neither would ever do anything intentionally to hurt her. They were both just good guys. But hanging with TWO couples as the odd man out was probably hard on her, even if she never verbalized or realized it.

I knew from what I had witnessed at Dad's office the other day that Bella was smitten with my brother, Edward and he with her. Both were hard headed so I knew that I would have to tread delicately if I was going to make this work out. I also knew that Tuesday morning Bella had a big "moment" in the shower (hey, the walls are thin…I'm not a perv) and I'd bet my fall wardrobe that the "moment" had Edward Anthony Cullen's name tattooed all over it.

So, I came up with a plan and enlisted Rose, Em, and Jazz to help me. There was a school party on Saturday but I knew that my plan wouldn't work there so I changed it up and asked the rest of our crew if they wanted to hit a club instead. The guys and Rose were all over that idea and Bella agreed to whatever we decided. So my plan went into action.

_**EPOV**_

The week went by in a blur after Monday. My school load was going to kick my ass this semester and the added patients at the dermatology practice was keeping me busy. I was fine with busy; it gave me less time to think.

But the nights alone starred a brown eyed beauty and all the things my body wanted to do to hers. I still couldn't get Bella completely out of my head but it was tolerable now and I still had some skin left on my cock to prove it.

So when I got a call on Friday night from Alice I was totally surprised.

"What's up, Pix?"

"Not much, big bro. How's school?"

"A bitch but that's what I signed up for so it's cool."

"Well, that's why I'm calling, dear brother. You need to get out and cut loose. I'm planning a night out on Saturday at Twilight with the guys. I'd love to spend some time with you and do some dancing. Will you come?"

"Twilight. Hmmm. I guess I could come for awhile. What time are you guys going?"

"How does nine sound?

"Sounds good, Alice. I'll see you there."

"Ok, Edward. See you then."

Man, a night out sounds great. It's been months since I've gone out and hung with my brother, sister, Rose and Jazz.

Saturday I worked on school papers and did some charting from my patients I'd seen during the week. Bella's labs had come in Friday so I was going to take her aside Sunday and let her know. I didn't want to bother her on a Saturday. I had already went by the office, with Carlisle's permission and gotten her an Enbrel injection so she could take it Sunday as well. With biologic meds, a skipped dose can cause a rebound flare and I knew Bella wouldn't want that.

When seven o'clock rolled around I ate a turkey sandwich, then took my shower and got ready for clubbing. I decided to wear a light blue button up, black leather jacket and a pair of dark wash jeans with my black Doc Martens. My hair was its usual mess so I tamed it as best as I could, sprayed on some cologne and headed out for the night.

I rolled up at Twilight at nine on the dot. I parked my car and as I was walking in I spotted Jasper's Chevy truck in the lot so I knew they were already inside. The line was long since this was a popular spot to hang out but soon I was inside. It didn't take long for me to spot Em and Rose grinding on the dance floor. I swear that if public sex was legal, they'd be the poster children.

I made my way to the bar and grabbed a Heineken. After a few healthy pulls on the bottle, I made my way through the crowd to find Alice and Jasper. I hoped they had a booth or table. It didn't take me long to spot Jasper sitting at a large booth by himself so I waded through the crowd and took a seat across from him.

"Hey, Edward. Good to see ya. Alice went to the ladies room so she'll be right back," Jasper said as he took a big drink from what looked like Jack and Coke.

"That's cool, Jazz. How are things?"

"Great. I'll be glad to get this year behind me."

"I hear ya."

I saw Jasper's expression change slightly as he looked across the dance floor. I followed his field of vision and saw Alice walking toward us with a big smile on her face and she wasn't alone.

Walking beside Alice was the object of my past weeks naughty fantasies. Bella. She looked breathtaking. Her hair was swept away from her face in some twist on her head and the rest lay in curls on her shoulders. Her makeup was sexy as hell and the blue of her top set off her skin in an ethereal glow. I all but dropped my beer as she walked closer watching her feet, totally unaware of my presence or of her allure.

"Hey guys," Alice said as she finally got to the table and Bella looked up from the ground.

Her eyes were as large as saucers when we made eye contact and I'm sure mine were popping out of my head as well. I knew she was as surprised to see me here as I was to see her. I knew that I needed to speak first to Bella and then I was going to do A LOT of speaking later in private to a certain meddling pixie. I stood from my seat and looked into those brown eyes.

"Bella. You look simply gorgeous tonight," I said as I shoved my hands in my pocket hoping Big Ed kept to himself tonight. I'd deal with him later.

"Um, thank you, Edward. Uh, you look handsome as well," Bella said as she looked down from my eyes to the floor.

"Well, aren't ya'll cute!" Alice exclaimed as she took a sip from some girly mixed drink. "Jazz, baby let's go bust a move."

Jasper being, well Jasper he got up and lead Alice out to the floor. That boy is one whipped pup. Then it was just Bella and I. Alone.

"Bella, won't you sit down? Let me buy you a drink," I said as I motioned to the booth hoping she'd take a seat by me.

Bella looked like a frightened deer as she wobbled slightly but finally took a seat on the opposite side of the booth.

"Um, thanks Edward. I've never drank so just order whatever your having," Bella replied as she looked everywhere except at me.

The waitress came by and I flagged her over to order two Heinekens and I ignored the suggestive leering that I was getting from her. Hello? I'm sitting with a beautiful girl here.

If Bella noticed, she gave no signal as she fidgeted in her seat tugging at her shirt sleeves. I needed to engage her in conversation so she hopefully relaxes.

"So, Bella. What do you think of Seattle so far? I'm sure it's a huge change in scenery from Phoenix."

"Oh, it's nice. I haven't seen much yet but campus since this is only my second trip into the city but I like it so far," Bella responded as she looked briefly into my eyes and then away again.

Our beers arrived and I set up my tab with the waitress. Bella took a tentative sip of her beer and scrunched up her face.

"If you don't like it, we can order you something like Alice has. Beer is not always a girl's first choice," I said as I slid closer to her in the booth.

"Um, it's fine. I'm just so out of element here. I'm sorry you've been stuck with me tonight," Bella replied with a hint of sadness to her voice.

I made my way around the booth until I was sitting mere inches from her. The pull was so strong to her that I wanted to touch her. I reached out slowly and laid my hand gently on top of hers and felt that jolt of energy like I'd felt in the exam room earlier in the week.

"I'm not stuck, Bella. In fact I'd say I'm a pretty damn lucky guy to have you here all to myself."

Bella's breath caught as soon as we touched and she looked to my face with a panicked expression. I wonder if she feels this energy surging between us. I've never felt this way before in my life and it both scared and thrilled me. Then she spoke.

"You don't have to say those things to me, Edward. Trust me. I know who I am and I assure you that I'm the one everyone is staring at wondering how I managed to hook you into spending time with me," Bella said sadly. "I mean look at you and then look at me. You've _seen _me. What I look like without the walls up. No guy here wants a girl that they have to hide."

What? I rubbed soothing circles on top of her hand. I wanted to hold her and convince her of how wrong she was but I feared coming on too strong would scare her away for good. I needed some kind of connection though, to show her.

"Bella, will you dance with me?"

She jumped slightly and looked back into my eyes with shock.

"What? Me? Uh, I can't dance."

"Sure you can. It's all in the leading. Come on," I said as I slid around the booth and stood to take her hand. "I promise that I won't let anything happen to you."

Bella looked at me for several seconds before she placed her tiny hand in mine and I felt like I was home. She slowly stood and I led her to the dance floor. I could feel her nerves as her hand trembled in mine.

"Hey. It's just you and me. Do you trust me?" I asked as I placed the hand she wasn't holding on the small of her back and pulled her close.

"Yes, but what if someone else wants to dance with you and you're stuck with me?" Bella stammered out.

"There's no one else on my dance card tonight, Bella. Just you."

I pulled her closer and we began to sway with the music. I had no idea what song was playing and it didn't matter. I just knew that this felt right. After a few songs she relaxed into me and I pulled her closer drinking her essence in. When she laid her head on my chest I almost lost it so I just pulled her tighter to me and lightly kissed her hair reminding myself of the tenderness of the moment she was sharing with me. Pitching a tent would not help the cause tonight. This wasn't about sex or lust. It was deeper than that. At least it was for me.

I'm sure that to onlookers we were out of step with the music but for those few minutes we were lost in our own world. She sighed into my chest when the music ended and the crowd around us started to leave the dance floor. I loosened my hold on her and led her back to the booth where Em, Rose, Alice and Jazz were waiting to ambush us. I gave them all a warning look to not make a big deal out of any of this so they wouldn't scare her away. I could see they all knew that what just happened was big for us both and no one wanted to push it or Bella.

We sat down and grabbed our drinks. Bella was still by my side but I could tell she was not sure of what to do so I laced my free hand with hers under the table trying to soothe her by rubbing small circles on her palm. If all we could be was friends, then so be it. I'd take whatever she was willing to give.

I looked down to her face and saw that she had a slight blush and a small grin gracing those plump lips that were calling for me to take as mine. I wanted her to know that I wanted to be there with her and that no one else mattered. She looked up into my eyes and I stared into those brown depths, lost to the world.

We broke out of our trance and I reluctantly let go of her hand. I hoped that in time I can make her see how I feel for her. I was scared to open myself up to the pain I'd suffered before but somehow this felt right.

The conversation was light and even Emmet seemed to know that tonight was not the time for embarrassing conversation. I ordered Bella a strawberry daiquiri during the next round of drinks and that was something I could tell she liked so I slid that back into my mind for a later date. Jasper and I had switched to water earlier in the evening since we were driving.

After midnight, the girls began to tire and it was time to get them home. We stood and exited the building with me escorting Bella to Jasper's truck. I wanted to take her home myself and like the mind-reader she was, Alice spoke up.

"Edward. Would you mind if Bella rode with you back to the dorms? The truck gets a little crowded with five bodies crammed inside."

Bella stumbled over her feet at those words and I reached quickly to grasp her waist before she hit the ground. I pulled her flush to my side.

"Jesus, Bella. Are you alright?" I asked.

It was dark enough that I couldn't see the blush that I knew was gracing her beautiful face but I could feel her racing heartbeat through her clothes.

"Yeah, I'm a walking disaster. Sorry," Bella mumbled to me.

"You're no such thing, Bella. It's dark and I'm glad I caught you before you skinned those pretty knees up," I said gently as squeezed her hand in mine for reassurance. I turned my attention to Alice. "To answer your question, Pixie, yes I can take Bella back to the dorms if it's okay with her."

Alice smiled and looked to Bella for affirmation. Bella nodded slightly and I gave the same sign back to Alice.

"Alrighty then. We'll see you two back at Pattison. We won't be long," Alice said as she, Em, Rose and Jazz climbed into the truck and took off into the darkness.

I escorted Bella to my car and opened the door for her. I was taught to be a gentleman and that's what this angel deserved. I jogged around and got in to start the car since fall evenings in Seattle can be chilly. Bella needed not to get sick since the meds she takes lowers her immune system making it harder to fight illnesses.

She looked so timid as she sank in the seat wringing her hands. I needed to make her feel safe with me so I turned in the seat to her and ever so gently guided her face toward mine by her chin. It was time to show her my cards.

"Bella. I know you're afraid of letting down your guard. Hell, I am too. But I really do like you. Inside and out. I want to get to know you better and I know that you may not be ready for that step so I am willing to take things as slowly as you want. If friendship is all we can have then so be it."

I watched as the tears began to fall freely down her face as she stared into my eyes. She was silent for what seemed like forever and I was afraid that I had really scared her away with my bluntness. She wiped the tears as much as she could and took a deep breath before she made her reply as she shook her head.

"Edward. I have no idea what is happening here. I mean, I've never had "this" with a guy at all. I wouldn't know what to do! But I feel this draw to you and I haven't been able to get you off my mind since we met. I'm scared of letting someone in. It's taken a lot for me to let Alice and Rose into my life and I've barely been around Jasper and Emmet. So I don't know what to do. My heart says yes but my mind is all over the place."

"Then we will learn this together, Bella."

Bella's breath caught and she shook her head again.

"Why would _you _want _me_? I'm not whole. You've seen my skin and you know that it can get worse in just a matter of days. You're obviously gorgeous, successful and you need someone that matches you. I'm never going to be that girl. I'll always be an ugly duckling that will never be a swan."

"Then it will be my mission to show you how wrong you are, Bella. I've seen you, that's true and I want you to know that I don't see the psoriasis at all. I see you for the beautiful, soulful, smart woman that you are," I pleaded.

She never broke her eyes from mine and I knew this was terribly difficult for her. Please, God. Let her say yes!

"Alright. I'll try to do this, Edward. You have to be patient with me and let me go if I hold you back," Bella said as more tears trickled down onto her cheeks.

"I will be whatever you need, Bella. Thank you for saying yes. Now, let's get you home."

I reluctantly let go of her face and pulled the car out of the lot to take her back to the dorms. I wanted to keep contact with her so I reached for her hand and she surprised me when she held mine tightly as we drove.

I knew this wouldn't be as easy as some relationships but I knew that we could make this work together. I couldn't keep the smile from my face as we pulled into the dorm parking lot.

"Edward, thank you for being so wonderful to me tonight. All this was unexpected but I promise to try."

"No, thank you for giving me a chance, Bella." I smiled. "Now, hand me your cell so we can trade numbers. I don't want to be apart from you any more than we have to."

She handed me her iPhone and I programmed my number in and then called my cell from hers so I could save the number. I knew the night was about to end so I got out and walked around my car to open the door for her.

When she got out I wrapped my arms around her waist and put my forehead to hers. We were both breathing heavy and I knew she was emotionally spent, but I wanted one more thing tonight.

"Bella, I want to try something if that's alright. Can I kiss you goodnight?" I asked as I held her in my arms.

"Yes," was all she said but it was enough invitation for me. I put my hands under her chin and pulled her face toward mine and gave her a soft kiss. Bella sighed and brought her lips tentatively again to mine.

Our lips meshed like we were born to kiss each other. I pulled her as closely as I could and Bella wrapped her arms around my neck. This was Heaven.

After several minutes we broke apart and tried to calm our breathing just as I saw Jasper pulling in beside of us. I knew our time was over for the night so I stepped back from her but kept both her hands in mine.

"I need to go, Bella, but I'll see you tomorrow at my parent's. Okay?"

"Okay. I can't wait till then, Edward."

I didn't want the other couples to leave her outside alone so I gave her one last kiss before she turned and went into the dorms with Rose, Emmet and Jasper. Alice lagged behind.

"Pixie?" I asked.

Alice stopped and turned to me, "Yes?"

"I don't know how you knew but thank you," I said as I broke out into a huge grin.

"You're most welcome, big brother. Now don't fuck it up. She's important! See ya tomorrow!"

I laughed as she skipped into the dorm and I got in the Volvo to make my way back to my apartment. I made it back home and got ready for bed. As I got ready to shut out the lights I grabbed my cell and sent Bella a goodnight text.

_Goodnight, beautiful See you tomorrow. XoXo Edward_

**Ok, ok. I know we didn't get to the dinner, but Edward didn't want to wait that long and hey, its he and Bella's story so who am I to argue? So, what do you think so far? Next chapter may be a few days. RL and all that. Let me know. Reviews make me happy! **


	11. Chapter 11

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 11

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just love to play with them for my own personal pleasure. **

**I want to make this a realistic and enjoyable read so please keep those reviews and PM's coming, good or bad. Also, although I love the traffic this is getting, I'm still only getting reviews from a few of you so if you can PLEASE review. Thanks a million. **

**Many many thanks as always to my kick-butt beta's, kare831 and twimom817 and the awesome support from darcysmom. They keep me sane and grammatically correct. **

**Let's get Bella's POV from the club. It's not as long but I'm ready to move on to the family dinner and beyond!**

_**BPOV**_

We arrived at the club a little past eight and I've never been to such a wild place and I was overwhelmed. Emmet and Jasper went immediately to the bar to order drinks so the girls and I went to find a table. Luckily there was a large open booth in the back corner that we grabbed before it was taken.

There were bodies everywhere. Drinking, dancing and just hanging out. The music was loud and the atmosphere was electric. I made sure to sit in the back middle of the horseshoe-shaped bench so the rest of the guys could get up and down to dance or whatever. I was content to just sit and watch.

Emmet and Jasper came back with a tray of drinks and began handing them out to us.

"Bella, we didn't know what you'd like to drink so we got you a water. I hope that's okay. You can order something else from the waitress when she comes by," Jasper said as he slid the bottle over to me.

"Water's good, Jasper. I, um, haven't ever really drank, so…"

"Aw, damn. I was planning on getting you hammered, Bella Boo. Water-schmater," Emmet grumbled as he took a big swig from his beer.

I laughed but Rose smacked Emmet on the back of the head at that remark.

"Emmet Cullen, leave her alone. You are such a perpetual teenager. Now, get up off that ass and take me to the dance floor," Rose announced as she swallowed her shot of tequila.

"Hells yeah! Let's boogie down!" Emmet replied as he grabbed her hand leading her off into the masses.

"Pay no attention to the boy hid behind the man, Bella. He's scary," Alice said as she sipped her drink. "Oh, I just love a good pina colada!"

"Not as much as I love you, darlin'," Jasper said as he kissed her on the cheek.

I smiled at Jasper's sweet gesture. He and Emmet are such polar opposites but I was beginning to love them as much as I already loved Alice and Rose.

Alice was watching intently across the bar and for what I had no idea. Suddenly she sat up and said, "I need to visit the ladies room, Bella. Would you mind joining me? I hate going to bar bathrooms alone. Pretty please?"

"Of course I can go with you, Alice. Just lead the way."

"We'll be right back, Jazz. Keep my seat warm?"

"Will do, just don't keep me waiting alone too long, sugar."

Alice turned and gave Jasper a sweet kiss and then grabbed my hand and led me to the bathrooms. They were clean, which was something that I wasn't expecting.

After a few minutes, she immerged from the stall, washed her hands and began checking her makeup. Should I be doing that too?

"Bella, are you having a good time?"

I was having fun so far. I just hope I haven't been acting otherwise.

"I'm having a great time, Alice. Thanks for inviting me along. I hate to drag the couples down so please don't hang out at the table on my account. Dance and enjoy yourself."

"I think I'll grab Jazzy and go dance awhile, if you're sure you'll be okay till we get back."

"You need to dance. You have too much energy to just sit." I laughed.

"Ha, that's true! Maybe tonight you will find someone you wanna dance with too, Bella."

"Don't hold your breath. Jasper's waiting for you. Let's go."

She giggled and took my hand as she led me back to the booth. I kept my eyes trained to the floor so I didn't trip and drag her down with me. That would be a disaster.

"Hey guys, "Alice said as I looked up from the ground and was met with a hypnotic pair of emerald eyes.

I'm sure my face was a mixture of shock, surprise and embarrassment because before me sat the object of my most erotic fantasies. I wanted to run but my feet wouldn't move. Edward stood and put his hands in his pockets.

"Bella. You look simply gorgeous tonight."

"Um, thank you, Edward. Uh, you look handsome as well," was my brilliant reply.

He did look handsome. He was wearing a black leather jacket that hung to his waist, a light blue dress shirt that was unbuttoned enough to show just a peek of chest hair, and dark jeans that fit like a glove. But his crowning glory was in artful disarray on his head and the auburn tresses set off the green in his eyes. Well, Bella. I know what you'll be doing later to that image. My eyes met his once more and I couldn't stand it so I looked back to the floor.

Alice made some comment that I didn't catch and then she and Jasper went to dance leaving me alone with Edward. Poor guy is stuck with me.

"Bella, won't you sit down? Let me buy you a drink," Edward said as he motioned for me to sit down.

My legs wobbled again with the urge to run but I managed to sit on the opposite side of the booth without falling.

"Um, thanks Edward. I've never drank so just order whatever you're having," I said as I kept my eyes diverted from his.

A cute, brunette waitress came by shortly afterwards and Edward ordered two beers. Even the waitress noticed how hot Edward was as she stared at him suggestively and I waited for him to make his move on her.

I guess he missed her 'come hither' siren call although it was blatantly obvious, poor guy. He just told her to set up a tab for him and he'd take care of it at the end of the night before he turned his attention back to me.

He asked me how I liked Seattle so far and I stammered out some lame reply. I found myself wanting to just sit and stare into his eyes for however long, so to keep from looking like a fool I took a tentative sip of the beer. YUCK!

"If you don't like it, we can order you something else like Alice has. Beer is not always a girl's first choice," Edward said as he slid closer to me.

"Um, it's fine. I'm just so out of my element here. I'm sorry you've been stuck with me tonight," I replied, hoping I didn't sound like a petulant child.

Oh my. I felt my cheeks get hot and my pulse quicken. '_He probably doesn't want to yell across the booth at you, Bella,' _my inner voice said. Suddenly he was close enough that he laid his hand on top of mine. I felt a shock run up my arm to my chest. What the…

"I'm not stuck, Bella. In fact I'd say I'm a pretty damn lucky guy to have you here all to myself."

I looked to his face and saw the sincerity etched in his features. I was thrilled but scared to death how good he made me feel. This isn't real, Bella. Just like those stories that you read on Fan Fiction.

"You don't have to say those things to me, Edward. Trust me. I know who I am and I assure you that I'm the one everyone is staring at wondering how I managed to hook you into spending time with me. I mean look at you and then look at me. You've _seen _me. What I look like without the walls up. No guy here wants a girl that they have to hide."

I felt defeated. I couldn't make my self esteem any better than it was. I was a realist and the truth was just laid out on the table. Edward just rubbed my hand in what I was sure was pity. I don't want pity! I want normal!

"Bella, will you dance with me?"

I jumped in my seat and looked to him with pure terror running through my veins. I was scared of my feelings and of being that close to him when it was all just for a fleeting moment.

"What? Me? Uh, I can't dance."

Edward slid around the booth and stood in front of me with an outstretched hand.

"Sure you can. It's all in the leading. Come on. I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

I looked at him, waiting for him to dissolve into vapor like a mirage. He stood, looking intently at me so I gathered all my nerve and stood, placing my trembling hand into his large and warm one.

"Hey. It's just you and me. Do you trust me?" he asked as he placed his free hand on my lower back and pulled me closer. Gah, I'm melting…but what a way to go.

I was worried that he'd miss out on dances with the many women that were ogling him while he was stuck with me on the dance floor.

Then he told me there was no one else but me tonight and we began to sway with the music. I was lost in a dream…floating away on a cloud. After a few minutes, I relaxed into his embrace and he pulled me even closer to his body. It was surreal and then I felt him kiss me tenderly on top of my head. Now I'm sure I am just a puddle of goo on the floor.

When the music ended Edward guided me back to the booth and our entire group was sitting there waiting for us. No one said a word, however and if they had I would have probably passed out cold.

We sat down and grabbed our drinks. I felt Edward lace his hand with mine under the table and without a thought I held it tightly. When he looked down to me I saw his eyes were sparkling and he was smiling at me. I couldn't help but blush and smile back.

After awhile, the waitress came back by and Edward ordered water and shortly after he slid a red, frozen drink in front of me. I have to admit, the beer was nasty and this looked very good. I took a small sip and was treated to the flavor of strawberries, my favorite. I smiled.

"It's a strawberry daiquiri. I thought you might like that better than what you were drinking, Bella," Edward whispered into my ear as he let go of my hand.

The conversation was light and I was having a great time but I soon began to tire after a long day and such a surge in my emotions. I hated for the night and the fantasy to end but Edward had fueled my dreams for many nights to come (no pun intended). We stood and Edward escorted me out of the building to Jasper's truck. Here is where the show ends, Bella.

"Edward. Would you mind if Bella rode with you back to the dorms? The truck gets crowded with five bodies crammed inside," Alice asked.

My legs gave way and I started to fall but was quickly drawn to safety by strong hands that held me tightly.

"Jesus, Bella. Are you alright?" Edward asked as he looked at me in the near darkness.

I knew I was blushing from head to toe. My pulse was racing so fast I couldn't count the beats and I was trying hard not to hyperventilate.

"Yeah, I'm a walking disaster. Sorry."

Edward squeezed my hand and said, "You're no such thing, Bella. It's dark and I'm glad I caught you before you skinned those pretty knees up. To answer your question, Pixie, yes I can take Bella back to the dorms if it's okay with her."

Pretty knees? Uh, more like flaky knees! I looked and saw that Alice was waiting for my affirmation so I nodded and Edward appeared to have understood. Alice said that she'd see me shortly and took off in Jasper's truck with the rest of the guys, leaving me alone with Edward.

Sigh.

Edward took me over to his car, which was real nice although I have no idea what kind it was exactly. I could just see that it was gray or silver in the moonlight. He opened the door for me and I sank into the leather seat trying to calm myself. Of course I didn't take my Xanax because I knew I might be drinking and the two don't mix, so I've been told.

As soon as he got in he started the motor and turned up the heat. I hadn't realized until then that it was chilly out. I'd been flushed since I'd met his eyes in the bar hours ago. Then he slowly reached for my chin and turned my face toward his.

"Bella, I know you're afraid of letting down your guard. Hell, I am too. But I really do like you. Inside and out. I want to get to know you better and I know that you may not be ready for that step so I'm willing to take things as slowly as you want. If friendship is all we can have then so be it."

I must be dreaming because real life is too cruel for something like this to happen to me. I tried to hold back the tears but they began to fall freely as I tried to make sense of what he had just told me. He wants to get to know me. _Me! _

I began to rant and ramble because I was scared to let him into my life. I had no idea how to have a relationship or even if I was capable of such. My heart ached for my brain to agree to let whatever this was be okay. Every time I came up with a negative, he'd counter with a positive. Most of all I wanted him to understand that I felt like I was the ugly duckling from the nursery rhyme except that I was never going to turn into a swan. But he wasn't deterred. He wanted this. He wanted _me._

"Alright. I'll try to do this, Edward. You have to be patient with me and let me go if I hold you back," I said as my tears kept falling.

"I will be whatever you need, Bella. Thank you for saying yes. Now, let's get you home," Edward replied as he wiped a few tears from my face and grabbed my hand as he pulled out of the parking lot. I held on to his hand for dear life.

When we got to the dorm he asked for my cell phone so he could program his number into it and afterwards he called his phone from mine to save my number.

Edward got out of the car and came to open my door for me. When I stood he wrapped his arms around my waist and put his forehead to mine before he spoke.

"Bella, I want to try something if that's alright. Can I kiss you goodnight?"

I didn't think. I just acted. This was really happening! I was an emotional wreck but happy at the same time. "Yes."

He put his hand under my chin and pulled my face to his and gave me a soft kiss. My first kiss ever. I wanted more so I brought my lips back to his again and closed my eyes.

I felt butterflies in my stomach but I was soaring through the heavens with the thrill of his soft lips on mine. Even though I had nothing to compare it to, I knew this felt right. Our lips were like matching puzzle pieces as we fit together so well.

After several minutes we broke apart and I was breathing like I'd run the Boston Marathon. Edward was regaining his composure as we heard Jasper's truck pull into the lot beside us. He stepped back from me but kept a hold on my hands.

"I need to go, Bella, but I'll see you tomorrow at my parent's. Okay?"

"Okay. I can't wait till then, Edward."

The others knew that something was going on but thankfully no one called us out. Everyone was tired and heading into the lobby so I waved goodbye to Edward as I followed Rose, Emmet and Jasper inside. I guess Alice stayed back to talk to Edward.

I went to my room, unlocked the door and went inside. I grabbed a pair of pj's and went to get ready for bed. When I got out of the bathroom, I noticed that the girls were still gone so I crawled under the sheets and grabbed my phone off the bedside table to turn the ringer down when I saw that I had gotten a text.

_Goodnight, beautiful. See you tomorrow. XoXo Edward_

Should I reply or not? My heart was so full it felt like it was going to explode! So I decided that yes, I should reply. I sent my message and quickly turned off my phone before I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face.

_Goodnight, Edward. You have made me the happiest girl on the planet. Sleep well. XO Bella_

**Thanks for sticking with me so far. After this chapter, I plan to write in open dialog so there will be less repetition. I know this chapter was a repeat of the last one but I wanted to share Bella's take on the night because it was a turning point for her. So, they are going to try at this friendship/relationship. It's gonna be a slow go, folks. Sorry if you are wanting a quick learning curve but Bella's not over the kiss yet so I don't think she is ready for anything super-sexual yet. But hopefully soon! I just love Edward…so understanding and sweet. He's got his hands full though. **


	12. Chapter 12

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 12

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews. I reached over 50 this weekend! That's amazing! Love, love, love getting them so if you can please review! And as always, big TY's to twimom817 and kare831 for pre-reading and making this country girl sound good. I couldn't do this without their support. PLUS Kare sent me some awesome pics from seeing Rob in LA this week. SWOON! Lastly, you can catch me on Twitter lakermom37. Would love to talk to you! **

_**BPOV**_

Sunday dawned and I awoke wondering if I had been dreaming or if last night REALLY happened. The girls were still snoozing away so I reached for my phone to check the time to see that it was only eight so I covered back up and looked over my messages.

The message that I was afraid was fabricated in my brain was actually there, from Edward. I shook my head. It was all still surreal to me. I hadn't dreamed it…Edward said he wanted to get to know me better and I told him I'd try.

I let out a giggle as I pulled the covers over my head. Then I was ambushed.

"So, Swan. We want details," Rose said as she sat up in her bed. "I heard that giggle so I know you're awake. Don't try to hide it."

"Oh yes, Bella. We need dirt and I think now is a great time to spill your guts," Alice announced as she crawled out of her covers.

I sat up in the bed and tried to get my thoughts straight over the events the night before. They were playing in my mind on repeat, over and over like a movie reel.

"Well, I don't really know what to tell you. Edward and I were alone in the booth so we talked. Then he asked me to dance. It all came out of nowhere and I thought he was just being polite, you know, since I was there alone. But then he kept touching my hand and saying all these nice things. Alice, when you asked him to take me back here I was terrified to be alone with him. But he was so nice."

"Uh huh. He's a good guy. What about that kiss? We saw, Bella. Friends don't kiss," Alice retorted.

"Um, that just happened at the end. He asked if he could and I said yes," I said as I looked down and fiddled with my bed sheet.

"Ooooh, Bella. You and Edward…I like it," Rose replied. "You both need to get a life outside of school. It's perfect. You like him, right?"

It only took me a second to answer. "Yes, I do and it scares me to death!"

"Bella, this is a big deal. Edward just doesn't do random things like this. He's been hurt by someone and he hasn't dated in several years. He must really be into you to be that forward on only your second time together. I know Edward better than anyone and he wouldn't ask to see you if he wasn't serious," Alice said in a no-nonsense tone.

"Guys, don't read too much into this. I mean, he was drinking and like I said, we were the odd men out. I don't even know if I am capable of letting myself into a relationship or whatever."

"I've seen Edward buzzed and even drunk, and last night he most certainly wasn't either of those. You need to allow yourself to live and be open to love because you have so much to offer. Just take things slow and see what happens. We'll be here for you every step of the way. But tell me…was the kiss good?" Rose asked me as she came over to hug me.

"Yes. I mean, I have nothing to compare it to but he left me wanting more kisses," I said softly as my stomach fluttered with the memory of his soft lips on mine.

Rose gave me a big smile and Alice came to hug me. I couldn't help a few happy tears from falling. I couldn't believe this was my life now. I had close friends that I felt like I could tell anything to and now I had the chance to spend time with Edward. I was giddy.

Dinner was in a few hours and that was wracking at my nerves. What if Carlisle and Mrs. Cullen don't approve of me? What if Edward saw me differently in the new day? What if I failed with him? Could I handle that rejection? There were so many unanswered questions in my brain that kept trying to replace the good things I wanted to hold on to.

Alice got up and said she was going to go shower so I decided to call my mom to check in while Rose ran down to the cafeteria to grab us coffee and bagels. We all needed a caffeine boost this morning.

"Hello sweetie. I'm so glad you called. How are you?" Renee said when she answered her phone.

"I'm doing well and things are great here. How are things going in Florida?"

I had talked to her earlier in the week after my doctor's appointment but she didn't have any news on Phil's tryouts or any potential move to Florida.

"Oh, he's working so hard. He really wants this to work out and we should know by the end of next week if he has a spot on the team or not."

"Well, let me know. I worry about my stuff in Phoenix."

"I know you do, honey. We'll get it all figured out soon. Did you get your Enbrel shot yet?"

"No, I haven't heard back from my labs but I hope to know something tomorrow. I don't want to have a big lapse in treatment that would cause me to relapse. I will let you know. I guess I should go. I'm going to dinner with my roommates and I need to get ready. Love you and tell Phil the same."

I didn't want to tell Mom about Edward yet, just in case.

"Ok, I will. I love you too. Talk to you later this week. Bye hon."

We hung up the call as Alice immerged from the bathroom. Rose wasn't back yet so I went ahead and got my shower.

Rose brought our food right before I got out so she went to get ready as Alice and I ate.

"So, Miss Bella, what do you want to wear today? We're really laid back at home so you don't need to dress formal or anything."

"Um, I want to be comfortable, please. No heels. What do you think?"

"I was thinking maybe a fitted top, jacket and jeans with your ballet shoes. Sound good? Maybe wear your hair up in a messy bun?"

"That sounds good. Let me see if I can coordinate something. I guess I need to start doing that myself."

"I don't mind a bit, Bella, but it's true that you need to get comfortable with putting an outfit together. Just let me know if you need my help."

I went to my closet and found a new pair of dark jeans, a pink thermal top and a fitted jacket paired with my ballet shoes. I put the outfit on my bed and asked Alice's opinion.

"I like it, comfortable but cute. Now, make sure to wear something nice _under._"

"Alice! No one will be seeing _that _but me."

"Never say never, Bella. It will make you feel sexier…trust me."

So, I found an "Alice Approved" underwear set in navy blue and sat to wait for the bathroom to clear to get dressed. I wished I was confident enough to change here. Soon enough, Rose was done and I got dressed and took my Xanax before I forget it, just in case.

When I was done with my hair and a little makeup that I actually applied on my own, I was happy with the way I looked. I just hoped Edward would be as well. After Alice and Rose got ready we grabbed our bags and went to Alice's car. Jasper and Emmet were meeting us there later.

I was nervous but anxious to be with the Cullen family for the first time and to meet Mrs. Cullen. Mostly, I was excited to see Edward again. I just hope he feels the same as he did last night.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**EPOV**_

Wow, what a night. I had made my plea to get to know more about Bella and actually kissed her. She was inexperienced I could tell but she caught on quickly. My lips were still tingling when I fell into bed and sent her a goodnight text not expecting hers in return. She was so innocent, sweet and incredibly sexy. I knew she was taking a huge leap of faith with me. I just needed to take things slow so not to scare her away.

Morning came quickly but I had the best night's sleep I'd had in a long time. After my mandatory coffee and a microwave sausage biscuit I went to my office to check emails before getting ready to go to my parent's house.

Dinner is going to be interesting with Bella there. Alice, Emmet, Rose and Jasper already knew something happened last night and I'm sure the girls had gotten the story from Bella already. I just hope Mom can rein in her enthusiasm or better yet, maybe I need to get there early so I can prepare her. I also needed to talk to Dad since this relationship was going to be slightly unconventional with the doctor/patient scenario. So with that idea, I got ready, grabbed Bella's injection from the fridge and took off to my childhood home.

Mom was in the kitchen chopping potatoes and Dad was sitting in the den reading his Sunday paper when I arrived. I went into the kitchen and put the Enbrel injection on the counter.

"Hey, Mom. Dad."

"Hello, Edward. What has you up and out so early on a Sunday? Dinner isn't for a few more hours," Dad replied as he folded up his paper and came to greet me.

"Yeah, well I wanted to talk to you two before everyone got here," I said as I ran my hand through my hair. It's a nervous tick I have, I guess.

"Alright," Mom said. "Let me clean off my hands and get these potatoes on. Carlisle, can you make some fresh coffee?"

After Mom washed her hands and grabbed us all a cup of coffee, she motioned us toward the bar and we took a seat.

"So, what has my oldest so frazzled that he couldn't wait to talk to parents, not that we mind at all."

I chuckled. "Mom, Dad. I've met someone."

"That's great, Edward," Dad said as he patted me on the back. "I know it's been awhile for you."

Mom gasped then put her hand on her chest but kept silent. I knew that Mom would be thrilled.

"We've not known each other long but we've decided to get to know each other better. This all just came about last night," I replied.

Mom wiped a few tears from her eyes and got up to give me a hug. "This makes me so happy, Edward. When do we get to meet this woman that has opened up your heart again?"

"Well, that's the reason I'm here now. Dad, you've met her already."

"I have? I'm not following you, Edward."

"It's Bella, Dad. Isabella Swan."

Dad sat there quietly in thought over what to say. I knew Dad wouldn't be opposed to Bella as much as the situation revolving around Bella. Mom just looked back and forth between Dad and me with a confused look on her face.

"Is it the same Bella that is coming to dinner today? Why is that a problem?" Mom asked with concern etched on her face.

"The one and the same, Mom. The issue is that she was also my patient earlier in the week," I said as I looked to my Dad, worried at his silence. "Dad? Is that a problem? I mean could it _be_ a problem?"

Mom looked heartbroken already. She knew that Dad was ethical to a fault and that he wouldn't compromise the practice or my medical career over anything that could be prevented. She also had yearned for me to get past Tanya and what she did to me. Dad looked at us both with a stoic expression on his face as he sighed.

"Esme, there may be some issues in regard to this relationship that could cause potential problems for Edward in a professional sense. Son, you must know I have no problem with Bella and whomever you choose to see in your personal life is totally your business. In fact, from my brief meeting I found her to be a wonderful young lady. I do, however, have concern about her being your patient. There are laws and policies regarding this very situation. Now, granted you aren't a practicing doctor but I put you in that position when I allowed you to treat her this week."

I felt deflated. The actuality was that I knew this could pose a problem but I had already committed to Bella without thinking this all through. If I were to back out for reasons beyond my control, I'm not sure if her already weak self-esteem could handle it. She would see rejection from me.

"Dad, I know it's unconventional. Can't I just be taken off her case? I don't want to hurt her. She's been through so much already with hatred, rejection and cruelty. You didn't see how hard it was for her to even look at me, let alone talk with me. I can't explain it…this connection I feel, but she had my attention from the moment I met her."

"Let's just enjoy each other's company today. I don't want to see that young woman or my son hurt over some silly rule, Carlisle. We will talk about it more when we have time. In the mean time, I'm going to be happy for Bella and Edward, and I certainly can't wait to meet her. Now if you two will excuse me I need to go finish dinner. Its eleven o'clock and the rest of my kids should be here soon," Esme stated with finality as she tousled my hair and went back to her cooking.

I could see Mom wasn't happy with Dad and I hated to be the cause of it. Dad and Mom rarely argue or even disagree.

"Dad, can we just talk about this after Bella leaves today? There has got to be a way to work this out. I don't want today to be uncomfortable for anyone."

"Alright, Son. We'll see this out. You just enjoy your day but I feel like you need to let her know about the ethics involved in your relationship. It wouldn't be fair to her to be blind-sided by this later."

Thirty minutes later I heard Alice's car roll into the drive and the distinct sound of giggling. A few seconds later Alice burst through the front door with Rose behind her and Bella timidly following them both. She looked more beautiful to me today than yesterday.

"Hey, Mom, Edward and Dad! I brought the girls with me. Em and Jazz should be here closer to noon. They had some errands to run," Alice said as she bounced over to Dad and kissed his cheek before plopping down on the couch to watch television. Rose hugged Dad and took a seat by Alice on the couch.

"Girls, we're glad to have you here today and Bella it's wonderful to see you again. Esme has been looking forward to this all week," Dad smiled as he took a seat in his recliner.

I said hello to Rose and Alice as I made my way over to Bella. She had looked to me a few times and I knew she needed some connection from me.

"Hello, Bella," I said as I grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. "I'm so glad you're here. You look lovely in pink. Let me take you to meet my Mom."

Bella smiled a sweet but bashful smile as I led her to the kitchen.

"Mom, this is Bella Swan. Bella, this is my Mom, Esme Cullen."

I thought Mom's face would crack with the size of her smile. She came over to Bella and embraced her tightly.

"Bella, it's so wonderful to finally meet you. Alice and Edward have said so much about you. Now, please make yourself at home."

"Thank you, Mrs. Cullen. I appreciate the invitation. Do you need any help in here?"

"Now, now call me Esme. Mrs. Cullen makes me feel too old! You are most welcome for the invite, sweet girl. As for helping me, I almost have it ready but thank you for asking." Mom gave me a wink as she turned back to her cooking as Bella blushed from the attention.

"Bella, can I talk to you alone for a minute?" I asked and I watched the happiness on her face melt away.

"Nothing's wrong, Bella. Okay?" I whispered into her ear. "I just brought your injection and I thought you might want to go somewhere private to take it. I wanted to talk to you while you were doing it."

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to react that way," Bella replied as she looked to the ground as if I had scolded her.

"It's okay, Bella. You did nothing wrong, I promise. Just follow me and we'll go to my old room. It will be private there." I said as I led her out of the kitchen. I had never let go of her hand from earlier and it felt so good in mine but I could feel the tension in her grasp. I was really going to have to work on her self image.

"Dad, I'm going to take Bella to my room so she can take her Enbrel and so we can talk for a minute. Just let us know when Mom's ready if we aren't back downstairs."

Dad nodded and gave Bella a smile as we left the room.

My room was on the second floor so I showed her around the house as we made our way there. She was quiet the whole time. When we got to my room, I led her to the edge of the bed and we sat down.

"Bella, relax and tell me what's wrong. You're tense."

"I just feel like such a bother. I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing or doing something stupid. I'm worried that if I do you'll change your mind about us."

I stood from the bed and wrapped my arms around her.

"Nothing is going to change my mind. Now, I'm going to be honest with you. I talked to Dad about us. He thinks I may have to excuse myself from treating you since we're seeing each other and we will figure that out but please don't worry about anything but you and me. Dad wants us both to be happy and Mom already loves you as do Alice, Rose, Emmet and Jasper."

Bella looked at me with those brown eyes that were threatening to spill over with tears.

"I don't want to cause you trouble, Edward. Your career is too important for me to come in and mess things up."

"Silly girl, I promise that there is no trouble to be had. Now, let's take your injection and go back downstairs, okay?"

Bella was trembling slightly but nodded so I went to the bathroom, grabbed a few alcohol prep pads and washed my hands. When I came back I kneeled in front of her, ready to hand off the supplies when I noticed she was still trembling.

"Will you let me give your injection, Bella? I'm afraid you're shaking too much to be steady with the syringe. I don't have a second one to use if this one gets contaminated or not usable."

"Okay. I'm sorry you have to do this. I feel like I'm being such a pain in the ass already because all I seem to be able to do is say 'I'm sorry'," she said as she held her eyes to mine. She has such pretty eyes the color of milk chocolate.

I grabbed her hands and placed a kiss on both of them.

"Bella, I want to do this for you and I'm just glad that I am qualified to do so. It's not an obligation to me. Now, which area are you due to take the injection in?"

Subcutaneous injections are given in the fatty areas of the abdomen, thighs, upper arms and the lower back. The site needs to be varied as not to cause trauma to one particular area. In Bella's case, the areas available are lessened since the injection cannot be given in an area with active psoriasis present.

"Um, I took my last one in my lower abdomen. Normally I swap to thigh area for the next two injections," Bella said as she looked back to the ground.

The thought of Bella being on my bed in just her top and panties gave me instant dirty thoughts of what I really would rather be doing with her here in my old room but I knew I had to be better than that for her so I put those thoughts quickly into the back of my mind for some time hopefully in the future. Unless she changed her mind about the area of the shot, her pants had to go, and I really hoped she would stick with that plan. I pulled her to stand and put one hand under her chin to pull here gaze back to mine as I kept the other hand firmly in mine.

"Alright, pretty girl. You will need to pull off your jeans and lie back on the bed so your skin will be looser for the injection. It's just you and me. Just focus on me."

Bella was still shaking as she fumbled with her belt and I was about to offer my help but she finally was able to get her jeans undone. She took a deep breath and shimmied them down her long legs into a pile on the floor and lay back on my bed. Her eyes were on mine the entire time which seemed to be calming her although her breathing was coming in short pants. It was then I noticed that my pulse was racing and I was having a hard time swallowing as well.

Before me was a vulnerable woman lying on my bed wearing a dark blue swatch of lace that just barely covered her most feminine area. Her top had ridden up slightly and I could see a sliver of pale skin below her navel. I shook my head to clear the thought burying my tongue in her soft and wet folds until she cried out in release.

"Are you ready, Bella?" I said as I took my eyes back to her face hoping she couldn't read my mind.

"Yes. Just tell me when you are going to stick me. I'll be okay."

Oh, those words coming from that sweet mouth. If she only knew the restraint I was using _not_ _to stick her_ with something more potent than a needle. I took a deep breath as well to steady myself.

"I'm going to wipe the prep pad over your skin and let it air dry for a few seconds. Then, just like in the office, I will count to three and give it the beat after 'three'."

I knelt between her open legs and sterilized the area of her upper thigh with the alcohol. When it was dry I prepped the syringe and pinched her skin between my fingers. My hand was only inches from her heat as I held her skin just below her groin area.

"Okay, Bella. Here we go. One…two…three…" I gently slid the needle into her skin and depressed the plunger to administer the Enbrel. She never even flinched although I know the medicine burns as it enters the blood stream.

"Are you okay, Bella? We're all done," I asked as reached for her hand to pull her up to a sitting position as I stood. Her being sprawled out before me like a feast was getting harder for me to handle every second.

Bella smiled slightly, and I could see the pink tinge that still lingered on her cheeks.

"Thank you, Edward. I'm thankful that you helped me out because I really don't think I could've done it myself today."

"You never have to ask, Bella. I will help you out anytime. Now, let's get you dressed. Please don't be embarrassed at what I am going to say but I want to always be honest with you. As professional as I am trying to be, the sight of you in those sinful panties on my bed is way too tempting for your own good and my restraint."

Bella let out the cutest giggle as she hopped up and pulled her pants back on. Then she reached to me and buried her head in my chest as she hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her and chuckled, "You're a dangerous one, Isabella Swan. Now, let's go eat."

_**BPOV**_

I cannot believe that I was just half naked on Edward's bed without having a total panic attack. Thank God I took my anxiety meds! My blood pressure was probably in stroke range but I composed myself somehow and let him give me my shot. He surprised me when he made the comment about my state of dress tempting him. If I were able to verbalize my thoughts to him I would have told him that I was probably so wet by the time the injection was over that I needed fresh panties at the thought of him being so close to where I ached for him to touch me.

His emerald green eyes were my undoing every time.

Luckily we were kept busy all afternoon with food and conversation but Edward never left my side for more than a few minutes. Alice and Jasper went to her room to take a nap (yeah, whatever) after we ate so Emmet, Rose, Edward, Esme, Carlisle and I went into the den to talk and watch TV.

"So, did you and Eddie get it on earlier? Ya'll were gone a long time for just a shot and I detected some pink cheeks on you, Bella Boo," Emmet said with a huge grin on his face as he looked at me.

"Emmet, we just started this relationship last night. I suggest that you keep your crude and asinine comments to yourself unless you want a post-meal ass-whipping," Edward said as he gave Emmet a warning glare.

"Boys! Bella is new to this family and I don't want you two scaring her away with your childish behavior and both of you better watch your language!" Esme said as both boys stopped their bickering. "Emmet, no more comments like that or I will be doing the ass-whipping. Apologize to Edward and Bella now. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mom. Sorry guys."

Carlisle just sighed and kept watching the television.

"We're so happy for you both," Rose said as she popped Emmet in the back oh his head. "I will try to keep knot-head in line over here. He forgets his verbal filter most of the time."

"Um, thanks. I'm happy and I hope Edward is too. I have a lot of growing to do since I'm kind of new at this stuff."

"Bella, you made me happy by just saying yes to me. The rest we will work out together," Edward said as he kissed me chastely on the cheek.

After a few hours, Alice and Jasper immerged from her bedroom and we watched a movie together before we knew it was time to go. We all had classes on Monday and Edward also had patients to see at the dermatology practice.

"Alice, I'm going to take Bella back home today if she's okay with that," Edward said as he looked over to me. "I want a few minutes with you to myself. I'm not sure how much time we'll get with each other this week with our busy school schedules."

"I'd like that, Edward," I said shyly although I was trying to work on my confidence.

We said our goodbyes with hugs from Esme and Carlisle. Esme pulled me over to the side to talk to me alone.

"Bella. I have no words for how I feel seeing my son truly happy for the first time in a long time. I was so afraid that he had given up on love when I know his heart is longing for someone to share his life with. I feel like you're the one he's been waiting for. All the other drama will work out, I promise. Thank you for bringing my Edward back to life."

I teared up and hugged her once more. "Esme, I promise that I won't hurt him on purpose. I just hope he'll be patient with me while I work out my own personal issues with my self. Thank you for treating me so kindly today."

We walked back over to the door and Edward kissed his Mom on the cheek before he escorted me to his car. Like the night before, he opened the door for me before he climbed into the car. Emmet and Rose took off in Alice's car with Jasper and Alice following behind in Jasper's truck as they headed back to Pattison. We waved back to his parents once more before we pulled out of their drive but we went the opposite direction.

"Don't panic, Bella. I'm taking you back but I wanted to show you something first. Is that okay?"

"I'm fine with whatever you want to do, Edward. I don't have any plans tonight but some required reading."

Edward smiled as he laced his hand with mine and drove. Shortly, we arrived at a vacant pier overlooking the Puget Sound. He parked his car and got out to open my door before grabbing my hand and leading me to a bench near the water. It was quiet with just the sounds of the lapping waves and a few seagulls looking for their dinner.

"I come here when I want to think or be alone. I wanted to bring you here so we could just talk and not be interrupted," Edward said as he rubbed the top of my hand with his fingers.

"It's beautiful here and peaceful," I said. "I can feel that you've been her often."

"Well, it's been awhile, Bella. I've been so busy and I quit giving myself the time to just stop and decompress. I want us to get past some of the formalities of a new relationship so we can focus on the more important things. I want you to be open and honest with your feelings and I will do the same."

"Well, till just recently all I did was go to school or read. I've been shy and self conscious around people since I was fourteen, when the psoriasis took over my life. I've never dated anyone or had any type of social life. Alice, Rose and the guys are the first new people that I've let into my life in a long, long time until you. Last night was my first dance and my first kiss. I hope I did okay."

"Bella, I loved dancing with you and your kisses were perfect. So sweet with no expectations," I said as I pulled her hair down from its confines and ran my fingers through it slowly.

"Wow, that feels good," Bella said as she closed her eyes and leaned toward me.

"Yeah? Your hair is so soft and silky. I love the way it feels between my fingers."

I decided to be brave and ask him a question. "Edward. Will you tell me why you haven't dated in awhile? I mean, if it's too personal of a question just tell me so and I will drop it. But someone that looks like you and with so much going for you…it's hard for me to understand why you chose to be alone."

Edward stopped stroking my hair and let go of me completely. I whimpered quietly at the loss of connection as he began rubbing his face. I was afraid I had over-stepped some imaginary line. I began to stammer out another apology.

"No, you deserve to know. You've been nothing but open with my questions and I know that those things are difficult for you so turn about is fair play," he said as he looked out across the water. I wrapped my arms around myself and prepared to hear something that I knew he'd rather not divulge.

"I dated a girl in high school and her name was Tanya. We came to U Dub as a couple since we wanted to be together in college. She had been the first and only girl I had given myself fully to and I thought we were in it for the long haul. During the summer after my freshman year at the university, I took some classes to stay ahead and I guess she was ready for some party time. She started hanging out with her sorority sisters a lot but we'd never broke up or even spoke of her unhappiness. I thought she understood my drive to get through classes and into med school early. One night, sometime around the fourth of July, I decided to surprise her with a candlelit dinner in her room and some alone time. But I was the one that got surprised when I caught her that night in a compromising position with some guy she had classes with. We fought, and of course broke up. I haven't needed or wanted anyone in my life but my family since that night. It hurt too much to think about the mistrust and having my heart trampled on again. That was true until a week ago when I met you, Bella," he said as he turned his gaze to me.

My breathing hitched as I looked into those eyes. I saw the sincerity there as he gazed into mine. I had no idea that he had been hurt so deeply although Esme and Alice had both alluded to the fact.

"Edward, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I don't know what to say. My heart hurts for you so much right now."

"You don't have to say anything, Bella. It's the past and that's where it needs to stay. There's no place in my life for that pain especially with you here with me now. That situation is just a distant memory. Although it was hard for me to get past, I can't say that nothing good came of it because it brought me to you."

Once again, I couldn't stop the tears that spilled down my face. I was wrought with emotions that I didn't even know existed before this very moment. Edward gently wiped them away. "Bella Swan. Can I kiss you again?"

"You never need to ask me that, Edward. Please, kiss me."

He smiled his crooked smile as he threaded his fingers back into my hair and pulled my lips to his in a sweet kiss. The end of time could have happened and I wouldn't have noticed. Edward deepened the kiss and began tracing his tongue on my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I tentatively opened my lips and his tongue began to dance slowly with mine. I moaned into his mouth with the sensations I was feeling and it spurred him to moan back and deepen his kisses further as his mouth took over and overwhelmed mine.

It could have been minutes, hours or even days before we finally broke apart panting. My heart and brain were in overdrive with feelings that I had never felt before. I was ecstatic.

"That was amazing, my beautiful Bella. Magical," Edward said as he peppered soft kisses on my mouth and face. "I can't seem to get enough of you but I guess we need to get you back to Pattison before they send a posse out to get you."

We laughed and reluctantly pulled apart with just a few more chaste kisses as we stood and walked back to his car. Well, he walked and I floated.

The drive back was quiet but not uncomfortably so. We had both laid so much emotion out today that we were simply just too tired for much conversation. When we arrived at the dorms, I knew that he had to go and my heart ached already. I'm not sure what this feeling is, but I knew I was in deep like for Edward Cullen. He got out and opened the door for me. I stood and prepared to say goodnight.

"Edward, thank you for everything you've done today. I've never felt this way before in my life."

Edward pulled me close and kissed my forehead.

"It has been special for me too, Bella. I don't want to let you go but I have to. Let me walk you into the lobby but I want one more kiss before I go."

I stood on my tip toes and he lowered his head to meet mine. The kiss was so tender it almost made me melt. He walked me to the lobby and opened the door as he spoke.

"Call me as soon as you get out of classes tomorrow and leave me a message if I don't answer. I'll call you back when I get freed up. Oh, and I love text messages so send me one anytime…I will probably drive you crazy with me sending mine to you."

"You won't drive me crazy. I loved the one last night so call or text me anytime. I guess I better go before the RA comes to see what's going on. Good night, Edward."

"Good night, Bella. Sleep well."

I watched his car until I couldn't see the taillights before I made my way up the stairs to my room. I guess we had been out longer than I thought because Alice and Rose were already asleep when I got to our room. I quietly made my way to my bed and changed into my pajamas there since no one would see me. After my night time routine was complete I crawled under the sheets and fell into a deep sleep with a smile on my face.

_**EPOV**_

On my way home I couldn't help but keep the smile on my face. Although I knew that Carlisle and I still had to work out a few issues regarding Bella's and my relationship, I was the happiest I had been in forever. Bella was perfect.

Finding out that she had truly been alone for so long before she met my family made my heart want to break for the sweet girl. I knew now that I wanted to not only be her first kiss but the only person to _ever_ touch her that way. I was afraid that Bella would be upset when she found out that I had been intimate with someone before her but she was so compassionate that it made my heart soar with so much feeling that I wanted to shout from the roof tops. I know that it seems too soon but I think I am already falling in love with Bella Swan.

**Finally! Dinner is over. Honestly, this took a few turns that even I wasn't expecting but you have what came out on the page when all was said and done. As for the medical terms, subcutaneous means directly under the skin. I gave my own Enbrel injections for years in my abdomen and thighs before the stuff just quit working for me. I wish Edward had been around to help me out. Let me know what you think! Getting reviews is like being on Edward's bed…minus the shot. **


	13. Chapter 13

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 13

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment.**

**I'm in Rob overload (in a good way!) from all the pretty pics on FB, Twitter and other sites from the Breaking Dawn festivities. But it's all good…less then a week till BD premiere here in my town in Kentucky and I can't wait! Thanks is not enough praise for my two beta's twimom817 and kare831 who take the time away from their own FF writing to make mine look so much better. I'm so glad they took me under their wings. **

_**EPOV**_

Monday started out like a day in Hell. I'd been so caught up with Bella on my mind the night before that I forgot to set my alarm so I woke up thirty minutes later than I needed to make it to class without being in a rush. If that weren't enough, I forgot to set the auto on the fucking coffee pot so I had none ready to grab on the way out the door. I hate mornings like this.

I've said before and I will say again…whoever created scrubs deserves some kind of medal. Today wasn't a day for searching for decent clothes. I made record time in the bathroom by brushing my teeth while I showered but had no time to shave the scruff off my face or fool with my contacts. So fifteen minutes later I was out the door with glasses on and briefcase in hand sans coffee.

My two Monday morning classes were relatively simple and I was out of them by noon. Since I had my fellowship at the Dermatology Clinic in the afternoons I decided to call Bella while I had my lunch. I grabbed a Subway sandwich and a Coke as I rang her number.

"_Hi, it's Bella. Leave me a message after the beep and I'll call you back."_

_Beep_

"_Bella, its Edward. I was between lunch and the Clinic and I thought I'd give you a call. Just wanted to hear your voice, but I guess I will settle for your voicemail greeting. If you get this before one, call me back. Ok?"_

I hung up and slid my phone in my pants pocket hoping that she'd call back before I got to Carlisle's office but she didn't. I guess I just needed a Bella fix. Damn, can this day get any worse? As I walked in to the office and was met by Lauren I found out that yes, apparently it can get worse.

"Hi, Edward," Lauren crooned as she looked at me like I was something to eat. "Whatcha been doing lately? I didn't get a chance to talk to you much last week."

Shoot. Me. Now. I'm not in the mood for her petty shit today.

"I went to school and now I'm coming to work, Lauren. That's all the fuck you need to know. Don't you have some papers to file or something?" I asked, probably too aggressive for work but hey, I was in a bad mood.

"Nope, but your dad wants to see you in his office. He has Dr. Stewart with him."

"Great. Thanks for passing that along," I said as I made my way though the empty hallway to Dad's office. I knocked before I cracked the door open.

"Edward. Come in. We were hoping you'd get here early enough for us to chat with you before it got busy," Dad said as he motioned toward a straight back seat by his desk.

"Lauren said you wanted to speak to me, Dad? Dr. Stewart?"

"Yes we both do, Edward," Dr. Stewart said.

I nodded and Dad cleared his throat.

"I've been talking to Dr. Stewart about the situation we discussed last night. I wanted her unbiased opinion. She has done some research on the topic so, Dr. Stewart, would you please share your findings with us?"

Dr. Stewart turned to me with a look of pity and compassion on her face as she began.

"Your father called me last night asking my thoughts on this relationship you've entered with Isabella Swan. We've spoken at length and I've consulted the AMA Guidelines. Although we have no problem with you seeing Ms. Swan in your personal life, the regulatory board might take issue with the fact that she is your patient which puts you in a superior position. You are working under my license and I can't risk that, Edward."

I felt the air rush from my lungs. I had put myself and Dr. Stewart at risk. Dad had been right to be concerned but where does that leave Bella and me now? I sat up straight in my seat and looked to both Dr. Stewart and Dad.

"So, are you both telling me that either I quit seeing Bella or stop handling her case? She trusts me! You have no idea how hard it was to earn that trust! Now you want me to just hand her off to someone else?" I shouted.

"Son, that's enough. It's our decision to remove you from an active role in her care and that's final. Neither Dr. Stewart nor I are telling you that you aren't allowed to pursue a relationship with Bella. You must look at the big picture, Son."

I fisted my hair hard enough to almost pull it out at the roots as I stood from my seat and went to the door. This battle was one I wouldn't or couldn't win.

"Fine. I will let her know."

I shut the door hard as I made my way down the hall to my makeshift office. Lauren made the move to come after me, but I waved her off. Maggie was waiting for me with the charts for the day but when she saw the state I was in she busied herself with prepping one of the exam rooms. I was mad at the world but mostly at myself for letting this happen. Today I planned on relishing the fact that I could be with Bella. Now I felt like things could unravel before they began.

After fifteen minutes of deep breaths and a few punches to the old filing cabinet, I was able to extract myself from my office to meet with Maggie to get report on my patient load for the day. Thankfully, she didn't ask what was wrong and somehow I made it through my afternoon of patients. Bella was on my mind and the unknown reaction she would have to what transpired today weighed on me heavily but I was too busy to stop and dwell on it for long.

It was after nine when I finished the last of my paperwork. The events of the day holding over my head like a storm cloud. When I was ready to leave I was met with a very contrite Carlisle waiting for me in the empty lobby. He looked as tired as I felt as he ran his hands through his hair. I guess I know where I get that from now.

"Edward, I wanted to talk to you even though you probably wish I was already gone. I know you are pissed at me and I understand. Believe me when I say that if there was another way to handle this, then we would take that route. It pains me to see you so upset after seeing you happy for the first time in so long and I certainly don't want to cause Bella any pain either. I know your Mother will not be happy with me but I had no choice. Please see that."

I sighed as I slumped down into one of the hard plastic chairs. I was upset on so many levels. Was I angry at Dad? Not really, but the entire situation made me mad as hell.

"Dad, I get it. Really I do. Like I said last night, I knew that this could happen. It's just that Bella and I are just getting to know each other and I don't want something to mess it up before it even gets started. I'm not mad at you, but angry with the whole thing."

"I can feel the protectiveness from you regarding Bella already and I think it's a good thing. I plan on taking her case, Edward. Dr. Stewart offered, but this way I will feel like we are keeping Bella in the family, so to speak. I only want the best care for her," Carlisle said as he patted my hand in a calming gesture.

"Thanks, Dad. That means a lot to me and it will to Bella as well. I need to be the one to tell her but it needs to be face to face with no interruptions. My biggest fear is that she will think of this as some sort of rejection on my part."

With that said, I stood and patted him on the back.

"What's life without a little drama, huh? I'll see you Wednesday," I replied absently as I grabbed my briefcase and headed for the exit.

I made the walk down to the parking area and got in my car to head home. But I didn't want to go home. I wanted to go to Bella, hold her in my arms and forget the pains of the day. I reached in my pocket and fished out my cell to call her when I saw I had a missed call…from Bella. Quickly I punched in my passcode, hit the voicemail button and put it on speaker.

"_Hey, it's um, Bella. I got your call when I got out of class but it was after one so I guess you're at work. I have class till four and then I will be at Rathbone till probably nine or so working on the required reading that I forgot last night. Will call you or text you later. Um, thanks for last night. I had a great time."_

I hung up and scrolled though my contact list knowing what I had to do, as I threw my car into gear.

"_Hello? Edward?"_

"_Yeah, Pixie. It's me. Do you have a minute to talk?"_

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**BPOV**_

I woke up Monday in the best mood I'd been in for a long time. As I began my morning routine, I got several smiles and pats from Alice and Rose, but not much was said about last night. They knew I was happy and it seemed that was enough for now. I was definitely happy.

My classes drug on all morning with me trying to keep my mind on the lectures instead of on green eyes and warm lips. At one I had some time between classes so I decided to grab a sandwich from the cafeteria and sit on one of the benches outside. As I ate, I decided to call Edward and that was when I got his message he'd left earlier. Dang. He'd already be at work but I went ahead and left him a voicemail just to let him know I got his call; all this interaction was still new to me. Maybe I'd get a chance to talk to him tonight. I put my phone away and made my way across the busy concourse to my next class.

I must have not been paying attention in the crowd of people because one minute I was walking and the next thing I knew the ground was fast approaching as I threw my hands out to brace my fall.

Strong arms grabbed me before I kissed the concrete.

"Whoa! Are you okay?" came a male voice I didn't recognize.

"Uh, yeah. I'm just a klutz. Thanks for keeping me upright," I responded as I gathered my bearings.

People touching me made me uncomfortable, especially when they were touching my psoriasis, even through my clothes. It was then I made eye contact with the male voice, his hands still holding my forearms.

He was tall and broad with a tanned skin tone, like a Native American. His jet black hair was pulled back into a low ponytail and his eyes were almost as black as his hair. I guess to most he'd be attractive.

"No problem. Hey, I don't think I've seen you around. My name's Jacob. What's yours?" he asked as he let go of my arms but stayed so close beside me that I could feel the heat radiating from his body.

"Um, it's Bella. Sorry but I have got to go."

"Well, Bella. I'll see you around. A pretty thing like you may need some company," Jacob said as he looked me up and down.

"I, uh…yeah, it was nice to meet you. Jacob. I need to get to class. Thanks again," I said as I hurried off.

My heart was racing and I just needed to get away. I could feel Jacob's stare follow me as I scurried away like a scared mouse to my English Lit class. I didn't like feeling this way.

The required reading for my courses was varied and lucky for me, I had read most of them in the past. But I still needed to go to Rathbone Library for awhile after my last class ended at eight so I sent a text to Alice on my way so she wouldn't be worried.

I was a little concerned that I'd run into Jacob again, but I tried to clear that from my mind. I mean, I was glad for his help earlier, but the rest of our interaction was bothering me. He was nice at first but I felt uncomfortable by the time I ran away from him. He seemed too forward to me and I just wanted to forget the whole thing happened.

Rathbone was fairly empty when I arrived with only a few straggling students working at the desks near the front. The sign on the wall said that it was open twenty-four hours a day so I went to the shelves, grabbed my reading material and found a loveseat in the far back corner so I wouldn't be distracted by the tapping of laptop keys and the low murmur of the others. I curled my legs up underneath me and dove into my reading.

The library had gotten silent so I knew I was probably one of the last ones there. I checked my phone to see that it was almost nine o'clock and saw that Alice had sent me a message back to let me know she had gotten mine earlier. I sent her a quick reply to say I'd be a few more hours thinking for just a moment that Edward hadn't called or texted back. I guess he was still at work or busy with other things.

At half past nine I put my book down and decided to stretch my legs and take a breather. I stood from the seat and arched my back out to relieve some tension.

"Now that's quite a view."

I stopped and turned toward the voice to see Edward leaning against a rack of books just a few feet away. He had a small smile on his face but he didn't look entirely happy. He left his perch and slowly walked toward me. My heart was racing as he made his way closer but this wasn't the same feeling I'd had earlier with Jacob. I wanted Edward closer. I had to remind myself to breathe.

He stopped when he was mere inches from me and I looked up into his dreamy eyes. Did I mention that he looked hot with his scrubs, eye glasses and stubble on his face?

"Edward. What are you doing here? Not that I mind at all," I asked breathlessly.

He reached up and ran his hand down the side of my face, "I just needed to see you. Alice told me where I'd find you. Am I bothering you? I can leave if you're too busy."

"No! I've been here for awhile. I need a break. Want to sit?"

"Um, do you want to take a walk? We'll stay close by. I wanted to talk and I'm afraid of being too loud."

"Sure. Let me grab my things."

I grabbed my books and my messenger bag but Edward took the bag away.

"Let me carry that for you. Do you need to check those out?"

I nodded and we made our way to the desk. Once the books were checked out, Edward put them in my bag and grabbed my hand to lead me to wherever we were going.

We walked around till we found a bench nestled in some landscaping off to the side of the library.

"Is this okay?" he asked and took a seat in affirmation. It was quiet, just like the dock had been.

We sat in silence for several minutes when Edward suddenly pulled my hand over to his lap, holding it tighter than before like he was afraid I was going to run. His mouth was set in a grim line as he turned to me to speak.

"I need to talk to you about some things but I'm not sure how to tell you or how you're going to take it."

I inhaled sharply, knowing that whatever this was about was bad. After the run in with Jacob earlier I was already feeling the strain from not taking my meds this morning. My mind started reeling with all the possibilities when it hit me. He's realized that I'm not good enough for him and he doesn't want to see me anymore. Tears began to fill my eyes as I jerked my hand away and stood facing away from him. I couldn't bear to see those eyes again. My fairy tale was over.

"I get it, Edward. You don't have to say anything. I knew this was just a fantasy for someone like me anyway. I'll just get my stuff and go." My voice wavered as I reached for my bag.

Before I could grab my things Edward snatched my hand back and stood, pulling me into his arms. I couldn't think…I couldn't breathe…I couldn't look up into his face. I wanted to go die in a hole somewhere. My heart was broken beyond anything I'd ever thought could happen.

"Just let me go! I can't take this! I thought you were different …" I plead as the words died on my tongue. More tears fell and I tried to free myself from his hold before I fell onto my knees, dragging Edward to the ground with me.

"Bella…please! Look at me! I'm right here and not going anywhere. Please calm down, sweet girl. You're having a panic attack," Edward begged as he held, rocked me and ran his long fingers through my hair.

I let myself go limp as the sobbing continued, burrowing myself into his chest for one last time. A clean break would be hard for me but much easier than dragging this out. Why did I ever think that I could have a relationship with someone like Edward?

He continued rocking me for what seemed like hours, kissing my hair and whispering calming words to me until my crying finally stopped. I'm sure I looked horrible but I didn't care anymore. Edward's scrub top was a wet, snotty mess from my episode. I pulled away from his arms and took several deep breaths as I steeled my nerves.

"I'm alright now. You don't have to stay with me. I'm sorry about this and your clothes. Get them to Alice and I will make sure they are cleaned and back to you.

I was still kneeling, looking at the ground as I spoke, hoping that he would just walk away now so I wouldn't see him leave me. But he didn't leave instead began to speak.

"Bella, I don't give a flying fuck about my clothes. It's you that I'm worried about. I've gone about this so wrong. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me for hurting you."

I sighed, "There's nothing to forgive, Edward. I should have handled this better. You shouldn't feel guilty … you can go now. I'll be okay."

"I do feel guilty because I am! Fuck! Just please just let me talk to you. I don't want to leave you! Hell, I can't even function five minutes without thinking about you. You're already in my soul, Bella."

My heart stuttered at his words. I wanted to tell him I felt the same way but the words just wouldn't come out. I needed to hear him out first.

"If that's true, then what do you need to tell me that you're so upset about?"

Edward reached for my chin gently and made me look at him. I noticed then that he'd been crying too. He looked defeated.

"Listen to what I have to say before you get upset or anything, okay? I promise to answer any questions when I'm done."

"Okay."

"You and I talked last night about the possibility of their being implications to our relationship from a professional stand point. Well, Dad and Dr. Stewart met with me today. I thought that they were going to ask me to stop seeing you, Bella. I was already prepared to fight or walk away from the clinic if it meant that I get to keep you in my life."

I nodded for him to continue as he looked at me expectantly.

"They didn't ask me to choose. They made the decision to take me off your case. I can't be your doctor and your boyfriend because of some dumb ass AMA file. Carlisle is going to take charge of your case, Bella. I should have thought this all through and asked his advice on how to proceed but I didn't. I was worried that you'd see this all as rejection from me. But please know…that I want you no matter what I have to change to keep you in my life. Do you still want me after all the trouble I've made tonight? I never want to see you cry."

Edward's eyes never left mine as he waited for my answer. I was really okay with Carlisle's decision to remove Edward from my care, especially if it would keep Edward from any trouble, but I'd made a total ass out of myself with my self pity and weak self esteem. I should just go and let him live a normal and happy life without being encumbered by my poor attempt at trying to act like a normal person.

"I…I don't know what to say. I've made a mess out of us already by jumping to conclusions because it doesn't make sense for you to want me. I'm a damaged girl with an ugly skin disease. I'm never going to be what you deserve," I said sadly.

Edward closed the distance between our faces as his lips hovered over mine.

"I care about you, Isabella Swan. Never doubt that. I am going to work hard, every day to make you realize that you are beautiful, special and wanted. You think that I can't see past your psoriasis but you are so wrong, sweetheart. It's there and I know it's there…just like my crazy cowlicks and my thick glasses. But its part of you…and I want ALL of you," he said as his lips met mine. There is nothing more perfect on this earth than Edward Cullen's lips on mine.

I broke the kiss, panting. I needed to let him know how I felt. How loved I felt with him already.

"Your words mean so much to me, Edward. Thank you for saying them to me. I hate that I'm so broken but I promise to try and get better. For myself. For us. You make me feel like a princess and you are truly my Prince Charming. I feel beautiful when we are together…I've never felt like I do when I'm with you. I care so much for you already. My heart broke with the thought of never being with you like this again."

I wanted to tell him that I loved him but it was too soon for that.

"You'll never have to feel like that again, Bella. I promise."

Our lips met once again, this time with more force, our tongues battling for dominance. Edward wound one hand in my hair to deepen the kiss as I pulled him even closer by his scrub top. His free hand began traveling down till it rested over my heart. I mimicked his action and placed a hand over his heart.

"My heart belongs to you," Edward whispered when our lips left parted.

"Mine is yours as well," I replied and he kissed me softly once more.

It was extremely late and we both had to get up early tomorrow. We stood from the ground and I grabbed my bag. So much had happened and been said this night that we were both tired. Hopefully tonight was the last night we'd spend with such drama and pain overwhelming us.

We walked quietly hand in hand across the campus until we made it to the steps in front of Pattison. I didn't want him to go but I knew we had to part ways for the night.

"I wish now I lived in the dorms," Edward said with a chuckle. "I don't want to leave."

I smiled back at him, "Me too. I don't want you to go but I know you have to."

"Promise me that we will make time to talk every day. I don't want to go one day without hearing your voice," Edward said as he put his arms around my waist.

"I promise. I need to hear your voice too. Call me or text me as often as you can. Maybe we can work out some time this weekend to be together."

"I was planning on taking you out Saturday night if you're free. I'd like to wine and dine my girlfriend without my siblings and their significant others hovering over us. Can I pick you up here at six?"

"Yes, that sounds wonderful. Um, if it's fancy let me know now so I can find something to wear. Up till a few weeks ago my wardrobe consisted of jeans, sweats and tee shirts."

"You could wear a burlap sack and be the hottest woman in the entire restaurant."

I laughed and it felt so good to finally feel happy again.

"Seriously, I left all my potato sacks in Phoenix."

Edward smiled that crooked smile that made my panties combust.

"Well, if that's true then you just wear something nice that you are comfortable in. The restaurant is on the classy side."

"Mr. Cullen, it's a date. I guess I better get inside. Alice will already be ready for a long inquisition as to my whereabouts with you all night."

"She's something, that Alice. But you're right. It's after midnight and I've got class at eight. I need to go but I want one last kiss before I leave."

I stood on my tiptoes since he was a foot taller than I was and he closed the gap quickly encasing his lips with mine in a sweet dance.

"Good night, beautiful. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Good night, Edward. Sweet dreams."

"They will be, Bella, sweet dreams of you. Now, get yourself inside so I know you're safe."

I watched him walk away from inside the lobby. The way he made me feel inside should be illegal. I felt lost when he was out of sight but knew he was just a text or call away. I didn't want to appear needy.

I made my way upstairs to my room. Quietly, I opened the door and was met by two sets of eyes.

"Where in the hell have you been, Bella! You didn't answer your phone and neither did Edward. I thought you'd been abducted or something! I even had Jasper and Emmet looking for you!" Alice demanded. Rose was standing behind her with her arms crossed.

"Sorry, guys. Edward met me at the library. We talked and time got away from us. I'm sorry I worried you guys. I'm just used to being a loner," I said but I felt like crap about causing them trouble.

"We were just worried, Bella. There are some not so nice people on this campus. Last year there were several assaults on women here and they never caught the guy. We always need to watch each other's back. I'll text the guys to let them know you and Edward are okay," Rose replied as she grabbed her cell.

My thoughts went immediately to Jacob. He didn't assault me but I knew he could have overpowered me in an instant. I didn't want to worry the girls any more than I already had so I kept my mouth shut about that ordeal. It was nothing anyway and my fault for being so clumsy. I sure didn't want to upset Edward and I knew Alice would call him stat.

"I know it was bad of me not to check in when it got late but we had some heavy talking to do and I didn't realize it was after midnight till I got back here. My phone was on silent from the library."

"Is everything okay? I knew Edward was anxious to meet up with you but he didn't say why," Alice asked with the anger gone now from her voice.

"Yeah, um, he kind of got in a mess at work because he started seeing his patient…"

"Carlisle chewed Edward's ass over it?" Rose questioned.

"Oh man…Mom is gonna FREAK over that!" Alice said.

"No, there wasn't anything like that I don't think. He met with Dr. Stewart and Carlisle today and they told him it was best if he relieved himself from my care. Carlisle is going to take over. I just freaked out on Edward and thought he was breaking up with me. It got ugly but it was all me…and we're okay now."

"Well, thank God. I couldn't stand anymore of Edward's emo attitude. But I bet Esme rips Carlisle a new one," Rose giggled.

"Um, I hope not. I don't want to be the cause of any more problems, Rose."

"Oh, Mom will handle Dad. No worries. Well peeps, I'm hitting the hay. Gotta get my beauty rest."

"Me too. Goodnight, Bella. Sleep tight."

"Goodnight guys."

I grabbed my pj's and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower. I was so blessed to have such caring friends and would have to remember to be more considerate. I was also blessed with Edward. He is so much more to me than I ever expected.

After my shower and bedtime rituals were complete I crawled into my bed. I was worn out but so happy. I got my cell from my bag and saw all the missed calls and text messages and cleared them out of the phone. I didn't need to know how upset they'd been. As I set the alarm I got a text message that made me smile as I pulled the covers up to sleep.

'_Sleep well, my Bella. I will be dreaming of chocolate brown eyes and your intoxicating kisses tonight. 3 Edward'_

_**EPOV**_

I entered my apartment, bone tired from a cluster-fuck of a day. I'd hurt Bella when I swore to myself that was something I'd never do. It wouldn't happen again. She was too special to me to ever see that look of pain and anguish on her face. I knew now without a shred of doubt that I was irrevocably in love with Bella Swan. It was too soon, but yet the feelings were there. I couldn't say the words yet, though, especially not tainted by the events of the night. Soon though…soon I would tell her.

I set the coffee pot so tomorrow I'd have my caffeine and then went to set my alarm when I saw there were several frantic messages from Alice and Emmet. It was too late to call tonight and I'm sure they knew everything was okay when Bella made it in safely. I'd forgotten how protective Alice can be. I sent out a mass text to Emmet, Jasper, Rose and Alice to tell them not to berate Bella over tonight. She'd been through enough. Then I sent my sweet Bella a goodnight text. This weekend can't come soon enough.

**Alrighty! Now we can move on to the date now that we have all that resolved. I did check the AMA Guidelines and they are not really clear about the actual punishment that Edward could have gotten but from what I know from working in a hospital for many years, doctor/patient relationships are frowned upon while the doctor is in that position. It's okay once the patient isn't seeking medical care from the doctor anymore. Clear as mud? Yeah, me too. And for the record, Edward IS still a med school student but he's technically a second year student so he would be starting clinical rotations in a doctor role. Poor Bella is a basket case…but she's weak and has NO self-esteem so let see if Edward can help her fix that. He's thinking L_O_V_E too. Hmmmm…wonder if there is anyone that would like to break these two apart anytime soon? For you Jake lovers…sorry. He's not gonna be good guys, I'm afraid. Let me know what you think! Reviews are like long, hot kisses with Edward…or Rob. Remember to catch me on Twitter at "" lakermom 37. All together…no "" and no spaces. **


	14. Chapter 14

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 14

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment. **

**A/N: WOW! Again, I am blown away with the response to this story so far. It warms my heart to have people read what has been bouncing around in my brain for so long. So thanks to you all so much for the PM's, alerts, and reviews. I will try to keep this ball rolling. Not sure how long this will be yet…but we still have lots to cover. Anyhow, want to send some FF love to my "crew behind the scenes" twimom817 and kare831. You guys make this all work…and I'm truly grateful. Once again, I'm sorry for the screw up with the chapter numbers but all my chapters ARE THERE just one chapter off from where they should be (ex. Chapter 2 is the beginning, chap 3 is really chap 2 and so on)…I can't fix unless I delete and repost all 15 chapters. Ugh…Now, on with the story…**

_**BPOV**_

I was startled from the best dream by the annoying sound of the alarm. The scene in my head floated away like mist over a valley and no matter how hard I tried, the details became murkier the more awake I became. I groaned in frustration as I flung myself out if the bed.

"What's the matter, Bella? Not sleep well?" Alice asked as she walked past from her shower.

"Just not ready to wake up, I guess."

"Well, you had a long night, Bella. Maybe tonight you'll get more sleep," Rose replied as she grabbed her book bag, along with an overnight bag and went to the door. "Oh, Em and I won't be back here tonight. Just FYI. We're going to my parent's house for Dad's birthday and will just stay there."

"Ok, Rose. Be careful. Tell your dad Happy Birthday from us! See ya tomorrow," Alice said as she started getting dressed.

"Yeah, you two have fun," I said as I went to my closet.

Rose waved goodbye as she left and Alice turned her attention to me when she was through getting dressed.

"Alright, Bella. I know you aren't as close to Rose so I wanted her to leave before I had my little chat with you."

I cringed and shut my eyes. "What do you want to talk about?"

Alice walked over and led me to the bed to sit and she took a seat by me. My mind was going a million miles an hour. What is _this_ all about?

"Before you get all freaky on me, I thought you might want to talk a little more about Edward and what happened last night."

All I wanted to do was forget last night…well most of it anyway. I was a hot mess and I knew it. Jumping to conclusions. Over-reacting. Making Edward feel bad when all he wanted was to tell me something simple. My heart clenched with the fear that I had almost shattered everything with my stupidity.

"Alice. Really, let's not relive all that again. Please? I was wrong and feel terrible over it, especially for your brother."

Alice just patted my hand. "Bella, you're not the first girl to have a melt down and you won't be the last. We are blessed with hormones that make us a little crazy. I'm concerned about you, though. Edward texted me…well all of us, and asked us not to berate you over what happened."

If it were possible to feel any worse, there it was. I'd worried Edward with my break down. Now he has the rest of the guys on high alert. I dropped my head in my hands and groaned.

"See? This is what I was afraid of. I thought I'd try but I don't know how to do _this._ All that becomes of it is me being weak and whiny."

"Talk to me Bella. Let me in that brain of yours. You can't keep trying to fight this all on your own. I want to help you. Please."

I lifted my head and looked into Alice's pleading eyes and huffed out a breath.

"I'm afraid of not being good enough for Edward," I said so quietly it was almost a whisper. "He's had other girls. I don't know what to do when we're alone or what _he _expects in return. I will fail and I don't know if I can handle it, Alice."

Alice looked at me knowingly and grabbed my shaky hand.

"I know Edward, like I've said, better than anyone…even himself most times. He isn't like most guys. You don't need to worry about things that could happen. I know he's coming into this with both eyes open, Bella. He won't push you into anything you aren't ready for."

"I know he's a great guy, Alice. But he is a GUY…and even though I haven't any personal experience, I know he'll want to do more than kiss at some point. I don't know how to do any of those things or if I can be comfortable enough with myself to try!" I said as my face heated up in embarrassment and tears stung my eyes.

"Sweetie, those things you are worrying about are new to everyone at some point. Let this relationship flow naturally and everything else will fall into place. I promise."

"I don't know, Alice. I want to think that all you are saying is true but I don't know if I can let my inhibitions go like that. It's hard to feel sexy with red plaques dotting your skin. I'm a self-depreciating mess."

"Edward _has_ seen you, Bella, and he didn't run for the hills. He chose to see you _after_ he saw your skin. It obviously doesn't bother him in the least. Have you talked to him about this?"

I blanched and grabbed my chest, "No! I can't talk to him about…this stuff!"

Alice just shook her head.

"Give it time, Bella. When things happen or begin to happen, talk to him about your fears. I think you'll be surprised to learn that if you care for someone and they care for you as well, things become much easier to talk about."

Alice hugged me and got up from the bed.

"Now, get your ass out of bed and get ready for class."

I laughed as I wiped my eyes. Alice was just a breath of fresh air and pretty damn wise to boot. It was then that I remembered that I did need to ask her one more thing.

"Oh, Alice? I need to ask your opinion on something."

"Ok, shoot."

"Edward is taking me out Saturday for a dinner date. He said for me to dress up but be comfortable. Since this is our first real date, I want to look nice. Do you have any ideas?"

I'm surprised the glass in the entire dorm didn't shatter with the squeal that came from Alice's mouth. She looked like she'd explode any second.

"Why didn't you tell me already? Gah! Let me look through your closet tonight and see what I can find. I think you have some options there. If not, we can hit the mall real quick and find something spectacular!"

"Thank you Alice. We'll do that tonight."

I grabbed some clothes from the closet and went to get ready with a smile on my face. I was feeling better after our talk. Thank God for friends like Alice.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

_**EPOV**_

I went to class Tuesday with a much better outlook on life. After Bella had her panic attack last night I was afraid she'd bolt. She blamed herself for what had happened but I knew that I'd been the one who had handled it all wrong. I couldn't afford to do that again. I knew we were okay when I left her last night though, and I was counting the minutes till I would have her all to myself Saturday night. I couldn't wait.

Bella and I texted throughout the day, which was nice but I would be calling her tonight. I wanted to hear her voice. She needed more reassurance about us and that was something I had no problem doing. I guess to some, she would appear weak or needy but I was going to make sure she knew that I was in this for the long haul.

After my last class I decided to run by the store and grab a few things for the apartment. I was an epic failure at having food or drinks at my house, finding it easier to buy take out than cook for one. My plan was to take Bella out to a nice dinner at the Space Needle since she's new to Seattle. Then I was planning on taking her back to my place to have some drinks and maybe watch a movie…maybe things would progress on their own from there.

I parked around the corner from a market and liquor store. I wanted to get the ingredients for strawberry daiquiris, since Bella liked the one she had at Twilight. I was also running low on Bud Light. I took the alcohol to my car before I made my way back to the market for a few food items. As I turned the bend to enter the store again I heard the voice that made my blood as cold as ice.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the high and mighty Dr. Edward Cullen."

Damn.

I stopped walking and stood still as the skin on my neck prickled. I didn't want to fucking talk to her but I knew she wouldn't make things that simple. I gathered myself and turned to face the Bride of Satan herself.

"Tanya. I'd say it's nice to see you but we both know I'd be lying out my ass, I'll save us both the trouble," I said as I stood with my arms crossed.

Tanya threw her head back and laughed like I'd told the funniest joke she'd ever heard.

"Oh, Edward. You were always such a gentleman. A girl like me should swoon over such nice words. I know what would ease your tension. How about a little make up sex? Hmmm? I know a few things that we could do…"Tanya purred as she walked toward me like a lioness stalking her prey.

"What the hell?" I said as I stepped several steps back away from her.

"I wouldn't touch your disease-ridden, skanky ass with a ten foot pole attached to my dick covered by an industrial strength rubber. You were boning some fraternity freak in your dorm room while we were supposed to be dating and God only knows who or what else has been stuck in you since then. I have nothing nice to say to you, Tanya. We're done here so if you'd move, I have things to do."

Tanya looked at me venomously.

"Oh, of course. You still blame that whole incident on me. But if you'd think really hard about it you'd remember that YOU were the one that left ME alone. All of your classes and research took away from OUR time together. We were perfect for each other, Edward but I had needs…and I found someone that would fufill them when you weren't man enough to. So fuck you, Edward."

"Like I said no thanks. I have someone much better than you for that now."

Thankfully that was the end of our altercation. She stormed off in the opposite direction from my car so I abandoned my grocery trip for today. I was in a piss poor mood now. I wanted to get home and get a few Bud's in my system before I called Bella. I sure as hell didn't want to take any of this shit out on her.

_**BPOV**_

I grabbed a salad from the cafeteria and came back to the dorms after class so I could finish up my homework before Edward called. He said that he'd call me after dinner and I wanted to be free to talk so I told him to call me after seven. Alice had texted me earlier to tell me that she had found something for Saturday so I could mark that off my list of things to do. She was also going to hang out awhile with Jasper this evening since they had his dorm to themselves.

I was just finishing up my last paper when my phone rang.

"_Hello?"_

"_Hello beautiful. Do you have your homework done?"_

"_Yep. Just finished my World Lit paper. Did you have a good day?"_

There was a slight pause before he answered.

"_Uh, yeah. School was fine. I didn't get my grocery shopping done so I guess its canned tomato soup for me tonight."_

"_I thought you were going after class?"_

Another pause…Something's definitely up.

"_Well, I went but I didn't get anything. I um, got distracted and well, let's just say I wasn't in the shopping mood afterwards."_

I knew now that something had happened that he was trying to shield me from but I wasn't having that. After last night, I needed to learn to be stronger and less uncertain of myself. So I had to ask.

"_What in the world would make you abandon your shopping?"_

Edward let out a long sigh.

"_Bella. Can we talk about something else?"_

"_Edward, someone or something upset you bad enough to make you abruptly change your plans. Tell me what happened or my mind is going to make up some outlandish story on its own."_

"_Okay. But you have to promise not to get upset."_

Oh great. This must be bad.

"_I'm not going to fall apart on you again, Edward. Just tell me."_

"_I ran into Tanya today outside of the market."_

What? Tanya…as in his ex-girlfriend, Tanya? I was stunned silent. I didn't know what to say to that but I promised him that I wouldn't be upset so I was going to try really hard not to be. Tanya was probably everything that I'm not.

"_Bella? Say something. Please."_

"_I, um…so you ran into your ex-girlfriend. I, uh, don't know what to say."_

"_I don't want any secrets between us, okay? I wasn't even going to bring it up but you deserve to know. Nothing happened, Bella. She wanted to start shit with me and I told her to fuck off. That was it. I was too mad to shop so I came home. Trust me when I say I'd rather have run into the devil himself than her."_

"_Wow, I'm sorry. That must have been difficult for you. But you need to eat. I can't think about you being hungry over there all alone."_

"_She means nothing to me. She just caught me off guard. And no worries. I have enough frozen or canned food to eat on for a few days. I won't be starving. I'll run to Wal-Mart or Kroger after classes Thursday. I wish you were here though to share my tomato soup with."_

I giggled. I couldn't think of somewhere I'd rather be than in Edward's apartment sharing soup with him. Was that weird? Maybe so.

"_Such a sweet talker…trying to buy my affection with soup."_

"_I'm highly capable of sweeping you off your feet, Bella, with or without soup. Just you wait and see."_

"_That sounds really nice, Dr. Cullen. I've never been wooed before."_

And I giggled like a school girl again.

"_Miss Swan, I will be honored to be your first and hopefully your only woo."_

Oh my. This has taken a turn that I wasn't expecting. My face is on fire but if he wants to talk like this with me I need to reciprocate. I'm just glad Alice and Rose aren't anywhere close by. I'd die.

"_I have no plans of being wooed by anyone else."_

Silence and breathing. Oh no. I've said too much. Crap!

"_That's good to know Bella. I don't want anyone else even thinking about you in that way. I don't share. God, I wish you were here. It drives me crazy to be so far away from you."_

"_I miss you too. But we'll see each other Saturday. Which, by the way Alice says she has an outfit for me."_

"_I am literally counting the minutes until I can kiss you again. I wish it was feasible to come over there now but unfortunately it isn't tonight. I have to work on a research paper later. I guess I need to go do that but I will miss your sweet voice."_

"_I feel the same. But absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?"_

"_I'm pretty fond already. More than I can say. Listen, I'm going to get off now. Get off the phone. I meant. Shit. Um, I'll text you later, okay?"_

"_Okay. I'll talk to you later. Bye."_

"_Bye, beautiful."_

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

It took me less time to figure out where that hot piece of ass lived that it takes most people to send a text message. She was clueless to anyone around her when she walked back to her dorm tonight. All alone. What a fuckin' shame.

I kept my distance as I stalked her all day. She was going to be an easy one to get to. I just needed to bide my time. She did have a few friends that I'd seen her out with so the timing had to be just right. She has been on my mind ever since our little encounter on the quad and she was going to be mine. Soon.

Last night I saw her go to the library and I was going to make my move on her then but she stayed in there longer than I expected her to. I went back to my car and sped off to my place before I got to see which dorm she lived in. But I know now.

Pattison Hall.

**Well, my pretties? A little drama is unfolding. And there is a date coming up. Lots going on…Leave me some love…reviews are like being wooed by Edward. **


	15. Chapter 15

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 15

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to use them for my own personal enjoyment.**

**A/N: Firstly, I want to thank EVERYONE that has stuck with me on this story. Somehow during my last edit and upload, Chapter 1 got deleted and when I went to replace it, well lets just say I made one HUGE mess…I had to delete the entire story and repost the chapters one by one. NOW they are in correct but Chap 2-4 will remain unbeta'd for now. I lost 70+ reviews and those who had me on story alert are getting a dead link. I hate that it happened and I hope that those folks find me again. **

**Secondly, WHAT ABOUT BREAKING DAWN Part One! I LOVED IT…have seen it twice as of today…maybe more by the time I get this chapter posted. Bill Condon and his crew made this movie PERFECT within the PG-13 guidelines. Those of us that want more "thrusting" will just have to get that here on FF. Lol. **

**Lastly but not least, humble thanks and so much gratitude as always to my girls, kare831 and twimom817 for doing all they do for LDTW. Love ya'll! Now, on with the story.**

_**BPOV**_

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a basket case by Friday morning. I couldn't get my mind off of Saturday and that was causing havoc to my nerves. A formal date alone with Edward…I may throw up.

Alice and Rose have been lifesavers, though. Their words of encouragement haven't fallen on deaf ears and they've managed to keep me from a major freak out. Now, I just need to get through today and half of tomorrow. Thirty-six hours.

Edward and I have talked every night and texted back and forth all week. He's the sweetest man and I'm a lucky girl. He won't give me any details on our date, even though I've begged for information. I don't always do well with surprises. I suspect Alice knows but she's not saying a word. Damn that Alice!

Rose and Alice have collaborated and gotten my outfit picked out and will be helping me get ready. Although I've gotten fairly good at my day-to-day attire, this date special and I want to look as good as I can for Edward. I haven't seen what they have set aside for me yet … they said I'd find out when it was time.

I go through my morning ritual and decide on a casual day, even though Alice thinks every day is a dress up event. I dress in a U Dub long sleeved tee, a pair of skinny jeans and a light jacket. I grab my cell and noticed a text from Edward the night before and a voicemail from Renee. I would listen to her call later tonight because there was no telling how long her message was. I smile as I punch out a quick good morning back to Edward. Afterwards I grab my bag, say good bye to the girls and leave for the day.

Friday classes keep me busy with no extra time to talk or text Edward but I know his Fridays are the same. I have a full day, with a short break around one so I get something quick for lunch and go out to the quad to soak in some rays while I eat. Edward is already at the clinic so I decide not to text him till later. There is an open picnic table close to my next class so I make myself comfy and eat lunch while I read some Austen.

"Mind if I share your table?" asks a male voice from behind me.

I motion with my hand without looking up from my book. There's plenty of room for two.

"Sure. I'm alone so it's no problem. I only have a few minutes anyhow."

"Thanks."

I hear him take a seat across from me and then silence. I stop reading and take a quick glance to see who was sitting at the table and my heart catches in my throat.

Jacob.

He is staring intently at me with his dark eyes and it is unnerving. I want to get up and leave but my butt is molded to the seat. I can feel my heartbeat in my throat.

"Bella. I was wondering when we'd run into each other again."

Calm, Bella. Stay calm. He's just a guy and you need to get past your issues. This is a good opportunity. Plus, he was nice to you so why not return the favor?

"Uh, yeah. I've been around. Um, thanks for keeping me on my feet the other day, Jacob."

"No problem and you can call me Jake," Jacob said as he leaned closer to me smiling. "You were a damsel in distress and I was in the right place at the right time."

I smiled a little, suddenly feeling more comfortable. His smile is so warm. He seems harmless and it's unfair of me to be rude for no reason.

"Yes, you were that. I'm sorry if I wasn't real friendly to you afterwards. I have a hard time meeting new people but I'm working on that."

Jake leaned back some and looked at the books I had out on the table.

"No worries. A girl can't be too careful. So, are you an English major? Either that or you have a book fetish," he stated as he bit into his sandwich.

"Oh. Yes, I'm an English Literature major. I want to write some day. What about you?"

"I'm undecided so I'm just taking a few classes here and there. I like the scenery here at U Dub."

We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes when my phone buzzed alerting me that I had ten minutes till my next class. So, I cleaned up my mess and stood to leave.

"Going so soon, Bella?"

"Yeah, sorry. I have two more classes this afternoon. It was good talking to you, Jake. See you around."

Jake made no move to get up but kept his eyes locked on mine as he grinned at me.

"I'm sure you will, Bella. Have a good rest of the day."

I smiled and gave a timid wave as I left.

The rest of the day went by quickly and I was relieved to finally collapse on my bed that evening. Rose had left me a note on my pillow that she and Alice were up in the guys' room, if I wanted to come up and watch a movie. I was about to send her a text when my cell rang. I couldn't help the smile that broke out on my face when I saw who the call was from.

"_Hey, Dad. What's up?"_

"_Not much, Bells. I just thought I'd call and see how you were doing."_

"_I'm great, Dad. Just got in from classes. How've you been?"_

"_Well, I can't complain. Listen, I got a call from your Mom this morning. Have you talked to her?" _

Shit! I forgot that I had a voicemail this morning. I hadn't taken the time to listen to it yet.

"_Yeah, she called me sometime last night but she left a message that I haven't had time to listen to yet. Is there something wrong?"_

"_Nope. She just called to see if she could ship some of your stuff up here to me before she put the rest in storage. I guess Phil got drafted to that team in Florida. I told her that was fine. We can store your stuff in your old room."_

Crap. I knew this was a possibility but I hadn't given much thought to lately.

"_Wow. Um, okay. I guess I need to call Mom and see when this all is to take place. _

_Thanks for calling me, Dad."_

"_Yep. Well, I'll let you get back to it. Talk to you soon, Bells."_

"_Okay, Dad. Bye."_

I hung up and groaned out loud. I was hoping for all this to happen closer to a holiday break and now it looks like a flight to Phoenix is in the near future along with a trip to Forks. I listened to Mom's voicemail that was five full minutes long, as she gushed about the weather in Florida and the cute little beach house they were going to rent until they sold the house in Arizona. She ended with the request to call her tonight before I went to bed.

Phoenix. The only home I'd ever really known and now it's going to be gone. I know I have Charlie's house in Forks but that hasn't been my home since I was four. I decided to go ahead and call Mom to get this out of the way since she was three hours ahead of me. I love her, but I dread the call already.

"_Bella! I was afraid you didn't get my message."_

"_Yeah, sorry about that and it being so late for you, Mom. I've had classes all day and I just got time to call. I just got off the phone with Dad, actually."_

"_Yes, I talked to Charlie earlier to ask him about moving some of your more important things to Forks. I think that will be best for you. Whatever else you want to keep will have to go to storage. The beach house isn't big enough to store too much extra."_

"_I understand. When do I need to meet up with you in Phoenix?"_

"_Oh, honey. I'm not sure but probably in a few weeks. We want to get settled in here first. Why don't I call you next week when we have more definitive plans? Okay?" _

"_Okay. Just make sure to give me some time to plan. I don't have a car here, you know."_

"_Alright, baby girl. We'll get everything sorted so don't you worry. I miss you and love you."_

"_Love you too. Bye."_

I was mentally exhausted by the time I got off the phone with both parents. My stomach was in knots already and now I have to add the move to the mix. All I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and sleep but I hadn't spent any time with Emmet and Jasper lately so I thought I'd better make an appearance. They are just as important to me as Rose and Alice are.

I grabbed my phone and called Edward first. I didn't want him to worry and I needed to hear his voice.

"_Hello, beautiful. I was hoping you'd call."_

"_Hey. Yeah, I got in awhile ago but I had a call from Mom and one from Dad so I am just getting free."_

"_Is everything okay, Bella?"_

"_Yeah, I guess. Mom and Phil found out that he made the baseball team in Jacksonville. Now I have to go to Phoenix in a few weeks and pack my things for storage and take what I want to keep close by to Forks. The timing just sucks and with no vehicle I'm not sure how to go about it all. I'm losing the only home I've known and its kind of upsetting."_

"_I know you don't have a car right now but I do, as does Alice, Rose, Jazz and Em. One of us will see you safely to the airport or whatever. I hate that you're upset. I wish I could make it all go away. I know it must be hard for you."_

"_Oh, I'll make it. I just hate being a bother to everyone. Changing the subject how was your day?"_

"_Bella, you're no bother. I want you to stop thinking that. Okay? And my day was busy. I had five patients today and they were all challenging. I'm glad it's Friday and that I get to see you tomorrow night."_

"_I'm glad too. I miss you."_

"_Bella, I miss you too. Damn…I want you here with me now."_

"_That'd be nice. I'd like to see your place someday. And I um, I miss your kisses."_

"_You will see it soon, I promise. Your lips will be seeing mine up close and personal in less than twenty-four hours. We have all week to make up for, Bella."_

Swoon.

"_Edward, you're making me melt. Damn, I hate to go but I promised the guys I'd meet up and watch a movie. Text me before you go to bed?"_

"_I will, and I want you to go and have a good time. I'll talk to you tomorrow."_

"_Alright. Um, goodnight, Edward."_

"_Goodnight, beautiful."_

I changed into some plaid sleep pants and grabbed my phone as I headed out to the elevator. It was unusually quiet for a Friday night in the dorm…a little spooky. I blew that thought from my mind and waited patiently for the World's Slowest Elevator to arrive to take me up to the guy's room. A little friend time tonight will be good. Tomorrow is going to be the best day ever.

_**EPOV**_

It's been one damn long week and it's finally Friday night. It's been too many hours since I've laid eyes on my Bella. Yeah, we've talked on the phone everyday and sent texts to each other many times, but it's not the same as holding her in my arms and tasting the sweetness of her kisses. Yes, I have likely fallen too fast for Bella but it is what it is. School and work have kept us apart all week but I'll have her all to myself in a little over a day. I can't fucking wait.

As I sit on my couch, nursing my beer and flipping through countless channels of garbage on my TV, my thoughts keep drifting to the innocent brunette beauty that has entered my life. My traitorous cock has been at constant alert all night and I know that it's just a matter of time before I trudge to the shower and give him some attention before I burst out of my jeans. Dammit to hell!

I know in my mind that we are nowhere near _that place_ in our relationship_. _Hell, it's only been a few weeks since I met her the first time in my Dad's office, even though I feel like I have been waiting a century for her to come into my life. So, I don't think that I will be getting any relief from my now constant case of blue-balls that isn't self-induced anytime soon.

Bella is not one of _those_ girls for sure. I'm her first male relationship and she's still not sure of what to say or do. It's really cute but I wish she knew that I'm not expecting her to say or do anything…I just want things to progress at her speed. Slow and steady wins the race, right? But I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't hoping for a quick learning curve. I know Big Ed is getting _way_ too familiar with my right hand and I'm starting to worry about developing carpal tunnel.

All these years of abstinence and not giving a shit about the opposite sex haven't really bothered me at all. I just didn't care about taking that risk again no matter who tried to set me up or who came on to me. The huge gaping hole in my chest was dormant for so long. One meeting with Bella changed all that. I can't explain what I feel when I think of her or when I hold her in my arms. There's a spark…a force that draws me to her. It's scary as hell to have these feelings already, but not unwelcome. I think she feels the same way…God I hope she does.

I've planned a somewhat cheesy first date but I want Bella to experience the romance that she deserves. The Space Needle is somewhat cliché if you're from Seattle, but the whole ambiance of Sky City and the observation deck is something to behold at night. Dinner, flowers, dancing then back to my place…that's my plan. I hope she likes it.

I've spoken to Alice this week as well to run through my plans since I'm just a little rusty on the whole dating scene. I'm not going for anything over the top, but after the whole 'woo' conversation earlier this week I intend to keep my promise. She thinks that what I have planned is perfect for Bella. She's also threatened my testicles if I do anything to hurt her. I love that Pixie.

As if Bella didn't have enough on her mind already, now she is worried about her Mom's move across the country and where that leaves her in the grand scheme of things. I _will_ make sure that she's taken care of. She need not worry about that. Maybe I can take a few days off and drive her to Phoenix myself? I like that idea the more that I think about it…hmmm.

It's close to midnight and my brain is finally tired enough to attempt some sleep. I want a good night's sleep before I take Bella out tomorrow night. So I send a quick 'goodnight' text to Bella since we'd talked earlier and I knew she was hanging out with Alice, Emmet, Jasper and Rose. After I was done I went ahead and locked up, set the coffee pot before making my way to bed via the shower…yeah, I'm the cleanest guy in Seattle.

_**JBPOV**_

I've waited all evening for her to reappear from her room and I was rewarded for my patience. That girl is hot as hell tonight in those baggy plaid pants and that tight t-shirt. And she has no idea that I'm just around the corner watching her wait for the elevator. My breathing accelerates and my dick is instantly hard as I watch her. Hell, I've been rock hard since I spent those few minutes with her earlier today. This is going just according to plan. For now, I need to build her trust and just bide my time.

**Thanks for sticking with me! Like Edward said earlier, "slow and steady" … RL has been a little crazy lately with not much writing time. Let me know if you like or dislike. I love getting PM's and reviews and I'd love to see those numbers back up to where they were before I had to repost. I hope to get a few chaps out over the Thanksgiving holiday since I'm off Wednesday afternoon through Monday. Also, there are several good auctions and charities in the Fandom right now with my girls, kare831 and twimom817 having written some for their cause. Check them out, their stories rock. You won't be disappointed! Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving this week to all the readers in the U.S. **


	16. Chapter 16

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 16

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment.**

**A/N: Happy Thanksgiving weekend to all my readers that celebrates. Thanks as always for all the nice reviews, PM's and alerts for this story. It makes my day when I hear that "ding" from my email showing something new. Heartfelt thanks to my great pre-reading/beta team, kare831 and twimom817, for putting up with my imperfect grammar, endless paragraphs and problems with past and present tense. This wouldn't be possible without their skills. Also a big hug to vbfb19 (mel k) for making me an awesome banner for LDTW. I plan on posting it to my blogspot, "Edwards My Obsession 71"as soon as my laptop gets repaired…You can also find me on Twitter…lakermom37.**

_**EPOV**_

Sunlight filters through the blinds as I roll and stretch languidly in my queen sized bed. It's too much bed for one person, but I'm a little spoiled and like having the room to move around. I look to the window and smile. Thank God it's going to be a pretty day in blustery Seattle. This will make execution of the perfect date much easier than the normal autumn rain and wind. Wait … did I just think "execution" and "perfect date" in the same sentence? What the…

I shake my head and chuckle to myself. Nope, my nerves aren't going to get me today. I have this shit planned to a T. The restaurant has my reservations for a private area on the observation deck at seven and the florist is delivering the flowers there at six forty-five. I'm picking Bella up at Pattison at six-thirty so everything should be ready when we arrive. I'm not nervous, just anxious.

I want this to be a night that she'll remember since she hasn't ever had the experience of a first date. What a shame that is. No prom … no dad threatening a guy with a shot gun … nothing. No one has given her a second glance. What shallow idiots must live in Phoenix to miss out on such a girl! Well by damn she's all mine now, asshats.

Alice has called me several times to make sure that I'm wearing the suggested ensemble that was demanded of me earlier in the week…something about coordinating and not clashing colors. Hell, the last time we talked Bella didn't even _know_ what she was wearing let alone the color. It was under some kind of Fort Knox security or something. I have assured Pix several times that I'm wearing the gray slacks, white dress shirt and gray jacket that were asked of me. I draw the line at a tie unless it's required. I'm not terribly vain but I want to look good for Bella.

I slipped on a pair of lounge pants over my boxers and a white tee shirt and make my way to the kitchen. I look at the clock on the microwave as I grab my first cup of black coffee and determine that in about ten hours the wait will be over. Plenty of time for a workout and doing some last minute housecleaning before I have to get ready.

_Knock-knock_

Who the hell is here at eight A.M. on a Saturday?

"Edward? Are you up? It's Mom."

I smile as I walk to the door and open it.

"Hey, Mom. Come in," I say as she breezes past me with bags in each hand. "Can I help you with the bags?"

Mom just waves me off and sets them on the bar.

"Nope. I just thought I'd stop by with some things for you. I tried to call but I didn't reach you. Is this a bad time?"

"It's never a bad time to see you, Mom. Sorry about the call. I turned off my cell while it's charging in the bedroom. Want some coffee?"

"That'd be great. Black though…I'm trying to cut back on the sugar," Mom replied as she began unloading fresh fruit and veggies onto the counter. "You need to quit eating so much processed foods and start eating right, Edward. You're not too young to worry about heart disease and high blood pressure."

"Uh, Mom, I'm a med school student, almost a doctor. I understand about eating right," I answer with a smirk as I grab a coffee mug out of the cabinet.

"Well, you couldn't tell it by what I see here. Canned soup and coffee is ALL you have. I brought you real food from the store and also some things I cooked that can be frozen till you want to eat them."

Damn. My mind immediately reverts back to earlier this week and the run in with Tanya.

"Yeah, about that," I start sheepishly as I pour her coffee. "I went to the grocery store earlier this week but I ran into Tanya there. We had words and I got pissed and left before I bought my stuff. I've been eating take-out all week. Thanks for bringing me food and especially your home cooking."

Mom stopped filling the fridge and shelves as I handed her a mug of coffee. There was no love lost with Mom about Tanya after we broke up and she blames her solely for my lack of dating interest the past few years. She'd be correct in that respect. I could tell she was weighing her next words carefully.

"Edward, I know Tanya hurt you, but it's a good thing it happened then and not later in the relationship. She was self-centered and tacky, certainly not daughter-in-law material in my book. I've been so worried that you'd never give love a chance again. But now you've found Bella. She's such a sweet and genuine young woman with so much to give. I hope you give her a chance, sweetheart."

"Yeah, Tanya was a big kick to my manhood and I wasn't sure if I wanted to ever try at a relationship again, but it's all good now. Bella _is_ special to me. In fact she and I have our first official date tonight," I said with a sly grin. Three … two … one.

"Oh, that's wonderful! I'm thrilled for you both! What are your plans?" Esme asked excitedly as she came to stand by me in the doorway. Aha! Alice obviously gets the hyperactive gene from the Mason side of the family. I just shook my head and laughed at Mom's actions.

"Well, I think the plans will meet your approval, Mom. I'm doing the classic Wine and Dine date. I'm taking her to Sky City for flowers, dinner and dancing. Pixie has even told me what to wear. Afterwards, I want to bring her back here to the apartment to wind down and maybe watch a movie or whatever before I take her back to U Dub. In fact, I was just getting ready to start cleaning before you got here."

Mom threw her arms around me and kissed my cheek. "I'm so proud of all three of my kids, but you've been the unhappy one for so long. This makes me so happy." After we broke the hug she looked around the apartment and rolled up the sleeves to her top. "Now, let's get busy cleaning this bachelor pad."

Several hours later, the apartment was spotless from top to bottom. Hey, I'm not a slob but living alone does make me procrastinate on cleaning every day. Mom made sure there were fresh sheets on the beds and clean towels in the bathroom while I got the daiquiri mix prepped and chilling in the fridge. When Mom was satisfied with our work, she hugged me again, wished me luck and left with a huge smile on her face asking me to call her tomorrow and let her know how things went.

It was mid-day when Mom left so I went to the kitchen and warmed up a plate of food for lunch. I wanted to call Bella before I got too busy this afternoon so I figured now was a good time.

"_Hello?"_

"_Hello, beautiful. How's your day been so far?"_

"_Wow. Busy. Alice thinks I need six hours to get ready for tonight. I'm hiding in the bathroom to talk to you."_

"_Good grief! Tell her to back down or would you rather I call her? Is Rose bugging you too?"_

"_Oh, its okay, Edward. Alice means well. Rose just sits back and laughs at us."_

"_Alright I just don't want her wearing you out. She can be a little crazy sometimes. I'm counting down the hours, Bella. Six hours and counting."_

"_I know me too. I can't wait. Can't you please give me a clue to where you're taking me? The suspense is killing me!"_

"_Not a chance. Now, I'm going to go and finish a few things up around here. Relax awhile and I'll see you at six-thirty, okay?"_

"_Okay. Alice and Rose have made me a spa appointment at one so maybe I can rest afterwards. I guess I need to go before I get attacked by my room mates. See you later tonight."_

"_I can't wait much longer for tonight. Have fun at the spa, Bella."_

After the call, I went to my office and checked my emails and finished a paper for class. I didn't want the distraction of that looming over the weekend. I skipped my normal workout today since I busted my ass cleaning the place. The next thing I knew it was three. Time for a quick nap in the recliner before getting ready. Three more painfully slow hours…

_**BPOV**_

Operation Bella's Date began at nine in the morning. I was awake, but resting quietly thinking about tonight when Alice came and pulled the covered off of me.

"Hey! I'm resting here!" I said annoyed. I'm so not a morning person.

"No time for resting now. We need to get coffee and breakfast in your system. Go get your shower and put on some comfy clothes. Don't worry about shaving."

"Okay. Jeez! Um, wait … don't shave … what?" I responded confused as I rolled out of the bed. Don't shave?

"Look, Bella. I'm not trying to be a bitch but there are so many things to be done, I don't want to be in a rush. We've made an appointment for you at the Essential Day Spa at one. Rose and I are going as well so don't worry. They are going to take care of all your needs and any unwanted hair."

"WHAT unwanted hair!"

Rose stepped around the wall and sat on my bed. She shot Alice a warning glare and Alice just huffed and sat beside her.

"Alice, let me explain this, okay? You're freaking her out," Rose said to Alice and then turned her attention to me. "Bella, I know you've never taken time for yourself because you didn't see the need. The spa is a perfect way to relax you and pamper your body and mind as well. We called our spa and they have a special program for psoriasis sufferers. You will be alone with your therapist. If this bothers you, then we can cancel, but I think you need to do this for YOU."

"What exactly are they planning to do to me, Rose?" I asked in a panic. Unwanted hair? What? Oh! Unwanted hair … _there_!

"They will give you a facial and massage and also do a special mud bath that is supposed to help calm your skin and remove any flakes. A stylist is going to wash your hair and prep it for later. We've scheduled a Brazilian wax too. That removes all your body hair from armpits to your … "

"Okay, I get it. Um, do guys really like you bare, you know … _down there_? Won't that, um hurt?" I asked with my telltale blush in full force. I've never talked about this type of thing with anyone!

"Beauty isn't always painless, Bella. It will probably sting a little but they will do the mud bath afterwards so that'll sooth the burn. And yes, every guy I've ever known likes a girl's body bare or almost bare. Alice and I get it done every few months and it gets easier each time," Rose replied soothingly.

"Um, I guess … if you guys think its best then I won't argue. I'm in your hands today and I want to look good for Edward so bring on the punishment."

Alice perked up and did a bounce on the bed, "Great! Now, chop, chop. Shower time!"

Edward called around noon and that calmed my nerves by just hearing his voice. I swear if he ever wanted a new career, he could sell himself for phone-sex because his voice is so velvety smooth. Gah, I'm getting worked up just thinking about that!

The girls and I got ready and left for the spa after Edward and I got off the phone. It was a beautiful place and I felt relaxed just going in. The girls let them know we'd arrived and I didn't get much chance to work myself up again before I was called back to begin my torture.

"Bella, my name's Kate and I'll be taking care of you today. Do you have any questions before we begin?" asked the gorgeous blonde with a slight accent as she led me back to a private room.

"Um, I guess not. I've never done this so I don't even know what to ask. I'm a little, um self-conscious."

"Sweetie, I understand. I've been where you are myself. No worries. Today will be a fun experience."

I looked up at the pretty woman and saw nothing but compassion on her face. How in the world could she understand me? She looks like a freakin' supermodel.

"I can see your question in your face, Bella so I'll go ahead and tell you about myself, okay? I was born in a small town in northern Russia. My family was poor and couldn't take care of me so I was placed in an orphanage for adoption. Babies were in high demand and I was placed with a family that couldn't have children within a few months of being born. The Denali's lived in Moscow and were a very affluent family there. I was loved and cared for just as if I'd been born to them. When I was sixteen I began noticing a rash on my arm that wouldn't go away. My parents took me to doctors and therapists with no results thinking I had a skin allergy or eczema. Within a few months, I was covered in scaly skin and open sores from my scratching. I was afraid that my parents would give me away because I had this horrible condition. I was embarrassed and shut myself off from everyone so I wouldn't have to hear the horrible comments or see the stares. My father's company opened a new operation in Alaska so we packed up and made the move when I was seventeen. There was a great dermatologist in Anchorage that took me under his care. He told me I had chronic psoriasis. It took months and lots of different treatments before we found something that my skin responded to. It gave me the resolve to want to help others like myself. That's why I do what I do, Bella. I do know how you feel." She pulled the sleeve up on her arm and I could see the pink areas of psoriasis scars marring her beautiful skin.

"Wow. I wouldn't have guessed it. You seem so confident in yourself. I'm sorry you had to suffer like that."

"It's alright. It made me stronger. I know it will never go away but it doesn't define me. In fact, I married a wonderful man a few years ago that loves me for who I am. So there are happy endings, Bella. Speaking of which, I hear that you have a hot date tonight and we wouldn't want to keep the gentleman waiting so let's get started," Kate replied with a smile. "Get undressed and lie on the table. Cover up with the sheet. I will get my things together and be right back."

I was amazed by Kate's story. I hope someday that I can be as strong as she is. She was wonderful to me throughout the afternoon, knowing when I needed a break or more encouragement. When we were done, I was totally relaxed, and hair-less. Rose was right that it hurt like a mother but now I wouldn't have to shave for awhile which is a great thing. Shaving legs with psoriasis is tricky and most always ends with nicks and bleeding. Luckily the mud bath eased the sting of having every surface with hair below my neck ripped off by the roots. The treatment made my skin glow and all the scales were gone from my skin. There is nothing that will completely remove the plaques so I'm very happy with the results. I hugged Kate and promised her that I'd keep in touch.

After we left, we stopped by a small bistro and ate soup and salad. It was nice just being out with the girls. I've missed out on that part of growing up. When we got back to the dorms I begged for a short nap before the last of the day's primping began. Lucky for me, Alice was feeling generous after I submitted to the Brazilian wax. Edward was picking me up at six-thirty, so at five Alice woke me up and told me to go wash my face and brush my teeth so I could start getting ready.

As I got freshened up, Alice went to her closet and finally brought out my outfit. It was truly gorgeous. She paired a light peach colored wrap that fastened with one snap just under my breasts over a form-fitting gray mock turtleneck finished by gray gaucho pants and black zippered knee- boots.

"Alice, you are the Yoda of fashion. This is perfect for me. Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome. Now let's see what it looks like on you. I have a few back up things in case it looks all wrong or you don't like the fit. I've also taken the liberty to set out the undergarments for the night," Alice said knowingly as she led me to the bathroom door. "Remember what I told you before, the things that you wear under helps build the confidence that you show on the outside."

She proceeded to give me a hand full of lace and the clothes. I blushed as I took the lacy garments from her hand. I remember Alice seeing these when we went shopping and I never thought I'd actually wear the blush colored set. And blush is what I did when I slid on the cheeky bottoms and push up bra. I felt like I was still naked but damn, if the bra didn't make my boobs look good even if I did consider them too small. I smiled at myself for thinking that way and quickly donned the rest of the outfit. Everything fit like a glove. I went out and asked the girls if I looked okay.

"Perfect! Edward will love it, but most importantly, do you love it?" Alice asked.

"I love it … the whole outfit, the hair, the makeup. Thanks so much, Alice!" I said as I hugged her gently as not to wrinkle my clothes.

"You're going to look stunning, Bella," Rose said as she led me to the vanity table. "Now let's get your hair and makeup done."

Rose began sectioning my hair to curl it. I was wearing it up in a loose twist with the tendrils around my face curling softly to frame my face.

"You have such pretty hair, Bella. So thick and shiny," Rose mused as she manned the curling iron.

"Thanks Rose. I've been lucky with the psoriasis so far and it hasn't gotten on my scalp. If it does, I'll have to use those tar-based shampoos that stain your clothes. I hope that never happens."

"Me too, Bella." I relaxed under her gentle touch and it seemed like just moments later when Rose said, "All done. You like?"

I opened my eyes and my jaw dropped. Gone was the mousy, shy girl that I was used to seeing in the reflection. Instead I saw bright eyes accentuated by smoky gray shadow and mascara, plump lips tinted slightly pink and rosy cheeks. The outfit complimented my skin tone.

"I'm amazed at what you two can do!" I exclaimed.

"Aw, Bella, we just work with what God gave you. Confidence is the key to pulling off beauty. And I'm confident that Edward is going to pass out when he sees you," Rose said.

"Pass out hell! He's gonna blow a load! Oh, I almost forgot!" Alice said as she dug through her jewelry box. "You need a little bling to complete the ensemble."

Alice brought out a thick silver chain with a simple circle charm and the earrings to match. She handed them to me and I gasped as I put them on. She was right as Alice always is. Now I looked like a complete package. I turned to Rose and Alice to see them both smiling at my reaction.

"I want to thank you both again for taking me under your wings. I know I'm awkward and just dumb about these things but you two have helped me build my self esteem so much in the past few weeks. I want to cry but I know you will both kill me if I do."

"No crying, even though its waterproof makeup. You know we love you like a sister so it's our pleasure," Alice remarked as she handed me a silver clutch. "Put your cell and I.D. in this. I've put some pink lip gloss in there and a powder compact in case you need to refresh your face."

"Okay, thanks. Wow, I'm getting nervous."

"No time for that, Bella. It's six-twenty. He'll be here any minute," Rose said as she pointed to the clock.

I jumped as I looked at the clock on the vanity. Ten minutes…

_**EPOV**_

I awoke from my nap and saw that it was almost five-thirty. Shit! I needed to leave here by ten after six to make it on time. I jumped from the recliner like my ass was on fire. Alice will have my nuts on a platter if I'm late, not to mention how Bella will feel.

I jogged to my bathroom and started the shower. I stepped in and relaxed some as the hot water hit my tense muscles. I lathered my hair and body quickly and hopped out after I was rinsed clean. This was my first shower in awhile that _only_ involved actual washing. Amazing how much faster it goes that way!

Shave or no shave? I hadn't really considered that before now. Did Bella like smooth and soft or did she like rugged and rough? I had no idea so I grabbed the electric shaver and did a cursory run over my face and neck. Now, it was smoother but still a little rough.

After a quick splash of after shave it was time to tackle my hair. God, what a mess! I was unblessed with cowlicks and my bronze hair stood up all over my head no matter what I tried. I ran the brush through it and grabbed some hair wax. At least this way I hoped it would look artfully messy.

Satisfied with my hair and face, I brushed my teeth and went back to my room to get dressed. I went to the dresser and took out a white undershirt, gray socks and my boxer briefs. Alice had kept my outfit simple enough and in just a few minutes I was dressed. I slipped my black Doc Martins on, grabbed my cell off the charger, my watch and my wallet and went back to the kitchen counter to grab my keys.

I make a quick walk through the apartment to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything. It was six-oh-five. Time to go. I turned the lights on dim so they'd be on if we came back here after we ate. I locked the door as I left and went to the garage.

I got in the car and made my way to the street. Twenty minutes and I'd be at U Dub. I cranked classic rock on my XM radio and set my sights toward Pattison Hall and the woman that's captivated my heart.

On the way, I made a call to Sky City to make sure that everything was on schedule. The hostess confirmed my reservation and said that the florist had just arrived with Bella's flowers. I thanked the girl and hung up as I was just a few miles from U Dub campus.

Yes, I'll admit it; I Googled the meaning of each color rose available when I made the choice to get a dozen red. Red was my obvious first choice because the movies always have the guy get his girl red roses. But when I saw that red signifies "love, beauty, courage and passion" I knew it was the right move to make. Bella is all of those traits personified. I know no one more loving, beautiful, passionate and most of all courageous.

I blew out a long breath when I saw the sign showing Pattison Hall was just ahead. I'd been to U Dub a thousand times but this time was different. When Tanya and I dated, she lived on campus but in a different dorm so thankfully there wasn't that feeling of déjà vu when I parked my car. Bella and I sure as hell didn't need that shit.

I got out and strolled as casually as I could to the door. It was unlocked so I stopped and looked around. There was no RA or monitor to guide me. Anyone could just stroll in here! I was going to take that up with someone ASAP. That's not acceptable and totally unsafe.

Bella had told me her room was 312 so I went to the elevator and hit the button for the third floor. I can count so I should have no problem finding the room. Suddenly my nerves hit me like a sledgehammer. My hands were sweating like a sixteen year old virgin and suddenly my collar was too tight. I loosened one button and took a deep breath as the elevator arrived. In just a matter of seconds I was deposited on the third floor. I looked at the room numbers and started walking toward her room, calming myself as I went along.

"Eddie! Wait up."

The unmistakable boom of Emmett's voice echoed down the vacant hallway. I stopped and saw him and Jasper stride toward me with cocky smirks on their faces. Why in the hell did I think I'd just breeze in and out with Bella when BOTH my siblings live in the same place?

"Emmett, you know why I'm here. Can you please just shut the hell up and let me go? I don't have time for this bullshit tonight. We have reservations in thirty minutes."

"Not so fast, Eddie-Boy. Jazz and I want to have a little talk before you go," Emmett replied as he crossed his arms. Damn he can look overbearing when he wants to.

"Quickly, Em," I said through gritted teeth. "I don't want to be late."

"We just want to make sure that you have gentlemanly intentions tonight toward our Bella," Jasper said as he looked me squarely in the eye. Obviously this was not a joke.

"Yeah, Bella is special to us and if you mess with her head or hurt her in any way I will rip your pretty-boy head right off your shoulders and punt it out into the freeway," Emmet retorted.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and counted to ten. Who in the hell do they think I am?

"Guys, I promise you that I'm not going to hurt Bella on purpose. I like her, a lot. Why would I fuck that up? Have some faith in me."

"You'd better, bro. She's been through hell and back. She trusts you. Don't fuck up," Emmett said as pointed his finger at me as he started down the hallway.

.

"Glad we could have this chat, Edward. Have fun tonight. Just follow us to her room. We're going there too," Jasper said as he clasped my shoulder before he turned to follow Em down the hall.

I shook my head and let out a chuckle as I followed them. As pissed as I was for them even _thinking_ I'd be mean or rude to Bella, they had her interest at heart and that meant a lot to me. The guys stopped and Em knocked on the door in front of him. Finally!

The door opened and the guys went in, leaving me standing in the hall. I was about to barge in when the door opened and Rose, Alice, Jasper and Emmett came out into the hall. Alice came over to me and hugged my neck.

"She's all ready, Edward. We'll leave now and let you take it from here. Have fun."

"Thank you, Alice. It may be late when I get her back. Depending on how things go, we may go back to my place and watch a movie. I'll text you later."

"Alright. Have fun and please tell her how pretty she looks tonight. Okay?"

"I will Pix and thank you for everything."

The others said their goodbyes and it was just me and Bella. Well, she was behind the closed door, but anyway … I knocked twice and waited. In a few seconds the door opened and my breath was taken away.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**I'm sorry for the semi-cliffie, LOL. I didn't want to drag this chapter out any longer, so "The Date" will begin in Chapter 17. I know. I know…the UST is getting thick. No worries. That will all be rectified soon. Can't rush them too fast but things will be picking up. I promise. I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'm not looking for big numbers, but I'd love your reviews. Since it's a long weekend for me, I hope to get the next chapter out in a few days. Till next time. T**


	17. Chapter 17

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to use them for my own personal enjoyment.

**A/N: I'm incredibly honored to have so many favorites and alerts added this past weekend! WOW! I wasn't sure if anyone would care about my story, but you've proved me wrong. Thank you so much! Loved the reviews … they spur me to keep on going. I need to use the thesaurus for better words of gratitude to twimom817 and kare831 for making my story look less like mindless drabble and more like a real story. I will just stick with YOU GUYS ROCK because I feel redundant with just "thanks!" If you haven't checked out their stories, you need to. They write Irishward together but also "Perfect Game" by kare831and "A Special Life" by twimom817 are the two I'm reading right now. Oh and one more thing before someone calls me on it … I'm calling "Creative Artistic License" on this chapter. I've never been to the Space Needle, Sky City or Seattle so I'm winging it on the date with what I can find on the internet. All I know is that it turns and has a 360 degree view of the city. Hope you enjoy!**

_**BPOV**_

The knock on the door brought me back to reality. My mind had drifted off the past ten or so minutes and I'm sure you could have dropped a bomb beside me and I wouldn't have known. I was incredibly anxious and sick to the point of vomiting at the same time. My first date and I'm twenty one. Sad but true. Even knowing what a gentleman Edward has been with me wasn't helping my sweaty palms and the hitch in my chest. Edward was attractive and insanely so. No match for me but yet here I am. I did decide against the Xanax tonight because I knew there was a possibility of adult drinks at the restaurant. I'd really liked the daiquiri at Twilight and wasn't opposed to having one again, but I would have to follow Edward's lead to see if it was an option or not. I did put my small pill case with one nerve pill in the zipper area of the clutch, just in case.

I sensed Em and Jasper's presence before I saw them standing in the doorway. Not Edward … just a false alarm. Whew.

"Bella Boo! You're looking mighty fine tonight!" Emmett said as he came over and gave me a bear hug. I felt embarrassed at his exclamation with Rose standing just a few feet away. I guess she was confident enough in their relationship to not be jealous.

"Emmett! Don't wrinkle her with your meat hooks. She knows how hot she is tonight," Rose said jokingly as she came over and pulled him away. "She's sitting on GO as soon as Edward gets here."

"Oh, he's here. We left him just outside the door. Em and I had a little chat with him and I think we're all on the same page in the playbook now," Jasper answered cryptically as he took Alice by the hand and led her to the closed door.

He's here! Breathe, Bella, breathe. Wait, what playbook?

"Okay, we're gonna go now, Bella so he can make this date all official. Now, relax and have fun," Alice said and they all said their goodbye's as they let the door close behind them. I couldn't even squeak out my thanks before they were gone.

I stood watching the door, waiting for the tell-tale knocks to come.

_Knock, knock._

I looked once more in the mirror to make sure I didn't have dried drool or anything on my face before I went to the door. _You can do this, Bella! _

I walked over to the door and shut my eyes as I slowly opened it. When I opened them I was instantly caught by the most captivating green eyes on the planet. He looked at me for a few moments with his mouth agape but soon that crooked smile I loved graced his face as he finally spoke. I hope I was smiling back because I couldn't think when I looked into his eyes like that.

"Never before have I seen such beauty, Bella. You are simply breathtaking tonight."

I know I blushed but I couldn't be bothered with that. I shook my head from his spell and said, "Thank you, Edward. You look nice in your suit too. Oh crap, I'm being rude. Please come in," I said as I motioned him in from the hall. He _was_ looking pretty hot in that gray suit.

"Alright, I'll come in. Are you ready to go or do you need a few more minutes? Our reservations are for seven," he asked as he surveyed our room.

"Um, yes. Let me just go grab my purse and I'll be ready."

Edward followed me across the room as I went to my bed to retrieve Alice's clutch. I opened it to make sure again that I had all I needed, including a few tampons. I knew that Aunt Flo would be making an appearance in a few days and I didn't want to be caught without any protection. Please God, not tonight. When I turned around, Edward was right behind me.

"Is this your bed?" he asked. I felt my cheeks blaze again by just his question.

"Um, yes. Alice sleeps in the first cubicle and then Rose and then me," I responded as I looked to the floor.

"Hmmm," Edward said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled my face up to meet his before he whispered in my ear. "It's good to have a visual of where my angel lays her head at night."

I felt the tingly sensation that I'd gotten the last time we were together spread throughout my body.

"Your angel?"

Edward leaned his face closer to mine as he hovered over my lips.

"Yes, my angel that I'm going to kiss now if she doesn't mind. I've missed those lips for too long."

"I don't mind," I replied breathlessly as he softly brushed his lips to mine before deepening the kiss slightly. I could do this all night long. Our lips mingled slowly before Edward broke away.

"Mmm. That was well worth the wait," he said as he rested his forehead to mine.

"Yes, it was. I've missed you."

"You have no idea how long this week has been for me and that just made it all worthwhile. Now my lady, your carriage awaits."

I giggled as he led me to the door. Hand in hand we waited for the slow elevator. When it finally arrived and were on the way to the lobby I asked him again where we were going.

"You'll see soon, Bella. I promise that you're going to like it."

Once we were buckled into the car Edward started the motor and adjusted the radio as we drove away from campus. I sat in my seat and tried not to fidget as we drove toward our destination. I noticed the familiar sounds of my favorite music.

"Is this music okay? I can change it if you want. I usually listen to classic rock but I'm alright with changing it."

"Oh. I love classic rock but mostly from the eighties. I've always listened to it since I was a little girl because my Mom did."

"Really, that's good to know. What groups do you like?" Edward asked as he reached for my hand.

"Um, wow. Let's see. I like Bon Jovi the most. Def Leppard and Aerosmith are a few more of my favorites. What about you?"

Edward squeezed my hand as he spoke, "Well, we have a common interest in music, that's for sure. I have all of them on my iPod along with Tom Petty, Van Halen and ACDC."

I smiled. I had them all on my iPod as well. We stopped at a light and he looked over to me.

"Did you know that you have the prettiest smile? The way your face lights up just adds to your beauty."

I looked to him and said truthfully, "No one has ever told me that. Thank you."

I didn't want to tell him that smiling was a new thing for me. There hadn't been much to smile about in my life for a long time.

"Well, someone should've told you every day because it's true," he replied as he took off from the stoplight. "Look ahead Bella. What do you see?"

I looked out the windshield and saw the Space Needle in clear view over the night lights of Seattle. I'd never been there but someday hoped to go.

"Wow. Seattle looks so pretty at night. I can see the Space Needle from here. I bet it's beautiful at night, overlooking the city."

"Have you ever been there, Bella?"

"Um, no. I haven't been to Seattle much at all. I quit visiting my dad as much when I became a teenager and we rarely left Forks when I did visit. Port Angeles and La Push is about as far away from home as Charlie normally goes. I've always wanted to go there though."

"Well, that's where we're going tonight. To Sky City. I hope you like it because it really is nice at night."

"Oh, Edward! Really? I get to go up in the Space Needle tonight?"

Edward chuckled at my enthusiasm as he slid his hand free to navigate the heavier traffic.

"Yes, really. I'm glad you don't find it cliché."

"Not at all. I'm terribly excited."

"Good. Oh, listen. It's Bon Jovi," Edward said as he reached for the volume.

Oh. My. No.

I couldn't help my embarrassment as the chorus of "Living On a Prayer" belted out from the speakers. If he only knew how much I was reminded of HIM by this particular song. Just the thought made my girly bits throb. I snuck a glace over at him as I saw him bobbing his head and singing quietly along with the radio.

_Ohhh, livin' on a prayer. Take my hand and we'll make it I swear. Ohhh, livin' on a prayer._

"Do you sing?" Edward asked as Richie Sambora's guitar riffs floated through the air.

"Um, no. Only in the shower." _Oh crap …_

"I bet you have a pretty voice. I don't sing much either but sometimes I get caught up in the song and it just belts out. I play a little guitar but only in the privacy of my apartment. I'm not very good."

As much as I wanted conversation, this one had me flustered. I was so worked up over remembering what happened that day in the shower that I was afraid I'd let something slip out so I was trying to choose my words carefully. I didn't want to sound like a tramp.

"Oh, I'd love to hear you play sometime. With long fingers like yours I'm sure you'd make me sweet music. Uh, I meant with long fingers, I bet it's easy to reach all the strings." _Holy shit! What the hell, Bella! Long fingers? Really, this is how you watch your words?_

Edward cleared his throat as we pulled into the area for valet parking. "Um, we're here," he announced but I could detect discomfort in his voice. Way to go with the verbal diarrhea, Bella. "I'll get your door, Bella."

I sat still as Edward exited the car and handed off the keys to a man in a red jacket. He made his way to my side and opened the door as he grabbed my hand to help me out. The boots Alice put me in had a three inch heel which brought my face closer to Edward's shoulders. For most women they'd be easy to walk in, but I hadn't worn heels much and I was gratefully for his hand to keep me steady. After my meltdown in the car, I needed a distraction and walking appeared to be it.

Ever the gentleman, Edward opened every door and let me pass before him. I was trying to follow his lead as I had no idea what to do and there hadn't been more than a few words between us since we left the car. I was starting to panic thinking I'd really screwed up already although he was still holding my hand. We went to the elevator and he punched in the top floor. He was looking ahead and tapping his foot impatiently.

"Um, Edward? Did I, um … I mean are you okay? Did I say or do something wrong?" I asked as I felt the familiar sting of rejection in the pit of my stomach. Now I regretted not taking that pill earlier.

Edward looked at me with a strange expression that smoothed over quickly as he leaned in to kiss my forehead. "Not at all, Bella. I'm sorry if I zoned out. It's just been a long week. Okay, we're almost to the top."

I saw the last number light up as the car stopped and we stepped out of the open doors. Edward led me to a podium and asked the hostess if everything was ready. She smiled and said it was and she led us through the busy restaurant to a door that led to the observation deck. Then she stopped and turned to Edward.

"Mr. Cullen, everything should be to your specifications. Your server's name is Jessica and she'll be right with you to get your drink order. Make yourself comfortable."

"Thank you. Give us a few minutes and then send her in," Edward replied as he reached for the knob. "Now, I want you to close your eyes and trust me to lead you in. I want to see your face when you see this for the first time, okay?"

"Okay. I trust you," I said as I closed my eyes.

Edward linked his arm with mine and we stepped through the open door. I felt the breeze from the door as it shut. He led me forward for several steps and then we stopped.

"Alright, you can open your eyes now."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**EPOV **_

I'll admit to having daydreams and night dreams all week about Bella, but nothing prepared me for seeing her in that doorway. She had no idea how stunning she was. Her hair framed her face in gentle curls and the outfit accentuated her awesome figure. And have mercy … her breasts were front and center tonight. Let's just say that I had something new to fuel my fantasies. After I got a taste of those sweet lips I was done for. We had to go soon before I threw caution to the wind and took her on her twin bed.

The ride to the restaurant was pleasant as we learned a little more about each other. Music was something I liked a lot and I was pleased to hear that we had the same taste in music. Bella had no clue the hold she had on me. When she made the comment about my guitar playing_ long fingers _I had to really work to maintain my composure. I knew it was meant to be innocent, as that was what Bella was, but my reaction was instant wood as my mind raced with all the places I wanted my long fingers to go. I couldn't speak for quite sometime as I thought of cold showers, Jasper in a tutu and Laura Bush on a stripper pole. Finally I was back to myself as we reached the elevators to Sky City.

Poor Bella with her understandable insecurities thought I was upset with her and if I could get my size eleven foot up high enough I'd kick my own ass for making her think I was mad. There was no way to explain that mad was the farthest thing from my mind. I was glad when the elevator door opened to the restaurant. Bella stopped and looked around in awe.

"Come with me to the podium. They're expecting us so there won't be a wait."

We made our way to the hostess and I gave her my name and asked if things were ready. She assured me that they were and she led us to the door to a private area of the observation deck that I'd rented for the evening.

"Mr. Cullen, everything should be to your specifications. Your server's name is Jessica and she will be right with you to get your drink order. Make yourself comfortable."

"Thank you. Give us a few minutes and then send her in," I replied as I reached for the knob. "Now, I want you to close your eyes and trust me to lead you in. I want to see your face when you see this for the first time, okay?"

"Okay. I trust you," she said as she closed her eyes.

I linked my arm with hers and we stepped through the open door. I felt the breeze from the door as it shut. I led her forward for several steps and then we stopped. Everything looked perfect.

"Alright, you can open your eyes now."

Bella opened her eyes. As she took in her surroundings, she gasped several times but didn't speak. I gave her a few minutes to look around before I spoke.

"Do you like it, Bella?" I asked.

Bella flung herself into my arms. "It's perfect. I never dreamed of something like this. Thank you so much, Edward. I love it."

"I'm glad, beautiful. We have this area to ourselves till closing. I want you to see or do whatever you'd like. For now, let's go get seated before our server arrives."

I took her by the hand and led her to the table. She was wide-eyed and I was thrilled that she loved everything so far. As we made our way to the table I grabbed the remote to my iPod deck from a nearby table and started some music. It wasn't eighties rock but I had chosen several older ballads and even a few love songs from those vampire movies with that Rob guy in them. In fact, I had rented all three DVD's out so far in that saga in case Bella wanted to watch something at the apartment.

When we were seated I reached for Bella's hand and kissed each knuckle as I watched her become bashful and her face flushed.

"What are you thinking, Bella? I can see the wheels turning in that pretty head."

"Edward this is all too much! I mean, I hate you've been out so much expense for just me," Bella said as she looked into my eyes.

"It's well worth it to see you happy. You deserve the world, Bella. All of this is for you. The view, the room, the flowers …"

"The roses are for me?" Bella replied as she put her hand over her heart.

"Of course they're for you, silly girl." I laughed. "I Googled the meaning of each color rose and decided on the red ones. They signify love, beauty, courage and passion. All things that remind me of you."

Bella moved the hand from her heart to cover her mouth as I saw the wetness gather in her doe eyes.

"I … I don't know what to say," Bella whispered as a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

I got up and knelt by her chair as I softly wiped away her tears.

"No words are necessary, Bella. I just want you to know how much you mean to me. I never dreamed I'd fall so fast for someone, but I have. Please don't cry. This is a happy night. Okay?"

"Okay. I'm sorry; it was just so much at once. No one has ever done anything like this for me. Um, and know I feel the same for you, Edward. It's all so new to me."

"My Bella," I said reverently. "Sweet, sweet Bella. I promised some serious wooing and I keep my promises." I touched my lips to hers as she sighed. "Our server will be her in a minute. What would you like to drink?"

"Um, I don't know. Maybe I should just get sweet tea?"

"If that's what you want. I'll be drinking water tonight since I'm driving. I'm going to order a couple of salads for starters if that's okay with you."

"Okay. Thank you again, Edward."

As I sat back in my chair, the door opened and our server made her way to our table with a smile.

"Welcome to Sky City. My name's Jessica and I'll be taking care of you this evening. I'll leave a couple menus for your main course and desserts and our Saturday specials are on page two. If you're ready, I can take your drink and appetizer order."

"The lady will have a sweet tea and I will have ice water. Please bring us both a small Caesar salad as well."

"Very good. I'll be right back," Jessica said as she left to put in our order.

"Would you like to come to the window and see the view?"

"Yes, please. I've always heard how far you can see from the top."

I took her hand and led her to the window ledge. Sky City revolves in the 360 degree circle, allowing the observer to see all the way around the city. The lights twinkled below us and the night was clear allowing for a view of the stars as well.

"Oh, it's gorgeous. So many lights and stars!"

"Yes, the view is gorgeous and so is my company."

Bella immediately dropped her head.

"Stop ducking your head when I tell you how beautiful you are. I know you don't see it but I do. One day, I swear that you will understand what you mean to me."

Bella looked back to my face and I'm sure she saw the way I was looking at her. The words were just on the tip of my tongue and she needed to know how deeply I felt for her. Damn the rules of it being too soon. When you know, you _know_.

"I'm trying so hard to see myself the way you tell me I am. It's just so hard for me after years of feeling like I wasn't good enough."

I cradled her face in my large hands. "That stops tonight because I need to tell you that I'm …"

The door opened again and Jessica came to the table with our salad and drinks. The spell was broken and we both went back to the table. Dammit!

We ordered our food; a New York strip and baked potato for me and Bella opted for the salmon and wild rice, before we started our salads making small talk while we waited. There was a pink elephant somewhere in the room and it was affecting both of us. When our food arrived we ate in silence with the sounds of music from my iPod deck in the background.

"This is good. The best salmon I've ever eaten."

"My steak is pretty good, too. Want a bite?" I asked as I waved the fork in front of her face with a small piece of my steak on the end.

"Um, you want me to eat it from your fork?"

"Well, yeah. Unless you'd rather not," I stammered out. I mean, we kiss with tongue so eating from the same fork should be the same thing, right?

Bella looked at me for a second before she slowly leaned forward and opened her mouth. Her eyes never left mine. I carefully moved the fork to her lips and she took the bite from me. She chewed slowly and my dick grew quickly. I think that was the most erotic thing I've ever seen and I've seen my share of porn.

"Mmm. You're right. That was good steak. Do you care for a bite of my salmon?"

"I don't think I can eat another bite," I replied and I sounded like I'd been running a marathon. Big Ed could see the finish line.

"Alright, I think I've had enough too."

I looked at my watch and saw that it was after eight o'clock. I still wanted to take her back to my place.

"Do you want to dance?" I asked after we'd let our food digest awhile.

"Okay, but remember that you have to lead."

I laughed as I swept her from her chair and into my arms.

"Just hold tight, spider monkey. I've got you."

Her laughter while we swayed together made my heart soar. I don't know what songs played or how long we swayed with the music but soon I heard the door open again with Jessica and a busboy. It was already nine.

"Oh, I'm sorry if we interrupted. Would you like us to return later? If you're done, we can go ahead and start the clean up."

I knew we were through eating and I was ready to go. I asked Bella if she was ready to leave and she nodded in agreement. She picked up the vase of roses from the table as I settled the check with Jessica. I told her that I'd return tomorrow to pick up my iPod and deck.

We left hand in hand feeling much lighter than we had upon arrival although the words I wished to tell her were still fresh on my mind. I didn't know if I'd get the chance to tell her again tonight. I wanted the moment to be right because those three little words were huge to me. If not tonight, I'd say them soon.

When we got back in my car, I asked her if she'd like to go back to my apartment to watch a movie. I prayed silently that she wasn't too tired. She said she'd love to see my place so I headed for the freeway.

We pulled into my apartment complex as the inevitable Seattle rain began to fall. Thank goodness for the underground garage. I parked my car and opened the door for her as I led her to the elevator. No other woman besides Alice and Mom had ever been to my place. In fact, I'd only taken Tanya to my parent's house when there was a holiday meal or gathering, even while we were in high school.

I held her hand as we made our way to the loft. I hit the key code for the door since I didn't want to let go of Bella's hand to fish out my keys.

"Here we are. Home sweet home," I said as I ushered her through the foyer to the living room. "Um, let me give you the grand tour and then I'll fix us a drink before we watch a movie. I rented all three of those vampire movies. If you want to watch one of them or you can go through the entertainment center for something else. Ladies choice."

Bella took everything in like a child at Christmas. She ooh'd and ahh'd at the décor, the colors and mostly the kitchen.

"Wow! You have the greatest kitchen! I wish I had a place to cook. I miss that about home. Well, what used to be home," Bella said as she looked at all the gadgets and cookware that I'd never even used.

"You like to cook? I wish I _could_ cook. Not a strong point of mine although Mom has tried to teach all three of us the ropes. I burn water but I make one hell of a cup of coffee."

"I love to cook. Someday I'll cook for you, Edward. That will be my date to you, sad as that is. With my meager bank account, I can't compete with what you did."

I stopped her before she went any further. I knew that my monetary situation would come up one way or another at some point. Tanya was never shy about her wants and needs knowing I could afford just about anything she asked for. Believe me. She asked quite often. Better to deal with it now than later.

"Bella, dating isn't a competition. I did what I did tonight because I wanted to and yes, I have the ability to pay for it. But a simple dinner at home with you by my side would mean as much to me. I don't want things to be awkward because of my money. I hardly ever do anything extravagant. That may change now that I have someone to spoil."

"Yes, Alice told me about the trust funds. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up. She bought me so much stuff when I first moved here and she told me when I asked her about repaying her for the clothes. It's not really awkward for me, just hard to believe anyone my age has THAT much money. I come from working class parents. College was only an option because of my academic scholarships. Otherwise I'd be working a 'nine to five' somewhere to pay for classes."

"Well, you know both my parents still work even with the money so they've always instilled a work ethic in us as we grew up. We knew the value of a dollar and had chores for allowances just like other kids. Alice bought the sports car and she likes to shop so she does spend frivolously sometimes. Emmett likes old cars like Rose but that's really all he's done with his. Our tuitions and expenses are set up to auto withdraw as needed. I bought this place so I could crash without bothering anyone while working the odd hours at the hospital and I paid for my Volvo but really I am a tightwad when it comes to me."

Bella smiled and I couldn't help but kiss her on top of her head. So precious.

I showed her the rest of the place, including my bedroom and bathroom where she'd been the recent star of my fantasies. Bella was oblivious to those facts, thank God.

"Um, Edward?" Bella asked as we made our way to the living room. "Could I … I mean, would you care if I took these boots off? I'm not used to heels and my feet are killing me."

_Oh, yes. Take them off and anything else you'd like to. _

"Absolutely. I don't know how you girls walk in those death traps anyway, but they are extremely sexy. Have a seat and I'll take them off for you."

_Easy there, big boy. It's just the boots. _

"Really? You want to take my boots off for me?"

"Yep, now have a seat."

Bella sat on the couch as I knelt in front of her and grabbed her slender calf in my hands. The boots and stockings came to mid-calf and I could see her milky skin just above the hemline of her pants. I know I must be very careful not to invade her personal space where her skin is involved so I slowly slid the zipper down on first the right boot and then again with the left. It was pure torture not to do more than that. I slid the boots off and set them to the side.

"Thanks. That's much better," Bella said as she wiggled her toes. "Next time, I'm wearing flats."

I laughed. "I don't blame you. Have you decided on a movie?"

She hadn't seen any of the three movies and said she wanted to start with the beginning so I grabbed _Twilight _and popped it in the DVD player and hit pause. Ironic … our first time together outside the doctors' office was at a dance club named the same as the movie from our first date.

"I made some strawberry daiquiri mix earlier today if you'd like one. I think I could go for a beer right now."

"That sounds great. Want me to help?"

"Nah, I've got it. Just relax and I'll bring your drink to you in a sec."

I went to the kitchen and poured the fruity drink into the blender with some ice. When it was done, I poured the mix into a tall glass with a straw and I grabbed a Bud from the fridge.

I sat beside her and handed her the drink as the movie began. She thanked me and began sipping on her daiquiri. I wanted her closer to me so I repositioned where I was lying sideways with my legs on the couch. I carefully wrapped my arms around her waist and turned her body till she was lying in front of me with her back against my chest semi-upright.

"Is this okay?" I asked after the fact. I need to be able to feel her.

"Um, yes as long as I'm not squishing you."

"Bella, I know your weight and you can't squish me. I outweigh you by almost one hundred pounds."

"Whatever, _Doctor._"

We watched the movie with her lying in my arms. I didn't see much of the film because I was enjoying holding Bella too much but I knew she was enjoying the forbidden love story between a human girl and a teenage vampire. The longer the movie went the more relaxed she became in my arms. I began stroking her arm softly before I brought my arms around her front to lie across her flat stomach, just below those tempting breasts. When the credits rolled, we both stretched from being still for so long. It was almost 11:30 and I was hoping she would stay for one more.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just stiff. I get that way being still so long. I worry constantly about developing psoriatic arthritis."

"That's understandable but right now your labs are negative for the PA markers. Maybe it was the position I put you in."

"I liked that position just fine. I think I'm just stiff from being still."

_I'm stiff too … later, Cullen. _

"Are you good for the next one? Um, _New Moon_?"

_Please say yes_.

"Yes, I'm okay but are you going to be too tired to drive me back to Pattison?"

"Nah, I took a nap. I'm good. Let me refill your drink and you can change out the DVD."

I went and refreshed her drink and got myself one more beer. I'd have to quit there if I was driving. Bella changed out the DVD and we stood by the couch unsure of what to do next.

"Um, Bella. Why don't you let me sit and you can lie on the couch and rest your head in my lap. Maybe you'll be more comfortable that way."

"Okay."

I sat and she stretched out across the cushions and laid her head in my lap. Oh so close.

The movie began and I could tell this one wasn't going to be the happy-go-lucky love story like the first one. Bella was engrossed in the movie and I was trying to keep Big Ed from poking her in the ear as she fidgeted to get her nest made.

Suddenly there was a huge clap of thunder and the lights flickered a few times before going off completely. Bella jumped up to a sitting position and I pulled her into my lap by sheer instinct. Her heart was beating wildly and she was whimpering slightly.

"Edward," she whispered as she buried her face into my chest.

"Bella? Are you okay? You're shaking like a leaf!"

"Um, I'm a little scared of storms," she said pitifully as she tried to extract herself from my arms. I could tell she was embarrassed by how she'd reacted but she was still trembling.

"It's okay, Bella. It will probably pass in a little while. Just stay here and I'll light a few candles. We won't be able to leave until it passes because the elevator won't operate with any power and the stairwell isn't lit. I'll text Alice and let here know you're safe here."

I sat her on the couch and felt my way to the kitchen where I kept some matches. I found them with the help of my cell phone light and quickly lit a few candles in the kitchen and living room. It wasn't much light due to the high ceilings of the loft but it was enough to see what was in front of you. I prayed the cell towers were operational as I sent Alice a quick text letting her know where we were. I went back to the couch and sat back down when I was done. Bella immediately scrambled back into my arms as more thunder and lightening clapped outside.

"I'm sorry to be such a baby. I've just never grown out of this like my Mom said I would."

"Bella, I'll hold you all night long if it makes you feel safe. I have no problems taking you in my arms anytime you need me to."

"Kiss me? Distract me, please?" Bella asked. I couldn't see her face but she was clutching my shirt in her little hands like a lifeline.

I hated that she was so frightened. If kissing her would make things easier for her, then I'd certainly help all I could. I pulled her chin up and kissed her lips softly. She pulled me closer and I kissed her again a little stronger molding her lips to mine in a sensual close-mouthed dance. After a few minutes she timidly touched my lower lip with her pink tongue. I moaned slightly as I opened my mouth inviting her with my tongue. As our tongues meshed and our kisses became more frantic I heard the voice in the back of my mind screaming at me to slow down. She isn't ready for anything more. I was using all my willpower not to run my hands over her body.

Bella repositioned herself and as she did she ground into my growing erection.

"Oh," she said as she pulled her lips away from mine, panting for air.

Damn, damn, damn.

"Bella, I'm sorry but I can't help it. My body doesn't know that it shouldn't be doing what its doing," I said as I tried to set her off my lap. She wouldn't budge.

"I caused … that reaction?"

Oh for the love of all that's holy. She is blaming herself for my cock having a brain of its own. How do I explain this to Bella without scaring the shit out of the poor girl? Do I say 'I like my erection grazing your ass in my lap'?

"Um, well … see its involuntary but if stimulated … damn … no … I mean …"

"I took Biology and Sex Ed so I um, know the … the mechanics of … that part … I just don't get how I, um caused that. Did I, um do something wrong?"

"Oh, God no. You did everything right. I'm just embarrassed that you had to feel it that way. When you repositioned across my lap, well you brushed against it and that's really all it took with us already kissing like we were."

Damn again. I guess that's over too.

"So, it's a good reaction. Talk to me about this, Edward. I want to be a real girlfriend. I have no idea about what to do to make you feel good. I've never been in this position and my Mom sure never gave me that talk. I can ask Alice but we are rarely alone. I feel safe with you to tell me the truth. Please?"

"Bella, I'll do anything you want, even talking about this type of thing. This subject is difficult, even for me as a doctor but I will do it if you really want me to."

"If we're going to date, then I need to know what I'm dealing with. What's expected of me and what to expect in return. I don't know if it's the drink talking or if its just curiosity but I need to know!"

Oh dear Lord. I'm about to have a sex talk with Bella.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

**Okay! There ya go. The dinner date was a success and now Bella is scared out of her mind from the storm and Big Ed's appearance on the date. Poor, poor Edward has been put in an awkward position, in more ways than one. Let me know what ya think. I'd love to hear your reviews! **


	18. Chapter 18

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment. **

**A/N: I'm still amazed at all this hits this story has gotten and the kind reviews. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. For those that are reading, please take the time to leave me a review if you can. It helps me know what you're thinking and what direction I want to take the characters. And you can find me on Twitter as lakermom37. A big "BOOYAH" to my girls, twimom817 and kare831 for taking the time to make this readable since my brain and my heart aren't always in the same place. They are my Dynamic Duo. Enough chit chat, let's get on with the story.**

_**Previously … EPOV…**_

_Oh dear Lord. I'm about to have a sex talk with Bella. _

_**BPOV**_

I looked up to see Edward's face in the candlelight, not being able to judge his expression. The storm outside was intensifying but the storm inside between he and I was what I was more frightened of. I was asking so much of him in this moment but all I had said was the truth. I didn't know what he wanted or needed from me. Kissing and his careful touches to this point was all the reference I had to go by. My teenage years that should have been filled with awkward touches, fumbling fingers and all those first sexual experiences had been spent hiding myself at home or in a library somewhere, while the rest of my peers passed me by.

Judging from the erection that I could still feel from Edward's lap, I knew that I needed to give him space to think, so I gingerly extracted myself from his body and eased down beside him on the couch. He let out a sigh at the loss of contact and tried to discretely adjust himself before he turned to me. I took a long hard drink to calm my nerves since I feared a panic attack and I didn't want to take that little pill I had hid in my bag.

"I promise I'll try to explain the things you ask of me, Bella. It's not going to be easy for me, but I want you to be comfortable with me. I don't _expect_ anything from you. God, you are so special to me and what you consider ignorance regarding sexual matters just makes you more endearing. Mostly, I want you to know what to expect from _me_. I won't push or demand _anything_ from you. I will be patient with you and let you take control of the speed in which we progress along. _You_ are the most important factor with me so I want you to stop worrying yourself over pleasing me. With that said you can ask me anything," Edward said, as he gently rubbed my arm.

I thought for a moment on how I wanted to word my next question. He was looking at me with such adoration and I was hoping that I wasn't returning my looks with fear and trepidation.

"I understand what you're saying, Edward. But I know that when your body reacted to mine like it did a minute ago that you needed something from me. Was I supposed to … to … I mean … did you want me to … touch it or something?" I somehow asked without bolting from my seat. I could feel that my face was completely red so I took another drink to cool myself down.

Edward stopped rubbing my arm and took both my hands in his. I wasn't sure if it was to comfort me or for himself but I gladly took what he offered. He cleared his throat and spoke with his green eyes piercing mine.

"The answer to your question is yes. There is nothing more that I would love as much as being touched intimately by you right now, but let me explain what I mean before we go any further, okay? The body has several areas called erogenous zones. Those areas are sensitive to sexual stimulation. Like I said before, since we were already kissing pretty hot and heavy it didn't take much contact from you for my penis to react to the stimuli. It's a perfect case of 'cause and effect' but once again you did nothing wrong, Bella. My body reacted because I liked what happened."

I knew from my self-stimulation in the past that I had these areas too. I wondered if he'd wanted to touch me that way too. My body shivered with the thoughts of Edward's hands on my most intimate parts and the intense feelings that would be the result. I wondered about other places I could touch him. I wanted to please him.

"Erogenous zones. Okay. So your, um, penis is one of those places. Where else do you like to be touched?" I asked as I drank more from my sweet strawberry drink.

"Well, they aren't always the same for everyone but for me my nipples are extremely sensitive and there's a spot behind my ears that is good, too. Some men like their, um testicles massaged and even rectal stimulation can be a turn on."

Huh? Rectal what? I'm not touching that right now, no pun intended, but the other comment made me think. I reached for my daiquiri hoping for liquid courage to continue as I took another big gulp.

"I, uh … by testicles do you mean your …um, balls?" I asked in a strangled whisper.

I'd heard enough slang from some of the guys that used to torment me in high school to know that if you "suck balls" then it's not a good thing. Also I knew that guys seemed to be proud of their balls.

"Um, wow. Uh, yeah. Testicles and balls are the same thing," Edward replied nervously.

"And all I have to do is touch them?"

Edward straightened on the couch and ran his free hand through his hair.

"Well, yes touching or fondling them is one way but there are other forms of stimulation."

Okay, what does that mean?

"Other forms as in …" I questioned as I absently took another drink to distract myself. I needed to know.

Edward let out a long breath before he took a healthy pull from his beer. He seemed to weigh his words heavily.

"Bella, I don't think …"

"No, Edward. Don't think. Tell me. I need to know this while I have my nerves prepared to hear the answers. Please!"

"Alright, I'm sorry," he said with a pause. "Oral stimulation is another way."

"My mouth? On your … penis and balls?" I exclaimed as I jumped slightly from my seat at the combination of those words and another round of thunder outside.

"Calm down, Bella. I'm not saying that's something you need to ever do, just that it's another way to please a guy. Are you alright? I'm afraid I'm overwhelming you with all this."

Was I alright? Yes, I think so. I was nearing information overload but I still had questions that I wanted answers to. The daiquiri seemed to be making me less anxious so I took a long drink, sighing as it passed my lips.

"Yes, sorry. Just so much to take in at once and the thunder outside is making me uneasy but I'm fine. I have a few more questions, please?"

"Go ahead, Bella."

"I know you are using the word 'penis' a lot to describe your … um, male organ. But that's not what guys call _that part_ most of the time, is it? What do you call … it?"

"Um, I'm not sure if that's appropriate in the context in which I'm talking to you but I guess most of the time for me its 'cock' or 'dick'. I can't … I'm sorry but that just sounds too vulgar in this conversation."

"I want you to call it what you normally do. I need to learn the words too," I replied as I swallowed down another drink noticing the glass was almost empty.

Okay, now I know what to call it. Penis sounds too clinical. I also noticed that I was getting increasingly wetter as this talk progressed. I was imagining that hard form under my bottom earlier. Was that all his penis? I wonder if he's still aroused.

"So, um, when a girl puts her mouth on a guy's … um, cock or balls … what makes that enjoyable?"

Edward fidgeted in his seat on the couch when I said 'cock'. I felt horrible for putting him through this conversation, but I trusted him completely to tell me the truth. He looked away from me when he spoke so I knew he was uncomfortable with the turn in the conversation. As for me, my head was feeling lighter and the words just seemed to roll off my tongue with ease the longer we talked and the more of that sinful goodness I drank.

"For a guy, there isn't a more intimate act besides actual sexual intercourse. The warmth and suction of a woman's mouth encasing the hard length of his penis, um, or cock is similar to the feeling of being inside of her vagina. Orgasms this way can be as powerful as intercourse. The tes …um, balls are very sensitive and touching or sucking on them enhances a man's pleasure."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**EPOV**_

"So _that's_ why it's called oral sex. I understand now. Instead of going in the vagina the guy ejaculates in her mouth. Okay, got that. I have another question though. What about, um, her pubic hair? Do you like a girl bare, you know, _down_ _there_?" Bella asked with wide eyes as she nursed the remainder of her mixed drink.

I was rock hard. I mean hard as marble, hard enough to cut glass, chisel-a-fucking-diamond hard and there was nothing I could do about that problem right now short of excusing myself to whack off in the bathroom. I almost shot off in my slacks when I heard the word 'cock' come from those sweet lips. I couldn't leave Bella though. She still shuddered each time it thundered.

She had been so nervous starting out but I could tell with each passing minute and maybe the alcohol in her system, she was relaxing more. I wanted to answer her questions. I wanted her to know how amazing and tender foreplay and making love can be. Oh hell…who am I kidding? I really wanted to just shimmy those fuck hot pants off of her, throw her down on the couch, spread her legs wide and dive face first into her pussy. She was aroused; I could smell her and I wanted to taste her. That wasn't helping my restraint at all or my straining dick.

Then she asked me the one-million-dollar question. Hair or hairless. Simple question, but what was the right answer? I knew from seeing her when I gave her injection last weekend at my parent's house that if she had hair, there wasn't much. I guess honesty is best so I thought for a second and answered.

"Bare or minimal hair," I replied hoping I'd given the right answer.

Bella sighed in relief. Whew.

"Okaaay, that's good to know, Edwaaard," Bella answered back as I noticed her words were starting to slur.

"Baby, maybe you should lay off the drinking some. I don't want to take you home drunk."

"Nooo! I like my drink. Anyhow it's almost gone. We can't leave now. You said sooo. I want to stay looonger! I'm a big girl. No curfew. We're not done talking yet," Bella said like a petulant child.

God, I feel like an ass but damn a tipsy Bella is awfully cute. I kissed her softly.

"We're staying right here, beautiful. Now, what do you want to talk about?"

"Me. I wanna tell you a secret. Can I?" Bella said in a stage whisper voice as she took one last large drink from her now empty glass.

I laughed lightly. I guess we'd had enough sex-talk for one night so I'd gladly change gears and talk about whatever she wanted to.

"I would love to hear about you. Talk away, baby," I replied as I nursed what was left of my beer.

"Um, okay. I'm glad you like it bare down there because Rose said guys like bare girly bits annnnnd I got a Brazilian wax just for yooou," she said in a sing-song voice as she pointed her finger into my chest.

I choked on my beer as those words tumbled from her mouth so effortlessly. Holy Mother, she's bare. Fuck yeah! Big Ed heard too and reared his head again.

"Um, you got waxed bare … for me?" I stammered trying to regain any composure that I could.

"Yessssss, you silly man! Who else would care? Wanna see?" Bella said as she hopped up and reached for the waist of her pants.

"Um, Bella …" was my brilliant reply as I numbly watched her stumbling attempt to unbutton her slacks.

"Damn! I can't get them off, Edwaaaard. You want to take 'em off for meeee? Pleeeeease?"

YES! Oh, fuck…no, no, and no. My inner monologue was driving me nuts but I knew the gentleman in me had to get this situation under control. I don't want her regretting her actions tomorrow. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Not tonight, Bella," I said as calmly as I could as I watched her face fall. "I want to, believe me but not when you're impaired. I want clear heads if and when we get to that step."

I stood up beside her and stilled her as she swayed. The girl was not completely hammered but she was definitely less than sober. I decided some water and a few Advil would be a good thing right now.

"Come with me to the kitchen. It's time for you to switch to water. You're not used to alcohol and you've had enough for one night."

"Okaaay, if you saaay so, Doctor Cullen."

I led her by the hand in the semi-darkness until I could sit her down at the kitchen table. I was thankful that Bella didn't fight me on the striptease and the daiquiris. I reached in the fridge for a bottled water and then grabbed the bottle of Advil from the counter. I shook out two pills that she took without question. She'd thank me in the morning.

I began to lead her back to the couch when she tugged at my hand causing me to stop.

"Is something wrong, Bella?"

"Um, I need to pee."

Of course she does! We've been together for six hours and she hasn't asked to go once. Way to go, Cullen. Minus ten points for insensitivity.

"I'm sure you do after all you've drunk. I need to go too. Come on. We'll go to my bathroom upstairs. I'm afraid that you may be stuck here with me tonight. The storm doesn't appear to be letting up. Let's get you a bathroom and then maybe something more comfortable to change into. I'll just text Alice and tell her."

"K."

I grabbed my cell and saw that I had no signal. Just fucking great. My last message from a few hours ago was sitting in my sent messages so at least Alice knows where Bella is and that she's safe with me. That's going to have to be good enough for now. I grabbed the candle from the counter and led her toward the stairs.

"Now, stay close to me. I won't let your hand go."

Bella gripped my hand tighter as we ascended the stairs. It was dark but the candle lit the narrow stairway well enough to see. When we got to the top I led her to the en suite bathroom and turned to leave after I sat the candle on the vanity. The reflection on the candle in the mirror helped illuminate the room.

"No, don't leave me, Edward. Just … please stay."

"I won't leave you, beautiful. I'll just turn my back while you take care of business, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you."

Bella fumbled briefly with those damn pants but finally got them unbuttoned. After she was done she washed her hands and I led her back to my bed. I told her to have a seat until I was back from the bathroom. Before I stepped out, I reached in my pocket for the book of matches I'd grabbed earlier and lit a few candles around my room that had only ever been used for decoration. The smell of sandalwood and cinnamon wafted in the air.

"I'll just be a minute. Will you be okay until I get back?"

"Yes, I'm fine now. Don't rush."

I nodded and stepped into the bath and shut the door. I laid my head against it and shook it from side to side. I was extremely worked up and I knew that I needed to take advantage of my few minutes alone to try and get a hold on myself. I'd never been this aroused or this hard in my life. I moved to stand over the toilet and quickly undid my belt and slacks and let them pool around my ankles along with my boxers. My dick was weeping at full mast and there was only one way that was being resolved tonight. I slid my hand across the tip and spread the precum along my shaft as I increased my strokes. This wasn't going to take long. I shut my eyes and pictured Bella from earlier when she was grinding my cock with her heat while my tongue was playing tango with hers. Her questions had been so innocent but they had stoked a fire in my balls at the same time. Just by thinking of her being bare I felt the familiar burning in my belly as my strokes became erratic and desperate. Suddenly long, hot streams of jizz shot from my cock and I had to bite my tongue to stifle the yell in my throat. I slowed my thrusts as I shook trying to regain my composure. Beating off in the bathroom with your fuck-hot girlfriend in the next room, classic. After several minutes I was recouped enough to catch my breath and pull my clothes back on. I washed my hands and left the bathroom.

Bella was sitting Indian-style on my bed and she smiled sweetly as I walked over to her.

"Did you say that you might have something I could change into?"

I smiled knowing that she was unaware of what had just happened a few feet away from her and also because she seemed to be sobering up some. Thank God. It was after one in the morning and I knew she'd be here for the night now. I didn't think I could handle Stripper Bella again without losing my control. It was weak as water now anyhow.

"Of course, beautiful. I think I can find something suitable," I said as I walked over to my dresser.

I remembered that I had a small flashlight in my top drawer so I grabbed it so I could see what was in the drawers. I dug around and found her a UW sweatshirt and a pair of lounge pants that I'd outgrown. Both will swallow her small frame but it was the best I had. I grabbed another pair of lounge pants since I would just leave my undershirt on tonight.

"Well, this is what I've got. It'll be too big but it'll be comfortable."

"Thank you. Um, I'll just go change," Bella said nervously as she slid from my bed.

"Okay, I'll just change here while you're in the bathroom."

Bella went to the bathroom and closed the door. As I started to undress I tried to keep the vision of my girl undressing in the bathroom where I'd just shot off. Big Ed was out to party tonight and I felt myself begin to harden at just the thought of her pale, naked skin and perky tits. It was easy to visualize since I had seen her in almost total undress at the office.

I made quick work of getting dressed and threw my clothes in the hamper in the closet. Just as I shut the door, Bella came out looking all kinds of hot in my clothes. She had the hem rolled several times to keep them from falling off and the sweatshirt hung off her slight shoulders as she walked. Big Ed appreciated the view.

"Um, I guess I'm staying the night?" she asked shyly as she sat her folded clothes on my bed.

"Yeah, if that's okay. I mean, it's still storming out and the streets may not be passable from the water. I'd feel safer if I just took you in the morning. Are you ready for bed, beautiful?"

"Um, yeah, I think so," she replied nervously as she looked to the door. "Where should I sleep? The couch?"

Well, Cullen. It's a good thing your mama changed all the sheets, isn't it?

"Well, I have a guest bedroom downstairs and the couch is of course there. Or you can sleep here and I can sleep downstairs. Your call. Where do you prefer?"

Bella played with the hem of my sweatshirt and began nibbling on her bottom lip. I could see the wheels turning in her head as a clap of thunder close by echoed through the apartment. She jumped and let out a squeak.

I took two strides over and enveloped her in my arms as she shook from her fright. Damn, the girl is scared to death. I don't think sleeping separate is going to be an option tonight. I kissed the top of her head and prayed that I wasn't doing the wrong thing.

"Listen, Bella. You're too shook up right now to sleep downstairs alone. I wouldn't be able to sleep wondering if you were afraid. This bed is big enough for us both. I promise to be a gentleman if you want to sleep here, with me. Would that be okay? I can sleep on top of the covers."

Please. Say. Yes.

Bella looked up at me with those chocolate brown eyes and I could see no fear or questioning in them. I kissed her softly on those pouty lips. So beautiful.

"I think that's a good idea. Since I'd be close to the bathroom and I know you don't want to keep those candles lit downstairs all night. Thank you, Edward. I'm very lucky to have you."

"No, Bella. I'm the lucky one. You trust me and said yes. Now, let me get you settled in before I go blow out all the candles. I'll leave the one in the bathroom lit and the door open so you have some light during the night."

I shuffled over to the bed and threw back the covers. Bella crawled in and sat on the opposite side from where I normally sleep. Huh. What are the chances of that? I was hot-natured so I only used the sheet most nights but Bella may need more warmth so I pulled the sheet and comforter up to her waist and tucked it around her. Bella giggled.

"I feel like a little girl, being tucked in just like my Mom did when I was a child."

"Well, you're my girl so I guess it fits. I'm just gonna run down and take care of a few things. I'll be right back. Do you need anything?"

"Um, yeah if you would grab my purse. That's all I need, thanks."

"Okay, be right back."

I took my flashlight and made my way downstairs to make sure the door was locked and to grab Bella's purse. The storm showed no sign of relenting so I blew the few candles out and grabbed a bottle of water for myself and a fresh one for Bella, just in case.

I took the stairs two at a time to see Bella was still sitting where I left her. The lighting was so dim I could barely make out her features but she seemed to be deep in thought. I was unsure of how to proceed. I sat her purse down on the table by my door just in case she needed it. Bella never acknowledged my presence and my curiosity got the best of me. I'm no mind reader and I had to find out what she was thinking.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked as I blew out the remaining candles before making my way to my side of the bed and carefully climbed in on top of the covers.

"Oh, I was just thinking about stuff. Um, the stuff we talked about earlier," she said as she ducked her head away from me.

Ah, instant boner. I gathered my wits and reached for her chin so she was facing me.

"Uh uh. Remember I said no more ducking. What has you so upset? Is it the sleeping arrangement? If so I will gladly …"

"No! Um, I mean this is your bed. I'm okay with us both being here. I just …oh, never mind. You're probably tired to talk."

I wanted to tell her that I'd do anything she asked. I'd stay up all night to talk. I know at least part of me was up for the night anyhow.

"Alright, Swan. Spill. I'm game. What's bothering that pretty head so much?"

I could see her wringing the sheet in her hands. Oh shit, I've scared her with all the talk about oral and hand jobs. Great, Cullen. Just great. I was about to apologize when she finally spoke up.

"Show me how to touch you," Bella whispered although I heard her loud and clear.

Oh sweet heaven, I want that too but…

"Oh, Bella …" I began shaking my head before she turned to me with fire in her eyes.

"No! I mean it, Edward. I want to touch you but I'm afraid I'll do it all wrong! I've never even seen a real …cock before."

I weighed my options as my mind ran in circles. She has too many issues! If I say yes I risk scaring her because it's too soon and I'm not what you'd call average sized in the dick department either. Yeah, it's big and pretty impressive if I say so myself. If I say no then she's going to feel rejected and everything I've worked on with her so far with go down the tank. Damned if I do; damned if I don't. What the hell should I do? I searched her face and saw nothing but sheer determination there. I hope this is the right thing to do.

"Bella, I know you're afraid of doing something wrong. Believe me that you won't. But if we are going to do … this, I need to be able to touch you too. It's a two-way street. Are you prepared for that? We haven't talked about that aspect yet," I asked unsure of what else to do.

She looked away for a second and then faced me with those big brown eyes so trusting.

"Yes, I think I'm ready for some … things. I know I don't know much but I want to try. Can we … try?"

I couldn't tell her no. She trusts me. God knows I've wanted her since I first laid eyes on her. I'd have to be extra slow and explanatory. I slid closer to her still form and made sure she was looking at me when I spoke.

"Bella, I'm honored that you trust me enough to give me this first with you. If this is what you truly want, then I won't deny you. But you have to tell me if things get too intense for you. I don't want to do anything that is out of your comfort zone. Promise me. I won't get mad but you have to be honest with me, okay?"

Bella held my gaze.

"I promise. I'm nervous though for you to see me, um naked. My skin is so horrible to look at."

"We don't have to undress unless you want to, beautiful. Maybe we can just move slowly and learn each other's bodies over our clothes tonight. But know that I don't care about what your skin looks like. I've seen it, remember? The psoriasis is part of who you are. It brought you to me. I can't hate something that special. You don't have to hide your body from me, Bella."

I watched her eyes glisten with unshed tears. The emotional struggle with who she is and who she wants to be shown clearly on her face and until she accepts herself for who she is she is going to have a hard time letting down those walls she's constructed to keep others away.

"Let me in, Bella. Let me love you. I'm so in love with you already. Please."

She gasped at my words as I realized what I'd said. I meant every word.

"You … love me?" she cried softly as the tears finally fell from her eyes.

I pulled her face to mine willing the words to come as I was overcome with emotion.

"Yes, you silly girl. I think I fell in love with you the first day I met you. So beautiful. So fragile. So broken. There haven't been many waking moments that I haven't had you on my mind. I miss you so much when we're not together. I. ."

I kissed her tears as she tried to pull herself together.

"Edward, I've never felt like this before. I hurt inside when we're apart. I … I love you too. I've known it for awhile," she said as her face broke into a breathtaking smile.

She loves me! My face should have cracked from the smile that overtook me. I wanted to shout it at the top of my lungs. I pulled her close to me and kissed her with all the pent-up passion I had. Bella moaned softly as I pulled us down to lie on the mattress, never letting my lips leave hers. I stroked her hair and she returned the favor as the kisses intensified by grabbing my hair in her hands.

I slowly let my hands trail down from her hair to her lower back rubbing her in small strokes as she arched closer to me. I broke the hard kissing with several lighter ones to calm us both down before I went any further.

"Is this okay?" I asked praying she hadn't changed her mind.

"Yes. Your hands on my body feels so good," she replied breathlessly as she gripped my hair tighter almost to the point of pain.

"Baby, easy on the hair. Why don't you try to touch me somewhere like my shoulders or chest? Just feel free to move your hands if you want to. You don't have to though."

Bella loosened her hold on my hair and slowly moved her hands down to my shoulders and onto my chest. I could feel her tremble as she ran her fingers across the width of my chest. I let out a harsh breath when she made contact with my nipples. She stopped her movements.

"Don't stop, beautiful. That feels good."

With those words she began moving her fingers slowly across one nipple until it was hard and then continued on the other side. I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips. She looked to me in wonder and reached up to kiss my lips.

"Am I doing okay?" she asked with such an innocent look that I had to laugh.

"You're doing fine. Perfect."

She resumed her exploration of my chest for a few minutes.

"Edward?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Would you take off your shirt? I mean …if you want to."

I released her from my grasp and quickly sat up and shucked the tee over my head. It landed somewhere off in the darkness.

Bella sat up beside me and slowly brought her hands to my face before she brought them down over my shoulders and back onto my chest. She traced my pecs and softly brushed over my sensitive nipples again. I shuddered at the contact.

I kissed her hard and ran my hands up and down her sides trying the waters there awhile. She melted into my touch as I laid her on her back, hovering over her as her hands fell to her sides. That damn bulky sweatshirt didn't allow for me to feel much but I wasn't going to complain. I looked at her below me flushed and breathing heavy and thanked God for bringing this angel into my life. I kissed her cheek and then trailed kisses down her exposed neck. Bella was making the most erotic noises and I could see her rubbing her legs together. Fuck. I was so damn turned on and she evidently was too. I needed restraint and prayed to God again to grant it to me now.

"I'm going to move slowly and touch you now. I'm going to make you feel so good, baby. Let me know if you want me to stop."

Bella nodded and looked at me through her lust filled eyes making me shut mine for a moment. This was going to require all the control I had but for her I'd rope the moon. Just as I was ready to begin, Bella cleared her throat and spoke quietly.

"Um, I think it's only fair for me to take my top off since you did it for me. Will you help me?"

I was speechless for a moment as I looked for any doubt in her face. I saw nothing but love and trust so I nodded and reached for the hem of her sweatshirt. Slowly I raised it over her head and it joined my shirt on the floor. If I hadn't been hard as fucking stone already I would have been when I looked at the sight before me.

Bella was a vision. Her blushed skin glowed in the candlelight. Her breasts were barely encased in skin-colored lace, begging for release. Her pajama pants were hanging dangerously low showcasing her slim waist and hipbones. I wanted to kiss every inch of her exposed skin. Sweet Jesus.

"There are no words … beautiful doesn't touch it, Bella. You are heaven on Earth."

I lowered myself until our chests were barely touching and brought her lips to mine. I ran my tongue over her top lip asking for entrance. Bella complied and our tongues mingled. She tasted like strawberries from her daiquiri earlier.

Oh so carefully I placed a hand behind her neck deepening the kiss as I brought the other one to her stomach. Bella started at the contact so I kissed her more fervently. She relaxed and began running her hands over my back. I started moving my hand in slow circles over her belly and up over her ribs, stopping below her bra.

"Oh, god. Don't stop," Bella said as she wiggled below me brushing her hand timidly against my straining erection once and then again more firmly.

"Fuck. Bella. I want you to touch me but not tonight. This is all about you, beautiful."

I pulled my bottom half away from the contact pulling her grasping hands over her head. I kissed down her neck and across her upper chest as I brought one hand to the side of her breast grazing it softly causing a low moan from Bella. I repeated the motion as I continued kissing her neck and chest.

Feeling that she was ready I gently cupped her right breast running my finger over her erect bud over and over tweaking it gently before rubbing again.

"Oh … oh… oh…Ed … ward!" Bella cried as she began bucking her hips under me.

"Shhh. It's okay. Does that feel good, baby?" I whispered in her ear as I sucked on that sweet spot behind her ear.

"Y …yesss. Oh fuck."

"You look so hot writhing under me, Bella," I said in her ear as I watched her grasp at the pillow over her head.

I couldn't believe that she was so close to release by just my touching but the look on her face and the gasping breaths told the story for me. Bella was going to cum for me. I was totally content with her pleasure tonight. I'd already taken matters into my own hands earlier, so to speak.

I moved my ministrations to her other breast and paid homage to it as well watching her edge closer and closer. I kissed the top of each mound as I flicked and teased her nipples. I was amazed at the way her body responded to mine. I could smell her arousal.

"Bella, I'm going to touch you lower. Tell me now if you want me to stop and I will."

Bella was beyond much conversation at this point but she managed to stammer out one breathy phrase.

"Yes. Please touch me."

That was all I needed to hear as I slid my hand down her dampened body and ran my fingers along the top of the lounge pants. Bella thrust her hips slightly at the contact causing my hand to slide below the waist band and into the top of her lacy panties. Panties were still considered over clothes, right? I slowly slid my hand down and over the front of her lace covered pussy, shocked at what I found.

"Fuck, you're so wet, Bella."

"W …wet for y …you. Pl …please don't st …stop. So cl …close."

I cupped her softly before I ran my finger from the top of her moist, intimate lips to her opening. I made this pass several times before I concentrated my attention to her clit. I rubbed slow circles increasing the pressure as her breathing spiked and her thrashing got wilder. I pinched her nub between my fingers and watched as grew wetter and wetter and closer to oblivion.

"That's it. Let go for me. I'm right here, beautiful," I pled as I changed tempo knowing she was teetering just on the edge of exploding.

"Edward!" she shouted as her body trembled as she came drenching my fingers through the lace.

I slowed my strokes kissing her lips gently letting her come down from her blissful high until she lay still, gorgeous and glowing from her orgasm. Now that was one hell of a sight to see, Bella in orgasmic bliss.

"Baby? Are you okay?" I asked when she didn't speak for several minutes. Her eyes closed and her breathing finally returned to normal. I pulled her closer to my side and kissed her over and over on top of her head hoping and praying that I hadn't gone too far.

She slowly opened her eyes and stretched like a cat. When our eyes met she finally spoke. I could see adoration and something akin to embarrassment there.

"Thank you, Edward. That was amazing. I never knew it could be that way. But I didn't touch you like I planned to. I'm sorry I was selfish. I can help finish you …"

I kissed to silence her as I chuckled at my angel.

"You're welcome, beautiful. But why do you think you were selfish? If anything I was the greedy one."

"But I didn't … you didn't get to …"

"Hush. I'm fine. I need no more apologies. It was worth every second to watch you come apart for me like you did," I said as I kissed her. "Tonight was the best night of my life so far and I plan to share many more with you, Miss Swan. Now, I know you're tired. Let's get some sleep, okay?" I said as I pulled her close and covered us up.

"Okay. I am exhausted. Thank you again for everything. Tonight was better than I ever dreamed. Good night, Edward. I love you."

I kissed her once more and tucked her into my chest as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

"I love you more than words can say. Thank you for letting me in, Bella. Sweet dreams."

**Whew! I'm as worn out as they are! They're making progress and they finally said what was in their hearts…I love you. Bella is finally letting Edward in. Ahhhh. Love it? Hate it? Other thoughts? Please hit that review button and let me know what you think so far. Hopefully by the next update I will get my laptop back and get my banner on my blog, Edward's My Obsession71. Till next time…**


	19. Chapter 19

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 19

**A/N: WOW again. Thank you to each reader. I've tried to reply to each review and PM but if I missed you or you don't allow PM's, know I read and love each one I get. MUCH thanks to Twi Fic for pimping out my story and to my Twitter fam that is rec'ing it out too…and still can't say enough about my pre-reader/beta team of twimom817 and kare831. They keep this looking like there is an adult writing it (wait…I'm an adult now? Oh yeah, I'm 40.) and they keep me on track when I get "out there" which is too often**.** Also humble thanks to(at) credoroza on Twitter for featuring this story on her blogspot 12/10/11 and my for author interview posted on 12/11/11. fandomfanatic (dot) blogspot (dot) com. **

_**BPOV**_

I awoke the next morning with my head lying on Edward's bare chest with my arm lying lazily across his stomach. His arms wrapped safely around me as he slept peacefully. I smiled. Part of me hadn't wanted to wake up fearing that everything had just been a dream … a very good dream, but still just something I'd created in my mind none the less. The feel of his warm body draped over mine made it all real. I didn't want to move from my perfect location but nature trumped the moment and I really needed to get up. I had no idea what time it was but I could see the light morning gray sky peeping through the blinds.

I carefully removed myself from his sleeping form and rolled silently from his bed. It was then that I noticed my near topless body. Panicked and clad only in my bra and his sagging sleep pants, I looked around the room for my shirt, remembering that Edward had tossed it away the night before. Blushing profusely, I recalled the dim candlelight last night, knowing he couldn't really see my skin clearly but my insecurities still kicked in. I needed to be covered before he woke up.

I tiptoed to the bathroom and took care of the most immediate need thanking the Lord that Aunt Flo hadn't made an early visit before I slipped back into the room in search of something to cover up with. I had just made it around the foot of the bed when I was stopped in my tracks by movement in the bed. Shit! I ducked quickly so he could only see my face.

"Mmmm, Bella? Where'd ya go?" Edward asked groggily as he propped up looking around the room for me.

Now, I know in all the romance novels and Fan fiction stories I've read, people always wake up facing their partner without morning breath and not a hair out of place. I cringed because I knew I had to look like Medusa with my long hair in knots and my makeup smeared around my eyes. My breath probably smelled like a garbage disposal. I cursed myself for not taking a minute to look in the mirror or at least gargle while I was in the bathroom. But Edward? He looked mega hot with his hair in disarray and I bet his breath is always minty fresh.

"Um, I'm down here, uh looking for my shirt," I replied as I looked desperately through the pile of our clothes.

"What in the world for? It's early, baby. Come back to bed. We'll look for it later."

"I, uh …I need …"

"Bella, please, just get back up here. I miss you already."

I sighed knowing I wasn't going to win this debate and it wasn't fair for me to deny him anything after last night. He'd made me feel something amazing I'd never felt before even with my own self gratification. I crawled around to my side of the bed and quickly slid in. My face was on fire as I positioned myself as far away from him as possible covering every inch of exposed flesh besides my face. Edward was lying on his side facing me with a troubled look on his face.

"What's wrong? Why are you hiding yourself and don't tell me "nothing's wrong", baby. I can see it in your eyes and that's all of you I _can_ see. Talk to me."

I turned my body toward his making sure to keep the sheet tucked close to my chin. What do you say to the man who spoke his love for you in this very place? One that brought your body to inexplicable heights in multiple ways just a few hours earlier. What's the proper etiquette for a post-orgasmic-non-sex-morning after? I have no clue.

"I, uh … I mean, I don't know what I'm supposed to say or do after last night," I said truthfully but somehow my voice was as small as a child's.

Edward made a grunting noise as he scooted closer to me. He watched me for a few seconds before he reached for me and pulled me the remaining distance until I was flush against his body; only the tangled sheets between us. Even with the buffer of the bedding I could feel his hardened length against my stomach. Sometime during the night he must have ditched the pajama pants. My head was spinning. He tangled his hand into my hair and brought my mouth just millimeters from his.

"I have a few ideas, Bella. You wanted me to show you how to touch me. Are you still willing to learn?" he said heavily as his eyes darkened and his mouth descended upon mine, all morning breath quickly forgotten.

Edward tugged at the sheet separating our bodies until he removed the impeding fabric, never breaking contact with my mouth. His hands began to roam over my upper body until they settled around my lower back, crushing my lower half to his. I was overcome with a foreign emotion. Want, maybe?

"Yes. Show me what you need. I want to make you feel good," I answered, my voice taking on a sultry edge I'd never heard before.

"Hmmm. My body is aching for your touch, Bella. I want to show you how much I need you right now."

I couldn't speak. All I could do was nod as he reached for my hand. He took my lack of voice as hesitance on my part.

"Baby, I want this but if you aren't ready or want to stop …"

"No! I need to feel you, Edward. Please, show me how."

He nodded and linked my hand in his as he guided them slowly down his bare chest and onto his taut abdomen. I could feel the thickening of his hair under my fingers and it seemingly continued under the waist of his boxer briefs. My breaths were coming in short gasps as he finally lowered our hands over his erect cock, hissing as my hand made contact through his boxers. Even though I had no point of reference to go by, I knew he was well-endowed. I let out the breath I wasn't aware I was holding.

"Do you feel that, Bella? How fucking hard I am for you?"

He began slowly moving our joined hands up to the tip and then back down again to the base, increasing the pressure as we began the route again. After several passes showing me how and what he liked, he removed his hand from mine allowing me to set my own pace. I watched his eyes close as he lowered himself onto his back leaving me to lay beside him. I worked his length at a steady pace knowing from his grunts that I must be doing it right. I was getting warm and damp just touching him through his clothes and I wanted more.

"Oh, that feels good, baby. So good," Edward said through clinched teeth as his eyes opened and he pulled my mouth to his for a searing kiss.

I repositioned myself where I was able to deepen the kiss as I slowed my movements but kept my hand moving on him, debating my next move. I was needy and breathless. I wanted to feel him … all of him. Now. Tediously I ran my hands over his chest focusing on his tender nipples for a moment keeping our lips in contact while warring with myself on how to move forward. Today I was going to be stronger than my doubts.

I ran my hand back down to the top of his boxers and slid my fingers cautiously under the band making contact with the tip of his manhood. The skin felt soft yet I could feel the pulsing strength as I slid my hand down his shaft, reveling in the feel of silk over steel.

"Fuuuuuck. B …Bella. You … I …fuck!" Edward exclaimed as he propped up on his forearms to watch me. He bucked his hips making his cock twitch in my hands.

I sucked my bottom lip into my teeth as I wrapped my hand around his girth, not quite able to accomplish that fully. I kept eye contact with him as I continued to pump and stroke his cock. Edward's mouth dropped open as he watched my hand move over his hot flesh.

After several minutes, Edward's breathing changed and his cock seemed to grow even larger in my hand. I was amazed that I was doing this to him. Although I hadn't been able to make myself look down to actually see his body below the sheet, I was flying high knowing I'd crossed this hurdle. I felt powerful and sexy, returning the feelings to him that he'd caused in me the night before. I was already looking forward to the next time.

"Baby…oh, shit … I'm … I'm …gonna …ung …cum!"

I was suddenly afraid at what to do. I know my climax had exploded suddenly. Would his be the same? Do I keep on stroking him? Why had I not asked this before now?

Sensing my panic, Edward grasped my hand and changed the angle, keeping the steady pace. A few erratic strokes later he let out a guttural noise that made my hair stand on end and caused me to flood my already soaked panties as he pulsated in my hand, releasing his warm essence onto his stomach. He slowed our movements and finally removed our hands as he collapsed back onto the bed, pulling me along beside him.

My heart was beating out a staccato rhythm that seemed to match Edward's as I searched out his lips and kissed him softly as he came down from his high. Never had I felt so much love for someone. Edward stroked my hair and kissed me once more before he looked into my eyes and spoke.

"You were amazing, baby. That was incredible and fucking over the top. Best wake up I have ever had. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, and good morning. We uh, kind of skipped that, huh?"

I laughed at the jovial expression on is face. I wanted that look to always be on his face.

"Good morning. I'm glad it was good for you. Um, I liked doing it for you."

Edward reached over the side of the bed looking for something, sighing when he couldn't easily reach or find whatever it was. He sat up, wincing at the sticky substance on his belly.

"Um, I think I need to go do something about this mess. Give me a minute to go clean up. Stay put. No shirt. I want you just like this when I get back. Got it?"

I giggled again and gave him a military salute.

"Got it, Doc. I'll be waiting. Now scram."

Edward laughed as he slid from the bed, grabbed his discarded pajama bottoms from under the sheets and closed the bathroom door behind him. I'll wait as long as it takes, just like he asked.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

_**EPOV**_

I closed the bathroom door behind me and went to the sink. I wanted to let out a 'hell yeah' and do some kind of cliché touchdown dance but all I could do was lean against the counter. My Bella surprised me. She gave one hell of a hand job for someone who's never given one before. Things had never been like this with Tanya. She was a taker and never felt it was important to ever give in return. I'd assumed all women were alike, which was one of the many reasons I'd not dated after Tanya. What was even more surprising was that I never missed this kind of contact with a woman. I hadn't felt the need until I met Bella.

My sweet, innocent and fucking sexy Bella.

It didn't escape my knowledge that she never actually _looked _at my dick when she was pumping me, but there was plenty of time for that later. I could see the look on her face when she finally took that big step. The fact is she let her guard down, without the effect of any drug or alcohol, and made the move to touch me _on her own_. I was one lucky son of a bitch.

Grabbing a washcloth from the shelf, I made quick work of pulling off my boxers and cleaning the jizz off my belly so I could return to my girl. The girl that now knows just how I feel about her and by sheer luck she feels the same way about me. Nothing and I mean _nothing_ could make me any happier than I am at this moment unless it would be waking up _every_ morning to her lithe body folded into mine. Damn it, but it's way too soon for that move. I washed my hands after I threw the washcloth in the hamper, pulled on the pants commando style and went back to Bella.

She was lying on her side facing me as I entered the room. Words wouldn't do justice to how I felt when I looked into those deep chocolate eyes. She was still flushed from earlier which made her skin so beautiful but I could see in her eyes the internal battle to duck and hide her body as I moved closer.

God, I wanted to touch her, all over. I had an idea and hoped that it would take some of the fears away so I darted back into the bathroom and grabbed a tub of thick lotion that I used on my hands to help with the dryness from powdered rubber gloves and repetitive hand washing.

I made my way over to the bed and sat down beside Bella. She looked at the lotion in my hand and back up to my face with a questioning expression. Hoping that she would be willing to take me up on my proposal I decided to just come out and ask.

"Bella, I know you're sensitive about your skin and I know that if you were at home that you'd shower and lotion up as soon as you woke up. There are towels, body wash and shampoo in my bathroom as well as my robe on the hook behind the door. Why don't you go take a nice, hot shower and meet me back here when you're done? We'll make sure you're all lotioned up. I'll go make some coffee and straighten up the bed while you're in there. Okay?"

Bella looked at me and then to the bathroom door. _Come on, beautiful. Do this for me._

"Okay. A shower really sounds nice. I'll just um, go in there and do that," she finally replied as she eased herself up in the bed with those damn sheets up to her chin.

I know she's waiting for me to leave before she gets up. That's not happening. I promised I'd go slow and let her lead but a little nudge wasn't going to hurt. At least I hope it won't.

I reached for her hand and kissed the palm as I pulled her out from the covers. When we were standing I took her face in my hands. She was trying and that was all I could hope for, but her self-struggle was apparent. I was committed to this relationship and will do whatever it takes to break her barriers down.

"I love you, Bella. I love ALL of you, remember? You're okay. It's just you and me. Now, go. I'll see you when you get out."

With a brief kiss I motioned her towards the bathroom door and she made her way quickly inside and closed the door. I waited outside until I heard the shower begin then made my way downstairs to the kitchen.

All the clocks were flashing so I grabbed my cell to see what time it really was. Noting it was just seven in the morning I was hoping that Bella would want to mess around a little and maybe nap before I had to make that inevitable trip back to UW. It was Sunday and neither of us had class or work today but I wasn't sure about what she had planned before the storm changed things. I set the clocks in the kitchen as I put in a fresh pot of coffee. I hadn't prepared for Bella to stay the night so I was hoping to find something from my Mom's visit to make to eat later. If I have my way she won't be leaving anytime soon.

I left the coffee to brew and went back upstairs to straighten up the bed. I smiled at all the reasons the bed was in such disarray, and hoping that I had to fix it again tonight after Bella was gone. I fluffed up the pillows and remade the bed. When I was satisfied, I placed the lotion on the bed taking a seat on my side when I had things in order. I decided to turn on some music but remembered that I'd left my iDock at the restaurant so I grabbed the remote to my stereo system and shuffled till classic rock music was playing softly. Just a few minutes later the bathroom door creaked open and a very flushed and shy Bella emerged. She had my robe tied tightly around her tiny waist and her hair hung damp down her back. She stopped midway to the bed and fiddled with the sash.

"Um, thank you for letting me shower."

"You don't have to thank me, baby. I just want you to be comfortable. Come over here and I'll help you lotion."

Bella slowly made her way to the bed and eased herself up on top of the comforter. I was taking a huge risk by pulling her from her comfort zone. I would have to take this slow and easy.

When she got positioned with her back to me I scooted up behind her placing my legs on either side of hers. I reached up and moved her hair around to let it fall over her left shoulder. She was tense so I took a few minutes to gently rub her shoulders over the robe and places kisses on top of her head every few seconds and whispering words of encouragement. She seemed to relax under my touch so I carefully pulled the back of the robe down exposing her neck and shoulders to me. I opened the lid to the lotion and took out a small amount on my fingers before placing my hand on her bare skin. She jumped slightly at my touch but didn't make a move to stop me.

I kneaded her supple flesh softly, spreading the lotion as I made my way across her shoulders and up her neck. She was so soft and feminine. After I had thoroughly taken care of what skin I could safely reach it was time to push the envelope, hoping I said the right words.

"I know this is a big step for you but I'm right here with you. I want you to undo the sash and let the robe down so I can reach your back. Can you trust me to do this for you, Bella?"

She swallowed audibly and dropped her head to her chest. Her arms were wound tightly around her front like she was holding herself together. This was big and I wasn't sure if she would or even if she could make that move right now. I held my breath waiting for some type of response. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"I love you so much and I want to be normal for you, Edward. I do. I'm just so ashamed of my body and afraid that you will be repulsed by it. Please tell me that you understand. It doesn't make sense, I know, since you've seen me already, but that fear is real. I hate to keep whining about it but I just can't make myself stop doing it. I do trust you but you'll have to help me. I don't think I can do it. Please? Can you just… untie it for me?"

I let out the air I was holding. If she needed me to help her make that step I would gladly do so. Part of me wanted to be a patient boyfriend and the other part was a horny bastard that just wanted to see her naked.

"Alright, I can do that for you. Just relax, baby. I'm not repulsed by you and I love you too much to ever hurt you. I understand that you're afraid but I promise you on my life that there is nothing under this robe that will change my mind about us. Put your arms down and I'll reach around and take it off for you."

"Okay. I'm ready," Bella replied shakily as she let her hands fall to her sides.

I reached around her and felt for the ties knowing that I was again going to have to use all my willpower not to touch her any way she wasn't ready for. My fingers twitched as I untied the sash. I pulled the robe from her body and let it fall as I took in the sight before me as I ran my hands lovingly over her back.

Her skin was like porcelain marred by the reddened areas of active psoriasis across her lower back and up near her shoulder blades. There were several plaques that were noticeable and a few newer ones that I didn't remember seeing a few weeks before. I didn't want this to become an exam so I took the newfound information and stored it away for another time. I got a healthy amount of lotion and rubbed it into my hands to warm it before I placed my hands on her back.

Just the act of applying the lotion was incredibly sensual. As I ran my hands over her back I paid special attention to her problem areas and I felt my cock twitch in my pants as I massaged her skin. I rubbed the tops of her perfect ass, her lower back and back up to her shoulder blades.

"Oh my God, that feels good, Edward," Bella moaned in approval.

Cue my boner. I was fooling myself to think that I could get through this without a raging hard on, but regardless of my condition I was ready for the next phase. I just wasn't sure if she was.

"Okay, baby. We need to get your legs, arms and front. Are you ready?"

"Um, my front? You want to rub …"

I was afraid this would happen but I couldn't be disappointed with the progress we'd made in such a little time. I was a patient man. I would wait.

"Shhh. It's okay. We can stop," I said as I reached for the robe but was met with Bella's hand stopping me.

I stilled as I watched Bella's head suddenly bob in a nod. What the …

"I want to, Edward. I want you to."

Well, fuck me. Brave Bella was out to play and who was I to stop her? Hell no. I shook my head and steeled myself repeating a mantra in my head. Be. A. Gentleman. Not. A. Perverted. Prick.

"Okay, baby. You get comfy. I'll follow your lead."

Bella sat for a minute and let out a long breath. She then drew her legs up underneath her body rising to her knees exposing her round ass to me as she shook her hair out letting it cascade down her back like ribbons. She turned slowly and was soon facing me since I hadn't moved an inch. I swallowed loudly as I was seeing Bella exposed to me for the first time. Pert breasts rested on her chest, tinted from her blush from my perusal. Her body was slim but curvy. Her thighs were parted slightly giving me a perfect view of her very bare pussy. Thank you, Rose!

Again I was speechless. I tried not to gawk at her but I failed miserably as my mouth suddenly dried out and I let in a gasp of air like a drowning man.

My Bella was still on her knees in front of my chest heaving with each breath making her breasts rise and fall. I rose to my knees and moved aside so she could lie down. Now I was the unsure one. I thought I was ready to move this along. I began to question whether or not I could I do this.

Bella crawled past me and lay back on the pillows letting her hair flow around her head like a mahogany halo. Her body presented to me like a Christmas gift, her eyes never leaving mine.

Somehow I managed to collect myself as I reached for the lotion and moved up closer to her body but staying to the side. I prepped myself. I _could_ do this. I _would_ do this.

I placed my hands above her breasts and began making small circular motions as I massaged the lotion into her skin. When that task was done and watching her for nonverbal cues I slowly moved my hands down until I was rubbing the outside of each breast and out to her sides. Bella squirmed as my hands made a wider tract coming under each breast and then taking each breast into my hands, kneading them gently.

"Oh … please. Don't stop," Bella said as she arched her back pushing her tits closer into my waiting hands.

_Oh, I wasn't going to stop unless you said so, baby. I'm enjoying this as much as you are. I'm ready for round three. She wanted this, so I'm running with it. _

"You like when I touch your breasts, beautiful?" I asked as I tweaked her pink nipples watching her fall into a daze.

"Mmmhmm."

"Oh baby. I love touching your tits. It's just like you were fucking made for my hands."

I stopped long enough to spread more lotion in my hands and I resumed my assault on her breasts until her nipples were full and erect. I moved my hands down to her flat belly and paid attention to the area around her navel, where she had another area of afflicted skin.

After that area was thoroughly lotioned I refilled and moved down to her long legs. Starting at her feet and making the slow, torturous trial up her calves, past her knees and up to her thighs. God, I was so close to the Promised Land. There was no hiding as she continued to writhe and tremor under my touch. Her legs were parted allowing my hands ample movement. Her bare, glistening pussy just inches from my massaging fingers. Just like last night, she was aroused by just my touches. The smell of her infused in the air and the sounds of her soft whimpers fueled my ever hardening cock.

I was running out of options with my massage but I'd gladly start all over if it meant I got to keep touching her. I'd fared so much better than I had ever dreamed when this idea popped into my head. I was so proud of her and I sure didn't want her thinking I was disappointed.

I stopped after one last pass over her thighs since I was just prolonging the end and crawled back up beside her, greeting her eagerly with a long kiss. We were both breathless afterwards as I lay down beside her.

She turned her body unabashed toward me and looked to me as if I'd hurt her. I was confused. I thought she'd wanted this to happen. Maybe I misread the signs. FUCK! Please no.

"You stopped."

Huh? I stopped what? The massage?

_Yeah, baby. I stopped before I took something that I didn't ask you for. _

"Uh, yeah. I'm sorry. Do you want me to massage you again? I will …"

"No, that's not what I meant. You stopped touching me when you got …_there_."

Now those were words I wasn't expecting from Bella.

"Um …yes, I did stop. I did because we didn't talk about that ahead of time."

"Did you want to touch me?"

_Yes!_

"Baby, I always want to touch you but I'm fine. I enjoyed what we did and I'm so proud of you for letting me touch you as much as you did. You're very sexy, Bella. I'll touch you whenever you want me to when you're ready, and not before."

"Then touch me. I want you to."

I sat up and looked down at the beautiful creature looking back up at me with clear eyes. There was nothing but truth in her eyes and her words.

"Are you sure, baby? That's a bigger step than I was expecting."

"I'm sure. I feel like I'm going to explode if you don't touch me. Please, Edward. Please show me how much you love me."

There was no hesitance in my body as I moved over her body, hovering above hers as I attacked her mouth with mine. I swept all the pent up tension into my kiss. Demanding, taking and receiving as I slid my knee between her thighs parting her open for me.

Slowly I trailed my hands down her silky skin touching and paying homage to all I could on my way down, down, down until I felt the small mound of bare flesh. I kept my mouth moving in time with her desperate kisses as my hand slipped below its resting spot and cupped her fully, feeling her slick sweet flesh under my fingers.

I ran one finger up her slit spreading the moisture until I reached her swollen nub.

"Oh, Gawwwd," Bella panted as I began making small but firm circles over her sensitive bundle of nerves.

"That's it, beautiful. Come apart for me."

I decided to press my luck and slide my face down her body until I was above her heaving breasts. I flicked my tongue out over her closest peak before I took it fully into my mouth.

"Shit! Ohmygod, ohmygod. So good. "

I continued sucking on one tit and then the other as I increased the speed and pressure on her clit with my finger, feeling her cries increase as I brought her closer to climax. I moved my middle finger down her pussy until I reached her drenched honey hole. I circled it a few times before I slowly inserted my finger into her tightness and began pumping it slowly in and out.

"Fuck, Bella. You're so wet and goddamn tight. Does that feel good when I touch you like this?" I asked as I increased the speed on both fingers working her at the same time.

"Yes, yes, yes! Don't you dare fucking stop! I'm …close," she spat out as she roughly grabbed both her fists full of my hair.

"Cum for me, baby. Cum all over my fingers. Let go for me."

Her breathing increased and it was taking all my concentration and strength to keep her in the bed. She was bucking below my hand so hard that she was jarring the entire frame and pulling me bald at the same time. I didn't give a damn. Let her pull me bald. Seconds later she let out a low groan and convulsed in her climax drenching my hand in her sweet essence.

I continued playing her with my fingers until she came down from her orgasm with a lazy smile on that gorgeous face. I stopped and looked her in the eyes as I cleaned her juices from my fingers garnering another moan from those sweet lips; lips that I was ready to kiss again.

I drug myself back up her body and kissed her softly, knowing she was tasting herself on my lips.

"That was extraordinary, Bella. You are amazing to watch when you cum. So beautiful."

Bella signed and tucked herself into my side, exhausted from the morning and basking in the moment.

"It was perfect and loving, just like you, Edward. Thank you," she said as she yawned.

"Are you tired, Bella?" I asked, knowing the answer as she stilled beside me.

"Mmmhmm. Can I nap awhile before you have to take me home?"

Shit. I do have to take her home but it was still early. I was in no hurry for her to go.

"Baby, you can do whatever you want. The coffee will be on when you get up. I have nowhere to be today but right here beside you. I'm pretty beat, too. We'll sleep until we're ready to get up as far as I'm concerned. Then I want to talk to you about a few medical things. Rest now, my Bella. I love you."

"Mmm, I love you to, Edward."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**Well, our little lovebirds made quite a nest in that storm, didn't they? Moving along nicely…much to Edward's relief and Bella's insistence. There's still much to do. Jacob is still lurking about and there are shots to give and birth control to be discussed. Yes, they may need that sometime in the near future. Leave me your thoughts and please review if you can. I love reading them. You can also catch me on Twitter at lakermom37 or on my blog, edwardsmyobsession1971 (dot) blogspot (dot) com. See ya next week!**


	20. Chapter 20

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment. **

**(Oops, I forgot this on Chapter 19)**

**A/N: Just briefly, thanks to all the readers, reviewers and lurkers alike as well as my Twitter friends. Thanks to twimom817 and kare831 for keeping me honest and for making this readable. It's been a rough past few weeks for me, emotionally and physically, with a huge flare of my Psoriasis and the Psoriatic Arthritis is rearing its ugly head so my back and hands have been swollen and stiff, making sitting for long periods, writing or typing almost impossible. Enough with me, it will pass so here we go…**

_**EPOV**_

I enjoyed my brief nap with Bella although I didn't sleep much but watched her rest instead. I guess it's the little things in life that make us the happiest and right now I'm a happy man. Not only had I gotten to spend much more time with Bella than I had originally planned due to the storm, but I had also hopefully earned her trust that would progress our relationship forward, both emotionally and physically.

The thought of her writhing in her climax and remembering the feel of her hands on my cock stirred my body causing me to take several deep breaths. I needed to let her rest. As much as I'd love to repeat our experiences together, over and over, I most certainly didn't want her to think that I was only interested in sex.

I crept silently from the covers and looked down once more at Bella sleeping soundly on her belly, her hands hugging her pillow. My heart ached to leave her but I needed to make a few calls, first to Alice and then to Carlisle. It crossed my mind earlier today that Bella had been here for weeks and she hadn't mentioned her need to find a local gynecologist for her birth control shot and also that she hadn't gotten set up for her weekly Enbrel injections. She needed the Enbrel soon to stay on schedule and I sure as hell didn't want her birth control to lapse. I hoped Carlisle would have the answers I needed.

I crossed the room and put on the first sweatshirt I found in the closet. I also found Bella's clothes flung all over in the corner, so I laid them out on the foot of the bed so she could dress when she awoke. With a quick kiss to her temple, I grabbed my cell and went downstairs. I had five missed calls and ten text messages … most of them from my sister but one text was from Emmett, and one call from my folks. I hated that I had worried them.

The coffeepot had kicked off so I turned it back on to warm up the coffee. I sat down at the table to make my first call after I read my messages and listened to the voicemails.

The phone barely rang three times before Alice picked up."

"Edward Anthony Cullen! You had better have a good excuse for not answering your phone! I've left at least 3 voicemails! I've been worried sick and was thirty seconds from coming to your place with reinforcements!" Alice ranted.

"Good morning to you too, Alice. Calm down. Did you not get my …"

"No I did not! So, cut the crap. I'm in no mood for it."

"If you must know, Alice, I drained Bella of all her blood in a fit of vampire-rage last night. Her body has been dismembered and buried in numerous locations across the Pacific Northwest," I answered calmly knowing this was probably a bad move but chuckling at her tenacity.

"Hardly humorous, Edward, seriously," Alice replied but I could tell she was calming down.

"Okay, seriously. We're both fine. I did text you last night when we got back to my place. My phone shows that the message sent but I guess it didn't go through. Our date went great and afterwards we came back here to watch movies. The storm hit and knocked out all our power. By the way, Bella is terrified of storms so remember that for future reference. It wasn't safe to drive so I set her up here for the night. In fact, she's still sleeping. We were up most of the night."

"Mmmhmm. Up all night? Not touching that. Alright, I'm sorry for jumping down your throat but I honestly had no idea. Em, Mom or Dad hadn't heard from you either. We were all hoping you were at your place but had no idea for sure. So, ya'll had a good time, huh?"

"Yes, we did. I'm sure Bella will fill you in when I bring her home later today … much later today."

I could sense the smile on Alice's face.

"Good. I'm really glad for you both, Edward. She's such a genuine person who needs someone like you."

"Thanks, Pix. I'm the happiest I've ever been and I have no plans to ever have her out of my life. Now, I better go. I need to let Em know we're okay and call Mom and Dad. Talk to you later."

"Love you, Bro. Tell Bella I called. See you tonight."

I hung up feeling lucky to have such a caring family. I typed out a quick text to Emmett and then dialed my parent's house.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mom."

"Oh thank goodness, Edward. We were getting worried! Oh and call Alice. She's been frantic."

"Bella and I are fine. We didn't want to risk driving in that storm so we stayed here. I already spoke to Pix. Sorry that we worried you guys. I didn't have electricity or cell service."

"That's excusable so I'll let it slide this time. So, tell me all about it, Son. Did everything work out as you planned?"

I laughed. Boy, did things ever work out …

"Yeah, we had a good time. Everything was perfect. I really like her, Mom."

Mom let out a gasp and then I heard a 'thank you, Lord' under her breath.

"That's so wonderful. I'm so happy for both you and Bella. She is such a lovely woman, very special, and you have so much to offer. I want you both to come to see us soon, okay? I want to get to know Bella better although she feels like part of the family already."

"We will, Mom and thank you for that. I don't plan on letter her go. Hey, is Dad home? I need to ask him a question."

"He sure is. Hold on a minute. He's in his office reading."

"Okay, thanks."

I waited a few seconds while Mom took the phone to Dad.

"Hello, Son. Mom says you need to talk to me."

"Yeah, I do. I don't want to overstep my boundaries or imply anything by asking this but has Bella talked to you or Dr. Stewart about finding a GYN here in Seattle?"

"No, she hasn't but I haven't talked to her since you two were over here. Is something going wrong?"

"Nothing like that, Dad. I just know she has been caught up with school and I thought she might need some assistance. Could you or Dr. Stewart maybe make some calls and get her set up with someone, preferably female? I don't feel comfortable doing it myself since I'm not professionally involved. Also she needs to get set up for her injections."

"I can do that, Edward. I'll have some GYN contacts available for her when she comes in the office. She is due a shot today but tomorrow should work well to get her on an in-office schedule. Changing the subject, I assume things went well last night?"

"Things went far above what I expected. We got stranded here last night; in fact Bella's still sleeping," I said with a grin.

Dad chuckled and I could visualize his expression as he sat in his leather chair behind his desk. Great minds think alike and all that.

"Well, I'm glad to hear things went so well. I won't keep you on the phone since you have more important company to keep. Let Bella know to stop by anytime after classes tomorrow. I'll make sure Maggie has everything set up for every Monday afternoon."

"Thanks, Dad. See you tomorrow."

I hung up and made myself and Bella a cup of coffee each before making my way back to my bedroom. Bella was stirring from her nap exposing her naked back to me as she stretched. I groaned internally knowing that I'd have to rein myself in before I lost all control.

"Hey, beautiful. Sleep well?" I asked as I set the mugs on the bedside table and took a seat on the bed beside my girl.

Bella rolled to her back and pulled the sheet up covering her breasts with a sly smile on her face.

"Yes, I did. Do I smell coffee?"

"I'm glad, baby and you do smell coffee. I made you a cup but it's black. I didn't know how you drank yours," I said as I reached for her mug.

"Black's fine. Thank you. Um, I guess I need to get dressed first."

I could tell she was lost at what to do next and I didn't want to make things awkward. I leaned down to kiss her softly, grazing my hand down her jaw.

"I'll just take the coffee back to the living room. Take your time."

I took the coffee and left the room, retreating back to the living room. I flipped on the television to check the news as I sipped on my drink.

Ten minutes later, Bella descended the steps barefoot and dressed in my big sweatshirt and my lounge pants, looking more beautiful than I'd ever seen her. There was a glow about her that just made her sparkle. I smiled and patted the couch beside me willing her to come closer to me. Bella smiled back and joined me on the couch. I needed to touch her so I took her hand in mine.

We sat in silence for awhile, holding hands and drinking our coffee while watching some random news show. I wanted to talk to her about what had happened between us last night and about what Carlisle had said so I muted the television and turned to face her on the couch.

"Bella, I just wanted to let you know that I meant it when I said that I love you. Last night was so special for me, for you to trust me like you did. Thank you. We didn't get much chance to talk about what physically happened though, so I wanted to let you know that you can still ask me anything, okay?"

Bella turned five shades of red but didn't duck when she replied.

"I'm okay with everything that happened, Edward. It was special for me too. You were so patient and kind. You made me feel beautiful. I have no other words … I didn't know that love could be so intense. I couldn't have opened up like I did last night if I didn't love you as well."

I pulled her closer to my side and nuzzled her hair.

"Love is a powerful emotion, baby. I want you to know that the same rules apply now just as before. I won't ever push you into moving faster than you're ready for."

"See? You're perfect for me. I do want to try _that _again soon," Bella said quietly.

"We will, I promise you that," I laughed. "You're too sexy for me to stay away from any longer. But I also wanted to talk to you about something else important. I talked to Carlisle while you were sleeping. He's going to have your injection ready at the office tomorrow and every Monday afternoon after that so you can stay on schedule. I'll be there if you need help but I doubt you'll need me since you're proficient in self-injection. He's also going to have a list of local GYN's that you can see for your birth control."

Bella blanched at the last comment, just as I feared. I felt her tense up and I knew what she was thinking. I took both hands and cradled her face.

"Listen to me. I'm not bringing that topic up because I expect you to need it anytime soon. But, I also want you to stay with all your current meds, including whatever birth control you choose to keep your body regulated. I hate sounding like a doctor but I'm sure you're well aware of what can happen if you discontinue yours meds. The hormone change can cause a bad flare and we don't want that to happen."

"I know. It's just hard to discuss that with you."

"Sweetheart, I've seen all of you and you have no idea what you do to me. Well, maybe you do now, but still. I want you to feel like you can talk to me about these things. I didn't mean to upset you by making the call to Carlisle."

"I do want to stay on my shots. Thank you for setting that up for me. Sorry if I acted childish. Old habits die hard, but I'm trying not to shut down on you anymore."

"You're welcome. It's all set up so let's just move past it. Now, let's fix something to eat. We have some vampire movies to watch."

Bella and I cooked breakfast side by side, joking and holding each other like an old married couple. It was nice to have someone in the apartment with me. I hadn't realized how lonely I was until now.

After we ate we snuggled on the couch watching our movies, touching innocently and sharing the occasional kiss. I loved every second. It was just like breathing … easy.

Late that afternoon, Bella sat up and looked at the clock. It was after five and I knew my time was up. Damn.

"Edward, I hate to go. Really I do. But I have some homework that I need to go back to the dorm and work on."

I sighed wishing she didn't have to leave. I gave her a chaste kiss and told her I was going to go shower and get dressed, giving her time to get ready as well. I'd run her home after I took her to eat supper.

I took a nice hot shower, letting the water relax my body that was coiled like a spring. I wanted her, in every way. My mind knew that I had gotten way more than I had expected but my body wanted it all. I cleared my mind as I dried off, wanting to enjoy our last minutes together.

I dressed quickly and grabbed her purse from the table in my room before I rejoined Bella in the living room. She had redressed in her attire from the date since that was all she had with her. When things settle down, I'm going to get Alice to pack me a few things to keep over here, just in case. I grabbed my cell, keys and wallet and took Bella by the hand.

"Okay. Ready to go?"

Bella nodded and I escorted her down to my car. When we got in I wondered where she'd like to eat, praying that she'd want to go somewhere that actually served meat and potatoes instead of small portions of rabbit food.

"Um, I'm thinking a nice, greasy burger and French fries. Is that good?"

I couldn't help but love her even more. She didn't have those predisposed ideas that made dating so damn uncomfortable. Tanya had always eaten like a bird when we went out. Who lives on lettuce leaves and water alone? Bella was real and I loved it.

"Oh, now you're speaking my language. I know a nice little café a few miles from here. Best burger in Seattle."

We took a booth seat near the back but sat on the same side so I could hold her hand as we talked. Soon the waitress arrived at the table and I could tell by the way she was eyeing me that she was going to pay attention to only me. That's not happening. Who the hell are these people that see right past this gorgeous creature sitting beside me?

"I'm Kris and I'll be your waitress tonight. Can I start you out with a couple of drinks?" she asked me as she handed me two menus.

"Baby, what would you like to drink?" I asked as I handed Bella a menu making sure I made clear that she was my top priority.

"I'll have a Coke, please."

"Okay, a Coke for the lady and a root beer for me. Thanks."

I made no eye contact with the waitress and she soon hustled off to fill our order.

"What's good here, Edward?"

I'd never had anything bad here and I was thankful that Bella seemed unaffected by the waitress and her actions.

"Well, they have been voted the "Best Burgers in Seattle" for ten years running, so anything is good. I'm going to have a Red Mill Deluxe and an order of Babe's Onion Rings. What about you?"

"Um, I'm thinking of the Verde Burger and French fries."

Hmm, my girl likes spicy!

"You do know that burger has fire-roasted peppers, right?"

"Yes, silly boy. I may be from Phoenix but I can still _read_ the menu. I love hot, spicy foods," Bella giggled.

And I love that sound. I threw my hands up in surrender.

"Alright, little girl. I won't argue with you. Hot and spicy it is."

The café was fairly busy but not overcrowded. Our waitress was covering a large section alone so I knew it might take a few minutes for her to return. I wasn't in any hurry to end our time together and I wanted to get to know everything about her so I decided to ask her some questions.

"So, you've met my family. Tell me a little more about yours? I want to know all about you, Bella."

Bella sighed. I know her life hadn't been an easy one. I couldn't imagine living life hidden away from the world because people couldn't accept you for who you were. Bella had lived that way for so long.

"Well, there's not much to tell. I was born in Forks. Mom and Dad married young and I came along pretty early in the marriage. Dad is a realist and Mom is a dreamer. Mom wanted to see the world and Dad was content being the Chief of Police in a little, rainy town. When I was four, they divorced and Mom packed up and we left Forks for Phoenix. I grew up not knowing that other people had moms and dads living in the same house. They say I was a happy kid but I can't remember much about that. I visited Dad a few weeks in the summer but the distance was too far for much more than that."

"So, you lived most of your life in Arizona. What made you come back to Washington? Did you always want to write?" I asked as I ran my fingers over her knuckles.

"Mom dated a lot when I was a younger teen. I kind of became the parent and she the child. She was out living life and I stayed at home making sure that the house stayed in order and the bills got paid. I'm not bitter though. Mom loves me, she's just quirky. She had just started dating Phil, my step-dad, when I was 14, right after I was first diagnosed with psoriasis. You know already he's a baseball player, and they met at some post-game party and hit it off. He's a great guy and good for Renee. I was pretty much a recluse by the time they got serious and I was in college when they finally married. I was always at home or hiding out in a library somewhere but I knew they needed time to be newlyweds. I had a partial scholarship through my sophomore year so I looked into transferring to UW. Charlie would be close by but I needed to learn how to live without my relying on my parents so here I am. As far as the writing, I've always been able to immerse myself into a good book. Writing became a therapy for me when I was older. I could become anything in my writing; not just be the plain girl with the ugly skin. That reminds me, I still need to go to Phoenix soon and move my things to Washington. I dread that."

I understood but my heart was saddened by the life she'd led. I saw her need for the walls but hated them as well. She saw herself as plain and I saw her as the most beautiful and amazing person, so strong and caring. She'd barely glazed over her heartbreaking years and I didn't want our time to end in sadness. There would be plenty of time in the future to learn all I wanted to know and I hoped that she would allow me to drive her to Phoenix when she was ready. I kissed her hand hoping that she'd understand that I wouldn't push her for more today.

While Bella had been talking I couldn't shake the feeling that we were being watched. I scanned the nearby crowd, not seeing anyone that I could place but in a town this size who knew? I shook it off as I saw the waitress leave the counter and come our way.

The waitress brought our drinks and took our orders. I had so many questions but I didn't want to overwhelm her so I let her take charge of the conversation.

"So, when did you decide to become a doctor?" Bella asked.

"When I was younger I wanted to be my Dad. He was my hero. I'd always want to "help" and his life seemed so exciting. Sure, I'd changed my mind many times on what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I wanted that certain feeling of accomplishment. The thrill of helping someone that needed it. I love my chosen career path, although, now that I have you I wish I had more time to spend with you. Med school and my fellowship take up too much time now that I should be with you."

"I do want to spend as much time with you as possible but I never want you to sacrifice your goals. We are going into this knowingly. I will never ask more of you than you can give, I promise. Now promise me that you won't let our relationship interfere."

So selfless.

"Bella, I promise that won't happen but I won't promise that I will spend ever spare moment with you or thinking of you, as long as you'll have me. You have become the light in my life. I will never get tired of proving what you mean to me, or how much I love you."

"I love you too. So much it hurts some times when I think about us being apart."

"Which brings me to another point. I want to help you move your things from Phoenix. I couldn't bear you being so far away and alone. When you talk to your Mom and find out the time, let me know and I will work out the time off."

"Really? You'd want to go to all the way to Phoenix and then back to Forks?"

"Why wouldn't I? That's more time alone with you. I want to meet your parents and see your childhood home. That is the way relationships go, baby. Is that okay?"

"Um, yes. I'd love that."

"Good."

The waitress delivered our order and we tackled our food like we hadn't eaten in days. Bella was right …she can handle spicy and the moans she made as she ate made my blood run hot and my body tingle.

All too soon our bellies were full and it was time to make that damned trip back to U Dub. We walked to the car in silence and made our way back to campus. I led her to the dorm and stopped in the lobby. I wanted one last kiss before I had to go back to sharing her with everyone else. I pulled her close and our lips met while our tongues tangled until we were breathless and panting.

We chose the stairs and I stopped and kissed her several times on the way up the three flights of stairs. When we made it to the door I kissed her once more. I didn't want to leave but I was prolonging the inevitable. I stuck my head in the door and said hello to Alice and Rose before I turned to Bella.

"I love you, Isabella Swan."

"I love you, Edward Cullen."

We went in and the girls hugged and went into "Tell us everything" mode which was my cue to leave. I said my goodbyes and I kissed Bella once last time and told her I'd call her later. As I shut the door I heard the giggling begin.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**JPOV **_

I don't know how much longer I can sit here and watch her with this fucking douche. This is the most intense want I'd ever had and because of that I'd sat out in that damn storm all night waiting for her to leave his place.

I ate my food watching them and the rage in me grew. I watched him touch her. _My_ _Bella_. The body that I will take all I want from.

I followed them at a distance as he drove her back to Pattison. Soon and very soon he would not be a problem. _She's mine, you bastard and I always get what I want. Bella will be mine no matter what it takes or who I have to get rid of to make it happen. It will be like you never existed, I promise. _

**Uh oh. A little drama at the end of a lovely time. Let me know what you think. I love your reviews. Find me on Twitter at lakermom37 and there is a link to my blog on that profile. With Christmas being next weekend, I can't promise I will have the next chapter up by next weekend. RL is busy right now, but I have the next two chapters outlined so I will try my best to get you one before Sunday. If not, I want to wish everyone that celebrates it a Merry Christmas! Hope Santa brings you everything you've asked for…and that I get my new Kindle or Nook. Reading FFn on my iPhone when the laptops isn't available is killing these old eyes. _ Ahem, Santa? Did ya get that? _**


	21. Chapter 21

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment. **

**A/N: Happy New Year! Okay this chapter has been a total fail on many levels. First, I had the holidays. Second, I had a Psoriatic Arthritis flare up and didn't feel like writing. Third, when I did feel better I got a huge case of writers block (thanks kare831, twimom817 and Granny Pants Swan for talking me off the proverbial ledge). Lastly, my laptop died around Thanksgiving and the product key for my Windows Vista wouldn't reload when it was repaired. I had a temp version installed that was SUPPOSED to be good thru 1/6/12 so I had this chapter almost done (12/29) and BAM … 12/30 (today) I can't open my Windows. So, I have chapter 21 locked in my laptop and no way to retrieve it. Twimom817 still had a partial rough draft email that she so kindly sent to me so I'm now retyping it. Thanks a million, Jill! Now, on with the story. **

_**BPOV**_

I watched Edward leave from the window and missed him already. I sighed and made my way over to my dresser and grabbed a pair of sweats and a log sleeved t-shirt. Rose and Alice were watching me … waiting to attack like lionesses to their prey, giggling at me as I stumbled through the room trying to avoid eye contact. Thankfully they gave me a few minutes to change into my comfy clothes before the inquisition.

"So, Bella. How'd the date go? We need deets!" Rose asked as she was joined by Alice wearing an excited look on her face.

"Yeah, tell us everything!" Alice piped in.

Okay, I can do this without stammering, blushing or telling _everything_. It's harmless girl talk, right?

"The date was perfect. Edward took me to Sky City. We ate, danced and he bought me the prettiest flowers that I just remembered I left in his kitchen."

"Mmmhmm, go on," Alice prodded.

"Well, he rented the three Twilight movies so we went back to his place for drinks and to watch the movies. Then the storm hit knocking out the power and cell signals. Edward didn't think it was safe to drive so I stayed the night. That's about it," I replied with minimal eye contact so I would hopefully not give too much away.

"Oh, that Kellan is one hot piece of man meat, Bella. Makes me wish I was a vamp. Who was your favorite, Bella?" Rose said as she fanned herself.

"Um, I hadn't really thought about it."

I wasn't lying. With Edward there and all that happened I barely remember a thing about the movies but I guess that Rob guy was cute enough. He wasn't my Edward though.

"Mmm. Jackson is my favorite. I'd ride him like a horse. Anyhow Bella, that guest bed isn't the greatest for sleeping. I stayed there a few nights when Esme was remodeling. I hope he gave up his bed or at least the couch," Alice said innocently but I could see the wheels turning under that spiky hair.

I'm being baited and I can't lie. I've never been good at it. Maybe a half truth will fly?

"Oh, he um, offered all three. He was quite the gentleman. Hey, I really need to run to the library for awhile. I have papers due tomorrow," I said as I felt the heat rising on my cheeks.

Alice being, well, _Alice _looked at me closely for a few seconds like she was deciphering a riddle before she hopped from the bed and reached to give me a hug.

"Well, I'm glad you both had a good time. It will just get easier now that you both have the jitters behind you. We'll talk soon," she said, whispering the last part as she hugged me.

Rose put her arms around both Alice and me.

"Edward has been alone for a long time, Bella. You two are good together. I'm very happy for you both."

"Thank you both for everything. You're the best friends I've ever had," I said as we hugged and then laughed at our sappiness.

I had missed out on these times in my life. Girlfriends that I could talk to about anything and a boyfriend that was loving, kind and patient. How did I get so lucky in such a short period of time?

"Okay, I need to run to the library. I'll probably study there awhile before I come back. I have my phone. Oh, and Alice? Can you drop me off at your dad's office tomorrow afternoon, say around three or four? I need to get my injection and Edward will run me back here when he gets off work."

"Yeah, I can run you over there around three. No problem. Do you want Jazz or Emmett to walk you over to the library? We were going to run up and watch a movie in their room. I hate the idea of you being out alone," Alice asked.

"Nah, I'll be fine. Go hang out with your guys. I'll meet up with you when I'm done. I shouldn't be but a few hours."

"Okay, but call or text us when you're ready to leave. We WILL have someone there to walk you back or Edward will kill us all," Rose stated.

"I will, I promise. See you in a little while."

I grabbed my bag and slid my phone in my pocket. It was dusky dark but still light enough to see. After a few minutes I heard footsteps behind me so I sped up.

"Hey, wait up, Bella."

I stopped and saw that it was Jake trotting up beside me. I relaxed seeing who it was.

"Oh, hey Jake. You kind of scared me."

"You shouldn't be walking alone. Where ya headed and I'll walk with ya."

"Um, to the library. I'm okay, Jake. Really. You don't have to escort me, really."

Jake towered over me so I had to look up to see his face. His expression was hard to read but he looked like he was a cross between excited and pissed off.

"Now what kind of guy would just walk off and leave a pretty girl like you alone at dark. I'm not taking no as an answer. Come on."

We walked to the library in silence and he stopped when we got to the steps.

"Well, here you are. Safe and sound."

"Yeah. Um, thanks again, Jake," I said as I started in the door.

"Wait, Bella. I was gonna ask you if you wanted to grab lunch tomorrow. Get to know each other a little better. It'll be my treat."

Jake grabbed my shoulder and turned me to face him. Crap! I have no idea how to handle this.

"Um, thanks for the invitation but I can't. I, um, have a boyfriend so I don't think that would be wise but I appreciate you asking me," I replied as I tried to inch closer to the door kicking myself for not taking the guys up on the escort.

"Boyfriend, huh? Well, maybe he's up for a little competition," Jake laughed aloud as he lifted his hand from my shoulder and ran it slowly down my cheek, stopping as held he my chin. "I'll see you around, Bella."

Jake turned and walked back onto the sidewalk. I couldn't speak but trembled as I watched him disappear into the night. No one but Edward had ever touched me that way. I ran into the library and let out a sigh of relief seeing that there were several others studying. I didn't want to be alone but I was so used to handling things on my own that I didn't want to call the others and worry them.

I found a cubicle near the front and set my books down. Surely Jake was harmless I reckoned with myself as I dove into my studies. He's been nothing but nice to me and I shouldn't freak out just because he asked me to lunch. That's normal, right? I rolled my eyes at my juvenile behavior and relaxed losing myself in my Creative Writing.

After a few hours all my work was complete. I stood and stretched my tired muscles while I gathered my books into my bag. I pulled out my phone and saw that I had a missed call from Edward and a text message just minutes earlier.

"_Hey beautiful. I know you're studying and you probably have your phone off. I talked to Alice and she told me you went to the library after I dropped you off. Please don't walk back to the dorms alone. Call Jazz or Em. I worry about you but I'm not sorry that I do. You are too special to me. I love you, Bella. Call me when you get back safely. E"_

I smiled at Edward's thoughtfulness. I scrolled through my contacts and called Alice to ask one of the guys to come meet me. My worry over Jake hadn't completely gone away but I put it in the back of my mind for now. No need to worry my friends or Edward over my insecurities.

In just a few minutes, Em walked through the doors of the library and we headed back to the dorms. Em was a gentle giant but I knew that I was safe in his care.

"So, B, the date and all went well?" Emmett asked as we neared the dorms.

"Yeah we had a great time. Edward's been good to me," I said as I blushed in the darkness remembering how good he _was _to me.

"He better be good to you. Brother or not I'll kick his scrawny ass if I hear different."

"I'll remember that," I laughed because I knew he meant it. Being with my friends made me feel lighter and less stressed.

I called Edward as soon as I was safely deposited to my room. Rose and Alice were in bed so our call was short but sweet. He was being a worry wart about my safety but I wasn't going to call him on it. I needed that stability in my life. I promised not to be out at night alone, since it eased his mind. I told him that Alice was dropping me off at the

clinic at three tomorrow. We whispered our "I love you's" to each other before retiring to bed for the night and Jake was quickly forgotten.

The next day classes went by quickly. There had been a few times during the day that I felt like I was being watched or followed but I never saw anything out of the ordinary. I quickly dismissed it as having an over-active imagination.

At three o'clock I met Alice in the parking lot and we loaded into her yellow sports car and jetted off to the clinic. Jetted, literally.

"So, now that we're alone, Bella, do you want to talk about anything that happened over the weekend or anything else in general?" Alice asked as she maneuvered around traffic like a woman possessed.

Edward and I talked through everything that happened with us. We has a great time and I was able to overcome some of my fears regarding my self image. Did I want to tell her about Jake and what happened last night? Not really because I knew it would worry her and Edward would find out and blow a gasket.

"I'm okay, Alice. Edward and I got closer than I expected but we talked a bunch about, um, things. He was patient and made me feel beautiful."

"Aw, how sweet! I just love young, budding romance! You know that you can come to me anytime, right?" Alice chirped.

"Of course I do, Alice. Thank you for being the best friend I've ever had."

Alice wheeled us into the circle drive and gave me a hug as she dropped me off, watching me until I was inside the building. I took the stairs up to the dermatology clinic and was met by a sour looking Lauren who glared at me when I approached the desk.

"Hey, Lauren. Carlisle is expecting me for my Enbrel injection."

"Yes, _Dr. Cullen_ left word that you were coming. Have a seat and someone will come get you when they have time. They have _paying patients_ to attend to."

"Um, okay. Thanks."

Huh. I wonder what that was all about. It wasn't like I was a charity case; my insurance is paying for the Enbrel. I sat down in the nearest seat and tried to forget Lauren's words. Lucky for me I didn't have to wait long.

"Isabella Swan."

Oh, that voice. I turned toward the doorway and saw a very sexy Edward smiling at me. My breath caught in my throat. He was looking hot as hell leaning against the doorway with his navy scrubs, glasses and sex hair.

Mine!

I stood and couldn't help but notice the daggers being shot at me from Lauren. What the hell? I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled at her as I walked over to the door. Edward motioned me through grabbing my hand once we were alone.

We walked down the hallway and suddenly he pulled me into one of the empty exam rooms and quickly shut the door. His body crushed into mine and his mouth was on mine immediately.

"God, I've missed you," he said as he broke the kiss, leaving me panting as he cradled my head in his hands.

"I've missed you, too. Do all of your patients get this personal treatment?"

"Not ever, and you aren't my patient. I'm just helping Maggie out," Edward said as he ran his hands down my back, resting them on my bottom. "It's a tough job but someone has to do it."

"That's very nice of you, Dr. Cullen. I'll be sure to leave a positive comment on my next patient survey."

"Why, thank you, Miss Swan. I strive to go above and beyond. Just be sure to specify which Dr. Cullen. I don't think Esme would be pleased if Carlisle had such interactions with the clientele."

I giggled at the change in our relationship since my last visit here. That seemed so long ago now.

"I guess I better get you to Maggie before we get busted."

"Yeah, are you still taking me home? I told Alice that you would. "

"Oh, I'm taking you. Home is optional," Edward replied with a dark gleam in his eyes.

Oh my. Can panties spontaneously combust?

"I'm at your mercy, Dr. Cullen. It's a long walk back to Pattison."

"True. I told Carlisle that you'd be waiting so it shouldn't be too late. He wanted to speak to you anyhow when you're done with the injection so you can wait for me in his office if you'd like."

"Okay. I was just going to play WWF anyhow."

"Good. Now, let's go get your injection done."

We ducked back out into the open hallway and walked side by side to Edward's office, making sure that we weren't touching. You could almost see the raw energy crackling in the air between us. It took all my control not to shove him into another exam room. I'd never felt this way before and it made my heart race.

Maggie was waiting for us as we entered Edward's office. She smiled and winked at us when we came in the room.

"Good afternoon, Bella. I have everything set up. Edward can show you were to wash up and dispose of the trash when you're done."

"Thanks, Maggie. I really appreciate all this."

"Not a problem. Just glad we can do it this way. Oh, Edward? You have about fifteen minutes until your last appointment. I'll have exam room three set up."

"Okay, thanks. I'll be along shortly," Edward replied as Maggie left the room, closing the door behind her.

Edward walked over to the door and hit the lock before he began a slow walk toward me. He reminded me of a mountain lion … smooth and stealth. I was more akin to a lamb … meek and afraid to run.

"Miss Swan, I believe your injection is due in the left thigh today. Correct?"

"Um, yes."

"Then I suggest you shimmy out of those tight jeans and hop up on the good doctor's desk."

Answer to my earlier question. Yes, panties can combust. Poof! Gone. I fumbled with my button as Edward stalked closer and closer. I couldn't get the damn things undone and my breathing sounded like a two-pack-a-day-smoker.

"I don't believe you're going to get those undone, Miss Swan. Let a professional help."

I couldn't move or speak as he reached down and popped the button on my jeans and slowly lowered the zipper. He lifted me by my waist and lowered my jeans as he set me on the edge of his desk. My jeans pooled onto the floor and my mouth gaping like a guppy as Edward stepped in between my open legs with a very prominent erection.

"My, my, my, Isabella. Blue is my favorite color now for sure. Just the sight of you spread nearly bare before me makes me want to do nasty things to you. Damn!"

Well, I guess my panties didn't combust after all but they had to be saturated by now. I was surprised I didn't slide off the desk. Shit, what was I wearing? I looked down to see sheer ice blue boy shorts and I assumed I had on the matching bra. Rose had lain out my clothes after I had overslept this morning. I'd dressed in such a rush it was a wonder that I HAD on any underwear.

Edward's breathing quickened and his eyes darkened as he ran his hands up my calves and over my upper legs, stopping below the juncture of my thighs, just to make the same trail again. I was shaking and to be honest, just a little scared at this side of Edward. We were out of control and dangerously close to what Dr. Stewart and Carlisle were trying to prevent from happening. Edward _would _be in big trouble for this. I had to stop it.

"Ed … Edward, we … I need … my shot. Please, we n … need … to st …op be … fore you g … get in tr … trouble," I stammered as I tried to get my emotions back in check.

I was almost in tears from the tension between us. Edward's hands left me and he backed away from my body like he had been electrocuted. Fear and pain etched on his face. He turned away from me and leaned heavily on the counter.

"God, Bella. I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'll understand if you're pissed at me. I … I just lost control."

"Edward, I'm not upset, just worried about your career. We're okay. Let's just get this injection done and we'll talk later. You have patients."

He grabbed a box of alcohol swabs, my Enbrel and a band-aid before he walked back over to the desk, laying them beside me.

"I feel like a villain trying to steal your virtue, Bella."

No, I wasn't having any of this. Why is he taking this so hard? I was getting upset but for a totally different reason.

"You can't take what is being freely given, Edward. Now stop blaming yourself. I was just as into it as you were and _nothing_ _happened_. We stopped. Please, just let it go."

He sat down at his desk and buried his hands in his hair. I prepped the injection site, gave the shot and applied the band-aid in about thirty seconds. I stood from the desk and put

my jeans back on while Edward mumbled to himself. After I disposed of the dirty supplies I walked over to the sink and washed my hands. Edward never moved.

"I'm done."

He looked up at me and brown met green in silent conversation. There was sadness but there was also love in their depths. Until this moment I hadn't realized just how damaged Edward's soul was. I hope I never meet Tanya in a dark alley …

"Alright," Edward said as he walked over to me taking my hands in his. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you can. What is it?"

"Bella, can I please have a kiss?"

I smiled.

"Yes, I think that'd be fine, Dr. Cullen."

He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me softly, resting his head on my forehead when we broke the kiss.

"I love you, Isabella Swan. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm sure as hell glad you're mine."

"I love you too, Dr. Edward Cullen. You're the best thing in my life and I never want to be without you."

We walked quietly to Carlisle's office. Edward knocked once on the door and ushered me in. Carlisle was reading a huge medical journal that he sat aside as we entered.

"Bella, it's good to see you," Carlisle said with a warm smile.

"You too, Carlisle."

"I'm going to go, beautiful," Edward said from the doorway so I nodded to him with a wink.

"Alright, Edward. I'll see you when you're done."

Edward grinned back at me and shut the door so I turned my attention back to Carlisle who had been watching our interaction closely.

"You're good for him, you know. He adores you, Bella."

"The feeling is mutual. He's been very sweet and kind to me."

"Good. Now, to what I wanted to talk to you about. I was going over your chart and see that you take the Depo injections every twelve weeks. I wondered if you'd found a gynecologist here in Seattle."

I am having a birth control-hoochie doctor conversation with my boyfriend's father. Bury. Me. Now.

"Um, no I haven't really thought about it much. I, uh, only use the shot to regulate my, um cycle but I'm due in four weeks. We, um, I mean, I haven't ever …"

Carlisle held back a chuckle at my ranting. He threw up his hands to stop me. Now I was totally humiliated.

"Bella, please relax. I'm not meaning to imply your need for or endorse birth control. You are a vibrant twenty-one year old woman in her first serious relationship. You know I have a daughter the same age as you. I'm old but my head isn't in the sand. I just want to make sure that you are protected and your needs are taken care of just like Alice, Esme and Rose are. Can I make a recommendation to you?"

"Oh, yes, please."

"Dr. Reed is the GYN that Esme and Alice see. Her practice is here in the clinic on the bottom floor. If you'd like, I can set up an appointment for you on a day that you are already coming here. Esme would be glad to accompany you."

"Wow, um, that would be great," I said glad that Carlisle didn't think I was some loose woman seducing his son.

"Alright. I'll make the call now. Just make yourself at home."

I sat back in my chair and pulled out my cell phone. I sent my mom a text asking her when I needed to go to Phoenix to pack my belongings. She was so scatterbrained that I knew she'd forget if I didn't keep reminding her. She didn't reply right away. I listened as Carlisle set up my appointment and set the time and date on my calendar.

"Okay, you're all set. Four weeks from today at 4:00. You can come here for your injection and then go to Dr. Reed. Do you have any questions for me?"

"No, I'm good, Carlisle. I really appreciate it."

"Knock, knock," Edward said as he slowly opened the door. "Am I interrupting anything?"

Wow! I looked at my phone and an hour had passed by.

"No, Son. Bella and I are finished with our discussion. Done for the day?"

"Yeah, my last appointment was just a follow up. I've got all my charting done so if you don't need me for anything else I'm going to go. Bella, are you ready?"

"Yes, I think so. Thanks for letting me hang out with you, Carlisle. Tell Esme hello from me."

"My pleasure, Bella. Have a good evening you two."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**EPOV**_

If I could get my leg up high enough to kick my own ass I would do it. I'd acted like a fucking pervert in my workplace … a place that my Father had worked long hours to build a reputable practice along with Dr. Stewart … a place where I'd most likely take over when they were ready to retire. In one act of sex-crazed idiocy I could have ruined my career and probably sent Bella running for the hills. I'd scared her until she couldn't even speak. FUCK!

After Tanya and I split, I'd channeled all my energy into school working at being the best at what I planned to do. Nothing else mattered, but that had all changed now because of one beautiful woman. My Bella.

If she hadn't been the voice of reason, I'd have taken her on the desk. My brain was entranced by her skin, her taste and her smell. I had completely bypassed the fact that she was an innocent. Someone that didn't deserve to be manhandled like a common whore in a locked back room.

I know she wasn't upset but I was. We needed to talk. I just hoped that I could get past this in my head. Our relationship will suffer otherwise. I can't lose her now. My heart won't be able to handle it.

**Well, there you have it; the chapter that almost never came. I hope it was enough to make up for not posting in almost two weeks. I hated to leave the kids at that point but it's a good stopping place for now. I plan to write all weekend so maybe I'll even get another chapter out by Monday. You can follow me on Twitter at lakermom37 or on my blog, Edwards my obsession 1971 dot blogspot dot com. Please leave me some love! **


	22. Chapter 22

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my personal enjoyment.

**A/N: Happy New Year to everyone! I dread going back to work but unfortunately FFn doesn't pay the bills. Thank you again for all the reviews. I finally reached 150 reviews on this reposting which makes me smile. I have been a total fail with replies, and I'm very sorry. Hopefully my computer issues will be resolved soon and all will go back to normal. Oh and LEMON ALERT! Yes, I said lemon…and you guys thought this day would never get here! Special thanks to tkegl and nolebucgrl for inspiring my "Sebastian Bach/Skid Row" moment during a Twitter chat as I was writing this. Good times…**

_**EPOV**_

I couldn't look at her without feeling nauseous. I was angry at myself for losing control and I knew that Bella needed to hear reassurance from me, but I wasn't ready yet. I needed to find somewhere that we could be private but not alone. Not yet.

I walked Bella to my car and once we were seated I drove out of the lot without saying a word to her. I could see her wringing her hands in my peripheral vision. I ran a hand through my hair trying to relive some tension.

"Edward?"

I felt her eyes on me, pleading for some kind of reassurance that we were okay. God, I feel like an ass for making her feel like she's done something wrong but I can't shake the feelings I had coursing through my veins. When I had asked Bella for that kiss I thought that one little thing would make things better but all it accomplished was making me feel worse. I put my free hand back on the steering wheel and tried to gather some control over myself.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm just … I just can't talk right now, alright? Give me some space to think," I clipped back.

"Okay," Bella said as she lowered her gaze.

We rode in silence until we turned into the pier. This place had always been a haven of solitude but it would also serve my purpose for today. I remembered the last time I was here with Bella. Everything was new. It seemed like a million years ago instead of weeks.

I parked the car and went to open her door but she beat me to it. I grabbed a blanket out of the trunk in case the breeze from the water was too cool for Bella. I didn't want her fragile skin to chap. There was just an hour or so of daylight left and even this time of year Seattle nights were cold.

"Come on. We'll go up here and talk."

We walked up the boardwalk and Bella took a seat on one of the benches as I stood overlooking the water. It was still and quiet as always. A total one-eighty from the thoughts crashing my brain.

"Edward, please talk to me. I don't know what I did wrong."

It's show time, Cullen. Think hard before you speak.

"Bella, you didn't do anything wrong. It was all me. I shouldn't have acted like I did. I can't say how sorry I am that I upset you like I did. You deserve better."

I kept my gaze across the water. I couldn't handle the pained looks from Bella. It would break me.

"I'm not upset, Edward. Just calm down …"

"Don't ask me to calm down! You couldn't talk to give your consent! You froze and I just kept on pushing the situation further and further when you aren't ready. I almost _fucked_ you on the desk, Bella! Like a whore! To make it worse I was AT WORK! If Carlisle or even worse, Dr. Stewart had walked in and caught us I don't even want to think of the repercussions!" I shouted as I tugged at my hair. I lost my composure.

"You don't need my baggage. You're unmarred, innocent. Please don't try to minimize this to make me feel better because it won't work!"

I heard Bella gasp behind me.

"Are you breaking up with me because of what happened? Because I stopped?" she asked in a small, watery voice.

I spun around to face Bella. Her face was blotchy and tears were streaming down both cheeks. Break up? I can't get this shit right. What have I done?

"What? No! I'm not … oh God. I'm not breaking up with you unless that's what you want," I said as I quickly closed the distance between us and knelt at her feet. "I just have a hard time dealing with myself when I screw were right to stop us. Oh baby, don't cry."

I put my arms around her and she laid her head on my chest as I wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. I had to get a grip on myself. I can't see her hurting like this. I kissed the top of her head as she melted in my arms.

"It's not what I want at all, Edward. I'm sorry that I'm crying but you're scaring me. I feel like you're shutting down on me. I love you so much. I don't know what to do!" Bella sobbed.

Reality check, Dr. Cullen. Get you head out of your damned ass. Her heart is broken because you lost your shit.

"Beautiful, you're here and that's all I need. I'm sorry for losing it like that and even more so for scaring you. I didn't deal with this very well. After all that happened with me … before … with Tanya, I closed myself off. I should have stepped back and thought before I acted."

Bella snorted and I pulled her face to mine. I looked deeply into those watery brown orbs and felt my heart clench at the thought of not having her in my life.

"No, you didn't think. We have to talk when things happen, Edward. I've never had a relationship before but I'm not _her_. I won't do that to you, ever. It's all new to me but I do know that we have to be able to be honest with each other without fear. You've been preaching that to me for weeks," Bella reprimanded.

Wow. I wasn't expecting that reaction but damn she just put me in my place! She was right and I'd been horribly wrong.

"I know, baby. I'm so sorry. I can't lose you. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

My heart felt like it was seized in my chest as I watched her face for her answer. What in the hell will I do if she says no?

"There's nothing to forgive, Edward. Don't push me away like this again. I don't even want to think about being without you. Please, just … make it all go away," Bella whispered with longing in her eyes.

I crushed my lips to her mouth, my tongue tasting her sweetness as they twined. We were gasping and desperate. My cock ached as it pushed against my boxers. I wanted her but I wanted to do it the right way this time. I needed to feel her writhing beneath me, calling out my name as I took her over the edge. Were we ready? I pulled back from the kiss and nuzzled Bella's nose.

"Come on. It's getting cold and you need to eat. Maybe we can grab some take out and then go back to my place for awhile? Is that alright?"

Bella smiled and nodded in agreement as I took her hand and led her back to the car. I relished in the warmth and the tingling sensation that I got whenever we touched.

We decided on something light to eat so after a quick stop at Subway we finally arrived at the apartment. Things were quiet between us but there was no need to talk. The electricity was humming between us with both want and need. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest.

Bella sat her bag on the counter and went into the living room. The lights were dimmed and I didn't bother to change them. I turned up the heat a little and grabbed a couple of bottled waters before joining her on the couch. I pulled her into my lap and kissed her softly but I wanted more.

I slowly and deliberately ran my hands up and down her back, testing her tolerance and was rewarded with a little whimper from Bella as she ground her body into mine. I could feel the heat from her pussy and it was driving me wild. The kiss became heated as Bella wrapped her arms around my neck. Our teeth clashed and our tongues fought for dominance. Breathless, I began showering her chin and neck with open mouthed kisses and Bella threw her head back with a sound that went straight to my steel hard erection.

With the spacing opened up before me my hands caressed one breast and then the other over her clothes. Bella moaned at the contact as her breathing hitched.

"Let's get this off you," I said as I tugged on her top. "I want to see that gorgeous body, baby."

"I will if you will," Bella answered coyly.

Yes ma'am! I scooted her back on my lap and pulled my scrub top over my head along with my undershirt. Bella grabbed the hem of her tee and yanked it over her head, revealing her ripe breasts begging for release from their lacey enclosure. I reached behind her to unclasp it and saw the lust in her eyes as she nodded for me to proceed. The bra was quickly discarded as I admired the view.

"Oh, baby. I love seeing you like this. Your tits are amazing. So fucking beautiful."

Bella has exquisite breasts, not that I'm biased at all. Not too big and not too small. I brushed my fingers over her sensitive nipples eliciting a gasp from Bella. I smiled smugly as I increased the motions and pulled on them gently.

"More!" Bella shouted as she began to grind her heat into my groin again as I groaned at the feeling.

As much as I was enjoying Bella riding my cock it was her that needed the stimulation if we were going through with this tonight. Touching was as far as we had progressed and I was ready to push a little further. It hadn't missed my attention that she was baring herself without any comment on her psoriasis.

"Bella, baby? I just want to try a few things. Please stop me if it becomes too much for you, okay?"

"Okay. Please …touch me more!" Bella asked.

I pulled her body closer to mine and began massaging her breasts as I kissed down her neck. My kisses trailed down until I was kissing the tops of her mounds. Judging from her breathing and motions she was fine so far so I continued on. I ran my nose over one nipple before I slowly ran my tongue over the hardened peak.

"Oh my gawd! Don't stop!"

I smiled at her reaction as I laved one nipple and then the other before sucking one into my mouth. I've never tasted anything as sweet as my Bella. Only God himself or Bella could make me stop now.

"Ahhh! I'm … gonna … oh, OH!"

Bella arched her back and shuddered as she reached her climax. I kissed her breast gently as she came down from her high. The couch was becoming uncomfortable and I had to get her heat off my dick before the night ended for me right there in my scrubs pants. I didn't want to break the mood but I wanted her in my bed. Now.

"You like that, baby?" I asked as I moved the other sweet nub and gave it a teasing lick. I was rewarded by her shrill response.

"Yesssss!"

"Grab around my neck. I'm taking us somewhere more comfortable," I ordered.

She didn't hesitate as she clung to me like a spider monkey and I climbed the stairs two at a time. I kicked the door open, shaking the pictures on the walls and I deposited her on my bed unceremoniously. I grabbed my stereo remote and turned on some eighties music since I knew Bella and I shared the love of the music from that decade. I stood at the foot of the bed and tried to regain my control.

The sight of her, sprawled out on my bed with her eyes wild and her face bright made it painfully hard (pun intended) to focus. The caveman in me wanted to rip off her jeans and claim her but I knew that just wasn't possible. She deserved to be worshipped and savored. Her first time with me was going to be painful, there was no way around that, but the thought of inflicting pain on her precious body was maddening.

I made a slow prowl onto the mattress. Bella giggled from either nerves or excitement as she made an attempt to scoot further up in the bed. I responded with a low growl as I stopped her retreat by grabbing her ankles and pulling her toward me. I was ready but I needed a green light from her. No more assumptions.

"Are you okay, beautiful? Is this okay?" I asked. Hoping. Praying.

"I need you, Edward. Stop over thinking this."

Green light. Oh yes!

"Baby, you have no idea how much I want you. Right now. But listen to me, this is your first time and it's not going to be pleasant at first or maybe even at all! I can't think about causing you pain," I pleaded as I warred with my body and brain.

Bella sat up and cupped my face with her hands. I could only see love in those brown eyes.

"I know that it's going to hurt. There's no getting around that but people have sex for the first time every day. I won't die from this but I'm going to explode if we don't. I want this, with you and no one else. Please?"

I couldn't deny her anything. I had to practice what I had been preaching and let go of my fears of rejection and inadequacy that I'd felt when Tanya had ripped my heart out of my chest. Bella loves me. I love her. Case closed.

"Okay, but I want to play a little first to make sure you're ready. I need you to trust me completely since all of this will be new to you but tell me if at any time you want to stop. You're in control. Promise me that you will do this for me," I said as I pulled her face inches from mine.

"I trust you, Edward," Bella replied softly as she placed a kiss on my lips. "Make me yours."

I looked at her once more before I pulled her lips to mine and kissed her deeply. I caressed all her exposed skin as I laid her back on the bed. I reached down to undo her jeans and Bella eagerly raised her bottom to allow me to remove them. I ran my thumbs over her hipbones several times before dipping them below the tiny waistband of her panties. Bella's breathing became more pronounced as I slid the lace down her legs revealing her bare heat to me. She was glistening with moisture.

"So beautiful. Perfect."

I stood from the bed and removed my bottoms exposing myself for the first time to Bella. My cock was hard and bobbed as I released it from my boxers. I took a moment to let Bella adjust to her visual. I knew that she wouldn't look at my dick before. No hiding him now.

"Oh my God!" Bella replied with wide eyes. "You're so … big!"

I chuckled softly at her response and was pleased when I saw her lick her lips nervously but saw no sign of fear in her eyes. I crawled back on the bed and began planting kisses on each ankle, slowly making my way up to her slick folds as I spread her open before me. I kissed her mound as I sat on my knees between her open thighs.

I ran one finger down her slit, avoiding the little pink hood that was nestled at the top.

"You're so wet, baby."

"Only for you," she moaned as she bucked her hips when I moved my finger into her entrance.

I worked one finger in and out of her channel until I was able to get it in past the second knuckle. She was incredibly tight. So fucking tight I was unsure if I _would _be able to fit. She needed more so I carefully added another finger and continued bringing her closer and closer to another orgasm. As I pumped and twisted my fingers in and out I flicked her clit causing her to nearly jump from the bed. Her juices were dripping down my fingers.

"Fuuuuck! Ohmygod, that feels so good," Bella rasped with her eyes clenched shut.

I felt her tighten and flutter around my fingers. Almost there. I wanted to see her come undone and I wanted her looking at me when she did. My cock was demanding her full attention.

"Look at me. Let go for me, baby," I crooned as I pressed my thumb against her clit making small circles.

Her brown eyes were hooded with lust and need as she looked me squarely in the eyes. Her body was covered in the sheen of sweat and she sparkled in the dim lamplight.

"Ah, ah, ah, Ed …Edward … I'm …fuck … coming!" Bella yelled out as her climax hit her hard squirting more of her sweet essence onto my hand.

I dropped down and lapped up all she'd given me, swirling my tongue gently over her swollen nub and down to her entrance until she came down slightly from her high. Her essence was sweet and tangy and all Bella. Mine! I kissed back up her body, pausing to lavish each breast.

She was as ready as I could make her and I prayed that it was enough. I reached into the bedside table and grabbed a lubricated condom. I knew she was on birth control but this way would be less messy as I knew there would be blood. Bella continued to breathe heavy as she watched me roll the latex onto my erection with wide eyes.

"Baby, its time. I'll go as slowly as I can. Remember your promise, Bella," I said as I lined my cock up with her entrance.

"I'm ready, Edward. Make love to me."

I took a deep breath and slowly entered her body. I groaned loudly and Bella made a whimpering sound as I slowly pushed forward until I met resistance. I was close to coming just from the tight grip her walls had on me but I had to hold on for her.

"Beautiful, I'm as far as I can go. This part is gonna hurt and I'm so sorry. Relax as much as you can. I'll make it quick, okay?" I said as I felt my control slipping. I needed to move.

Bella nodded quickly and I watched her slow her breathing to try to calm her nerves. I changed my positioning and brought my lips to hers in a passionate kiss. I kept my lips and tongue moving with hers as I plunged forward through her hymen until I was fully encased in her heat.

Bella yelped at the intrusion and I held still letting her body acclimate to my girth. I kissed her gently as I forced myself not to thrust.

"Are you okay? The worst is over, baby. Talk to me."

"I'm fine. It hurt a little but manageable. Please, don't stop."

I pulled back and thrust into her, setting a slow but steady pace. Oh sweet, Jesus, she was so tight. I can't believe I fit into her small frame.

It had been four years and sex before was nothing compared to this. Bella moaned and began bucking her hips to meet my thrusts. I grabbed her legs and wrapped them around my waist. Bella caught on and locked her ankles together causing me to have more depth in my strokes as I picked up the pace. I could feel my orgasm building. I didn't know if Bella would orgasm during her first time but I was going to try as hard as hell to bring her bliss once more tonight. I tweaked her puckered nipples as I looked down to watch my cock disappear into her body.

"Oh, Oh! Edward … God!"

"That's my girl. Fuck! Baby, I'm not gonna last much longer," I panted as I sped my rhythm going deeper and deeper.

I slid my hand between our joined bodies and began to rub her clit as I pounded into her slick pussy. The sounds of Skid Row and Sebastian Bach singing '18 and Life' playing in the background.

"Ed … I'm … oh … close! God, I … love … you, so much!"

"That's it baby. I'm so close. I love you more than my own life," I grunted as I felt the coil begin to snap.

Bella's walls contracted as she shook the bed and arched off the mattress as she screamed my name.

"Bella!" I yelled as my body convulsed in the strongest orgasm I'd ever encountered as my cock throbbed into her pussy.

I collapsed in a sweaty heap beside Bella. Our breathing ragged as we came back to earth. I rolled over and discarded the condom noting the small amount of blood on the tip. Bella's eyes were squeezed shut and she'd yet to speak.

"Baby? Are you alright?" I asked as my head went wild with the worry that I'd hurt her.

"Edward that was … there are no words. My body feels like spaghetti noodles but I'm okay. Just a little tender," Bella said with a giggle. "I'll never think of Skid Row the same again!"

My Bella.

I pulled her over to me until she was half lying on my chest. I kissed her forehead and I felt my love for this fragile creature almost explode in my chest.

"It was perfect. An act of love, beautiful. Thank you for sharing that gift with me," I said as I stroked her back and she molded her body to mine. "Would you stay here with me tonight? I want to be able to hold you all night long."

"I think that sounds wonderful, Edward. Um, maybe later we can do that all over again?"

I laughed out loud. This woman is going to be the death of me.

"That could be arranged. Now, let's go get you into the bath. I'll lock up and call Alice," I said as I scooped her up into my arms and carried her into the bathroom.

Bella wrapped her arms around me.

"Thank you, my knight in shining armor."

"It was my pleasure, M'lady."

My mom had insisted on the sunken tub and to be honest, I'd never used it. I never had the time. It was a five person tile tub but it also had jets like a Jacuzzi and I knew that Bella was sore. Anything I could do to elieviate the pain would be well worth it. I turned on the water as hot as she would be able to stand and dropped in some vanilla-lavender bubble bath before turning on the jets.

"Now, you hop in and I'll be right back to join you."

Bella sunk into the tub and moaned as the heat began to relax her muscles. When she was set I left the room and slipped my boxers on. There was just something creepy and disturbing about calling my sister while I was naked. I pulled my phone from my scrub pants and went downstairs.

After I locked the door I made a quick call to Alice letting her know that Bella was staying with me tonight. Of course, Alice knew something was up immediately but I wasn't telling her a thing. I promised that Bella was fine and that she'd be back at the dorms before classes in the morning. When she was satisfied I hung up and grabbed our unopened waters before going back upstairs.

Bella was lying back with her eyes closed when I entered the bathroom. She looked like an angel with her long hair splayed out over the tile surround. I was one lucky man. I could get used to her being with me on a permanent basis. Oh hell, I'd marry her tonight if it were possible. I put that thought in the back of my head. It was too soon but someday Bella Swan would be Isabella Cullen if she'd have me.

I slipped off my boxers and slid into the tub just as Bella realized I was in the room. It appeared my girl had drifted off for a minute or two.

"Hey," she said as she rubbed her eyes.

"Hey, baby. Did you have a nice nap?"

"Oh! I guess I did doze off. Sorry. How long was I asleep?" Bella asked as her cheeks reddened from embarrassment.

"Not too long. You've had a big night. It's okay. Come here."

Bella crawled over to where I was sitting and I pulled her into my lap. She hummed in contentment as I ran one hand through her hair as the other one stroked her back.

"I love you, so much, Bella."

"I love you too. My heart is full," she replied as she nestled her head into my neck.

We sat like this until the water began to cool and I didn't want her to catch a chill.

"We'd better get out before we turn into prunes," I said as I lifted us up to stand, keeping her steady so she wouldn't fall. "Wait right here and I'll get the towels."

I stepped out and grabbed two large towels from the closet. I held her hand as she climbed out and wrapped the towel around her body, drying her off as I went. When we were both dry I took her hand and led us back to the bedroom. It was late and I knew we'd need an early start to get her back in time to get ready before I went to class. Bella tried to hold back a yawn.

"Come on, sleepyhead. I'll get you something to sleep in."

I went to my dresser and pulled out one of my old U Dub tee shirts and handed it to her. She threw it over her head as I pulled on a clean pair of boxers. There is nothing sexier than Bella in my clothes. Well, nothing except her naked and sweaty beneath me. With that thought Big Ed made his presence known.

I turned back the covers and Bella climbed into bed settling on 'her side' as I turned off the lights and took my place on the opposite side. Bella wasted no time in scooting closer to me and I pulled her close to my body, sighing as she draped her arm over my waist.

"Sleep now, beautiful. I love you," I whispered.

"Love you too, Edward. Thank you for everything. G'nite," Bella mumbled as I felt her body relax and her breathing soon evened out in sleep.

I was tired and as sleep began to overtake me I thanked God for blessing my life with the angel in my arms. I promised Him and myself that I would never hurt her again and that I would always keep her safe.

I was finally home.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**A/N: And twenty-two chapters later, they finally sealed the deal. About time! There was more I wanted to write and Jake still has a part to play but I'm content to stop here. As you know this is my first lemon. And for those who don't write or don't write lemons, it is MUCH harder to do than you think. Hopefully I did this justice. Let me know what you think! Catch me on Twitter at lakermom37 or my blog. **

**Edwardsmyobsession1971 (dot)blogspot(dot)com. AnillicitWriter did a fabulous job of pimping out my blog; mel k (vbfb19) created the cutest banner and is working on my affiliate button. Most importantly, I could do NONE of this without my girls, twimom817 and kare831. They make it all readable and I owe them so much for helping me anytime I ask for it. MUCH LOVE, LADIES! **


	23. Chapter 23

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 23

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for enjoyment. **

**A/N: Wow! Thanks for all the love from the last chapter! The reviews were great! I do this all for the love of writing and lurkers and reviewers alike make it all worthwhile. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Mels78 told me I've "popped my lemon cherry" so I'm good the rest of the way out now so there just might be another lemon or two in this chapter. Lol! And as always, I couldn't do any of this without twimom817 and kare831…wouldn't try to. Any typos or grammar issues found are my fault. **

_**BPOV**_

I'm not a morning person. I require coffee and a hot shower to get going most days, especially at six o'clock in the morning. Today was different because the first thing I saw when I woke up was a shining set of emerald eyes just inches away from mine. I smiled and was rewarded with a smile in return. I can't imagine a more perfect way to start the day.

"Good morning. How long have you been awake?" I asked feeling the emotions of the previous evening come back in full force.

"Good morning, beautiful. I was watching you sleep. Pretty fascinating if I do say so myself," Edward chuckled as he moved a few stray hairs from my forehead.

"Fascinating? Edward, why in the world would watching me sleep be the least bit interesting?"

"Well, did you know you talk in your sleep?" he replied with a panty-dropping grin on his face.

No! No! No! Not the sleep talking! I felt my face turn blood red. I can only imagine what I was dreaming about. I have a good idea that it was the same thing I was thinking of right now.

"Oh, um. I knew I used to when I was a kid. What did I say?" I questioned as I dropped my eyes to his bare chest.

Edward pulled my chin up until he was looking deeply into my eyes again.

"You said my name a few times and the rest was gibberish, but that's all. Please don't be embarrassed, baby. I liked hearing my name coming from those kissable lips. Speaking of, I'd like to kiss you right now, Miss Swan."

Morning breath be damned. There is no way I'm passing up on this.

"Well, since you asked so nicely, I think that would be a good idea, Dr. Cullen."

Edward leaned in and kissed my lips softly. He pulled my body closer to his and he hitched my leg over his. Oh!

"How are you feeling this morning? Are you sore?"

"No, I feel perfect. Just perfect," I smiled as I lay my hand on his chest. My heart was beginning to beat faster in anticipation feeling his hardness against my thigh.

"Hmm. I think I need another kiss, Miss Swan. I've got another hour with you," he said huskily.

"You don't ever have to ask, Edward. Please feel free to kiss me anytime."

Our lips met and the kiss quickly became heated. Hands were roaming and I couldn't help but lay my hand over his erection. I felt as if my heart would burst from my chest with its erratic beating as he moaned when he swept his tongue over mine. I wanted him. When his kisses moved down my neck I took the chance to speak before I lost my mind in all that was Edward.

"Edward. I … need you."

He stopped all movement. His breathing matched mine and I could see the want in his eyes as our gazes met but there was a hint of hesitation noted there. The irrational side of me wanted to scream out that I hadn't been good enough the night before. Did he not want me?

"Baby, are you sure? I mean, last night was the best night of my existence. I won't lie and say I don't want you _all_ the time, but I don't want you to think you have to do _things_ every time we are alone or when things get heated. I'm perfectly content with holding and touching you like this."

How did I get so lucky? We both have our flaws and issues to work through but the love we shared was bigger than anything. He was like a drug … highly addictive and almost impossible to quit. I can't imagine going through life without him now.

"I'm sure. I want you. Please, Edward. Make love to me."

Edward rolled until he was hovering over my body.

"Miss Swan, you'll never have to ask me twice again."

He reached down and pulled my shirt over my head leaving me completely bare before him. All self conscious thoughts of psoriasis out the window.

"Isabella…" Edward said like a prayer as he began worshipping my body with his hands.

"Edward …" I answered back as he leaned in and took my breath away with another searing kiss.

I decided to be brave. The time for shyness was long past. I tugged at his boxers and he took the cue and quickly shed them. My hands shook in excitement as I motioned for him to roll on to his back. When he complied I steeled my nerves. I loved him. I could do this for him.

"Bella?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

I couldn't answer him as I was afraid my voice would have betrayed my body. I wanted to see him, feel him and taste him. It was overwhelming and consuming.

I repositioned myself so I was straddling his thighs. As I raked my eyes over his body I doubted that there was ever a Greek god that could hold a candle to my Edward. His face would make angels cry with his strong jaw and piercing eyes. His body was toned and muscular but not bulky. His hands were strong but gentle. And even though I had nothing to reference his cock to, I couldn't imagine one more magnificent. My dream Edward had nothing on the real one.

I began planting kisses on his chest. Remembering his sensitive nipples I brushed my tongue over each one eliciting a groan and body twitch from Edward each time. I closed my eyes and shifted as my kisses trailed down his abdomen until I met the trail of hair just above his cute belly button.

I tongued his belly button once before continuing my journey down until I was at my destination.

His cock was rigid as I took him in my hands and began to pump him slowly. He responded by bucking his hips into my hand. _It's time, Bella. Do it. _

"Bella … oh baby. That feels good," Edward rasped as he began running his hands through my hair.

I couldn't reply. I lowered my head and placed a kiss on the tip of his erection.

"Baby … you don't have to …" he spit out as I took him into my mouth.

I had no idea what I was doing but going by the sounds coming from Edward I must have been doing something right. I liked the power I felt by doing it.

I took as much of him in my mouth as I could. He was entirely too large to fully fit in without going down my throat, so I wrapped my hands around the base of his shaft and resumed my strokes as I bobbed my mouth up and back down. It took a few tries but with Edward gently guiding my head I got my rhythm.

Who knew that pleasing your mate orally would be such a turn on? I could feel myself becoming increasingly aroused and that made me move over him faster. Toward what, I wasn't sure but it felt good.

"Oh, shit … baby. You … ugh …need to stop!" Edward grunted as he placed halting hands on top of my head and then scooted out from beneath me when my mouth released him.

"What did I do?" I asked, truly confused at why he wanted to stop so suddenly.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I sat back on my legs waiting for him to calm down enough to talk to me. His eyes were shut and he was breathing in through his nose and out through pursed lips. After what seemed to be hours Edward opened his eyes and gave me his signature crooked grin.

"Bella, you have no idea how fucking hot that was seeing your mouth on me. You did everything just right, trust me. So right in fact, that I almost … well, let's just say I stopped you in time to prevent a possible catastrophe. Don't cry, beautiful. I loved ever second of it. Trust me," he said with a chuckle as he brushed the traitorous tears from my cheeks.

Huh? I thought for a second before it hit me. OH! With that I felt my blush flood my face again. Knowledge is a good thing that I obviously don't have enough of.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't realize …"

Edward reached for my hands and pulled himself up beside me.

"Shhh. It's alright, Bella. More than alright. Listen, I have a question for you and you can say no, okay?"

"Okay, what is it?" I said wondering what he was working on in that head of his.

"Would you like to shower with me? I know we have to leave soon and I'm not done with you yet, Miss Swan."

He's not? My mind drifted back to my shower fantasy that I'd had when we first met. Could I tell him? Should I? Not right now but maybe someday.

"Um, yes I would like that. Lead the way, Dr. Cullen," I said with a shriek as he picked me up bridal style and walked us to his bathroom, letting me down beside his huge shower.

Edward turned on the water and when the temperature was right he took my hand and we stepped under the spray. He pulled me flush with his body and our mouths met, unleashing our desire once again as the warm water cascaded over our bodies. All of the sudden, Edward pulled away with a grimace.

"Baby, I need to go grab a condom. Shit!"

I wanted to feel him inside me without any barriers. I trusted my birth control shot and I trusted Edward with my life. My future.

"It's okay. I want to do it this way. I love you so much!"

"Bella, I love you with all that I am. Forever. If you're sure … I can't say no to you."

"I've never been more sure of anything. Please!"

Edward's hands and lips began to travel over my body, playing me like an instrument. There should be a warning label on him because he knew exactly how and where to touch me, bringing my body to heights that I never knew was possible. I was already teetering on the edge.

He teased my clit with his fingers before he plunged two deep inside my body. Twisting and probing causing me to loose my mind. I felt the pressure building low in my belly.

"Oh! Feels … good. So … close."

"Don't hold back, baby. Cum for me," Edward whispered in my ear as his thumb pressed over my sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Edward!"

My body shook from the intensity of my climax, Edward's name rolling off my lips as I convulsed on his fingers. He wasted no time in lifting me up and pressing my back against the wall, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. He looked to me for permission and I answered his unspoken request with my lips on his.

He positioned himself and slowly slid into my welcoming body. I felt full, loved.

"So good. So fucking good," Edward chanted as he buried himself in my heat and began setting a quick pace. "Tight, wet, perfection."

I tried my hardest to hold on for him. The spring in my gut was wound too tight.

"Ed …I'm …ah …ah…"

I couldn't form a coherent sentence. I was inching closer and closer to oblivion.

"I'm close, baby. Look at me and let it go. I want to watch your gorgeous face as you come undone all over my cock."

Dirty Talking Edward. That's all it took as I raised my eyes to his. I felt my body tense and clench down. I let out a long moan as he kept moving inside of me. All at once I felt his movements stumble as he spilled out his warmth inside me.

"Fuck! Oh baby, I love you so much," he shouted as he slowed his motions, finally resting his head on my shoulder.

I kissed his cheek. Emotions I'd never known possible coursed through me. I was completely and irrevocably in love with Edward Anthony Cullen. No one or no thing could come between us.

"I will always love you, Edward," I whispered back.

We stayed like that for several minutes as we slowly came back to reality, whispering our love and devotion to each other. I knew our time was almost up but I couldn't find in myself to want or care about classes or anything outside of our little cocoon. My heart ached already at the thought of not seeing him till the weekend.

Edward let me back down to stand and we quietly washed ourselves clean of our lovemaking. I was a little sore after "Round Two" but it was a welcome feeling after years of not feeling anything at all.

When we were done showering we made quick work of brushing our teeth and getting dressed. We both had morning classes and it was after seven. I threw my hair up in a ponytail and we walked down to the kitchen.

"I started coffee so we can grab some before we have to go," Edward said as he scurried about his kitchen grabbing travel mugs. "Sugar and creamer in the cabinet by the fridge."

"Thanks. Um, is everything okay?"

Edward had been distant the past few minutes. After everything that we had shared just moments ago he seemed lost in thought. He leaned against the counter and motioned for me to come to him. When I got closer he pulled me tightly to his body.

"I'm sorry that I'm such a moody ass. I just don't want to let you go, baby. I know it's not possible right now but I want to be with you all of the time. Here. I just worry so much about you when we're apart. I can't shake the feeling," Edward said soberly.

"I know. I feel the same way, Edward. I miss you when we're apart, so much it hurts, but I'm safe on campus with the girls, Emmett and Jasper. Nothing's going to happen to me."

He held me close, kissing my hair and rubbing my back. I wanted to lighten the moment.

"I'd like to add that you look all kinds of hot in those glasses and scrubs, Dr. Cullen," I said with a giggle and heard his laugh in return.

"You're one dangerous woman, Miss Swan. As much as I hate to say this, we need to go. I have clinicals and I know you have class. Alice hasn't called yet but I'm sure she and Rose will be ready to ambush you as soon as you get to the dorm."

I groaned at the thought. Alice was too intuitive, not to mention that she knew where I'd been all night. Ugh! I grabbed my bag and reached for his hand as we walked out the door.

"Yeah, I guess it's time to face the firing squad. Let's go."

The ride back to campus was somber. Neither of us wanting to let the other one go. When we arrived, Edward parked near the doorway and grabbed my hand.

"I'm going to miss your beautiful face, baby. Last night and this morning were so special for me. Thank you for loving me and giving me that sacred part of you. I will be thinking about you constantly. I love you, Isabella Marie Swan. Take care of my heart. I'm leaving it with you."

I was overcome with such strong emotion I could hardly form the words in my head that I wanted to say back. I choked down the lump in my throat.

"I'll miss you too and I love you more than I could ever express. Thank you for being so caring and patient with me. Your heart is safe with me and you have mine as well. I'd better go. Call you later, okay?"

Edward kissed me once more before I hopped out of the car and ran up to the entrance of the dorm. I turned to wave after I was safely indoors and I watched him leave until he was out of sight. I took a deep breath and hit the button on the elevator taking me to the firing squad. When the door opened I was met with my worst nightmare sporting a huge grin with his girlfriend in tow.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in!" Rose said to Emmett as she stepped out of the elevator. "Look at that blush!"

Was it _that _obvious? Damn blush.

"Um, hey guys. I'm just … um …going to go change clothes and head to class," I stammered out as I stepped thru the metal doors.

"Mmm hmm. Blush, avoidance and we know where you were last night, Bella Boo. I'd say you have some 'splainin' to do, Lucy," Emmett replied with a smirk as he held the "open" button on the elevator panel. "So does Eddie Boy."

I wish the bottom would fall out of this thing. _You're on the first floor, stupid. Where the hell are you going to fall to?_ At least I can hope that Alice and Jasper have already left for the day.

"Well, we'll be sure to revisit this situation later tonight. Come on, Em. Let's go get some breakfast. See you later, Bella," Rose said as she tugged Emmett out into the lobby. "Oh, by the way, Alice is waiting for you upstairs. Good luck with that."

Emmett and Rose laughed out loud as the doors shut taking me to the next round of attack. I feared Alice would be jumping out of her skin with excitement and there isn't a thing on earth that compares to an over-exuberant Alice. I cringed knowing the only thing I could do was suck it up and take it.

I exited the elevator and went to my room. I opened the door slightly and slid in. All was quiet. Maybe I've dodged this bullet until I can gather my thoughts.

"So, Bella. I've talked to a very elusive Edward just now and he's assured me that you're alright. No medical emergency or freaky weather causing you _not _to be able to make it home last night, so I can only assume the rest…" Alice stated from behind my frozen body.

I sighed and turned to face my best friend and sister to my boyfriend. Was she upset because Edward and I had sex? She was looking at me with her arms crossed but I could see the smile teasing the corners of her mouth. I couldn't help but smile in return. I'd never had a close friend to confide in and I needed to spill my guts.

"He's right, I'm perfectly fine, Alice. Perfect!" I replied with what I knew was a goofy grin causing Alice to shriek and throw herself at me.

"Oh my gosh, Bella! I knew it!"

I hugged her back, not knowing what to say. I mean, I didn't want to talk to her about having sex with her brother. That seemed to be wrong on so many levels. Alice led me over to her bed and we sat down.

"You scared me, Alice. I thought you were mad at us or something."

Alice just laughed and shook her head.

"You silly girl, I'm happy for you and Edward! You have no idea how closed off he's been for all these years. He felt like a fifth-wheel and hardly ever socialized with us because of it. I was afraid he'd never allow himself happiness again. And then came YOU! Oh, my little Bella is all grown up!" Alice sang and then her face morphed into a pained expression. "I don't want to talk about any of the details because that would be just, ugh and I don't need the visual of you two _doing the nasty._"

"Okay, Alice. I won't give you details but I do want you to know that I'm in love with him and he feels the same way about me."

I'm sure there were dogs howling for a ten mile radius because she let out another glass-shattering squeal as she clapped her hands.

"Awww. I can't wait to tell Mom!"

Panic set in as I thought of sweet Esme getting a phone call from Alice telling her about everything. I couldn't face her! And Carlisle. Oh my … He'd just set up a gynecologist appointment for me _yesterday _and I'd told him in short that Edward and I hadn't done …that. I needed to call Edward and warn him after I hopefully stopped the freight train known as Alice from making our sex live a world wide news event. I suddenly felt the need for a Xanax.

"Oh, um … I think Edward and I want to tell them ourselves. You know … Edward hasn't met Charlie or Renee …" I stammered out quickly.

Alice looked at me thoughtfully and then nodded.

"That's true. I'll just keep this info under my hat for now, but know this. If Emmett knows, then it's just a matter of time before Mom and Dad know. He has no verbal filter. Edward knows all of this so I'm sure he's prepared to face the music."

"Okay. I need to talk to Edward first. I'd feel better asking how we're handling all of this. We didn't have a lot of time to talk about it."

"It'll be fine, Bella. Relax. It's not like Mom and Dad don't know these things go on. Trust me. Emmett and Rose have been caught in the act more than once at my parent's house. Now I've gotta get to class. We'll talk later."

"Yeah, I've got to change clothes and go myself. Thanks for being such a great friend, Alice."

"I love you too, ya know. Now hurry along before you're late," Alice stated as she hopped up from her bed and grabbed her book bag. "Toodles!"

Finally I'm alone. I sent a quick text to Mom and Charlie letting them know that I was alright and that I'd call them in the next few days. I grabbed clean underwear, a pair of jeans and a top and quickly dressed. I changed out the books in my bag and ran out the door with my phone in hand.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**EPOV**_

I drove away from Pattison knowing that I'd left the love of my life in the clutches of my sister, brother and their significant others. The only one of the four that really worried me was, of course, Emmett. He has no off switch and he'd make Bella's life a living hell if I didn't get to him first. Maybe I could get to Rose through him as well. Two birds …one stone. I grabbed my phone and saw a text from Alice that I must have gotten on the drive to drop Bella off.

_I'm sure u r on the way. Warning! Em knows Bella stayed with u last night. He figured it out when he came for Rose a minute ago. Better do damage control. I'll handle Jasper. I'm very happy for u 2! Al_

I knew I could count on Alice and most likely Rose. Jasper would be a Southern gentleman and be discrete with Bella but give me hell behind the scenes. I had to get to Emmett. I dialed his number hoping he wasn't already off in class.

"_Eddie. How's it hangin' Bro?"_

"_Good morning, Em. Things are real good, brother. That's what I need to talk to you about."_

"_Oh, yeah. I saw your blushing beauty already. Remind her not to ever play poker. She'd suck at it. I'd say Bella got her some Docward lovin' last night!"_

Shit!

"_Aw hell, Emmett! Please tell me that you didn't harass Bella. Fuck!"_

I heard Emmett chuckle and whisper my name to most likely Rose. I heard the echo in the background so I knew he had me on speakerphone now. I tried not to pull out my hair or wreck my car but I was getting pissed.

"_Such language, Brother dear! To answer your question, I didn't do anything mean. Just poked a little fun at her. Rose was right beside me and she drug me off before I got wound up. So, you and Bella Boo got it on, huh?"_

"_Listen to me and listen well, Emmett. You too, Rose. Bella is important to me. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know she spent the night with me and yes, things got heated. She's never been in a relationship, as you well know so this is all new to her. She's not good with attention and I don't want her retreating back behind that damned wall she puts up. I love her so she's not just a piece of ass to me. Okay?"_

"_Whoa! Love? Really?"_

"_Yes, really. I've known it since I first met her and by some miracle she loves me too. She's it for me, guys. We haven't told anyone and hell, I haven't even met her parents yet! Please keep this quiet until we're ready to tell Dad and Mom. I want this all to be done on Bella's terms."_

"_You've got it, Bro. We love you both. Hey, I'm real glad for you two, ya know." _

"_Thanks. She makes me very happy. Look, I need to get to clinicals. Just watch out for her, okay? Bye."_

"_Will do. Talk to ya soon, Edward."_

I hung up with Em felling better about the whole situation. They'd take care of her for me when I couldn't be around and they'd respect our relationship. I had no doubts about any of it. The four of them love her too. Mom and Dad will be thrilled that their Son has finally gotten his head out of his ass. I wonder about Bella's Mom and Dad? What will they think?

I sent Bella a quick message letting her know that I'd talked to Alice, Em and Rose making sure she was okay.

_Didn't catch Em b4 he got 2 u. SRY. Talked 2 him and he's gonna b cool. Al said she'd talk 2 u 2. ILY. TTY 2nite. E_

I hit send and went to put my phone away when it chirped with a new message that would carry me though the day until I could talk to her again.

_Em and Rose were okay. I got though it. Alice is thrilled. I was afraid she was gonna call ur mom! Not that I would care to shout how much ILY from the top of the Space Needle. Miss u and can't wait to TTYL. B_

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**A/N: And there you have it! Chapter 23, signed, sealed and delivered. Let me know what you think! Next chapter we take a trip to Phoenix and Jake makes an appearance. Till next time! **


	24. Chapter 24

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 24

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment. **

**A/N: I just want you all to know how awed I am at the recent surge in this story. I know a few of you have pimped it out and I want to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. It means so much to me that you like this enough to rec it to others. Check out my blog for some new pics and other information. A million hugs being sent to twimom817 and kare831 for all the work they do in the Fandom and to make my story better. Love you both! **

_**BPOV**_

The next couple of weeks went by in a blur. Real life slapped us in the face with school, work and Edward's required hospital training had begun, so our time together was cut down significantly. The bubble we'd created the weekend that we finally made love seemed like a distant but wonderful memory.

Edward had to pull the weekend shift 'on call' at the hospital as part of his clinical requirements so we didn't get to see each other but for dinner and a movie on the following Saturday night, although he was so tired he could hardly carry a conversation. We did manage to talk on the phone and text several times a day but I was craving his kisses … his touch.

Rose and Alice tried to keep things light and cheery but I wasn't good company most days feeling the ache in my chest when Edward wasn't with me. Rose and I had finally talked about everything that had happened and she was overjoyed. Surprisingly Emmett hadn't teased me any further about that weekend, which put me at ease somewhat. It was hard for me to be around the two couples without missing Edward but I put on my happy face and dealt with it.

Mom and I had talked a few times and I knew that she was working on getting free time to go back to Arizona. I'd been pushing her, knowing that if I didn't I'd be driving from and to Washington State in the dead of winter and that was not something I wanted to do. Thursday morning I got the phone call I'd been waiting to get but also dreading.

"_Hey Mom. What's up?"_

"_Hey, baby girl. Listen, I have next weekend free to fly back to Phoenix and tie up the loose ends so the Realtor can meet me to put the house on the market. Can you come then so we can get your things taken care of?"_

"_I'll get it worked out, Mom. I'll have to arrange for a U Haul truck to be picked up in Phoenix and get a flight out but I can manage okay."_

"_Good. I'm so sorry it's taken so long to get this done, Bella. Things have been crazy. I do miss you so much and can't wait to see you."_

"_I miss you too, Mom. I'll make the arrangements here to leave next Friday. I need to call Dad too, since I'll be stowing things at his place."_

"_Alright, you call Charlie and let me know when you have final plans. I'm flying out Thursday and will be flying back on Sunday."_

"_Okay. I need to go to class. Talk to you as soon as I have my plans made, okay?"_

"_Sounds great, baby girl. Love you."_

"_Love you too. Tell Phil hello."_

I hung up with Renee and took a deep, cleansing breath. I love the woman but she is so scatterbrained sometimes. I just hope I have enough money in my meager bank account to pull this off. I wish Edward could go with me but with his crazy schedule I'd feel bad asking him. The trip is going to be brutal alone with lots of miles and little time to enjoy my trip back home.

I'd finally broken down and told Renee and Charlie about Edward. Renee, of course, was ecstatic that her daughter had found someone after all the years of being alone. She was thrilled that he was a Med student and I'm sure she was already hearing wedding bells and bouncing grandbabies on her knee. Charlie, on the other hand, was kind but gruff with his response. He'd never gotten the chance to be the Dad that was ceremoniously cleaning his gun and drinking beer at the kitchen table while my date waited nervously for me to be ready to go out. He said he was happy if I was but that he'd kick some serious ass if Edward ever stepped out of line. He'd finished our conversation by saying, 'I know people that can make him disappear if he ever hurts you, Bella'.

The girls had already left for class so I send Edward a quick text telling him about the call from Renee. We hadn't talked about the trip much since I'd had no timetable to talk about but it looked like another weekend apart and that thought hurt deep inside my chest.

Ever since Edward and I had taken our relationship to the next level, I was a changed person. He was constantly telling me how beautiful I am or how much he loves me. It was surreal but I felt the same way about him and for some reason, I couldn't make myself not believe his words. I needed to see him soon. The absence was killing me.

At lunch, I went to my usual table out on the concourse. I was going to finish some reading before my afternoon classes when I was interrupted by a voice that I'd not heard in a few weeks and my stomach dropped like a lead weight.

"Well if it isn't the illusive Bella. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were avoiding me."

Jake. Crap.

"Um, hey, Jake. I was, um just finishing up here and heading to class," I said as I nervously grabbed my books and uneaten sandwich, shoving them in my messenger bag.

"What's the rush? Your class doesn't start for another half hour? Chill out and finish your food, Bella," Jake said as he plopped down on the seat across from me. "Sit and talk to me awhile."

My mind began to race. Think Bella! Where was Emmett or Jasper right now? I needed to calm down and try to text one of them and hope it scared Jake away. After the incident at the library that night, I was scared of him. I'd never told Edward about Jake so I couldn't text him lest I'd have to explain this all to him and I didn't want to do that over the phone. Maybe I was just being paranoid.

"Um, okay. I just need to text someone real quick about an assignment."

I grabbed my phone and sent a quick text to Alice asking if she could meet me real quick for lunch on the concourse. She should be out of class and probably was with Jasper but I didn't want to freak her out so I left it vague. Hopefully with her sharp intuition she'd sense my real need for someone as soon as possible. Jake sat across from me and just stared at me as I fumbled with my phone

I waited a few seconds. No response. I put my phone away and tried to relax my mind and body. I had been proud of myself for not taking my anxiety meds for a few weeks but I was wishing now that I had. Deep breaths, Bella. What can he do to you out in public?

"So, Bella. Like I said, I haven't seen you around much. Where have you been hiding?" Jake asked in a calm but pointed way.

"Hiding? I've not been hiding. Just busy. Why?"

"Busy, huh? Well, since your not busy now so why don't we ditch class this afternoon and I'll take you out somewhere fun. You look like you need some excitement."

I need for you to leave me alone! I cleared my throat hoping for a calm and clear voice to respond with. I didn't need to sound weak or scared.

"Jake, I've already told you. I have a boyfriend so I'm not going out anywhere with anyone else but him. No means no! I think you need to leave," I said emphatically as the panic rose in my throat.

"Oh, the doctor boyfriend," Jake chuckled as he leaned toward me and grabbed my wrist roughly; his eyes locked on mine. "Yeah, I've seen you two around and you're just a passing phase for him. Someone to occupy his mind and bed that doesn't mind to be in second place behind his career. A woman like you needs a real man, Bella. He's a pansy ass. The things I could do to you would make your toes curl. I'll make you forget he ever existed. Don't fight it. I'm right here."

What the hell? I couldn't believe his nerve!

"This conversation is over, Jake. I'd appreciate it if you'd leave. Now!" I shouted as I tried to jerk my arm free from his grasp.

"What the fuck ever, Bella. You'll see that I'm right and I'll be watching for when you fall apart. Waiting to get what I want. It's just a matter of time before you come crawling to me, begging …" Jake trailed off angrily as he let go of my wrist and stood abruptly from his seat glaring behind me.

"I think you heard the lady. She just isn't into you. It's a good thing you let go of her just now. Get your shit and make tracks before I pummel your fucking ass into the pavement," I heard fluidly from behind me.

Jasper. Thank the Lord!

I looked around and was never so happy to see Alice and Jasper standing behind me. I'd never even heard Jasper raise his voice, but at this moment there was nothing but anger etched across his face and seriousness in his tone. Calm and lethal. His hands were flexing at his sides and his nostrils flared with his menacing glare toward Jake.

I hopped up quickly and ran to Alice's side in tears. All of the previous events had made me an emotional wreck as my tough façade crumbled. Alice wrapped her little arms around me and led me away to the shadow of a huge tree. Far enough away that I couldn't hear the altercation that had me shaking and sobbing in fear and humiliation.

"Shhh, Bella. You're safe now," Alice crooned in my ear as she rubbed my back and let me ruin her shirt with my tears.

Jake and Jasper stood unmoving for several minutes as they continued to size each other up and unknown words were being spoken. Finally Jake looked at me with a smirk and turned on his heel and stalked away. Jasper watched him until he was gone before he came to Alice and me.

"He's gone, Bella. Are you alright?" Jasper asked anxiously as he approached.

I pulled from Alice's hold and wiped the tears from my eyes. My chest felt tight and my stomach was nauseated. I nodded and looked off in the direction that Jake had gone.

"Um, yeah. I … I think so."

"Who the hell was that, Bella?" Alice asked as she linked her hands with mine.

"Jake. He's, uh a guy that I met one day after class. I've um, ran into him several times the past month. "

Jasper and Alice shared a look before leading me back to the picnic table to sit.

"Tell me about this guy, Bella. Has he bothered you before?" Jasper asked in a way that I knew he expected the whole story.

I took a deep breath and told them everything. From the day I ran into him, literally on my way to class to the creepy exchange outside of the library that night. When Alice asked about why Edward hadn't mentioned this to her or the others I cringed with feelings of guilt and remorse for keeping this from them.

"I haven't told Edward," I said in a whisper as I began to cry silent tears for my stupidity.

"Oh, Bella," Alice sighed as she rubbed my back soothingly. "You can't keep things like this from him, honey. He needs to know."

"She's right, Bella. Edward cares for you and you for him. Come on. Let's get you back to the dorms and we'll call him. Okay?"

I sighed and nodded in agreement. My biggest fear was the reaction he'd have from me not telling him. Would he be so mad he'd not trust me anymore? Was Jake right that I was just a fling? My stomach rumbled as my mind raced over Jake's words. I stumbled and threw up pure bile behind the nearby tree until my throat burned.

We walked silently back to Pattison with Jasper keeping a watch out for Jake to reappear. When we were safely inside my room, I excused myself to the bathroom. I needed a few minutes alone to gather my thoughts before facing Edward's anger and disappointment.

When I emerged Jasper and Alice were sitting on her bed. I could feel the love and pity rolling from them in waves as they watched me move about the room. I took my bottled water out of my bag and went to my bedside table and opened the little orange pill bottle that held my anxiety meds. I popped one in my mouth and swallowed it down into my empty stomach.

So much had happened today with Mom, the trip and now Jake. I grabbed my phone and sat down on my bed. Edward would be out of class soon. A few minutes later, Jasper broke the silence.

"I know this is hard for you, Bella but Edward does love you. He's probably going to be hurt when he finds out you've kept this from him but I do know that he needs to know everything. We all care for you a great deal and this all will work out, hon. I know it."

I looked to my friends and felt better knowing I wasn't alone.

"Thank you both for being here with me and for me. You know I have a hard time sharing my problems with others. I don't know what I'd have done if you two hadn't shown up like you did today."

"I'm glad you texted me, Bella! I can't even think of what could've happened! That guy is dangerous," Alice exclaimed.

I nodded knowing she was right. Jake had some weird fixation with me and I doubt if today's incident will deter him from whatever it is he's after. Why would he want _me_?

"I was so scared. He … started saying things and he … grabbed my arm."

"Well, from now on out we're going to coordinate our schedules so someone is around when you change classes, Bella. Now, before you argue, I know you didn't ask for this, but we are family and family takes care of each other. It's the same for you as it is for Alice and Rose," Jasper stated. "We've texted Em and Rose to meet us here when they are out of class. I've told them what happened. I'd wager that Edward will be here as soon as he knows so we can have a group meeting about this. Who knows? If this guy is stalking girls on campus, then Alice, Rose and many others could be at risk as well. I'm going to go to campus security and file a formal complaint and ask for a protection order for you, Bella. Maybe the ass will be suspended from attending classes and be banned from campus."

"Okay. Thank you guys again. I'd be so lost right now without you all."

As those words left my mouth the door flew open and a very pissed Emmett and Rose barreled in.

"BELLA!" Emmett shouted as he grabbed me up in a bear hug causing my phone to fly out of my hands and onto the bed. "I'm gonna find that som'bitch and teach him some manners!"

He let me go and began to pace angrily across the room. I was free for a second before Rose threw her arms around me.

"Bella. I'm so sorry this happened to you but know this, it stops now. He won't bother you again. Are you okay, sweetie?"

I was overcome with emotions. Never in my life had I felt so much love and support. I was safe. Now I just had to convince Edward of that.

"I'm … so …just, thanks," I stammered as I tried to calm myself for the upcoming call that I had to make. I just wasn't sure that I _could_ call him.

"Bella? It's time to call Edward. You don't want him hearing about this second hand," Jasper said sympathetically. "Can you talk or would you like me to call him?"

"Jasper," I rasped as I took in a sharp breath. "I don't think I can …"

"Alright, hon. I'm gonna call him from my room. Just relax. Why don't you go take a shower? Maybe that will calm you down a bit."

"I'll go with ya, Jazz," Emmett replied as he kissed Rose. "You girl hang tight here and we'll be back in a bit."

I nodded robotically as Jasper and Emmett left the room. Although I'd taken my Xanax, I hadn't been taking them as prescribed so there wasn't a "quick fix". I felt the uncontrollable anxiety begin to take over my body and brain. The feelings of isolation and dread in my head and heart wouldn't go away. I walked in a daze to my dresser and grabbed my favorite pajamas and my thick wool socks.

"Come on, B. Go shower. It's going to be fine," Alice said as she walked me to the bathroom door.

I turned on the water and stepped under the spray as the tears came down in full force. I slid down the wall to sit on the floor of the shower as I let the pain and fear overtake me until I couldn't feel anything.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**EPOV **_

Whoever said that absence makes the heart grow fonder was full of shit. It had been almost a week since I'd had any alone time with Bella and even then I was too damn tired to be much company. This was the part of my chosen career that drove me crazy now that I had someone important in my life. I sure as hell wasn't feeling fond about anything right now.

Ever since we'd finally taken that intimate step in our relationship I couldn't stop thinking about our future together. I wanted her in my life permanently; to grow old and gray with her by my side. I needed her to be complete.

I'd gotten a text from Bella this morning that she was going to be going to Phoenix to pack her belongings so her Mom could sell their house. I knew this was a bittersweet time for Bella, leaving the only home she'd really ever known. I texted her back to tell her I'd call her this evening and we'd talk more about the trip.

She'd given me the timetable so I began calling my professors to let them know I would need to be out of town and since it was only for Friday classes I knew I was going to be able to work it out. Carlisle was more than willing to let me off from the clinic that day. He didn't want Bella to travel alone any more than I did. She didn't know about any of my plans. I would surprise her tonight.

My phone vibrated in my pocket as I was leaving class. Expecting it to be Bella, I was surprised to see Jasper's name pop up on the caller ID. He never calls and this made my skin prickle.

"Hey Jazz, what's up?"

"Edward. Are you out of class?" Jasper asked calmly.

"Yeah, I just left my last one of the day. Why? What's wrong?" I replied as a feeling of dread washed over me.

"Listen, I need to tell you something but before I do, I want you to promise me that you'll hear me out, alright?"

What the fuck? I unlocked my door and unloaded on him.

"Jazz, cut the bullshit! What's happened? Tell me!" I shouted as I sat down in my car and started the engine.

"Bella had an incident on campus today. Some asshole was harassing her and it isn't the first time it's happened. She texted Alice to meet her for lunch which she never does so we both knew something was off. When we met her, this Jake douche had her wrist in a vise grip talking smack. She's upset and scared to tell you about it ..."

"WHO THE FUCKING HELL IS JAKE? WHERE'S BELLA?" I yelled as I peeled out of the parking lot and drove toward to Pattison as fast as the Volvo would take me.

"Calm down, Edward. He's just some random guy. She's fine now but I suspect when this all hits her she's going to need you. I just left her with the girls in their dorm and they were going to get her to shower. Emmett is with me now and we're going to campus security to file a report and get Bella some type of protection order. I assume you're on you way?"

"Fuck yes, I'm on my way!" I growled, weaving in and out of traffic.

"Okay. I'll let Alice know. We'll meet you in the girls' dorm room when we get back from security. For fucks sake, Edward, she's a mess. Calm yourself before you see her. I doubt she can handle any more stress today."

"Okay, I'm trying and thanks for being there for her when I wasn't, man," I said as I tried to calm myself down from my raging urge to kill this Jake motherfucker.

We hung up and I threw my phone onto the passenger seat. Why the hell had Bella not told me about this guy bothering her? I was worried about her current well-being but also a little pissed off that she'd kept this from me. I'm no damn mind reader!

Right now, Bella needed me and I had to get a grip. Someone had hurt my girl; maybe not physically but emotionally. I prayed that she was strong enough now to handle this. She'd come so far. I cursed at the slow cars as I whipped through the Seattle traffic.

I felt some relief when I saw the dorm ahead. I wheeled my car into the first spot and ran to the door not caring if the engine was off or if I'd locked the doors. I bypassed the elevator and bounded up the stairs as fast as I could. I didn't stop running till I got to her door. I knocked once yelling for Alice to let me in. When she opened the door I saw her pained expression.

"Alice! Rose! Where's Bella?" I asked desperately as I looked around the dorm.

"She's in the bathroom, Edward. She's been in there since Jazz and Em left. I've tried to talk to her but she won't answer me. She's thrown up till there isn't anything left in her stomach and she took her meds just awhile ago. I'm really worried!" Alice said as the tears ran down her face for her friend.

I hurried over to the bathroom door and listened. I could hear the water running. I jiggled the knob but the door was locked.

"Bella? Baby, it's me. I'm worried about you. Can you please let me in?" I pleaded as I listened for a response.

Nothing.

"Edward, she's been in there too long. I don't think she'll open the door on her own. I've looked all over for the key and I can't find it anywhere! Kick the damn thing in!" Rose ordered as she tried to console Alice.

I knocked on the door and tried the knob again.

"Bella, please open the door," I begged again a little louder.

Still no response. Fuck this. I'd gladly pay for the damages to the door. I had to get to Bella.

"Bella, baby, I'm going to have to kick in the door. Please, just hold on till I can get in there."

I motioned for Alice and Rose to step back and I kicked the door as hard as I could causing it to fly open and bang loudly against the vanity. The shower curtain was pulled shut and I could hear Bella's strangled sobs from behind it. I ran to the curtain and jerked the curtain open to be met with a sight that would haunt my mind for the rest of my days.

Huddled on the floor of the shower was my entire world. The shower had long since run cold and she sat moaning, rocking and shivering, unaware of my presence. Her skin was almost blue from the icy water.

I turned off the shower and scooped her tiny stiff body into my arms, tucking her into my body, feeling the shock of her cold skin against my thin scrubs. Alice came from behind me and draped a large towel over Bella as I cradled her.

"It's okay, love. I've got you," I crooned in her ear softly, planting tiny kisses across her face as I rocked her like a baby in my arms.

She needed warmth quickly and my medical training kicked in as a sense of calm washed over me. Bella needed me now and I couldn't fail her.

"Rose, would you turn back the covers on Bella's bed, please? She's in shock and I need to get her warm as quickly as possible. Alice, call Dad and have him come here as quickly as he can. I know you two want to be here right now, and God only knows what would have happened if she'd been alone and for that I can never repay you enough if I live to be a hundred, but right now I need to be alone with Bella. I want Dad to check her over and in her current state of dress; the guy's don't need to be here. Can you two stay with Em and Jazz until we can get her in control?"

"Of course, Edward," Rose replied as she prepared the bed and laid Bella's pajamas at the foot.

I lay Bella on her sheets facing me and curled up beside her, drawing the comforter over us as I held her close. Her shaking had subsided some but she was still unresponsive to any stimuli and her body was pulled tight as a banjo string. Her eyes were clamped shut and the only sounds she had made was an occasional whimper. Alice hadn't moved from her spot in the bathroom doorway as she looked on with a blank expression.

"Alice, I know you love her too but do this for me, okay? I promise to call you back down here as soon as I can."

"Okay I'll do this for you, but keep me posted. I _do_ love her and my heart is breaking right now! You didn't see him …"

"I know. We will talk about the incident later, Alice. Right now, Bella is top priority. Call Dad and leave the door unlocked."

"Come on, Alice. He's right. Carlisle and Edward need space and privacy. We'll just be upstairs," Rose said as she prodded Alice to the door and they left quietly.

I rubbed my hands over her body to stimulate the blood flow and her color slowly improved. Her eyes were still closed and she'd yet to come out of her hysteria.

"Come on, beautiful. Open those big brown eyes up for me. I've missed you so much. Please, baby. I love you so much!" I pleaded as I continued to create as much warmth for her as I could.

"Edward …"

I gasped as I heard my name fall from her trembling lips. Fresh tears streaking down her beautiful face. Thank God she was awake!

"Oh, Bella. Sweetheart, it's okay. Just rest. I've got you."

"I'm … so … sorry," Bella cried.

"Shhh. We'll talk later."

With Bella cradled in my arms, she relaxed and drifted off to sleep; the Xanax and exhaustion finally taking its toll. I hummed softly to her and whispered my love to her as she drifted deeper into sleep. I jumped when my phone beeped with a new message from Alice.

_Dad will be there soon. How is she?_

I tapped out a reply, thanking Alice and letting her know that Bella had come around but was sleeping. I eased Bella out of my arms as I slid from the bed. I pulled her pajamas on her body as best as I could without disturbing her needed rest and took a seat by the window. My hands raked through my hair as my mind finally catching up with the situation and my unanswered questions.

Who the fuck was Jake? Why had she kept him from me? When Bella recovered, I had plenty of questions. I was just afraid of the answers.

Bella was resting quietly when Carlisle arrived. I gave him a brief rundown on what I knew. Anger and concern etched on Carlisle's features as I told him how she was when I finally got to her. Neither of us wanted to wake her, but we both wanted her checked over to make sure she was going to be alright from the shock.

"Son, I think it would be best if you were the one to wake her up. She may be disoriented and I don't want to cause her any more distress. I'm going to talk to her and hope that she gets this all out in the open. Edward, I think she's going to need you for a few days, so when I suggest she stay with you through the weekend, will that be alright?"

I nodded in agreement. Of course she can stay with me and as far as I was concerned, she'd never leave again. I went to the side of the bed and knelt down on the floor. Gently I brushed the hair away from her angelic face.

"Bella? Come on, baby. Time to wake up."

Bella mumbled incoherently as she roused from her sleep. Her eyes opened and I smiled as she gave me a small grin.

"Hi."

No matter what had happened, I couldn't be mad at her. She didn't ask for any of this and I'm sure in her mind she was protecting me by not telling me what had been going on.

"Hi, beautiful. Did you rest well?"

Bella stretched and I watched a myriad of emotions cross her face.

"Um, yeah. Thank you for earlier. I'm sorry I couldn't talk then but I heard every word you said, Edward. I love you and I'm so sorry that I kept things from you."

"I love you too, baby. Right now I need to know that you're okay. Carlisle is here and he's going to check you out. You gave us a pretty good scare earlier."

"Oh gosh!" Bella said as she blushed just realizing Carlisle was in the room.

"Bella, it's all going to be fine. I'm very happy for you. You and Edward both deserve love and happiness," Carlisle said gently as he sat on the edge of her bed. "Now, can you tell me if you're injured in any way or in any pain?"

"No, I'm fine physically, Carlisle. Edward got me warmed up from being so cold but other than that I'm okay."

Carlisle nodded as he checked her pulse and gave her a pat on the head.

"You appear to be alright but I want you to call me if anything changes. Now, let's go into what cause the panic attack you had earlier. Can you tell Edward and me what happened today?"

Bella looked over at me and I gave her a nod.

"Baby, just tell us what you're comfortable with. No one is going to push you."

"I need to tell it all, Edward or the guilt and pain is going to consume me."

Bella sat up in the bed and pulled the covers up around her waist. I took her hand in mine in a gesture of my love and support as she took a deep breath and began her story.

She began telling how she first met Jake all those weeks ago. She said that he seemed like a friendly guy and she didn't feel any fear at first. She lamented on the fact that she needed to make new friends and thought that's what she was doing.

I growled out loud when she went into the night he'd followed her to the library making sure she knew he was only trying to "keep her safe". She began to cry softly when she told us about him touching her without permission and how he told her I could use a little competition and that she told him she wasn't interested.

My body tensed in anger as she told of the several times she had felt like she was being followed only to never see anything or anyone out of place around her.

Pure white rage coursed through my veins when she went into today's events. She shook as she replayed how he'd talked down to her and grabbed her wrist when he said she was just a fling to me … that he'd be watching her. Waiting for me to move on to another woman and that he'd be there to pick up the pieces I'd leave behind.

Somehow I remained as calm for Bella, keeping a soothing hand clasped with hers as we kept quiet and let her get everything off her chest. Inside I was about to explode. That would have to wait till later. Some motherfucker was going to pay and dearly for what he'd put my Bella through.

When she was finished and her tears and trembling subsided a bit, Carlisle spoke.

"Bella, you've been through a traumatic event. Although you haven't been physically injured, the emotional scars are every bit as important to heal. Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome is very real and with your history of extreme anxiety I'd say that is what has happened in a mild form today."

I couldn't stay quiet any longer. I had to get some answers.

"Baby, why didn't you tell me what was going on? Or tell Alice, Rose, Emmett or Jasper? We would have helped you get through this. We could've kept you safe."

Bella looked up at me with her haunted eyes boring into mine.

"Because I was afraid."

I took her face in my hands and gently ran my fingers over hear tear-stained cheeks.

"Why were you afraid? It hurts me to think that you couldn't trust me to help you."

Fresh tears rimmed her eyes as she let out a shaky breath. I didn't want to push her; I promised that I wouldn't, but I couldn't understand for the life of me why she would keep this to herself.

"I was afraid that you'd think I'd caused it, that you'd be mad at me and not want me anymore. I didn't want anything to affect our relationship or cause you to lose focus on your career. I thought I could handle it alone. I knew if I told the others that they'd tell you so I kept this all to myself like a fool. I'm so sorry, Edward. I never meant to hurt you."

"Baby, I'm holding the most important thing in the world in my hands right now. Nothing will ever change that. I love you more that my own life but I can't be with you 24-7 and I need for you to take care of what God's blessed me with and that's you, Bella."

I leaned in and kissed her chapped lips and pulled her body close to mine. My heart raced at the thought of losing her to anything or anyone. Carlisle cleared his throat and stood from the bed.

"Bella, I'm going to leave now but here's what I want you to do for me. I want you to take your Xanax every 8 hours for awhile, whether you feel like you need it or not. No classes tomorrow and I want you to come by the house on Sunday and let me check you over again. I'd rather you not be alone for a few days so if you'd be willing, why don't you pack up a few things and go to Edward's apartment through the weekend."

Bella nodded her head and I sighed in relief.

"Good. Son, I'll call your school and let them know that there's been a family situation that will require you to miss tomorrow and I'll cover any patient's you have at the clinic."

"Thanks, Dad."

"Alright, I'm going to head home to let Esme in on the day's events. Call me if you need anything."

After Dad left, we sat in silence for a few minutes before Bella's stomach growled loudly and she tried to suppress a giggle which in turn made me laugh.

"Sounds like someone is hungry. Come on. Let's pack a bag and get you out of here."

Bella went to her closet and grabbed her overnight bag while I sent a text to the guys to tell them that I was taking Bella home with me. Jasper replied that he was glad she was okay and that he'd filed a complaint with security. They'd need Bella's statement on Monday. I replied back, giving my thanks and letting him know I'd be in touch tomorrow to talk more about all of this.

When Bella was packed and ready I led her out to the car, watching her eyes dart from side to side as she looked for that fucker lurking in the shadows. I swallowed the bile that rose in my throat as I seated her in the car and went around getting in my side as I gave a long look over the campus. Someone was going to pay dearly for the events that had hurt my girl.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**A/N: I think this is my longest chapter so far. Sorry guys, no fluff or even citrus this time around but there really was no place for it in this pivotal chapter. I knew this day would eventually come and there you have it. I hope Jake get's what's coming to him and that Edward can get out of clinicals two weekends in a row (Lol Kare!). Let me know what you think! Some parts of LDTW are still up in the air and your reviews help me steer these kids in the right direction. Thanks for reading! Till next weekend…**


	25. Chapter 25

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 25

I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own enjoyment.

**A/N: Just a quick note saying hello to all my new readers and to thank everyone for the recent reviews and for the nominations in The Sunflower Awards. My categories are Judge Vote Only, so it's all in their hands but I feel like a winner either way. LDTW was also a featured "Under the Radar" fic of the week so if you have access to my blog, check out the write up. As always, huge thanks to twimom817 and kare831 (aka TwoTwiMoms and they are nominated for Sunflower Awards too that you CAN vote for so please do so, for me to show them your support) for all they do for me. Thanks to Anillicitwriter for the graphics and credoroza for making my blog pretty. See you at the bottom. **

_**EPOV**_

The ride to my apartment was a quiet one. Bella was subdued and exhausted from her ordeal and this was apparent as she drifted off to sleep before we'd made it very far from campus. I was pissed at the entire situation and frankly, I was holding on to my anger by a thread, but I was keeping my cool. Bella may have not been completely open with me but the situation wasn't her fault and she didn't need anything else piled on her battered soul right now.

As we made our way across town, my cell rang. I dug around in my pockets until I found my phone praying that whoever was calling didn't bear any more bad news. I felt instant calming relief when I saw the name flash on the screen.

"Hey, Mom."

"Oh Edward," she answered. I could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke. "Dad just told me what happened. How's Bella?"

"She's worn out from the meds and the whole ordeal. It breaks my heart. I'm just so damn worried about her. We're headed to my place so I can take care of her for the weekend but also to keep her off campus. Maybe they can find this ass now that he's been reported. I haven't gotten the specifics from Emmett or Jasper yet," I said, barely controlling my temper as I pulled the Volvo into the parking garage of my apartment.

"I think that's for the best, Son. I know you will feel better having her close by but I also worry about you. This wasn't your fault so you need to stop beating yourself up. Bella is a strong woman but she needs you to be strong too. Promise that you'll call me if either of you need me, okay? I care so deeply for you both and Bella may need a mother-figure to help her cope."

I sighed as I looked over at my sleeping angel. "Thanks, Mom. You may want to check on Alice too. She was pretty upset when she left us earlier."

"I knew she would be and she's my next call. I want to speak to her and Jasper, then Emmett and Rose. Take care of our girl, Edward. I love you and will talk to you later, sweetheart."

"I will, don't worry. Love you too, Mom."

I didn't want to wake Bella but I felt the overwhelming urge to grab and run with her to the safety of my loft. My hackles were raised and the urge to hit something or someone was dangerously close to fruition. I didn't know who this Jake guy was or what he's capable of but I _would_ find him and get my answers. I shook those thoughts from my head in exasperation … Bella was safe with me and that's got to be my focus now.

"Bella? Baby, we're here. Can you wake up for me?" I asked softly as I touched her cheek, my heart swelling with love.

"Mmm. Edward …" Bella mumbled as she slowly roused from her sleep. Her eyes were still puffy from all her tears and her voice rough from her nap.

I chuckled at my girl. So strong yet so vulnerable but entirely beautiful and all mine.

"Baby? Do you want me to carry you in or do you think you can walk?"

Bella stretched and opened her eyes. She took in her surroundings and sat up straight in her seat as she looked to me with wide eyes.

"Oh! I'm so sorry I fell asleep."

"It's totally understandable, beautiful. Come on. Let's get you inside and fed."

I didn't want to rehash the day's events unless she initiated the conversation. I didn't want our memories here to be tainted but I'd gladly let her unload on me if it would ease her mind. I was going to call Jasper when I had privacy to find out more about what was going to be done to catch this guy. I didn't want Bella to worry anymore but I wouldn't keep anything from her if she asked.

I grabbed her bag from the backseat and helped her out of the car. I couldn't help but take notice of our surroundings as I led her inside the locked building. It would be difficult for anyone to gain access to this building, with all the security that had been installed but not impossible. Once we were safely in my apartment I set the alarm and let out a silent sigh of relief.

"Bella, make yourself comfortable with the TV or whatever. I'm going to go change clothes and start dinner," I said as I walked turning on the lights and set her bag on the table.

Bella wandered into the kitchen behind me and took a seat at the table. She seemed uncomfortable as she fidgeted in the seat and that wasn't going to do at all.

"Baby, what's wrong? Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?" I asked as I took a seat beside her and took her hand in mine.

Bella blushed as she looked up at me. Tears threatening to fall as she struggled to put her thoughts into words.

"My … skin …hurts all over. It feels like its crawling. I … need … could you … maybe look at it and … put some lotion on me?" she asked shyly.

Edward, you stupid, insensitive boyfriend! Of course she was uncomfortable. Her skin was dry and chapped from the cold shower, not to mention the stress of all that had occurred. She was most likely in a psoriatic flare. Damn!

"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry. I should've thought about that," I said as I stood and pulled her up with me, kissing her cheek. "Go up to my room and I'll be right up to take care of you. I want to get some food in you before you pass out on me."

Bella grabbed her bag and went up to my room. I pinched the bridge of my nose and wanted to kick my own ass. I'm a damn dermatology doctor and I'd totally dropped the ball on her but to my defense there hadn't been any time to focus on anything but her current state of mind.

I rummaged around in the freezer and found some of Mom's homemade chili. Mom was good enough to tape a note with reheating instructions on each of her meals so I quickly set a pan on the stove on low heat and got the chili warming before I went up to check on Bella.

I found her sitting on the edge of my bed in just my robe with the tub of lotion I'd used before sitting on the bedside table. My cock twitched at the onslaught of memories of the last time Bella was in my bed. Damn, traitorous dick! Now is not the time! I subtly adjusted myself hoping my boxer briefs would keep Big Ed contained. When her eyes met mine I had to grit my teeth to quell the urge to rip that damn robe off and ravish her body with my hands, mouth and cock.

"Alright, beautiful, slip the robe off and lie back. I want to get a good look at your skin," I said hoping my brain would get the message to my cock that now was not the time for show and tell.

Bella slid the robe from her shoulders and settled back on the pillows. I had to hold back a groan that threatened to slip from my lips as I looked at her naked body on display on my bed and the lost wanton look in her eyes. Her nipples pebbled from the slight chill and from the sexual electricity that was in the air. When I saw the condition of her poor skin though, all those pleasant thoughts disappeared. Her normal problem areas were red and dry but there were new areas making their presence known. Her chest, arms and legs had several small, reddened plaques that hadn't been there before. I kept a cool demeanor as I examined the visible areas of her body, noting numerous new areas of concern that I would call Carlisle about later. My poor girl had to be miserable.

"I think your psoriasis is in a flare, sweetheart. Can you tell me when these new areas began to appear?" I asked calmly as I opened the tub of lotion and began applying it thickly to her skin, making sure to give each plaque individual attention. My main concern was her immediate comfort but the clinical side of me knew that stress triggers most flares. With her flighty Mom, the upcoming trip to Phoenix, school, our time apart and this Jake fucker, it was a wonder that she wasn't any worse than she was.

"Um, it's gotten worse in the past few days. I'd been doing so well but I knew that it wouldn't last. It never does and I hate what it does to my skin," Bella responded sadly.

I know this subject is hard for her to deal with but I wasn't going to let her get down about it. I loved her regardless. When I had thoroughly examined and lotioned the front of her body I leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips and was rewarded with a small smile.

"You are still the most important and beautiful thing in my world, baby. Never doubt my words. We'll get through this flare and get your life back under control. Now, flip over. Let me look at your back."

Bella turned over and my heart broke at the similar condition to her back side. Her back being the worse affected with no way for her to care for this area without assistance from another, which I knew Bella would never ask for, unless it was from me. I lovingly massaged the lotion over the skin of her back and legs. When I was satisfied I kissed the nape of her neck and whispered in her ear, "All done, love. Feel better?"

"Yes, thank you, Edward. I'm sorry you have to see me like this."

I lay down, turning her body to face mine and making sure I had her attention before I spoke, "You don't ever need to thank me for taking care of you, Bella. I wouldn't have it any other way and I happen to love your body. Every. Glorious. Inch."

Bella's breath caught in her throat as she searched my face for any sign of bullshit on my part. I smirked back at her since she wouldn't find any because I told her the truth and my growing erection spoke for itself. I edged closer so she could feel it against her thigh.

"Do you feel that, baby?" I asked huskily as I pulled her taut body to mine. "That's all for you, about you. Nothing will ever change that. Psoriasis, old age, weight gain, nothing. I want you … all of you. Regardless of anything we can or cannot control."

"God, Edward. You have no idea what your words do to me. Please, show me. I need you," she said as she clutched my scrub top like a lifeline.

This was totally unplanned but I can't say that I was the least bit upset. My rational mind had decided to give her time to recoup. To let her mind and body heal from the events of the past few weeks, but seeing the longing in her eyes and the desperation in her voice, I couldn't say no. I needed this physical connection as much as she did.

"I told you that you'd never have to ask me twice and you won't," I said as I let my hands wind through her hair. "But, don't you think you should eat first?"

Bella's stomach chose to rumble at the same time and we both laughed at the irony.

"Come on, beautiful. Let's feed the belly monster and then we have all the time in the world for other things, okay?"

"Okay," she giggled as she put the robe back on her body.

I took her hand and led her downstairs. The chili was ready so I dished out two bowls, opened some saltine crackers and poured us both a glass of sweet tea. As we finished our supper, I decided to bring up the trip to Phoenix.

"So, have you decided about when to leave for Phoenix?" I asked as I began to clear the table.

Bella's face blanched as if she just remembered the trip next weekend. I waited for her answer but I wasn't going to let her get upset before I tell her the good news.

"Oh, yeah. I'm going to fly down on Thursday night and rent a U-Haul. That gives me Friday and Saturday morning to pack and then make the 25 hour drive to Forks and then Charlie … shit!" Bella said the last part in a panic as she hopped up and ran towards the stairs.

"Bella! What the …" I trailed off as I caught up with her, halting her ascent before she made it halfway up.

"Charlie! I haven't called him! Shit, shit, shit!"

I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her to me.

"Easy, baby. Calm down. Can I talk to you first?"

Bella relaxed slightly as I loosened my hold on her and led us up to the top of the staircase. I stopped outside of the bedroom door and took her hands in mine.

"Baby, I was going to tell you that I've asked off school and work on Friday and I'll take Monday if need be. I'm not comfortable with you traveling across the country alone. I think I'd go fucking nuts with worry."

Bella turned to me with a look of wonder on her face.

"Really? You'd want to go to Phoenix with me?" Bella asked as if she was in shock that I'd actually want to be with her.

I kissed the end of her nose.

"Well, that was the plan. I wanted to surprise you, beautiful. Would it be alright if I tagged along to Arizona? I can meet your Mom and your Dad in Forks."

She let out a squeal that would've made Alice proud as she leapt into my arms, wrapping around me like a pretzel. Her heated core pressed against my cock igniting the fire in my groin.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, thank you, Edward! I was dreading this trip so much and now I can't wait!" Bella chanted as she planted kisses on my face.

I backed us up slowly until we were at the foot of my bed and sat us down on the end. I kissed her deeply until all I could taste on my tongue was the sweetness that was all Bella.

"Baby, feel free to thank me like _that _anytime," I said as I broke the kiss. "Go ahead and call Charlie while I go clean up and change clothes."

Bella took out her phone and dialed the number. I grabbed a pair of sweats and a wife beater and went into the bathroom to change clothes. After I brushed my teeth, I went back out into the bedroom. Bella was still on the phone and she motioned for me to join her on the bed.

"Okay, hold on, Dad."

Bella muted the phone and let out a deep sigh as she looked at me.

"Dad wants to talk to you about what happened today. Will you talk to him?"

"Of course I will," I replied as Bella handed me the phone. I took her hand in mine as I unmuted the phone.

"Sir, this is Edward. Bella said you wanted to speak with me?"

"Edward. Chief Charles Swan, Bella's father. Good to talk to you. Now, can you tell me what the hell is going on with my daughter?"

I told Charlie everything I knew from when the guy first met Bella to the events that led her here. I gave him my medical opinion of her current physical and mental condition and also relayed what Carlisle had said in his earlier examination.

"I see. So where does that leave my daughter? I should come get her and bring her to Forks."

Shit! Here goes my weekend alone with Bella but his peace of mind will have to come first.

"Sir, my father and I feel that Bella needs to be monitored closely this weekend, so I've taken the liberty to set her up in a room at my apartment. Dad will be doing a follow up with her on Sunday at his home office, but please feel free to come if that's what you need to do. I have plenty of room."

Charlie grunted when I was through and I'm sure it had everything to do with the weekend living arrangements but he didn't say a word about it. He let out a long breath.

"Bella sounds lucky to have you all so thank you for easing a father's mind. I'll trust you to take care of her. What about this Jake? Are they looking for him? Has Bella even filed a report with the police?"

"Chief Swan, my sister's boyfriend, Japer Hale has been to the campus authorities as he was a witness to the events on campus today and Bella will need to make a statement Monday. I haven't had a chance to talk to him this evening but I will call him and if you'd like I can have him call you with the specifics."

"Alright, Edward, have him call me. I have a good friend in the Seattle PD named Jim Perry that I'll be talking with to make sure this doesn't get swept under the rug. This guy could be dangerous and I want him brought to justice."

"As do I, sir. I'll make the call to Jasper. It was good talking to you. I'll give you back to Bella now."

Charlie cleared his throat and Bella held out her hand. Her face scrunched in confusion when I didn't hand her the phone right away.

"Hold on. One more thing, son. My girl tells me that you're planning on making the big trip with her next weekend."

Oh, damn. I took a steadying breath before I responded.

"Yes, sir. I hope that's okay. The trip will be emotional for her and with the recent events; I'd feel safer if she wasn't alone."

Bella's mouth gaped open and Charlie's side of the call was quiet a few seconds. What if he asked me not to go? I couldn't do that to Bella.

"Edward, I'm glad you think so much of my girl but I'm not a fool as to the ways of the world. While I respect you for being honest and open with me today and mostly for taking care of Bella when I can't be there. Know this, don't use or hurt my daughter or I'll become your worst nightmare. She says she loves you and for her to make that declaration, then she must. Just don't fuck up, son and we'll get along fine."

I gulped as I thought of my reply.

"Sir, I love your daughter and if I ever hurt her, then I will be glad to take whatever punishment you deem appropriate."

With that, Bella groaned and hid her face in her hands.

"Fair enough. I'll be in touch. Now put Bella back on the line."

"Goodbye, sir," I said as I handed Bella back the phone.

I most certainly didn't want to piss Charlie off. I motioned to Bella that I was going to make the call to Jasper and handed her a notepad to write Charlie's number down. I wasn't going to fuck this up because, quite frankly, I was scared shitless of Charlie now.

I took the notepad and kissed Bella on the forehead before I went downstairs to call Jazz. I grabbed a beer from the fridge and plopped down on the couch.

"Hey. I was about to call you," Jasper said as he answered the phone.

"Dude, its been a long evening. Bella's fine but she's talking to her dad now. Tell me what happened with the campus police."

"Well, not much, I'll be honest. They took my statement and a description of Jake. I gave them Bella's name and explained that she was upset and unable to make a statement till Monday. They said they'd 'keep a look out' but with a student body the size of U Dub, it'll be hard to find him unless he fucks up again."

Not good enough. Damn it! What the hell does it take? Rape? Murder?

"Fuck! That's not acceptable, Jazz! She can't live in fear."

"I know, Edward. We're not going to let her be alone. Someone will be with her before and after classes. If we spot the fucker, he's going down. I assure you of that. No one threatens the well-being of our family."

I took a long pull from my beer and gave Jazz the short version of my call with Charlie, including his phone number. I also needed to know that Alice, Rose and Emmett were okay. Jasper was the most level headed, tactical man I knew and his words did bring a measure of comfort to my mind.

"Well, Edward, that sounds like the best possible scenario right now. I wouldn't count on the campus police being much help but if Charlie can call in a favor to the Seattle PD that will light a fire under the asses of those involved. Alice finally calmed down after your Mom called. Rose is doing alright but Em is ready to kill the motherfucker at the word "go"and I know we're all on high alert. We'll see her through this, man and I'll give the Chief a call after we hang up," Jasper replied coolly.

"I hope the fuck so," I said as I finished off my beer. "Listen, thanks for everything, Jazz. I'm gonna go be with Bella now. I'll talk to you later."

I disconnected the call and threw away my empty bottle. After double-checking the locks and alarm and turning out the lights I made my way back upstairs. Bella was sitting on the edge of the bed with her phone in her hands. I sat beside her and kissed her temple.

"Everything go okay with Charlie, baby?"

Bella sat the phone on the bedside table and gave me a small smile. She hated the feeling of being the center of attention and that's where this whole incident had thrown her.

"I think so. It took a lot of talking to get him to stay in Forks but I managed it. He's just worried about me, but you're all clear for Phoenix. Thanks for talking to him, Edward. It eased his mind and mine too," she said as she leaned into my chest, trailing her hand across my chest.

I let out a sharp breath as her fingernails grazed repeatedly over my sensitive nipples. I felt the chemistry in the room shift as my pulse quickened.

"Anything for you, beautiful," I replied as I eased her back onto the bed.

"Edward?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yeah?"

"Enough about Charlie. Make love to me now. I need you."

I hovered over her body as I claimed her mouth, our noses grazing as one fought for dominance over the other. I tried to be gentle but the urge to claim and protect what was mine overwhelmed me. I trailed kisses down her neck, nipping gently at the skin as I removed the robe from her shoulders and pushed the offending garment off of her body.

"God, I've missed you. Missed this, baby," I spoke truthfully as I moved my hands to knead her breasts.

My hips ground into her pelvis as I kissed my way down to her tight peaks. Slowly and deliberately I teased each nipple with my tongue and teeth until Bella was a writhing mess beneath me. As my kisses trailed lower I moved my fingers nimbly to her pussy, feeling her already drenched.

"Fuck," I growled as I slipped two fingers inside her heat. "So warm and wet for me."

"Yesss …only for you," Bella whimpered as I curled my fingers inside her sex.

I had to have a taste. I worked my fingers in and out of her tightness at a steady pace as my lips blazed a trail to her sweet pussy. Her clit was erect and begging for attention. As I flattened my tongue over it, Bella moaned.

"So good," I muttered as I sucked the bud into my mouth, teasing and drawing her closer to her climax. "Your body was made for me, baby. You like it when I eat your sweet pussy, beautiful?"

"Oh, oh, oh …Edward!"

I could feel her tighten and flutter around my fingers as I continued my oral ministrations on her clit. Her pussy grinding my face. I knew secretly that a little dirty talking heightened her arousal and would take her on over the edge.

"That's it, baby. Fuck my fingers and face. Come for me," I said as I nipped at her clit with my teeth and twisted and curled my fingers over her G-spot causing her to yell out my name again as she erupted like a volcano over my hands and face.

Bella's back arched from the bed as her orgasm shook her body. I licked and sucked all her sweet essence until she came down from her high. I jerked my shirt off my body and rid myself of the sweats and boxers, letting my cock free from its confines. I was hard and needy for this woman in my bed.

"Damn, baby, I need to be inside of you now," I said desperately as raised from my happy home between her legs. I gave my cock a few strokes as my eyes met hers. "I can't promise this will be gentle. I need to feel you all around me, to claim your body. To know that you're here, that you're safe and that you're mine only."

"Then fuck me, Edward," Bella said wantonly as I felt my eyes darken at her giving my dirty talk back to me. "Stake your claim on my body. Make me forget everything, even if it's just for awhile."

I never wanted to just fuck Bella. She deserved to be made love to, slowly and lovingly but I was too far gone. This would be hard and fast but full of my love and devotion. I grabbed her legs, taking caution to not hurt her skin as I draped them over my forearms, spreading her open for me as I plunged my cock deeply into her heat in one fluid stroke.

I was fueled by a fire that I'd never felt before as I pounded in and out of her pussy. I wanted, needed to be closer. I pulled out of her and flipped her on her stomach.

"Get up on your hands and knees, baby," I commanded as she followed my instructions, rubbing her perfect ass against my dick. "This is new for you but it will feel so good, baby. I promise."

I groaned as I sheathed myself in her pussy from behind.

"Oh, God!" Bella yelled, throwing her head back as I entered her fully.

I buried myself inside her as deeply as I could before I began thrusting inside her warmth. Her body was so responsive to mine as she clenched around me, moaning and whimpering.

"Fuck yes!" I yelled as I drove my cock harder than before.

I grabbed her hair and wrapped it around my hand, pulling her back to my chest as gently as I was capable of. I turned her head and snaked my tongue into her mouth, kissing her hard with all the pent up emotions I was letting go as I drew closer to my orgasm. I broke the kiss and let go of her hair and snaked my hand around to her clit, pinching and rubbing it, heightening the moment.

"I'm so fucking close to coming all inside your sweet pussy, baby. I need for you to come with me. Now," I whispered into her ear.

"Yes, yes, oh! I'm gonna come …don't stop!" Bella shouted as she met my thrusts inch for inch. I felt her begin to come undone around my cock.

"So fucking perfect … coming around my cock, baby."

I couldn't have stopped if my life depended on it. With a roar I released inside her body, feeling the tension and pain dissipate as I tumbled over the edge, taking Bella with me. The only sounds in the apartment were our panting breaths and our quiet declarations of love. I couldn't bear to pull out of her body just yet so I drew her into my arms as I lowered us to spoon on the bed.

"Bella, that was …"

"Amazing," Bella finished with a giggle as she pulled the covers over our bodies. I was spent and I knew she was exhausted.

"Yes, it was. Are you alright? I mean, I know I was a little rough."

Bella looked over her shoulder at me and smiled.

"I'm perfect and exactly where I want to be, Edward."

I smiled and drew her closer to kiss her swollen lips.

"I love you, beautiful. So much."

"I love you, too. Forever."

We lay together for awhile, with no words needing to be said until Bella let out a loud yawn and I couldn't stifle my laugh.

"Okay, beautiful. Up you go. Let's get ourselves cleaned up and go to bed. Tomorrow we need to get this trip planned out."

Bella sighed as I pulled out of her body and I hated the loss of connection immediately but I knew she'd be much more comfortable after she cleaned up a bit. She padded quietly to her bag and grabbed a clean pair of pajamas and disappeared into the bathroom. I grabbed my boxers and straightened out the sheets, making sure they were clean to sleep on. I took a moment to muse in my happiness. I wasn't over Jake. Not by a long shot but we couldn't let him dictate our lives. This weekend we'd forget it for awhile.

In a few minutes Bella emerged from the bathroom, cheeks still tinged pink but looking ever so beautiful in her plaid sleep pants and top. She hurried to the bed and snuggled into my side. I kissed the top of her head as I pulled the covers around us.

"I love you, beautiful. Sleep well."

"Love you too. G'nite, Edward."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**A/N: Well, those two seem to be handling things well now. Jake needs to grow eyes in the back of his head, I think. Next up, the rest of the weekend and a trip to Phoenix/Forks for the two lovebirds and Edward gets to "meet the parents". Let me know what you think! I love all my reviews and they keep me going! **


	26. Chapter 26

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 26

I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal entertainment.

**A/N: Wow! Thanks for the great response to the last few chapters! I was planning to get some of this chapter done earlier in the week, but I have had a blessing this week with the birth of my nephew, Cody on Sunday 1/29 which had me taking my two young nieces home with me for most of the week (Been a LONG time since I've had to entertain little ones) but on a sad note, I've also been dealing with the death of a close friend of twenty years on Tuesday 1/31 and the funeral is Saturday 2/4 so I HOPE to at least get a short chapter out this weekend. Fingers crossed. See you at the bottom. **

_**BPOV**_

I couldn't believe that in just a few short hours I had gone from feeling normal to feeling like I'd been sucked into a black hole with nothing but turmoil surrounding me. First, Mom calling with her agenda for Phoenix, then the ordeal with Jake on campus, then my breakdown over said ordeal. Now I'm lying in bed next to the love of my life and all is good in the world, even if just for a little while.

Edward's immediate response had been expected. I hadn't kept him informed of the things that had been going on with myself, especially involving Jacob Black so when he admitted he was hurt, it broke my heart. He was my light and I'd almost snuffed that out with my stubborn need to handle things on my own. Never again.

It was almost noon and I'd been awake awhile just looking at Edward as he slept. How I'd managed to enter his world was beyond me, but I was so grateful and blessed. He was stunningly handsome with his strong cheek bones sprinkled with just a hint of stubble that enhanced his features, his unruly hair that was a spectrum of brown, gold and bronze, his muscular physique that showcases his long legs, broad chest and strong hands, but it was his eyes the color of the brightest emeralds that held me captive whenever he looked at me. Eyes that were gazing at me now in a way that made my heart skip a few beats.

"Good morning, beautiful. How'd you sleep?" he asked as he reached out and stroked my cheek.

"Like a baby. Did you sleep well?"

"I did but I always do when you're snuggled next to me, baby. Speaking of snuggling, you're entirely too far away right now. Come closer."

I giggled as I scooted over into his open arms. I breathed in his scent, letting it calm and wash over me as I relaxed in his embrace. It was a mixture that could never be replicated or bottled; all man, sexual prowess and just my Edward.

"Mmmm. Much better," Edward sighed as he seemed to be relishing in my closeness as well as he inhaled deeply.

"Yeah, much better," I replied content as I'd ever been in my life.

We stayed silent awhile as we just lay there, nothing sexual in our kisses and caresses. After a bit of time had passed Edward kissed my forehead before he sat up in the bed and spoke.

"As much as I'd love to lie here all day, I need coffee and something to eat. We need to get this trip planned too."

I still had a hard time grasping the idea of Edward and me going to Arizona together. He would get to see my home, well the only home I could remember. He'd get to meet Mom and Dad on this excursion, which I'd never really thought about until he mentioned it yesterday.

"I could use some caffeine. I'm still a little groggy from the meds and all the drama from yesterday."

Edward stiffened at my words but quickly covered his actions as he rolled out of bed and gave me a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes. He grabbed his sweats and pulled them on as well as his shirt from the night before.

"Well, I'm starving so I'll go make some breakfast and start the coffee. See you downstairs, okay?"

Edward looked at me briefly and then he left the room not waiting for a response. I sat up in the bed confused and tried gathering my thoughts. I wanted to know what was going on with Jake and with Edward's sudden change in demeanor. Everything had been fine after we made love last night and when we woke up this morning.

I went to the bathroom and ran a brush through the haystack on top of my head and lotioned my dry skin before I dressed back in my pajamas. I'd change clothes after I showered later. I brushed my teeth and threw my hair up in a ponytail before I went downstairs to find Edward standing over the stove.

"I hope scrambled eggs and bacon are alright," he said as I padded into the kitchen. He barely looked up at me but I could see the tenseness in his jaw and sense the heavy mood in the air.

I didn't answer as I sat down at the table. He was hot and cold today and I needed answers. When he didn't speak anymore I decided to try to get him to talk about what was bothering him.

"What's wrong, Edward?"

He kept stirring the eggs until they were done. He poured them into a bowl and started frying the bacon and bringing me a cup of coffee before he responded with a sigh.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I really just don't want to talk about it, okay?"

I don't know if it was the stress of everything finally hitting me or his nonchalant attitude, but I was getting upset with his short answers. Hell fire! I thought I was the one with the problems! I watched him methodically finish frying the bacon before I asked him again.

"No, I'm not dropping it, Edward. Talk to me. You've been distant ever since I mentioned anything about yesterday."

Edward sat the plate of bacon and bowl of eggs down on the table before he gripped the back of the chair. When he looked at me I was almost afraid and I let out a gasp at his intense expression.

"You really want to know? I'm so damn angry I want to kill that son of a bitch with my bare hands! He _touched _you against your will, Bella! He threatened your safety and frightened you so much that you went into a catatonic state! I _do_ _not_ want to talk about HIM!" he exclaimed and then his face contorted into worry. "I'm sorry that I'm not handling this shit very well but I don't want you to have to deal with my issues as well as your own."

I shrank back in my seat from his outburst. I know his anger wasn't directed toward me but it still scared me. Tears clouded my vision as I looked at him. I was tired of being weak but I couldn't help feeling hurt over his outburst.

"Edward, I know you're mad and I'm sorry that this all happened. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Jake sooner. Not talking about this doesn't make it go away though. This whole mess came from me _not talking about it. _I'm tired of being a victim. I love you, but I need to be able to talk to you without you lashing out," I choked out as the tears threatened to fall.

Edward's expression softened immensely as he knelt by my chair and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I needed him to be strong. I needed to draw strength from him, but he was as emotionally spent as I was.

"Baby, don't cry. Shit! You shouldn't be apologizing to me. I should be begging for your forgiveness because I can't seem to do anything right anymore. I'm sorry I let my anger get the best of me, again. I love you and none of this is directed toward you. I promise to try harder, okay? I just don't want you to hurt anymore."

"I get it, Edward. Really I do, but we need to do this together. Heal together. I can't face this alone."

"You won't be alone, baby. Never again. I'm sorry again for having my head up my ass. Are you alright now?" he asked staring deeply into my eyes. I knew his remorse was genuine. The eyes don't lie.

"Yes, but I want to know everything that's going on. I mean it. Don't hold anything back from me, okay? Right now, I'm starving. Let's eat and we'll talk more afterwards."

Edward nodded his head and kissed the tip of my nose. This was going to be hard for both of us but together we could do this. I knew it.

"I promise to let you know everything, baby. Let's eat and then we'll talk."

_**EPOV**_

Just the thought of Jacob Black made me see red. In the twenty-four hours that I'd even been aware of his presence in this world, I'd already thought of numerous, painful ways to end his pathetic existence. It was like a constant hum in the back of my brain and I didn't even know what the fucker looks like.

I hadn't meant to take my shit out on Bella. That was the last thing that she needed but when she casually mentioned her need for coffee being a result of her encounter, I lost it. I'd been in my content little bubble, drinking in her scent and then I just snapped. He shouldn't have that power over our lives but that was exactly what I was giving him right now. One thing was clear. I had to get control of myself. She needed me and I needed to be that rock for her; she'd told me as much. I couldn't fail her.

After we ate and loaded the dishwasher, I took Bella by the hand and led her to the living room. We needed to talk this out and there wasn't going to be a better time to get it all out in the clear. I sat down on the couch and Bella sat next to me, cuddling up to my side.

"Ready to talk?" I asked as I draped my arm around her shoulders.

Bella sighed and nodded her head, "Yeah, we need to talk this out so we can move forward. I know you're trying to protect me by keeping me out of the loop but I'm strong enough to handle this. I'm going to take my meds just like Carlisle asked me to do, I promise. Please, I need to know everything."

"Okay. I'll let you in on what I know. Jasper went to the campus police and filed a report. Since he was witness to part of the incident, he was able to give a description of what he saw and your reactions. They said they'd be on the lookout for _him _but they said with a campus the size of U Dub that it would be hard to do. I doubt if he's registered for any classes, Bella but they are looking into that avenue."

Bella nodded her head in agreement. Jake was a predator and the trail he'd leave by being a real student would make the search too easy. He most likely roams the campus looking for innocent women to target.

"Yeah, he's never mentioned what classes he takes. That makes sense now. So, where does that leave me? Am I not going to be able to take my classes?"

"Well, right now we are going to be proactive. He knows he's been seen now, so I'm sure he's well aware of the situation he's in. If he's not apprehended this weekend, then you will have someone with you outside of class at all times. Same with Rose and Alice. Emmett and Jasper are going to coordinate their schedules with yours and the girls this weekend. I won't risk you being alone with him on the loose."

"Okay. So, I'll have escorts to and from class. Don't I need to file a report myself?"

"Jasper said that you'd need to go in to campus security on Monday and fill out a formal report. Also, when I talked to your dad last night, he mentioned a friend of his at the Seattle PD. He's contacting him and I'm sure they'll want a statement as well. Baby, I'll be with you every step of the way. That's all I know, but I will promise you that we're going to hit this at every possible angle until the bastard is in custody. I _will_ _not_ let him hurt you again."

Bella laid her head on my chest and wrapped her arms around me. No better feeling in the world than having her safely in my arms.

"Thank you. I feel much better knowing what's going on, Edward."

"Good, baby. I feel better now, too. Now, let's talk about this trip."

Bella giggled like a schoolgirl and damn if that sound didn't go straight to my dick.

"I still can't believe you're going to Phoenix with me."

"Believe it, beautiful. There's nowhere I'd rather be. Have you made any concrete plans?" I asked, hoping she'd say no. I had my own plans.

"Uh, not really. I was planning on making the arrangements last night before … well, you know. I've got to get a plane ticket down there and rent a U Haul to load my things in and then I guess, drive it back to Forks. Charlie can bring us home afterwards."

She had this all planned out but thankfully she'd not gotten anything set up yet. As much as I'd love spending the 24 hour drive back with Bella, I'd rather it not be in a U Haul van. I'd already checked into the plans I was about to propose. Hopefully she'd be okay with the changes.

"Okay, well I have an alternate plan. I checked into a few things yesterday. Hear me out first, okay?" I asked.

"Okay, what's your plan?"

"We can fly out on Thursday evening and be in Phoenix by 10pm. I've contacted a moving company that can meet us at your house on Friday morning. They can have everything loaded and be back on the road in just a few hours. Then you can have more time to visit with your mom on Friday and Saturday before we fly out again on Saturday afternoon. There's an airport in Port Angeles that we can fly into and rent a car to Forks. If Charlie can be there to show the movers where to unload your belongings then you'll have Sunday to visit with him before we drive back Sunday night."

I let out a breath as I finished and noticed that Bella was looking up at me with her mouth gaping open like a guppy. Yeah, I'd been planning this trip for weeks, just waiting for a timetable so I could surprise her. I know money was a huge factor in her ideas but I had plenty and there was no one I'd rather spend it on than this beautiful creature in my arms. I wanted this to be a pleasant trip, not one that was daunting and tiring for her. Not now especially.

"Wow. You've been thinking about this awhile, haven't you?"

I leaned in for a quick kiss, my heart skipping at the look in her eyes.

"Yep. I want you to be able to relax and enjoy your time with your parents and I wanted more time to spend with you. So, what do you think?"

Bella sat up on the couch and I hated the loss of her warmth on my chest. She had a sad look on her face so I knew she was about to say something unpleasant. Was she going to argue this?

"Edward that all sounds great but, I don't have that kind of money. The plane ticket and the U Haul will be all I can afford right now. I don't want to take advantage of you by spending your money frivolously."

I turned to face her, taking her hands in mine. Needing to feel the connection.

"Baby, I know you feel like you need to pay your way, but money isn't an issue for me. Please understand that I have no one I'd rather spend a dime of it on but you. I never spend any of it and I want to do this for you, for us. Please allow me to splurge on my girl," I pleaded.

The truth of the matter was that my plans weren't going to cost as much as she was expecting since we wouldn't have the gas and food to buy on the trip back to Forks. I watched Bella as she mulled the idea over in her pretty head.

"Okay. We'll do it your way, but I'm paying for anything we eat or do in Phoenix and Forks or no deal," she said with her chin raised as she stuck her hand out to me to shake on it.

I was raised to always treat women with honor and respect. I would be very hard pressed to let her actually do any paying along the way, but I could live with this concession for now if it made the situation easier for her to handle.

"Oh, alright," I said in mock annoyance. "If that's what it's going to take to make you feel better about all of this, Bella, then it's a deal," I said as I shook her hand and pulled her closer to me. "We'll get online and make the arrangements today. Thank you, baby. You've made me one happy man."

I leaned in and placed my lips on hers. The natural sweetness of her mouth mingling with the taste of her coffee was intoxicating. What started out as a chaste kiss quickly became more heated as it tends to do when Bella and I are together. My hands had a mind of their own as they ran up her arms and into her hair, releasing the long waves from their elastic prison.

Bella moaned as I ran my fingers through the tresses and down her back as I lowered her onto the couch, trailing my kisses across her jaw and down her neck. I wanted to worship her; make love to her slowly as I had taken her quickly the night before. My cock strained against my sweats as my lips found purchase on the pulse point on her neck, sucking gently as not to mark her.

"Edward …" Bella said breathily as she wound her fingers through my hair, tugging softly.

I lowered my hands to the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head in one swift move, revealing her bare breasts to me. I laved one nipple with my tongue as my hand kneaded the other breast, tweaking the sensitive peak with my fingers before switching and repeating on the opposite breast.

Bella ran her hands down my back and under my shirt. Fingernails dragging up and down my flesh causing my body to react like gas to a flame.

"Baby, damn, that feels good," I grunted as I pulled my upper body away from hers enough to pull the shirt over my head.

I continued paying homage to her hardened peaks until she was writhing beneath me. Goosebumps covered her flesh as she whimpered softly. She was flushed pink with want and need. My body on fire as only she could do to me.

"Please … I need you," she whispered as I kissed my way back up to her luscious lips.

I didn't speak as I kissed her deeply with all the love and devotion I had for this precious blessing in my life. I kept my lips to hers as I pulled her into my arms and stood from the couch. I walked slowly up the stairs to my bedroom, even though my body screamed for me to run. Today was all about her needs. Her wants. I'd gladly give her anything she desired … all she had to do was ask.

I walked us to the bed and lowered her down onto the mattress. I crawled up beside her body and kissed her again.

"Tell me what you want, Bella."

Bella's breathing spiked as she looked at me with those deep, soulful eyes. Eyes that held the keys to my happiness. My future.

"Make love to me."

That I'd gladly do but I wanted her to vocalize her wants. I wanted to worship her body in the way that she enjoyed the most. I needed to hear the words.

"Oh, I'm going to make love to you, baby. Slowly, savoring every second of it. Talk to me, baby. Tell me exactly how and where you want me," I asked softly as I kissed down her neck to that sweet spot behind her ear that made her shiver.

"I … want … your mouth … oh, please …"

I smiled against her neck. This was going to be hard for my girl to do. I knew that. I didn't want to tease her but push her to letting me know her desires. Up until now I'd taken charge of our sex life but it was a fifty-fifty relationship. Give and take. If she needed me to coax her, then I'd do it and throw a little dirty talk in for good measure.

"Where do you want my mouth, baby?" I whispered seductively as I nipped at her shoulders causing her to moan out loud. "Here?" I asked as I kissed down her neck. "Maybe here on your fuck hot tits?" I asked as I licked across the mounds of her breasts.

Bella thread her fingers through my hair and began to push me lower down her body. I knew then what she wanted. Oh god, yes.

"I … want … you … down … there …" Bella stammered out as I flicked my tongue over the nearest taut peak.

I groaned at her verbal request for me to go down on her. I'll admit that the taste of her pure honey drove me wild but it was only second to the feeling of her tight pussy clenching around my cock when I was buried deep inside of her.

"You want me to suck on your sweet, hot pussy, Bella?" I rasped as I nipped and kissed her bare belly. "Are you wet for me already?"

"Yes! Oh, please …" Bella chanted several times as she rubbed her legs together.

I stood at the foot of the bed and pulled off her pajama pants revealing her bare slick mound to me. I'll admit that I was a little shocked when I saw that she didn't have any underwear on.

"No panties, baby? You are such a naughty girl."

Bella gasped and let her legs fall open for me as I snaked down over her body, sucking and kissing down her belly and across the top of her pelvis. Her pink clit was swollen and begging for my lips to wrap themselves around it. Her entrance was glistening with her essence.

"I love how your body reacts to me, baby. So wet and ready. I need a taste," I said as I licked down over her slit.

Bella whimpered as she bucked her hips at the contact. I spread her open with my fingers and flattened my tongue, dragging it slowly back up and over her bud causing her to tremble beneath me.

"Mmm. So good, baby. Your pussy tastes like heaven."

I nipped and sucked on her little love hood, drawing her closer to the edge and then backing off.

"More! Please!" Bella cried out as I blew a hot breath over the sensitive area.

"You want more, baby? Okay, I'm going to fuck your pussy with my tongue and fingers. I want you to come hard for me."

She was so close already. I knew this wouldn't take long. I kissed back down her feminine lips before plunging my tongue deep inside her channel, feeling her body react to the intrusion.

"Oh!"

I replaced my tongue with my fingers, probing and twisting until I found the rough patch of nerves deep inside her pussy that would send her into orbit. I reached up and toyed with her still erect nipples as I slid my fingers in and out of her wetness. I felt her walls begin to flutter so I sucked her clit into my mouth and felt her clench and come drenching my fingers as she climaxed with my name on her lips.

I gladly took in all the sweet honey that she offered me as I let her ride out her high. She was a sweaty, breathless mess beneath me as I kissed my way back up her shivering body. My dick was begging for attention but this was her show.

"You looked so good coming undone for me, beautiful. What do you want now?" I asked, praying that she was ready for my cock to be inside of her. I was going to explode soon.

Bella grabbed my head between her hands and pulled me in for a kiss, our tongues dancing and my cock throbbing as she moaned at the taste of herself on my lips. I was almost a basket case when she finally broke this kiss and spoke to me.

"I want your cock inside of me," Bella said quiet but confidently as she looked deeply into my eyes, almost causing me to shoot off a load in my pants. Yes, she has that effect on me and I love it.

"As you wish, baby," I said as I made quick work of losing the sweats and boxers letting my rigid cock spring free.

I crawled between her legs and placed myself at her entrance and slowly entered her tight chamber. I groaned aloud at the feeling of her walls holding me captive and I had to still myself and recite the alphabet backwards to keep from coming right there.

Slowly I began to move, making long, deep strokes. Her legs wrapped around my waist as I thrust into her causing the most erotic sounds to bubble from her throat. I pulled her body up to mine and with her legs around me, this allowed me deeper access. She began to meet my thrusts as she rode my cock from above me.

"So deep … oh, so good, Edward!" Bella said as she began to gain her rhythm.

"Fuck, baby. I'm not going to last. Too good," I grunted as she picked up tempo. I reached between us and rubbed on her clit causing her to cry out. "I'm so close. Come with me, love. Please."

I was lost to the erotica of watching Bella move over me. Her hair wild, her tits bouncing enticingly in my face, and the look of sheer bliss that she had just before she came apart.

"I'm so … oh … now … I'm coming!"

That was all it took as I released deeply inside of her with a growl as she clenched down on me, our breathing heavy and bodies slick with sweat as we collapsed around each other. It took me a minute to come back to earth. She was made for me and me for her. Like a puzzle that fit together perfectly.

"Edward … that was … perfect. I love you, so much."

"I love you too, baby and I couldn't agree more. Amazing doesn't even touch it."

We laid together awhile, just basking in our post orgasmic happiness. Tender touches and words passed between us as we allowed our minds and souls to heal each other. We were going to make it through this ordeal. I couldn't allow there to be any other option.

I allowed myself to think about the future. What I wouldn't give today to be able to slide a diamond band on her finger and show the world that she's mine forever. I could picture her in a white, flowing gown. Flowers in her long chestnut hair and her infectious smile gracing her beautiful face. Was it too soon? Probably by most accounts it was, but when you know that you're in it for life, then you know. I knew. Right now, I'd keep that revelation under wraps. I needed to do it right, which meant asking her mom and dad for permission first. Sounds like this trip just took a new twist. I'd have to face Charlie and the thought scared the shit out of me, but I'd do it if it meant forever with Bella. I'd do anything for her.

I felt Bella still beside me and the soft gasps of breath that she made when she drifted off to sleep. Suddenly I was exhausted as well. Now that we had our trip plans made, I could relax and set those up later tonight. I kissed Bella gently on the forehead and I pulled the covers over our still naked bodies. Isabella Marie Cullen. I liked the sound of that and I felt myself drift off into sleep.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**A/N: And there you have it. It's been a struggle to get this out to you guys so I hope I don't disappoint. A little fight, a little make up lemon and a trip planned to Phoenix. What about Edward's decision to talk to Renee and Charlie about asking Bella to marry him? Let me know what you think! Next up, Sunday at Esme and Carlisle's and then a trip to Phoenix. **


	27. Chapter 27

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 27

I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal pleasure.

**A/N: Just a quick reminder to my readers that voting for The Sunflower Awards is still open through February 19. It means the world to the writers and graphic artists to receive your votes. Lots of good fics and banners to choose from so please take a minute to vote. I will also be starting my O/S for FanAgainstJDiabetes this weekend and will be stepping out of my comfort zone a little so just keep your fingers crossed that I can pull it off. THANKS A MILLION TIMES OVER to all my readers and to twimom817 and kare831 for everything they do behind the scenes. I have the best cheerleaders. So, with that said, here we go…**

_**BPOV**_

Contentment. Such a simple yet complex word, yet the one that seemed to cover all my feelings at the moment. Never before had I ever felt so much love, peace and happiness as I felt when I was with Edward. He had accepted me, physical and mental flaws and all. I felt safe with him and hated the thought of going back to campus tonight but I was trying to keep those thoughts at bay. I couldn't stay here forever although I wish I could.

Saturday seemed to fly by, with Edward and me not leaving the apartment at all. Saturday had been filled with welcomed laziness as we arranged the trip to Phoenix and Forks. Edward had obviously put much thought into the plans he'd presented to me and all the pieces just fell into place. We had our tickets booked to and from Phoenix, the moving company was scheduled and we would have a rental car waiting for us in Port Angeles when we landed.

I called Mom after the plans were concrete and let her know our itinerary. She was giddy with excitement at seeing me again and also to be meeting the infamous Edward Cullen who had stolen her baby's heart. We would be staying at the house in Phoenix, as Mom had decided to sell the house with the remaining large furniture, so all the beds would stay. I wasn't sure of sleeping arrangements yet, but Edward insisted that we honor whatever my Mom decided. He didn't want to cause any problems but promised that he'd find a way to sneak in some alone time.

I still hadn't told her about Jake and my meltdown. She didn't need that added stress right now but I knew that I'd need to tell her soon. With Edward by my side, I'd do that face-to-face with her next weekend.

Charlie was his normal gruff self but I knew he was secretly anxious for our visit. I'll admit my trepidation over Dad and Edward meeting face-to-face, but I knew that it was only my irrational anxiety causing my doubts. Dad could spot a criminal from a mile away and Edward was definitely not a bad guy. I was praying for instant male bonding or whatever guys did.

Dad asked me how I was doing and I told him that I was much better and that I'd see him next weekend. Less is more with Charlie. When I was about to hang up, Edward asked to speak to Charlie so after I said my goodbye, I handed off the phone. I knew Edward was going to ask about any leads on Jacob Black but this time he didn't try to hide his conversation. I listened with rapt attention as Edward relayed what he'd found out; Charlie had spoken to his buddy, Jim Perry at the Seattle PD and they were opening an informal investigation pending collaboration with the campus police. I just wanted to forget the entire incident. Forget Jacob Black even existed. Go back to normal.

My skin still burned and itched from my flare-up. Edward lovingly applied the thick cream to my body each morning and night. I don't know what I'm going to do about treating my back when I go back to the dorms. I collapsed in the bed before ten o'clock that night and the last thing I remembered was Edward wrapping his arms around me and holding me close as I fell asleep against his bare chest.

Sunday morning I awoke early to warm, wet kisses along my neck. I wiggled back against Edward to give him better access and felt his very prominent erection against my rear.

"Good morning, baby," Edward crooned into my ear as he ground his hips into my backside slightly making my girly bits tingle.

"Good morning. What a way to wake up." I smiled as I pressed back into him, slightly dazed by his effect on me.

"Mmhmm, you'll never hear me complain about waking up with you in my arms, Bella," he said as he leaned in closer and our lips meet in a deep kiss, his hands dipping under the hem of the t-shirt I was sleeping in. "There are other benefits to our current situation that I'd like to pursue, beautiful."

I moaned as I melted into his caresses, powerless to stop the surge of emotions even if I'd wanted to. His hands drifting across my heated flesh as his mouth licked and nipped at the tender skin of my neck. My fingers gripped the comforter as if to prevent my body from floating into space. He eased his boxers off and then slowly slid my panties down my legs, never allowing his mouth to lose contact with my skin.

I don't know when the shift in my psyche had occurred. A few months ago, I was a shell of a person. I didn't love myself because of my skin and never dreamed anyone would be able to see past all my imperfections especially when I couldn't. I never dared to even imagine being this intimate with anyone and now this passion I felt seemed like an unquenchable fire burning down every wall I'd ever constructed around my fragile heart.

Edward's skilled hands and lips continued to tempt and tease my body. He was playing me like a well-tuned instrument as he tweaked at my nipples with one hand and massaging my clit in slow, lazy strokes with the other. I was inching closer … my body taut like a hunter's bow string.

"Please …" was all I could manage and Edward, knowing me so well, immediately knew my unspoken request.

He gently hitched my leg back over his body and slid inside me from behind in one fluid motion. Our bodies joined in the most intimate way. He groaned as he entered me fully and stilled.

"I love you, beautiful."

"I love you, too, Edward."

No other words were spoken as our bodies slid against each other. Our love for each other saying everything our mouths couldn't as we climbed the peak together. Hands and mouths worshiping each other as we drew closer to ecstasy … my mind, body and soul were his and his mine as we tumbled with silent whimpers over the edge of the heavens together.

Afterwards we lay still, with the only sounds in the air being our breathing. I drifted off to sleep as I dreamed of a long and happy future with the love of my life.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**EPOV**_

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That love is blind. I'd never thought that shit out before but whoever said those words knew what they were talking about. I held a sleeping Bella in my arms for awhile, basking in the warmth of our love and the peace of her contented slumber. We had more than our own fair share of troubles thrown at us, and at times I wasn't sure if either of us was strong enough to handle things, but I wouldn't change _one second_ if it meant I couldn't have her. She was beauty personified, no matter what her skin looked like. There was no measure of time that would be long enough with Bella.

I tucked the comforter around her and slid as quietly as I could from the bed. Bella shifted at the loss of contact, but didn't wake. I needed to do a few things before she woke. I had one week to make this work and I wanted things perfect, but getting her skin back under control was my first and foremost concern.

I dressed quickly as not to disturb Bella as she slept and put on my glasses. I'd been using my contacts more recently and my eyes needed a break. I headed downstairs and grabbed a cup of coffee. I made my way to my office and booted up the desktop computer. When I found the page I was looking for, I dialed my Dad's number.

"Good morning, Son. How are you this morning?" Carlisle said as he picked up the call.

"Great, Dad. Listen, I have a few things I want to talk over with you. Do you have a minute?"

"Of course I have time for you. What's on your mind?"

"Well, first off, I wanted to let you know that I'll be bringing Bella by later this afternoon. She's been doing fine and taking her Xanax as you prescribed, but I still would like for you to check her over. Her psoriasis is in a flare and she will need her Enbrel injection today and maybe a steroid injection as well to boost her system a little."

Dad sighed into the phone, not from annoyance but from concern as a doctor and a father.

"I was afraid that she'd flare from this ordeal and I agree with you about the steroid boost. I'll run to the office and have both injections here when you come and also a script for a topical steroid cream. Maybe we can get this under control before you two leave next weekend."

"I hope so, Dad. Thanks for doing this and for getting my schedules cleared two weekends in a row."

Dad chuckled.

"You're welcome. Just be prepared to live and breathe the hospital for awhile after you get back. I'm sure that they will get this time back from you."

I groaned but laughed back.

"I have no doubts on that front, Dad. I know it has to be done. Um, I have a question. Can you tell me how you and Mom made it through those years? How did Mom cope?"

I really needed to know. I mean, Mom and Dad were married when he was in his final years of med school and within a short time afterwards, they had three babies to care for. I couldn't imagine how hard that had to have been on their relationship.

Dad was silent for a few seconds before he spoke. I knew my Dad and he was weighing out his words carefully.

"It was hard as hell, Son. Brutal. There were lots of tears and short tempers but we loved each other and we loved you, Emmett and Alice. There was never a question that we'd make it through but there were days that life seemed impossible to balance. Why do you ask?"

Okay, Cullen. It's showtime.

"Can you get Mom on the other line? I'd like to talk to you both at the same time," I said as I stared at the image on the computer screen.

"Okay," Dad said as I heard the creak from his leather office chair. "She's in the kitchen. Give me a minute."

I heard Carlisle call out for my Mom to pick up the kitchen phone and then the telltale sound of the second phone picking up on the line.

"Good morning, sweetheart. We're both on the line now. What's so important that it couldn't wait until you see us this afternoon?" Mom asked as she joined the conversation.

"Everything is fine. I wanted to talk to you both now, before we come over."

"You have our attention, Son. Now, what's going on?"

I took a deep breath and focused on the beautiful, platinum diamond ring on the screen.

"After Bella and I get home from Phoenix, I'm going to ask her to marry me and I'd love to be able do it with your blessing."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**EsPOV**_

There was nothing that I wouldn't do for my children. God had blessed me three times over and they were the light in my world. Never had there been a time that I wouldn't have laid down my life and happiness, just to make their dreams come true.

Emmett and Alice had always been my happy-go-lucky children. Emmett was a typical boy, all rough and tumble but with a heart of gold. Alice was my baby and was spoiled rotten as she was my only daughter and she had the protection of her two older brothers but she could light up a room with her smile and infectious personality.

Then there was my oldest child, Edward.

Edward was born when Carlisle was just shy of finishing medical school. Carlisle and I had waited until he was almost through school before we decided to marry and we had been taking every precaution to hold off on having children until he was settled into his career. Imagine our surprise six months into the marriage, when I missed a couple of menstrual cycles and we were hit with the news that I was indeed pregnant.

Most couples have to deal with monetary issues while going through school, but with us that wasn't the case. We had money and the security that it brings but what we didn't have was much time together. My heart broke and Carlisle was torn at what to do. We weren't devastated over the pregnancy itself but that our child would be born at such a critical time in Carlisle's education. Time that he wouldn't be able to spend with me and the new baby that would have not been an issue if we'd only been able to wait one more year. It was a most difficult time but yet we endured and Edward Anthony Cullen was born into this crazy world on a beautiful June day. Little did we know that quickly our family of three would become a family of five.

Edward was such a sweet and passive child. Quiet but inquisitive and such a fast learner. By the time Emmett was born, Edward was almost eighteen months old. He was already speaking in full sentences and entertained himself with his toys and picture books. When little Alice came, he was three and showing interest in things like music and reading. I knew from early on that my Edward would be driven to succeed in life when he told his father and me that he wanted to be a doctor at the young age of ten.

School came so easy for Edward. By the time he was in high school, there wasn't a course that he didn't excel at, and if the truth be known, he probably could have taught most of them as well or better than his teachers. He was focused taking all the AP classes he could handle his senior year, as well as playing varsity baseball as he maintained his 4.0 GPA that would earn him valedictorian honors at graduation and scholarships to college. His senior year was when he met Tanya.

Mothers have a certain sixth sense about things. Tanya was beautiful by all the markers that society labels on young girls, but there was something about her that never set well with me. Of course, I would never voice my opinions to Edward. He was smart and he always seemed to make good decisions but he never brought her home much, stating that Tanya liked to be 'out and about'.

They seemed to be the All-American Couple … popular, good looks, brains, ambition. Everything was fine until they went off to college together. Edward was focused, taking a full course load plus any extra courses he could manage to speed his education along. He wanted to follow in his Dad's footsteps and wasn't upset that he didn't have much of a social life because Tanya "understood him" and "promised that she'd stand by his side". She seemingly sacrificed her time with him so he could fulfill his dreams, but in actuality she was spending her time with other men like a common whore.

When he walked in on her that night, it was like someone had snuffed out a candle. Gone was my sweet Edward. He was replaced by a robotic clone; one that still pursued his dreams with fervor but also one that strayed away from his family and friends, choosing to live only for his dream of becoming a doctor.

Emmett and Alice tried to include him in everything they did, hoping to bring their older brother back to us. They had both been blessed with supportive and stable significant others and I loved Rose and Jasper as if they were my own. Edward never wanted any part of their escapades though, making the excuse that he needed to study or that he was too tired.

It broke my heart to watch him close himself off but I was powerless to stop it although I encouraged Emmett and Alice to not give up on him. I certainly wasn't going to. Suddenly, out of left field things took a drastic turn.

Isabella Swan came into my son's life. Albeit unconventional in the way it happened, it was a God send. Slowly over the past several months I've watched my son come back to life, better than ever before and I wanted to shout my gratitude and happiness for the two of them from the rooftop. He was so in love that it was impossible to contain. And sweet, sweet Bella … so mistreated for years by idiots that had no clue what they were doing to her self esteem because she was an absolute angel to know. It didn't matter to Edward or any of us that she had the horrible disease that plagued her body. She needed him as much as he needed her. She had brought my son back to all of us and I would be forever grateful. Now I had just heard the most wonderful news come from his lips.

"Oh, Edward! I'm so happy for you! Of course you have my blessing!" I exclaimed as the tears of happiness rolled down my cheeks.

"Thanks, Mom. I, uh, was a little worried about your reaction. Dad?"

"I'm here, Son. Just letting the news settle. I don't want to be a downer. I know that you love her, but do you think you've known her long enough to take such a big step?"

"Oh, Carlisle …" I started before Edward interrupted.

"Its okay, Mom. I get what Dad's saying. Trust me, I've been rolling the pros and con's out in my head for days. But this is the thing. I do love her and by some miracle she loves me too. With all that she's been through, I can't stand the idea of losing her or living one day without her. I'm not talking about getting married tomorrow. I just … need her, you know? I want to be able to call her mine and let the world know how much I love her."

I listened quietly as Edward and Carlisle had their discussion. I knew that Carlisle was happy for Edward but just being a protective father. Edward was a man in love and I doubt anything that we could have said would've changed his mind.

"Well, Son. It seems you've made up your mind and I wouldn't dare try and quell your happiness. I'm proud of you and you have my blessing as well. What about her parents? Have you discussed this with them?" Carlisle asked.

Edward let out a sigh of relief and I could just picture him running his hands nervously through his hair.

"Thank you for your blessing, Dad. It means the world to me to know I have your support. As for your last question, I plan on speaking to Bella's parents alone while we are on the trip to get Bella's things next weekend. I want their blessings as well or to at least let them know what I'm planning." Edward replied with a nervous chuckle.

"Sweetheart, it will be fine. Just be open and honest with them. Let them get to know the real you. They'll love you. I just know it."

"I hope so, Mom. Listen, I'm gonna go. Bella is asleep but I'm sure she'll be up soon. We'll head that way this afternoon."

"Okay. Plan on staying for supper. I'm making lasagna."

Edward laughed, "No worries. I wouldn't miss your lasagna, especially with no Emmett around to hog it from the rest of us."

I laughed as I responded, "Then bring your appetite and that sweet girl of yours. We'll see you in a few hours."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**EPOV**_

I closed down the browser on the computer and shut the office door behind me as I went back upstairs to check on Bella. She'd been asleep for several hours, giving me plenty of time to call my parents and finish my school work. It was after noon and as much as I didn't want to send her back to that damn campus, I knew she'd need to settle back in so I wanted to head on over to my parent's house soon. I needed to shower and get ready.

I heard the water running before I hit the top of the steps and I groaned at the thought of a wet, naked Bella being just a few yards away. Big Ed had a Bel-dar it seemed and he was growing quickly, seeking her out.

The bathroom door wasn't shut all the way, so I slipped into the bathroom undetected. Behind the glass doors of the shower, I could make out the curve of her hips and the swells of her breasts. I stripped out of my clothes and walked closer. Bella was humming and I could see her hands working the lather in her hair. I slid the door open ever so slowly and stepped into the stall.

"Need some help?" I asked coyly and was greeted by a yelp as she froze in place, shampoo suds streaking down her face.

I wrapped my arms around her waist to prevent her from stumbling as she franticly rinsed her hair so she could open her eyes. I laughed as she finally got the soap out and cracked an eye open.

"I think I can manage," she replied smartly as she smirked at me.

"Well, damn. I'll just leave you to it then," I said in mock exasperation as I let go of her and made a move to step out before she reached for my hand.

"Um, you can wash my back if you want."

I reached for the body wash and sponge as Bella turned her back to me. Her skin had improved in the past few days but it still needed some extra oomph to wrestle it back into submission.

We shared subtle touches as I lovingly washed her body and she insisted on returning the favor and washing mine. My cock was aching from being in such close contact with Bella as she moved the sponge over my lower abdomen. I wanted to have her one more time before I lost her to school and work for the next week.

I bent down and crushed my lips to hers. The sponge falling to the floor as she draped her arms around me, pulling me closer. I reached around her waist and lifted her up, until our chests were touching. Her breasts pressed against my chest as she wrapped her legs around my body as I aligned my cock with her warm pussy.

"Fuck, baby. I need you so bad," I moaned as I slid into her heat.

"Oh …your …cock feels so good!" Bella replied as I began to set a steady pace. Her head thrown back allowing me access to kiss down her neck and across her collar bones.

I was turned on even more when Bella let go of her inhibitions and spoke her mind. I pulled my head away from her neck and took in her erotic beauty. Her breasts bounced enticingly in my face as she began to meet my thrusts. I leaned in and sucked one of the pink buds into my mouth causing Bella to cry out. I grazed my teeth over the sensitive peak and then paid homage to the other breast as Bella began to moan my name above me.

"Shit, baby. You are too fucking hot when you moan my name like that. Your sweet pussy was made for my cock. Damn."

I began to thrust harder as I felt Bella's walls begin to flutter around me. She buried her head in my neck as she panted and whimpered. I was close to exploding but I was holding on with all I had. I wasn't going to stop until she was satisfied and she was just a few strokes from coming undone.

"Look at me, Bella. You're so fucking perfect when you come. I need to see your face," I ordered as I reached between us and flicked my fingers against her swollen clit.

Bella raised her face to mine. Her cheeks were flushed from the heat of the shower and her impending climax. Her eyes glazed over, as I'm sure mine were as well, from love and lust and raw sexual energy. I pressed my thumb down firmly over her sweet spot as I felt the surge build in my gut, spiraling out of control like a runaway train.

"Come for me, baby. I can't hold on much longer," I plead, my thrusts faltering and as in an answered prayer, Bella shouted my name as her tight pussy clenched around my dick.

"AH! Fuck!" I shouted as my cock pulsed and filled her deeply. I had to will my legs to keep us upright.

We rode out or climaxes and my forehead fell forward to touch hers as our bodies stilled and our breathing settled. I placed a kiss on her lips and slid her down until she could stand. I reached down and picked up the body wash, pouring it into my hands. I washed the aftermath of our lovemaking away from our bodies and turned off the spray.

Bella grabbed her towel and dried her hair with it before wrapping her body. I followed suit and led her by the hand out into the bedroom.

"I talked to Mom and Dad earlier. They're fixing us dinner so I guess we need to get you packed and head that way shortly."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I saw the slight change in Bella's face. She didn't want to go back to campus and I sure as hell didn't want to send her there. I didn't have a better solution though. The guys would see that she was never left alone and the asshole that had caused this would be found. I just hoped that he was found soon. I wrapped my arms around her and she looked up to meet my eyes showing me her sadness.

"I know I have to go back, Edward but I wish I didn't have to. I like being here with you. I feel … safe."

Her words twisted in my stomach.

"Baby, I wish I could make this all go away. I would love nothing more than to be able to keep you here with me but I promise that you'll be safe. That bastard will not touch a hair on your pretty head again."

My mind locked in on my plans. Soon I'd never have to send her away and I prayed to God that nothing else happened to her before I could bring her home, _to_ _our_ _home_ permanently.

"I know, but it doesn't make me miss you any less," Bella replied as she grinned a little. "I love you, ya know."

"I love you too, beautiful girl and you know I'll sure as hell be missing you too. We'll just have to be more creative when we talk," I said as I wiggled my eyebrows at her and she rewarded me with that precious blush and a whack on the chest.

"Edward Anthony Cullen! You are so bad!"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

After we packed up what Bella wanted to take back with her, we loaded the Volvo and headed to my parent's house. It was a nice clear fall afternoon and I hated that we'd stayed holed up in the apartment all weekend and missed the pretty weather but we'd had time to heal from the encounter with Jake.

Mom greeted us at the door and quickly ushered Bella off to the kitchen for "girl time". I could hear her peals of laughter every few minutes and I curiously wondered what my Mom was saying that could be so funny. Dad must have read my expression as he shook his head at me.

"You probably don't want to know, Edward. Ever since you called us earlier, your mother has been on Cloud Nine. Bella is probably hearing every embarrassing story about you that your mom knows."

I groaned inwardly at the thought but happy that Bella felt comfortable enough to spend this time with Mom.

"You're probably right," I chuckled and Dad laughed as well.

Mom's dinner was excellent. I could see the twinkle in my Mom's eyes every time she looked at Bella or me. I knew that my Mom had worried over me the past few years. Now that she saw my happiness, I knew she felt relief that her son had returned.

After dinner, Dad asked to see Bella in his office. I didn't want to smother her told her that I'd be close by if she needed me. Bella thanked me but said that she'd be fine alone and I watched her and Carlisle walk out of sight.

I didn't want to sit around and wait for her so I went to the kitchen and helped Mom clean up. When we had the dishes loaded in the dishwasher and Mom had scooped out a huge portion of lasagna for me to take home, we sat down at the bar. Mom smiled as she began to talk.

"You're good for each other, Edward. You both need something from the other that no one else can provide. The love you share is deep and true, Son. It's truly beautiful to watch."

My heart soared at her words. Until now, I'd never thought of us as more than "Bella and Edward". But to know that others could see our love for each other brought an instant smile to my face.

"I do love her, Mom. More than I ever imagined possible. I can't see any future that doesn't involve her in my life."

Mom placed a kiss on my cheek and ruffled my hair like she did when I was a little boy.

"Everything is going to be okay. You just have to rely on your love for each other to pull you through."

We shared small talk until I heard Dad's office door close and he and Bella joined us in the kitchen. Mom, knowing that the conversation may not be one that Bella wished to share, excused herself from the room but said for us to make sure to find her before we left.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, hoping Bella or Dad answered.

Dad looked to Bella and she nodded her head for him to proceed.

"Bella is doing exceptionally better than when I saw her last week. Her vitals are good and her anxiety is under control with the Xanax. She can taper down to one a day this week as she feels she can. I've given her a tube of steroid ointment to use on her psoriasis until she feels it's better under control and I gave her a steroid injection to boost her healing. She's had her Enbrel so she should be good until she gets back from your trip."

I nodded in agreement and Bella gave me a smile. I was so proud of her and how she'd come out so much stronger when so many would have crumbled from the stress. I looked over at the clock on the microwave and saw that it was nearing eight. As bad as it felt like a kick in the testicles, I knew it was time to get Bella back to the dorms.

"I guess we better go, Edward," Bella said as she stood from her seat.

"Yeah, it's getting late. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'm going to be," she replied sadly.

Dad called for Mom and they walked us out to the car. Mom gave me a hug and told me that she loved me and then turned to Bella.

"Bella, I'm so glad that you're okay. You've been such a blessing to get to know. Please know that you can call on me anytime you need to talk. You're part of this family now and we take care of our family, sweetie. I'll call Alice and let her know that you are on your way."

Bella threw her arms around my mother and they shared a few whispered words before she pulled away and my Mom placed a light kiss on her cheek. Bella thanked her again before she turned and linked her hand in mine.

"Thank you for everything. I'll see you soon."

I said my goodbye's and let Bella into the car. I started the engine and we drove in relative silence to Pattison. When we pulled in the parking lot, I parked and we sat there for several seconds.

"God, this sucks!" I growled as I gripped the steering wheel.

"I know. It's not going to get any easier, Edward."

I leaned in and kissed her sweet lips, knowing that it would likely be several long days and nights before I'd see her again. I couldn't even go to the police with her tomorrow like I'd hoped because I'd be at school. I'd missed too much already and didn't want to press my luck. When I broke the kiss, I saw Emmett and Jasper leaving the dorm entrance and I knew our time was up. I looked down and deep into those chocolate eyes.

"I love you, Isabella Swan. Take care of my heart. I'm leaving it with you."

"I love you, Edward Cullen. Forever."

I kissed her once more before I felt the car begin to rock. Damn Emmett. I opened my door and was met by my brother's shit eating grin as he hopped up off the trunk of the car.

"What the fuck, Em?"

Emmett snorted and Jasper tried to hide his laugh as a cough.

"Such vulgar language, bro. I'm shocked! I'm sure you two have had a most educational weekend teaching Bella Boo about anatomy and biology and all that other doctor shit, but I was saving you and Bella from trying to put tab A into slot B in the dorm parking lot."

I snorted, thankful that Bella was still in the car.

"Suck my dick, Emmett," I said under my breath as I walked around the car to let Bella out.

"Nah, I'll pass, Eddie but thanks for thinking of me," Emmett replied with a cocky grin and waggling eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes and Jasper nodded to me as I opened Bella's door. Bella got out and smiled at the guys.

"Hey. You didn't have to come out here to walk me in, guys."

I hit the trunk latch on my keychain and Emmett grabbed Bella's bags as Jasper stepped up to Bella's side. Emmett walked back to the dorm and disappeared behind the doors.

"You'd better get used to the security detail, little darlin'. Em and I will be your shadow until the authorities can get that asshole caught. They've beefed up the security at the dorm too. There's someone manning the front desk around the clock and no one enters or leaves without checking in or out. Non-students cannot go past the lobby."

Well, fuck me running. I can't even walk my girl in, but I was sure as hell glad that no one lese could come in the dorm without checking in first. I could deal with the inconvinience if it meant Bella, Rose and Alice were safe.

Bella sighed but nodded her head in understanding. "I know, Jasper. It just sucks, you know."

"I know hon. Now, say goodnight to lover boy here and let's get you inside," Jasper said softly as he walked several yards away to give us some privacy.

I pulled her into a tight hug and she molded herself into my chest.

"Be strong and for god sakes, be safe, Bella. Text me before you go to bed and call me as much as you can this week. I'll do the same."

"Okay. Bye, Edward."

I kissed her once more and walked her to a patient Jasper.

"Thanks, man. For everything. Let me know if you hear anything and please take care of my girl."

"I will, Edward. Try to not worry."

Jasper wrapped an arm over Bella's shoulders and walked her to the door. She turned and waved once more before the door shut behind her. My heart felt like it had been ripped from its spot in my chest.

I walked back to the Volvo and got in. I revved the motor before I peeled out of the lot, leaving my heart and soul behind. I said a silent prayer to God to keep her safe and hoped that He'd hear my plea.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**A/N: Okay … we didn't make it to Phoenix … again. Esme's POV was spontaneous and it took too much time and space to be able to add the trip in as well. I _promise_ the next chapter will get these kids to Arizona! For those of you wondering, Edward is 24, Emmett is 22 and Alice and Bella are both 21. Thank you, Karen for reminding me! Please let me know how I'm doing so far. I love getting your reviews! See you all next week and Happy Reading! **


	28. Chapter 28

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 28

I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment.

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I know FFN has been hard to use the past week or so. Please know I've read and tried to respond to each and every one of them and if I've missed you, I'm terribly sorry. You guys do rock my world! I need to come up with better words to thank my favorite ladies, kare831 and twimom817 for all they do for me. Its amazing the time they take away from their own projects to help me out with LDTW. Hope you enjoy the ride! See you at the end of the chapter. **

_**BPOV**_

I had to smile and bear the ache in my chest as I turned and watched Edward whip out of the parking lot. My rational side knew that I had to let him go. He had a life and school, and didn't need to have to baby sit me, but the emotional side of myself felt shaken and empty. I was willing rationality to win the battle.

Jasper and I checked in with the RA at the desk and went to the elevator.

"He cares a great deal for you," Jasper said as he smiled down at me. "And you're good for him. I know all of this is stressful, but we're going to see you through this. I'll be with you tomorrow when you talk to the police, okay?"

I smiled warmly back at him. I knew Edward was upset that he'd not be there for me, but I insisted that he focus on his schooling and work so we could enjoy the upcoming weekend together.

"Thanks Jasper. I know everything is going to be okay. I just miss him when we are apart. It's silly, I know," I said as I tried to clear my mind.

Jasper shook his head and spoke matter-of-factly as we stepped into the elevator. "Not silly at all, hon. Love will do that to a person."

I mused silently at his revelation as I felt the blush tint my cheeks. Jasper just smiled as he knocked on the door and ushered me in as soon as it was unlocked.

"Now, you guys stay put tonight unless you call Em or myself, okay?" he said as he made eye contact with Rose, Alice and me.

"We're in for the night. No worries," Rose replied and after a quick goodnight kiss for Alice, Jasper left us alone.

Rose and Alice both hugged me and told me how sorry they were about what had happened. I thanked them both for everything they did for me after Jake's assault and excused myself to shower and get ready for bed. Luckily I'd finished my homework at Edward's apartment so I could relax.

After my shower and nightly routine was complete, I settled in bed and texted Edward goodnight. I was exhausted and sleep thankfully came easily.

Monday morning came and began as normal. Edward called me to make sure I was okay and made me promise to call him as soon as I'd made my statement. I made sure to take my Xanax before I left and Alice and Rose walked me to class, with the instruction that Jasper would be meeting me afterwards to take me to the campus police.

When class dismissed just before noon I felt the overwhelming urge to vomit or run- maybe both. I was suddenly very nervous about my meeting with the police. What if they saw me as the instigator in all of this and not a victim? I'd watched enough television to see that those things happened all of the time … a scorned love interest making false accusation as to hurt to other person with nothing being the truth. Even knowing what truly had happened couldn't ease my weary mind. I knew Jasper would be by my side, and I was thankful for his willingness, but my heart wished for Edward's calming touch to settle my nerves. I couldn't ask that of him though. I'd caused enough problems already. I was tired of being the weak, needy, fragile girlfriend.

Jasper was patiently waiting for me at the doorway as I exited the lecture hall. His calm nature and easygoing smile seemingly eased my tensions somewhat.

"Are you ready, Bella?"

I took a deep breath and nodded my head.

"As ready as I'm going to be, Jasper. Let's get this over with."

He opened the door to the outside for me, like a good Southern gentleman and we started across the campus. I was painfully aware of my surroundings although I knew that Jacob would be a fool to try to approach me in public again. Jasper stayed duly by my side as we neared closer to our destination. My stomach rolled and I swallowed back the bile in my throat as the campus police department came into view. Jasper must have sensed my apprehension as we stopped short of the entrance.

"Bella, breathe. You've done nothing wrong. You're strong. They're just going to ask a few questions and take your statement. I'll be right beside you the entire time, unless you ask me to leave. I promised Edward that we'd take care of you when he wasn't around and I aim to honor that, okay?"

I'd always felt like it was my duty to bear the world on my shoulders. I'd learned in a short time that I had missed out on so much in my life trying to tackle everything on my own. Now I was blessed with true friends and the love of Edward to see me through whatever life threw at me.

"Thank you, Jasper. I needed that."

"Yes, thank you. I appreciate everything, man. I can take it from here and I'll see her to her next class," a strong, smooth voice spoke from behind me.

Edward! He was here! I turned sharply and was met by the strong but loving embrace that I'd been craving. Jasper chuckled at my reaction and started back down the walk.

"I wasn't sure if you'd make it, Edward, so I didn't mention it to Bella. I'll go check on Alice, she's been a nervous wreck about Bella all day. Em will meet Bella and see her back to the dorms after her next class is over. I'll talk to you guys later tonight. I want to know how everything goes."

Jasper patted my back once more walked away before I reluctantly pulled away from Edward's embrace. He was here and I was so happy but he was letting something slide by in order to be here with me. I felt guilt at once again making waves in his life.

"Edward. How are you here? What about class? Work? I can't have you sacrificing …"

Edward met my protests with a deep kiss. His lips taking mine hostage as his bright green eyes stared at me deeply behind his black rimmed glasses, as if I was a treasured piece of art. I melted into his arms and couldn't help the sigh of happiness or the smile that spread across my face at his presence.

"Hush, now. I'm not missing anything but I'm where I need to be, with you. It's my lunch hour between class and work. I wasn't sure if I'd get out of class in time but the lectures were thankfully short this morning. My first appointment isn't until 1:30. I wanted to be here for you because you're my life now and I love you, Isabella Swan. I couldn't bear the thought of you having to do this without me."

I hugged him closer and thanked God above for bringing him into my life.

"Thank you, Edward. I love you too and I needed you today and as always you're here."

Edward placed a long kiss on top of my head.

"No need to thank me, beautiful. It's my job and pleasure. Now, let's go get this over with so I can take my girl to lunch."

I entered the campus precinct with Edward protectively by my side. I gave my name to the receptionist and she had us take a seat, assuring me that the officer would be out to take me for my statement shortly. Edward held my hand and lovingly traced his thumb over my knuckles, calming me as we waited. Just a few minutes later the door opened to my left and we were approached by a man in his late forties with a kind face and an outstretched hand. He shook my hand gently as he spoke.

"Good afternoon. Sorry to keep you waiting, Miss Swan. My name is Detective Jim Perry with the Seattle Special Victims Unit. I'm heading the investigation. Your father is a good friend of mine from way back in the academy. I know we've never met but I feel like I've known you for years. Charlie speaks very highly of his only daughter. I promise you now that I'll do whatever it takes to make this as painless and quick as possible," Detective Perry said as he turned his attention to Edward. "I assume this gentleman is the boyfriend that Charlie spoke of over the phone?"

"Yes, sir. I'm Edward Cullen. It's a pleasure to meet you," Edward said as the men exchanged a brief handshake. "I hope this doesn't interfere with procedure but with Bella's permission, I'd like to be with her when she makes her statement."

Both men looked for my reaction and I quickly nodded in agreement. I wanted Edward by my side. I needed him like a fish needs water.

"Of course. Since its okay with her, I have no problems with that at all. May I call you Bella?" Detective Perry asked as he looked to me with a smile.

"Yes, Bella's fine," I replied.

"Very good. Now, if you two will follow me, we'll get this show on the road."

We followed Detective Perry down a narrow hallway and he ushered us into a small, unadorned room with a table and a few rolling chairs. He stationed himself across the table that had several papers and file folders in view. Edward pulled out my chair and sat down beside me, taking my hand in his. I let the spark I felt from the connection ground me.

"Do you want anything to drink? The coffee here is like motor oil but there is a drink machine in the break room," Detective Perry asked as he opened the file.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you. I just want to get this over with," I replied as Edward squeezed my hand gently.

"I understand. Now, I've looked over the statement taken last week from Jasper Hale. He was a witness to part of the assault that occurred last Thursday. He was very descriptive of the encounter but I'd like to hear it from your perspective. Bella, I know this may be difficult for you, but I need to know everything that's occurred since the beginning. Can you tell me how you became acquainted with Jacob Black?"

Edward squeezed my now sweaty hand comfortingly in encouragement. I'd told Edward most of the story but it didn't make it any easier for me to replay. I swallowed nervously as I began my tale.

"We met a few months ago on campus. I ran into him, literally and he caught me from falling to the ground. He seemed nice and I didn't have a lot of friends here so I was happy to make a new one."

Detective Perry wrote in the file as I spoke, nodding for me to continue.

"Can you give me a physical description of Mr. Black?"

"Um, he's tall and um, broad with a dark complexion, maybe Native American. He has long black hair and that he wears away from his face. Dark eyes too."

"Okay, continue please. What happened that day?"

"Well, he uh, introduced himself and said I was um, pretty and that he'd never seen me on campus before. I told him I had to go and I did. I didn't tell anyone what had happened. It seemed trivial. A few days later he found me when I was eating lunch. I apologized for being short with him when he'd kept me from falling and then I went to class. I went out late to the library a week or so later and Jacob saw me and walked me to the door, saying that it wasn't safe for a girl like me to be out at dusk alone."

I stopped, feeling the anxiety grip at my heart and stomach. I knew the next words I'd say were going to be the hardest. I held on to Edward's hand tightly for my own sake and to keep him from bolting out the door. I was afraid that this would all come crashing down on us and he'd change his mind about me. About _us_.

"Can you tell me what transpired that night, Bella?" Detective Perry implored as he looked up at me to continue.

I took a shaky breath as the night replayed in my mind in frames.

"Um, well, he walked me to the library and when I turned to go in he asked me to lunch. I declined, of course, saying that I had a boyfriend."

Edward tensed as I spoke and I heard a quiet growl emit from his chest as Detective Perry spoke.

"How'd he respond to your answer?"

"Um, he laughed and said that maybe my boyfriend needed a little competition. Then he touched my cheek before he walked away," I said, my body shivering at the thought of _his_ hands on me.

"So, he just left without incident that night," Detective Perry stated as he looked at me for more information.

"He touched her without permission," Edward inserted with an underlying anger that I could see in his tense jaw but his touch remained gentle and soothing as he rubbed my hand with his.

Detective Perry faced Edward and me with professionalism and sympathy.

"Yes, he did. I assure you that I'm taking all the information seriously. No man or woman should ever be touched without consent, no matter the intention. Please continue. When did you encounter Mr. Black again, Bella?"

"Well the um, thing last week was the last time I've seen him. He found me at lunch again. He was more persistent that day. Accused me of hiding from him and then he made inappropriate comments about my relationship with Edward. Like he knew about us, um, private stuff. He said I was just a passing phase for Edward and that I needed a real man. I felt uneasy and I texted my friend Alice and tried to be strong and tell him to leave me alone. That's when he became angry and aggressive. He … grabbed my arm and told me he'd be watching me. That's when Jasper and Alice came. Alice took me away from the situation as Jasper had words with Jake. I fell apart that night but I'm better now. That's everything," I gushed as I briefly felt sickened by the incident again. I could feel the ghost of his large hand gripping mine, his raged expression penetrating me as I told him to leave me alone.

Tears threatened to fall from my eyes as I tried to bring myself back to the present. I couldn't help feeling that Edward would cut his losses and run away at any time. I hated that I had such a problem viewing myself as he did but I was trying to be stronger. He deserved that from me. I hadn't been raped or hurt badly. When I'd spoken the words today, everything seemed so stupid and petty. I had fallen apart over a couple of touches and words.

Detective Perry wrote furiously on his notepad. We sat in collective silence until he stopped and set his pen down on the table. He looked to me and spoke with kindness but authority.

"First, let me tell you that I'm sorry that you've had to endure such a frightening encounter in your young life. Your statement has been very forthcoming, Bella. I know it doesn't seem like it to you, but you've helped greatly with our investigation by filling in the gaps and giving more clarity to Mr. Black's state of mind. We are dealing with a predator …a wolf in human clothes. I believe that you are a very strong young woman because in my experience with this type of situation, things have been taken to a much more tragic level before the victim comes forward. Last year, we had several attacks here on campus and the assailant was never captured. No one came forward with anything that would help us find or identify the attacker. Know this. There is nothing trivial about what has happened, Bella. It doesn't take a brutal physical accosting or sexual attack to make your story any less serious. You seem to have an excellent support team but I want to let you know that there is counseling available if you need it."

"Um, thank you but I'm fine. Edward and my friends have been there for me but I'll keep your offer in mind."

Edward flexed his arm as he let go of my hand. I felt the loss of connection instantly.

"So, where does this leave Bella? She can't be safe here until he's caught. In fact, no female is safe. Is she forced to have 24-7 security around her as she goes to and from classes and life in general? I know security is heightened but for how long?" Edward asked pointedly.

"I understand your concerns, Mr. Cullen and I wish I had a concrete answer. In short, due to the recent events, security on campus will remain at code red until Mr. Black is found. We know he's isn't an actual student on campus, as we have no records of him ever taking a class. We do have a few leads that I'm not privy to discuss at this time, but know we are doing everything to end this quickly and without further incident. I understand from Mr. Hale's statement that he and your brother will be escorting Bella to and from classes. I believe this is a wise move and short of Bella stepping away from her education, what I've just spoken of is the best I can offer right now. There just isn't the manpower to provide anything else. I'm sorry."

Edward ran his hands through his hair and then grabbed my hand back in his.

"Is there anything else you need from me today, Detective?" I asked, hoping that we were through.

"Yes, just one more thing. Please fill out the bottom half of this paper and sign and date the bottom. I will be in contact with you and Chief Swan when I have more information. It has been a pleasure to meet you, Bella, although I wish it'd been under happier circumstances."

He slid the form across the table at me and I quickly filled out the required information. When I was done, I handed him the paper and stood from my seat.

"Thank you, Detective. I hope to hear from you soon."

"I hope so too, Bella. Have a pleasant afternoon. You as well, Mr. Cullen."

Edward shook the detective's hand once more before he escorted us back to the lobby.

"Edward, are you okay?" I asked when we were away from prying ears and eyes.

"I will be as soon as this bastard is caught but don't worry about me. Come on. We still have time to eat. Lead the way, beautiful."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**EPOV**_

Bella and I enjoyed a quick lunch at a small café just off campus. I was thankful that her statement to the police was behind us, and I was trying to reign in my anger as to not upset Bella any further. None of it was directed at her, but just the thought of that bastard's hands on my angel made me sick and angry enough to do extreme physical harm. After we ate, I walked hand in hand with Bella to her next class and gave her a soft kiss on those perfect lips before reluctantly letting her go.

"Baby, I hate to go but you have class and I have fifteen minutes to get to work. I love you. Call me tonight."

"Thanks for being with me today, Edward. I hate to see you leave, but I love you and will talk to you later."

I made it to the clinic in record time and luckily the rest of the day went by quickly. Bella called me as I got home that night and we talked until we were both practically asleep. I had to make it till Thursday evening without her and it was going to be hard as hell. I'd gotten used to sleeping with her in my arms and that was a feeling that didn't go away no matter how many cold showers I took.

The week went by in a flash of school, work and late night talks with Bella by phone. She seemed to be recovering well from the shit with Black and had no problems that week on campus. It was no secret that I was counting down the minutes to our trip to Phoenix.

Thursday evening I picked Bella up from the dorms after a quick trip to pick up a special item I needed for the trip and we barely made it to our flight in time because we got caught up in a heavy petting session in the Volvo when we parked at the airport. It seemed my girl had missed me as much as I'd missed her. Big Ed was singing her praises until the time caught up with us.

I'd arranged for first class tickets. I couldn't help it. I knew that Bella had likely flown coach to Seattle and the thought of sharing her with all those people on the flight just didn't set well with me. After the plane took off and we were released from our restraints, I pulled up the arm rest between us and lifted her into my lap. She looked around shyly but I had secured the most private seating. No one could see us.

"Edward, I wish you hadn't spent so much on the tickets. We could have flown on the red eye flight in coach and saved money."

I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Bella, please stop. I know that my spending money on you makes you uncomfortable, but just indulge me in this, okay? I want you to be comfortable and I wanted you to myself. I'm not going to apologize for that and I did it for other reasons as well. I was thinking about joining the Mile High Club. That would be hard to do in coach, beautiful."

Bella looked at me with a confused expression.

"What's the Mile High Club?"

I laughed at her innocence.

"Hmm. Well, it's named for when you get intimate on the plane during the flight," I said with a smirk and a waggle of my eyebrows. "They even sell lapel pins online to commemorate the occasion."

It took a second for the words to sink into Bella's brain. I knew the second it registered as her eyes bugged out and she blushed an enticing shade of pink.

"You mean, sex … here? On the plane?" she asked in a strangled whisper.

I leaned in and kissed her deeply.

"Mmmhmm. In the restroom. The ones in first class are much larger. Not right now, though. We may try that on the flight home, but there is plenty we can do here in the seats, baby. I can't keep my hands off of you much longer," I said huskily as I ran my hands up the back of her shirt and rubbed the bare skin on her lower back.

"Here? Won't someone see or hear us?" Bella asked quietly as she looked around us again.

"Grab the blanket from the stowaway compartment and stay on my lap. You have to keep very quiet. Do you think you can do that?"

Bella nodded and draped the blanket across our laps. I waited for the stewardess to make her final walk by before I turned off the light to our seats so we wouldn't be bothered. The thought of bringing Bella to climax on the plane had my dick as hard as marble. I wanted to see her face as I touched and teased her body and the thrill of doing it almost publicly was a major turn on.

I shifted our bodies into a comfortable position and thanked the heavens above that Bella had chosen to wear a pair of drawstring sweatpants and a loose hoodie on the trip. I reclined the seat enough to hide us behind the empty seats in front of us before I began to move my hands under her shirt. Slowly making my way up to her pert breasts.

My mouth found hers in the semi darkness. Our lips and tongues meshing as we kissed. I pulled the satin and lace bra down over her breasts and slowly teased each nipple until they were erect and Bella stifled a moan as I quickly covered my mouth over hers. I continued my ministrations on her breasts until she was panting above me.

"I fucking love your breasts, baby. They were made for me."

Bella bit her lip to keep from moaning and I smiled at her body's reaction to mine. Perfection.

I slid my hand down her flat belly and under the band of her pants until I was cupping her lace clad pussy in my open hand. I could feel the heat radiating from her most sensuous area and the dampness that was already prevalent in the thin crotch of her panties.

"So wet for me already, baby," I whispered as I ran my fingers under the lace and began making slow circles over her clit. "You like it when I touch you here?"

Bella arched her back at the contact and I took her mouth to mine again. Bella was normally loud during sex and I knew I'd have to work hard to keep her quiet.

I teased her love button for several minutes, inching her closer to her climax before I plunged two fingers into her tightness.

"Ahhhh," Bella sighed quietly as I began to pump and twist my fingers, feeling her stiffen as I found the sweet spot that made her go crazy.

"Shhhh, you've got to be quiet, baby. I can tell you like it. Your pussy is so slick and so hot. I wish I could have a taste of that sweetness or bury my cock deep inside of your heat," I whispered in her ear as I worked my fingers faster and rubbed my thumb over her clit. "I know you're close, beautiful. Let go. Come for me."

Bella gasped and whimpered above me. I pulled her in for a deep kiss as I felt her channel tighten and flutter around my fingers, drenching my hand with her essence. I worked her down from her climax slowly until she was a sweating mess slouched across my lap.

I held her close and kissed her gently. God, I loved this woman.

"That was hot as hell, Bella," I whispered in her ear, sucking the lobe into my mouth. "There is nothing more erotic that watching you come. Nothing. Thank you, baby."

"I should be thanking you. You didn't get to um, go," Bella said softly as she tried to hold back a yawn.

"I'm good, baby. My pleasure is your pleasure. You're worn out. Let's get you back over in your seat and you get a nap. I'll wake you up before we land."

"Okay." Bella yawned for real. I covered her with the blanket and kissed her cheek.

"Sleep well, my love."

When Bella was asleep awhile, I eased from my seat and went to the restroom. I didn't want Bella to feel badly because seeing and feeling her come apart in the confines of our seats was amazing, but my cock was throbbing and I had to get release. I laughed in spite of myself. I guess for tonight there'd be no Mile High Club for Edward and Bella, just Rosy Palm and her five sisters alone with Big Ed.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Bella, sweetheart. Wake up," I said as I traced her jaw line with my finger.

Bella stretched like a cat as her eyes fluttered open. She'd been asleep since our little escapade and I'd relaxed a little myself after my much needed trip to the first class bathroom.

"Hey," she purred as she sat up in the seat, rubbing her eyes.

"Hey yourself. Nice nap?"

"Yes, did you rest?"

"A little. They came by and said we'd be landing in about twenty minutes. I thought I'd better wake you up."

Bella perked up quickly and I could feel the excitement rolling off of her in waves.

"Ready to see your mom?" I asked as I rubbed her arm.

"I've missed her and although I'm a little sad to close this chapter of my life, I can't help but look forward to the future now that I have you in it and I get to love you," Bella said as she ducked her head at the end.

My heart soared with her revelation. She had no idea that I planned on making her statement much more real before we returned to Seattle. I wanted blessings from Renee and Charlie, but I wasn't going to be deterred without them. I wanted her for eternity and I hoped after all was said and done this weekend that she'd feel the same.

"I love you, Bella Swan."

"_Please put away any loose materials in your seating area and return to you seats, place them in the upright position and fasten your seat belts. We will be descending to our destination in five minutes. Please wait until the exit lights are illuminated before leaving your seats and exiting the plane. Welcome to Phoenix and thank you for flying American Airlines."_

Bella and I held hands and we prepared for the landing as I mentally prepared for the future. So, I said a silent prayer;

_Please Lord, let this be a good trip for Bella. For both of us. I humbly ask for You to grant me Charlie and Renee's blessing to allow me the honor of marrying this precious woman. I love her and need her close beside me for the rest of my days on this earth. Thank you for Your blessings, Amen. _

"Edward?" Bella asked as the plane touched down and taxied down toward the tarmac.

"Yes, beautiful?"

Bella leaned in so she could whisper in my ear, "We are _so_ going to join the Mile High Club on the way back home."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**A/N: Well, as promised I got the two lovebirds to Phoenix. I have the next chapter outlined and ready to type so there may be an update sooner than next weekend. Next up will be all about Phoenix, Renee. Charlie and Forks. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Let me know! 3 **


	29. Chapter 29

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 29

I don't won Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment.

**A/N: Thanks so much for the response to chapter 28. I'm inching toward 500 reviews! YAY! I love hearing from each of you. Thanks to everyone that voted in the Sunflower Awards. The results were posted Sunday 2/26. Please check the winners out and congratulate them. Well done! LDTW didn't win anything but it was a thrill to me just to be nominated so thank you for that. Hugs and smooches to my girls, twimom817 and kare831 for making me tow the line and making my work so much better. Also, I wrote a one-shot for the Fandom Against AJD entitled "Amore Tutto Cambia". It's totally different from LDTW. For $5 you can donate to a worthy cause and read a whole compilation of fiction. Check it out! **

_**EPOV**_

I grabbed our carry ons and we exited the plane, greeted by the sweltering Arizona heat. Bella had, of course, worn the long sleeved hoodie so I knew she had to be miserable. It had been 50 degrees in Seattle and it was at least 80 in Phoenix, even this late in the evening.

The plane ride had been enjoyable for a late night flight, even though I had to take matters into my own hands it was worth every second to see the look on her face when she came undone for me. Bella was bubbling with excitement which had a perma-grin on my face. Happy Bella equals happy Edward.

We made our way into the airport hand in hand. I knew her mother and step-father were meeting us and it didn't take long to find them.

"Bella! Oh, sweetheart!"

I looked across the sitting area and saw a woman in her mid-forties waving wildly as she drew closer, and a man tagging along behind. There was no mistaking the resemblance this woman had with my Bella. The hair and the build were almost identical.

"Mom! Phil!" Bella shouted, and the two ladies met in a warm embrace.

I stood back and took in the moment. I'd never seen Bella interact with her family before. I waited for them to break apart before I stepped in behind Bella, placing a hand on her shoulder. She turned and looked up at me with a breathtaking smile.

"Mom. Phil. This is Edward Cullen. Edward. This is my mother, Renee and my step-dad, Phil Dwyer."

"It's nice to meet you both," I said as I stuck out my hand.

Evidently Renee is a hugger because she took my hand and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Oh! You're so handsome! And tall!" Renee said as she looked me up and down. "And you've been so good to my baby. Thank you," she added softly for only me to hear.

I know I blushed under the scrutiny but I felt pleased that at least Renee liked me so far.

"Come on, Nee. Let the boy go," Phil said as he extracted an exuberant Renee from me. "Sorry, she's a bit excitable. It's nice to meet you, Edward."

We exchanged a brief handshake and I took Bella's hand and we walked over to the baggage claim.

"I thought it was just going to be you here, Mom," Bella asked as we waited for our luggage.

"Well, Phil was able to come at the last minute. He wanted to see you and we want to get everything done here so we don't have to fly back anytime soon."

When our luggage made the circuit, I grabbed our bags. Phil took a couple of them from me and we set out for the car with Bella and Renee talking and giggling behind us.

"So, Bella tells me you're a doctor," Phil said in an attempt at small talk.

I cleared my throat.

"Well, I'm a second year med student, but yes, I'm interning right now. I hope to graduate in the next eighteen months."

"Sounds like you've got the future all mapped out," he stated as we neared what I assumed was their vehicle. "That's a rare thing for a man your age. Hell, I was still out sowing my wild oats when I was in college."

I sat the bags down as Phil fumbled for his keys. I was a little shocked and put off at his bluntness, but I also knew he'd never had to deal with a male in Bella's life before so he was just being a protector. If I'm getting the fifth degree from Phil, Charlie may eat my ass alive.

"Well, I know what I want so I don't want to waste time on anything that isn't worthwhile," I replied in hopes as to not sound like a conceited ass. "Bella has been the best thing to ever happen in my life. I want to make sure she's well taken care of in the future."

Phil nodded in agreement as the two ladies approached the van. I wasn't calling my hand to the step-dad. Renee stepped up and kissed Phil's cheek before he went to the driver's side door.

"Enough with the male bonding, guys. Come on. I'm starving and these kids have got to be tired," Renee said as she climbed into the van.

I opened the door for Bella and when we were situated in the back seat, Phil sped off into the Phoenix night.

After a quick stop at the local Denny's, we pulled into a quaint stucco home on a cul-de-sac on the outskirts of town. Bella had been quiet most of the ride and I squeezed her hand as the van stopped.

"Well, this is it. My, um, well my "used to be" little home," Bella said as she looked toward the house.

Phil and Renee got out of the van and I gently placed my hand on Bella's cheek.

"What's wrong, beautiful? Tell me what you're thinking."

Bella sighed and leaned into my hand.

"I don't know, Edward. It's just surreal, you know? Being here for the last time. Letting you see a piece of my sad past. Hoping you don't see how pathetic my life was, before."

I pulled Bella into my arms and kissed her softly.

"Anywhere with you is where I'm supposed to be, baby. I love you, remember? That means all of you, past, present and future."

Bella wiped her eyes and gave me a grin.

"Thank you for loving me, Edward. I love you too," she replied before she nodded her head. "Okay. Let's go before Renee comes after you again."

We grabbed our luggage and Bella led me into the house. It was warm and cozy. Bella gave me the tour while Phil and Renee turned on the lights and the air conditioning. When we got to the end of the hall, she paused in front of a door. I was guessing it was her bedroom. An errant thought crossed my mind, but I tucked it away for later. I'd need to talk to Renee first. Bella took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Yeah, this is my room," she said as she turned on the light.

I don't know what I was expecting. I guess I'd have to say maybe pink and girlie, like Alice's room had been as a teen. I stepped inside the room, setting our bags down by the door and Bella followed nervously behind me.

"Um, it's a mess from when I moved to Seattle," Bella said in embarrassment.

She stepped around me and stood in the middle of the sparsely decorated space. There was a bookshelf full of books, ranging from classic novels to Little Golden Books. The walls were painted an off white and the curtains and carpet were beige. Against the wall was a twin-sized bed with a handmade quilt spread over it. The bedside table had a simple alarm clock and a small blue lamp. There were no posters or cheesy teenage photos adorning the walls. It wasn't a mess at all.

Bella sat down on the bed. I could see a myriad of emotions cross her face in a few seconds. I knew she was thinking negative thoughts again so I sat down beside of her.

"If this is a mess, I'm glad you never saw my room when I was growing up. I don't know about you, but I feel pretty damn lucky to be here with you. I never imagined that I'd get to see a piece of your past like this. I can picture you, lying on this bed with your cute little pj's on, hair piled on top of your head, curled under that patchwork quilt reading some Austen novel. It's a very sexy visual."

Bella snorted and smacked my arm.

"It's just, well, we didn't have a lot of money and I've seen your room at your parent's house. I'm sorry things aren't nicer here."

So_ that's_ it. I sighed at the sudden change in her demeanor.

"Bella, why are you doing this? Your home is exactly that, a home. Same as what I grew up in. Money has nothing to do with it. Possessions don't make you truly happy. It's the people that you let into your life that do that. I'm a perfect case in point. I was a miserable shell of a man before I met you. Now I'm complete. End of story," I said, pulling her into my arms. "I don't want to hear anymore of this nonsense on the trip, okay? Relax and enjoy the time with your parents."

Bella relaxed in my arms and yawned. I knew she was worn out from the trip and the emotion. I kissed her cheek and sat her back down on the bed.

"You're beat and I'm getting tired myself. The movers will be here early in the morning. Why don't you get ready for bed and I'll go find Renee and see where I'm sleeping."

"Okay. I think a shower would feel heavenly."

"You do whatever you need. I'll come see you before I go to bed."

I pulled the door shut behind me and padded down the hall to the voices I could hear in the kitchen.

"Well, did you get the dime tour?" Phil asked as I entered the room.

I chuckled, "Yeah, Bella showed me around. You have a nice place here."

"Thanks, Edward. It was home for many years. Is Bella okay? I knew the trip would be emotional for her," Renee asked, concern etching her face.

"She's okay. Just tired and a little nostalgic. She's showering and getting ready for bed."

"Phil and I are jetlagged from the time change. We were just going to have a drink and unwind before bed. There isn't much here to choose from but we have some Guinness if you'd like a beer."

"Sounds great," I said as I sat down at the kitchen table. Renee brought me a bottle and one for herself and Phil.

I took several long pulls from the bottle, letting the strong Irish ale calm my nerves. I heard Bella shut the bathroom door and I knew I had a few minutes to talk to Renee and Phil. This wasn't how I'd planned it but I couldn't wait any longer. I looked up and saw Renee gazing in my direction with the hint of a smile on her lips. I took a deep breath and looked squarely at them both. Here goes nothing.

"I, um … well, this isn't how I planned this, but I wanted to talk to you two alone. I don't know if we'll get the chance again this trip and what I have to say needs to be said face-to-face. Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer, I love Bella more than life itself. I know it doesn't seem like we've known each other long enough but the pull is there and I'm a damn lucky man that she feels the same way. The past few months have been the best of my entire life and I can't imagine spending one more day without Bella by my side. With that said, I humbly ask your permission to ask Bella to be my wife. I know it's a little old-fashioned to ask for her hand, but it was the way I was raised."

I looked expectantly to the faces across the table. Renee hadn't moved and Phil was just staring back at me. I fidgeted in my seat and took another drink from the bottle. After what seemed like hours, Renee cleared her throat and spoke.

"Bella is such a special soul. When she was little, she was such a friendly and lovable child. All that changed when she developed psoriasis. She became a ghost. No friends. No life. Just school and reading. The kids at school didn't know anything about the disease and they were cruel to her. She never stood up for herself or tried to make them understand. I tried as hard as I could to convince her to live life, enjoy the beauty in it, but she continued to shut down. It was the most painful thing to watch because it was like my Bella had died. The light in her eyes was gone. Even going to college didn't make things better. But ever since the move to Seattle, I've noticed in our recent conversations the changes in her. She's alive again. Just watching the two of you tonight, I can see the connection. You're like magnets. One moves, the other moves. It's a beautiful thing. You've brought my Bella back to me. Now, with that said, you're not planning on running to Vegas for a quickie wedding on the way home, are you?"

It took a moment for the information to process through my brain. I let out a chuckle, shaking my head.

"No Vegas wedding this weekend. If you give me your blessing, and Chief Swan gives me his permission when we're in Forks, I plan on asking her when we get back to Seattle. Granted she says yes, well, I'll be at her mercy for whatever wedding her heart desires. I want her to decide when the time is right."

Renee nodded at that information and sat back in her chair, mulling over the information but never taking her eyes off of me. I was getting nervous at the lack of response and also that Bella would be out of the shower soon. I finished my beer as I glanced down the hall and Phil spoke.

"I'm not her father, Edward but I've been in her life for awhile. I know you don't need my permission, but you got my okay at the airport. You didn't back down when I made those comments to you. I can see the way you feel for her. You're a good guy. It's damn obvious you love her, but don't screw it up. You don't want to see me if I have to pick up the pieces you leave behind."

"Thank you, Mr. Dwyer. I won't screw it up. Mrs. Dwyer? Can I ask you for your blessing?"

Renee's eyes filled with tears and she reached out for my hand.

"Please call me Renee. Mrs. Dwyer sounds so formal and I think we're past that now. Yes, you have my blessing, Edward. I believe you when you say that you love her. Take care of her, just don't hurt my baby. We just got her back," Renee answered with strong emotion.

I let out the air in my lungs and squeezed her hand.

"Thank you, Renee. I promise you here and now that I'll take care of Bella and I'll never hurt her. You've made me a happy man tonight. I just hope she says yes."

"She loves you, sweetie. I don't think you have any worries about her response."

I looked around and saw Bella coming up the hall in her cotton pj's and robe. A vision of pure, unadulterated beauty. The conversation stopped and I felt relief that I had one parent, well two down. I got up and met Bella as she entered the kitchen.

"Feeling better now, beautiful?"

Bella blushed at the words of endearment and quickly nodded her head. I moved behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Yes, thank you. What are you guys talking about?"

I knew that Renee would cover for me but I wasn't sure how she'd approach it.

"Well, sweetheart, we were just having a drink and getting ready for bed. Edward was just asking about where to sleep."

I cleared my throat. Shit! I'd asked them for their proposal blessing and forgot about asking where to sleep.

"I was just telling Renee that the couch would be fine."

Phil got up from his seat and kissed Renee on the cheek.

"Well, I know where I'm sleeping. I'll see you two in the morning."

Phil left the room and Renee began to clear the table.

"Bella, you know where the extra pillows and blankets are. I changed the sheets on your bed before we left for Jacksonville," Renee said before turning to look at us. "I'm not that old, you know. Just keep the door closed. Goodnight."

Renee walked over, kissed Bella's cheek and gave my hand a squeeze before turning out the kitchen light and going to her bedroom. When the door closed I let out a breath in relief about the blessing and about the sleeping arrangement. Bella turned to face me with a dazed expression.

"Am I dreaming or did my mom just give us permission to sleep together?"

"No, you're not dreaming, beautiful. Come on. I know I'm beat and I want to snuggle with you in your bed."

Bella took my hand and we went to her room, closing the door behind us. I quickly undressed and changed into my lounge pants and a clean tee shirt while Bella made the bed. My mind was spinning from the events of the evening. I was one step closer to putting that platinum band on her finger. Now the visions of making love to her in her childhood bed were making an appearance. When the bed was made, Bella took off her robe and slipped in making room for me on my usual side. I turned out the lamp and crawled into the small bed and we lay for a few minutes, facing each other on our respective pillows with nothing but the moonlight illuminating the room.

"You're so beautiful," I said, breaking the silence. I reached out and ran my hand down her face and neck.

Bella leaned into my hand and looked at me with hooded eyes.

"Edward, make love to me. Here. I want to leave this house with good memories. Please?" 

She looked at me with such want and need; I knew I wouldn't deny her but the thought of Phil and Renee in the house made me pause.

"Bella, I told you that you'd never have to ask me twice, but what about your parents?"

"They are across the house. I'll turn on the clock radio. I don't care. I want you, now."

Good lord, she's going to be the death of me. I pulled her closer and whispered, "You have to be quiet, like you were on the plane. Okay?"

Bella's lips met mine and we kissed deeply. Her hands ran up my chest and into my hair and my hands wound into her tresses. We broke apart, breathless.

"Turn over on your other side, baby."

Bella did as I asked and I pulled her body flush against mine. My hands crept under her top and began massaging her breasts. Bella's breathing quickened when I tugged gently on her nipples. My hands drifted down her belly and hooked into the band of her pajama bottoms. I slid the fabric down her legs and she kicked them off at the foot of the bed. I went back for her panties and was met by her bare flesh.

"No panties?" I whispered in her ear.

"Was hoping I wouldn't need them," Bella replied softly.

I let out a growl as my hands caressed her naked ass. Bella hitched her leg back over mine, opening herself for me. My fingers tracing her hip and around to her slit. I ran my fingers lazily over her mound until I found her love bud, ripe and ready for me. I slowly rubbed the sensitive flesh, growing more aroused as Bella's body responded to mine.

"Sweet heaven," I said as I found her entrance. I slowly inserted one finger and then two, rubbing along her walls, with my thumb making swirls over her clitoris. Bella's body bucked in reaction and I brought my lips to hers.

"Please, Edward …"

I pulled my fingers from her body and slid my pants down below my knees. My dick was rock hard and begging for her warmth and wetness. I placed my cock at her entrance and slid in slowly. I had to bite my tongue to keep from shouting my pleasure.

Bella moaned quietly as I set a slow rhythm. My lips kissing the exposed flesh of her neck and back as I relished in the moment. My body fitting with hers perfectly as we climbed higher and higher with every stroke. I couldn't reach around her at this angle to touch her body like I wanted to and I knew she liked to be stimulated while we made love. I had an idea. I took her hand in mine and placed her fingers over her clit.

"Touch yourself, baby. Help me make you come."

Bella hesitated and I quickened my pace, careful not to make anymore sounds than possible. Bella's fingers began to move below my hand and her breathing hitched. I was so close to coming and the feel of her fingers working her most intimate area was pushing my resolve.

"That's right, baby. Make yourself feel good. Come for me. I need to feel you explode around me."

"Oh! Ed …ward …so…close!"

My breathing was erratic as I continued my pace. Bella's body began to tremble so I pulled her face to mine and kissed her with all the emotion and passion that I'd been carrying ever since we left Seattle. Her body tensed and she came with such force, the bed shook. My body stiffened and stilled as I found my release in an earth-shattering fashion. My lips never left hers as we slowly came down from the heavens.

"Baby, you'd better go clean up so we can get to sleep. We have a big day tomorrow."

Bella giggled and rolled from the bed, grabbing her bottoms and blushing as she went out the door. I rolled to my back, pulled up my bottoms and closed my eyes for a moment to collect my thoughts. Life couldn't be more perfect at the moment. I heard Bella reenter the room. I rolled on my side as Bella crawled into bed, her little body warm and comforting as I pulled her back to my chest.

"Sleep well, my angel."

"Thank you, Edward. I love you."

"Love you too."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXO

The next morning was filled with the hustle and bustle of the moving crew. We'd gotten up early to a quick breakfast. Bella made a pot of coffee and we worked together to pack up her room.

Bella blushed several times when she'd come across things from her past, like her stuffed bear and her Hello Kitty underwear. I loved spending this time with her. It was like unlocking a secret room and peeking into the past.

Most of Phil and Renee's things had been taken on their move so there wasn't much for them to do once we had sorted through Bella's things and the movers loaded them on the truck. When we were making the last trip out to the trash bin, we met Phil out in the driveway.

"The realtor is coming by in a little while to discuss listing the house. If you and Bella are done, why don't you guys take a break and get out for awhile. Bella can show you around."

"If Bella wants to go out, we can. Baby?"

"We can do that. Let me change clothes."

Bella went to change clothes and met me at the van. Phil handed her the keys and I climbed in the passenger seat. Bella started up the van and we took off for town.

Bella pointed out where she went to school and where her old friends used to live. We stopped at a family run diner called Moe's for lunch. We took a seat at a window booth and each grabbed a menu.

"Is everything okay, Bella? You're pretty quiet," I asked, taking her hand.

Bella sighed and gave me a hint of a smile, "Just lots of memories here, Edward. Most of them okay but many not so good."

I was about to respond when the waitress came to take out order.

"Welcome to Moe's. Can I get you something to drink?" the waitress said as she pulled out her notepad.

"I'll have a coke," I said and Bella turned sharply toward the window. "Bella? What would you like to drink?"

The waitress took in a sharp breath and dropped her pen.

"Bella Swan? Is that you?"

"Hey, Jessica."

Oh, so this is a friend of hers.

"Oh my gosh! I thought you moved away or something. Who's your friend, Bella?" Jessica asked as she made eye contact with me.

"Um, Jessica this is Edward Cullen. Edward this is Jessica Stanley. I did move to Seattle. We just came back to pick up some of my stuff."

"Oh, wow. How cool for you to have such a good looking friend willing to come to Phoenix with you," Jessica said as she turned fully toward me, bending over so the whole restaurant could see down her v-neck tee shirt. "It's very nice to meet you, Edward."

I wasn't getting good vibes from Bella. I could see the distress on her face as she watched Jessica. Jessica hadn't said anything nice to Bella, just questioning her about randomness. The light bulb came on in my brain after a few seconds. Oh, hell no.

"Likewise," I said, fully turning my attention to Bella. "Beautiful, what would you like to drink? I'm sure Julie needs to get back to work. After our little work out last night, I'm sure you're as famished as I am."

Bella let out the sweetest giggle and I smiled at her happiness. Come on, Bella. Match point. Don't let this bitch belittle you.

"You're right, I am starving! You know me so well, Edward. Just order for the both of us, okay?"

I kept my eyes on Bella as I ordered. I could see Jessica seething out of the corner of my eye.

"Just make it two cokes, two loaded burgers and two orders of fries, Jenny. Thanks."

Jessica huffed off and Bella fell into a fit of giggles.

"Oh my gosh! That was classic! I've never seen any guy not want to paw all over Jessica Stanley. She was homecoming queen and the most popular girl in my class. There are retired racehorses that haven't been ridden as many times as she has, Edward."

"Paw on _her_? You must be joking! I certainly don't see the attraction. The only woman I'm interested in is holding my hand right now. And I love her, pretty damn hard."

I leaned in and kissed Bella softly on the lips. I didn't want to get thrown out of the place for excessive PDA but I wanted to drive my point home to Bella. There are so many Jessica's and Tanya's in the world but only one Isabella Marie Swan.

Jessica brought us our drinks and left without another word. Our food came shortly after and we ate while Bella opened up about her life in Phoenix. We headed back to Bella's house when we were done and finished our packing so the movers could start out for Forks.

The four of us hung around the house that night, eating delivery pizza and watching TV. I pulled Bella to the side and had a talk with her.

"Baby, we need to fill your mom in on Jacob. She deserves to know. Do you want me to tell her?"

Bella shook her head.

"No, I'll tell her but stay beside me, okay?"

"Of course, baby."

Bella cleared her throat and muted the TV. She sat beside me and I took her hand in mine.

"Mom, I need to tell you about some things that have happened recently. Please let me finish before you ask any questions, alright?"

Renee looked from Bella to me and back to Bella. "What's wrong, Bella?"

Bella began telling Renee and Phil about the events that had happened with Jacob. She left out most of the finer details, but I knew Bella was telling what she needed Renee to hear. Renee teared up several times and Phil kept a soothing hand in hers as Bella finished her story. I was proud of her for being able to do it without breaking down.

"Edward has been wonderful through this and Dad has the Seattle PD involved. I don't go anywhere alone and I'm being well-taken care of. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I didn't want you to worry."

Renee stood and pulled Bella into a hug.

"Oh, Bella. I'm so sorry but please don't withhold this type of thing from me again. What if something had happened to you?"

"I know, Mom. I'll keep you informed and I'll tell Dad to do the same. Okay?"

Phil and I got up and went to the kitchen for a beer, letting Bella and Renee have a moment in private. We talked about baseball and Seattle. Phil was really a cool guy and we had no problems passing the time. When Bella stuck her head in the door, it was almost midnight.

"I'm ready for bed. We have to finish up here and fly out tomorrow. Are you ready?"

"Yes, ma'am. Phil, I'll see you in the morning."

Since we'd showered (separately) after we finished packing, we just changed into our nightclothes and crawled into bed, both mentally and physically exhausted.

"G'nite Edward."

"Goodnight, beautiful."

The rest of our trip flew by, with lots of stories told about Bella as a child, and just general conversation about our lives and our goals. Renee may be a little quirky, but she loved her daughter. I was glad I'd come along and gotten the chance to meet both her and Phil.

The good byes the last day were hard to watch. Renee and Bella were a mess by the time they took us to the airport. Our visit had been pleasant, with a few ups and downs. I'd gotten to see a peek of Bella's past and most importantly, I'd gotten Renee and Phil's blessing to ask Bella to marry me. The ring was burning a hole in the pocket of my suitcase. Soon, I hoped it would be placed on the left ring finger of my Bella.

"Bella, I love you, sweetie. Call me every week to let me know how you are. Edward, take care of my girl," Renee said as we pulled into the drop off area.

"I will, Renee. It was nice to meet you both. I hope to see more of you in the future."

Renee winked at me and Bella hugged her once more.

"I love you, Mom. I'll call you soon. Take care of yourself and Phil."

Our flight was on time, so we had to hurry through the checkpoints. This was a smaller flight, and luckily our section was almost empty since we were flying into Port Angeles instead of Seattle. Once the attendant had made her pass, giving us a wink and a smile, and left the area Bella became anxious. When we were finally in the air, Bella tugged at my arm.

"Need something, baby? Water? Soda?"

Bella shook her head and pulled her bottom lip into her teeth. She was nervous about whatever it was on her mind.

"Baby, I can't read minds. You've got to tell me what you're thinking."

Bella's face flushed but she didn't lower her eyes. She leaned in close to me and whispered into my ear.

"I'm ready to earn my wings."

Holy shit!

"Hmmm. Are you, sure?"

I looked around and saw that the only other person in first class was an older gentleman who was reclined in his chair asleep. Could we pull this off? I sure as hell wanted to try.

"Yes, I'm sure. How do we pull this off?"

"Okay, baby. We'll try. You have to be quiet again, okay? Very quiet and very quick. Here's the plan. I'll get up and go to the bathroom. Give me two minutes and come knock on the door. Don't come if the attendant is out here. If you don't make it in five minutes, then it's off. Too risky. Okay?"

"Okay. Hurry. Go!"

I laughed at her enthusiasm and I got up and made my way to the bathroom. No one seemed to be around. I opened the hatch and entered the small space. This was going to be highly challenging since there wasn't but about five square feet space to work with, but the idea was extremely erotic. I mean, sex with a hot woman, on a plane has to rate in the top five masturbation dreams of all guys around the world. Hell yes. I was going to make this work.

After a few minutes, a small knock came to the door. I knocked back once and Bella slid in and shut the hatch. Her eyes were bright and her cheeks tinged pink from her excitement as well, which in turn made my cock jump to attention. I wasn't going to have time to worship her body.

"My cock is hard enough to saw lumber, Bella. I'm so fucking turned on right now, I can't see straight. Step out of your jeans and panties. Now," I whispered as I unzipped my jeans and freed my hardened length into my hand.

Bella quickly pulled off her shoes, jeans and panties. I took her red lace panties and slid them in my pocket. I was sure as hell keeping a souvenir of this escapade. She stood in front of me, bare from the waist down. I ran my fingers over her mound and back to her entrance. She was ready … waiting … mine.

"Always so wet for me. There's no time for foreplay, baby. I'm sorry. Now, I'm going to lift you up and you wrap your legs around my waist. This is going to be a quick, hard fuck."

Bella gasped at my words but did as I asked. I maneuvered our bodies until my cock slid deep into her pussy. I bit back the groan on my lips as her heat encased me. My hands splayed across her pert little ass as I thrust into her depths with Bella meeting me stroke for stroke. She lowered her mouth to mine and kissed me hard to keep herself quiet as I increased my speed. I moved one hand to the apex of her thighs and began to rub her clit. There was a static electricity in the small room. Skin slapping against skin. Teeth clashing. Tongues fighting for dominance. The tension in my gut building and building, threatening to explode at any time. Bella's breathing became erratic as I felt her body begin to shake. I broke free from the kiss. I needed to see her come for me.

"I'm close baby. Look in my eyes," I said as my rhythm began to falter. "I love you. I want to see you come for me. Please."

Bella's eyes met mine, and with a few more thrusts the world shattered into a million prisms of light. I released with a silent groan and Bella came undone around me, gasping for air. I kept moving until I had no energy left. I pulled from her body and Bella slid to her feet. I was shaking and out of breath, but damn, if that wasn't the most intense sex I'd had in my life.

Bella cleaned up and slipped on her jeans, sans panties. I wasn't giving those suckers back. No way. Once her shoes were on, she looked to me for direction. I kissed her lips and pulled her close to me.

"Thank you. That was exceptional."

Bella giggled quietly.

"Yes, it was really fun. Intense! Don't thank me, silly. I loved it! Now, how do we get out of here?"

God, I loved this woman.

"You leave first. I'll be along shortly. Go on, beautiful," I said and I slapped her ass on the way out.

I cleaned up and made sure everything was in its place before I slid from the cubicle and made my way back to the seats. Bella had gotten us two waters, which I gladly accepted and drank down greedily. Anyone that says that joining the Mile High Club was easy was a damn liar. I hadn't been this tired in forever.

Bella seemed to feel the same way. She pulled the blanket from the stowaway and draped it across us. I raised the armrest and let Bella cuddle into my side.

"Mr. Cullen? Mr. Cullen?"

I awoke with a start and met the eyes of the attendant. Bella was still asleep so I gently moved her over into her seat and returned the arm rest. I was prepared for the ass-chewing I was about to receive. Bella and I would probably be banned from all domestic flights until we were ninety. How the hell was I going to explain my way out of this?

"I'm sorry to wake you, but we are preparing to land soon. You might want to wake the missus and get ready. Oh, and these are for you. I hope you enjoyed the flight."

The attendant placed two small black boxes in my hand and gave me a smile before she walked away. What the hell? I opened the box and almost laughed out loud.

"Bella, baby? It's almost time to land," I said, kissing her lips.

Bella stirred and opened her eyes. I was met with a breathtaking smile as she awoke from her nap.

"Hey. Did we sleep long?"

"Yep, I think we slept for a few hours. The plane is preparing to land. I have something for you."

Bella cocked her head to the side as I placed the small box in her hand.

"Go ahead. Open it."

Bella sat up in the seat and opened the box. Her eyes darted over to mine as her face turned beet red.

"How'd … I mean, where'd you get this?"

I winked and nodded toward the galley.

"A gift from the flight attendant, one for each of us. I guess we weren't as sneaky as we thought, beautiful."

Bella pulled the lapel pin from the box. The words "Mile High Club" written in red on a black set of wings. Bella giggled and I leaned in for a quick kiss.

"_We are preparing to land at Port Angeles Airport. Please return your seats to the upright position and put away any loose materials. We are arriving on schedule. Your attendant will let you know when it is safe to exit the plane. Thank you for flying Virgin Airlines." _

We landed in Port Angeles and exited the plane, after thanking the attendant for our gift. Our car was waiting for us and as soon as we had our luggage we set the GPS for Forks.

"I just wanted to thank you for coming on the trip with me, Edward. I'm so glad I didn't have to do it alone."

I took her hand in mine and laid them on the console.

"You will never have to face anything alone again, Bella. I mean it. You're stuck with me until you tell me to go away."

"That's not going to happen, Edward. Never."

The ride to Forks was short. As we passed the city limit sign, Bella gave me directions to Chief Swan's house. I was more nervous about him than I was Renee. He was a cop and I knew he could shoot me and hide my body. As I was lamenting that information, Bella cut into my thoughts.

"His house is the white one, last on the right."

We slowed and pulled into the drive. The police cruiser was in the driveway and I could see the tracks from the moving van left in the soft gravel. I put the car in park and got out to open her door. The curtains parted inside the house and then closed.

Deep breath, Cullen.

"If its okay, I'm going to get you settled with Dad and then go take a shower. I feel kinda gross from the … flight. I, um, need my panties, please."

I reached in my pocket and pulled out the red scrap of lace. I had the lapel pin now so I'd surrender my prize back to her.

"Okay, but don't keep me long. He may shoot me or something."

Bella laughed as the front door opened and Chief Swan made himself known. Bella took my hand and we walked up the drive. Chief Swan met us at the bottom of the steps.

"Hi Dad. This is Edward. Edward, this is my Dad."

Chief Swan gave his daughter an awkward hug and stuck his hand out to me.

"Edward."

I shook his hand and noticed he shook mine a little harder than necessary.

"Chief Swan. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, sir."

"Call me Charlie. We've already gotten past all the sir stuff. Come on in."

Charlie opened the door and ushered us inside.

"The movers put most of the big stuff in the storage building behind the house. The other stuff, like your clothes, I put in your room upstairs."

"Thanks, Dad. Um, I'm feeling a little nasty from the flight so I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower," Bella said, cutting her eyes to me. "I won't be long."

"Okay, Bells. You know where everything is. I'll just keep Edward company while your gone."

"Be nice," Bella scolded as she headed for the stairs.

"Always."

Bella bounded up the stairs and Charlie and I stood in silence for a few minutes. I had to make this time count. We'd be leaving in a few hours for Seattle. My heart was thumping in my chest.

"Well, I need a beer. Would you like one? I'll let you have one, and only one if you plan on driving my baby girl back to Seattle tonight."

"Um, yes. A beer sounds good. Thank you."

Charlie got up from his recliner and went to the kitchen. He came back with two cans of Rainier beer. He handed one to me and returned to his seat. I popped the top and took a long drink.

"Okay. Out with it, Cullen. I can tell that you want to get something off your chest. I'm a cop. I can read you like a book," Charlie said as he kept his eyes set on me.

My eyes met his and I knew that he already knew what I was about to say. He was going to make me say the words. I gulped down the saliva pooling in my mouth.

"Yes, sir, um, Charlie. I'm in love with Bella. I want to marry her. My parents raised me to respect women and my elders. I want to do this the right way and ask for your permission."

Charlie leaned back in his recliner and took a drink of his beer. I forced myself to keep my eyes on him. He seemed to be in deep thought and I needed an answer. Fast.

"Charlie? I don't want to upset you, but I plan on asking her tonight. With all that's gone on with Jake and the trip to Phoenix, I need to do this. With or without your blessing but I'm praying that you give me your permission. I want to spend the rest of my life with Bella by my side. She's going to be back down here soon and this may be our only chance to talk without her present."

Charlie took another sip of his beer and set it down on the coffee table. He stood from his chair and walked over to the fireplace. I hadn't noticed but there were numerous pictures of Bella on the mantle, ranging from a baby to most likely her senior picture. I got up and walked over beside of him. He was gazing at the pictures with a softened expression on his face.

"I loved Renee. We met and married young. The world couldn't keep us down. The newness wore off after awhile but I was thrilled when she found out she was pregnant. We were poor as church mice. Barely paying the bills and keeping food on the table. In hindsight, I should have taken her and Bella away from this place. There was little opportunity for a high paying job once the lumber industry went bust. But I was stubborn. This was home and I let my foolish pride break up my marriage and take my little girl far away from me. After that damn disease began to take over her body, she quit coming to visit. She became depressed and reclusive. We'd talk on the phone and I'd get letters and pictures from time to time but it wasn't the same as having Bella with me."

He paused as I saw him wipe at his eyes. His voice not nearly as strong as it had been moments ago. I stood my ground.

"When I took her to Seattle, it was the first time I'd seen her in person since her high school graduation. My little girl was gone, replaced by an empty look-a-like. It killed me, Edward. I've never been so afraid as I was when I found out that she had been stalked and attacked on campus. I felt helpless. But there's a change in Bella. I've noticed it when we talk on the phone and I saw it the moment you helped her from the car. She loves you and I don't doubt that you feel the same. I don't want to see you two rush into things, though and end up like Renee and me, but I won't hold her back either. You have my blessing, Edward. You make my girl happy. But I will hunt you down like a rabid dog and make you're life a living hell if you ever hurt her. As long as we're clear on that we'll be fine."

Charlie turned on his heel and retrieved his beer, finishing it in one gulp. I took a moment to look at the pictures before I returned to my seat on the couch. I heard the blow dryer upstairs so I knew our time was almost up. I took a drink and sat the can back down.

"Charlie, I promise to always put Bella's needs first. I don't like to talk about this but I'm financially set for life. My grandparent's left an inheritance to myself, my brother and sister, but I will still work as a doctor. I will see that Bella's needs are met in every way. As far as a wedding, well, she hasn't said yes yet, so the ball is in her court. I don't care if its tomorrow or five years from now. I just want to make her happy and have her by my side for the rest of our lives. Thank you for your blessing, Charlie. It means so much to me to have it."

"I assume you've talked to Renee?"

"Yes, she's given me her blessing, and my parent's have as well. I wanted to do it face-to-face."

"Alright then. I think there's a ball game on ESPN. I'll grab another beer and order some take out for supper. Hope you like pizza."

Bella made her way down the stairs and she sat down on the couch beside of me, cuddling into my side. She smelled sweet, like strawberries. I kissed the tip of her nose.

"Everything go okay while I was gone?"

I chuckled. Boy did they.

"Yep, Charlie and I made it fine. Are you hungry? Charlie is going to order pizza."

Bella scurried to the kitchen and I followed behind. Charlie was hanging up the phone.

"I ordered a couple of pizzas from Mario's. Hope that's okay with you guys. One all cheese and one the works. They'll have it here in about twenty minutes. Now, about that game …"

Our visit with Charlie made me realize how the little things in life take over sometimes and you have to take a step back and readjust your priorities. For a man of few words, he had a broad insight on life. It made me think about all the time and work I was putting into school. Was it worth it? What was more important? My goals or enjoying the life God had given me.

When it was almost time to go, I stepped out into the cool night air to give Bella and Charlie some time alone to say goodbye. I was planning on waiting until Seattle to propose, but after seeing Charlie's love for Bella expressed to me, I decided that there was no better time than the present. He needed to be a part of this. I went to the car and unzipped my carry on. Nestled deep in the pocket was a small, black, felt box. I put it in my pocket and went to sit on the swing on the porch.

Soon, Bella and Charlie stepped out on the porch. I made eye contact with Charlie, and he nodded back.

"Um, Bells. I'm just gonna run back in the house for a minute. There's a few things that you'll want to take back with you. Don't leave without saying goodbye to your old man, okay?"

"Okay, Dad. I'll just sit on the swing and wait. We don't have to be back any certain time."

Charlie closed the door behind him and Bella sat down on the swing. She drew her legs up underneath herself and took my hand. It was twilight and the night was clear and bright. Perfect.

"This has been the best weekend I've ever had, Edward. It was good to see Mom, Phil and Dad. I'm glad you were here to share this with me."

I kissed her on the top of the head and stood from the swing. Bella looked at me in confusion as I knelt down in front of her. I took both of her hands in mine and gazed into those beautiful brown eyes.

"Bella, I'm glad this has been a good trip for you. I couldn't imagine sitting back in Seattle waiting for you to get back to me. It kills me for us to be apart, no matter how short the time. With that said, I need to ask you an important question. I love you and I want to spend my forever with you."

I pulled the box from my pocket and sat it in her trembling hand. Her eyes wide and tears threatening to spill as I opened the box. Settled in the felt was a platinum band with a two karat diamond in the center, two-one karat diamonds on either side and ten smaller diamonds set into the band. It was classic, and beautiful. Bella gasped as the realization of the moment fell over her.

"Bella, will you marry me?"

Bella stared at the ring and then at me. Her hands shaking as she touched the ring. I pulled it from the box and took her hand.

"Bella?"

The tears streamed down her face and she lit the sky with her smile.

"Yes! Oh, yes, Edward!"

I let out the breath I'd been holding and slid the ring on her finger, kissing each knuckle on her hand. All was right in the world in this moment. I stood and she leapt into my arms. Our mouths meshing together in a long kiss.

"I love you so much!" she exclaimed as I rested my forehead on hers.

"You've made me the happiest man on the planet, Bella. God heard my prayers and you said yes! I love you so much, Isabella Swan, soon to be Cullen."

Charlie opened the door to find his daughter wrapped around me like a pretzel and all I could do was laugh. I sat her back down on her feet and she rushed over to him.

"Well, that answers my question. Let me see that ring."

Bella held out her hand to him, and he let out a long whistle.

"That's nice, Bella. Really sparkly."

Bella looked from her dad to me and shook her head.'

"Wait, you _knew_ he was going to propose? How?"

"Well, Edward here asked my blessing. And he got it tonight and Renee's in Phoenix, and his parent's awhile back. I'm happy for you, Bells."

He handed her a couple of bags and gave her a quick hug. Bella still looked stunned from his admission.

"Now, you two better get on the road. I know how long it takes to get to Seattle and you need to get plenty of sleep. Call me when you make it there safely."

"Okay, Dad. I love you."

"Love you too, kid. Always have. Always will. Edward, drive safely. I'll be talking to you soon."

"I will Charlie. Thank you again."

Bella and I climbed into the rental car and waved once more to Charlie before we pulled out onto the street. Bella set the GPS for the University of Washington. I wasn't ready for our time together to end.

"Thank you for saying yes, Bella."

"Thank you for asking, Edward. I still cannot believe you asked my parents!"

"I wanted to do this right. Now, are you opposed to staying the night with me? I'll take you to the dorms if you'd rather, but I owe you some personal attention, Miss Swan. Too many quickies this weekend, although I enjoyed having you in your bed and on the plane. I want to make love to you, slowly. Pay respect to every inch of that body. Please? Will you stay the night with me?"

"How fast can you drive this thing, Cullen?"

I laughed and floored the gas and sped off into the Washington night.

**A/N: Well, kids, this was the longest chapter to date. I wanted to stop several times and make a new chapter, but I wanted to get everything I'd promised in. I hope it meets your expectations. I teared up when I wrote Charlie. Gah, I have a soft spot for him! Please review if you can! I hate to pimp for reviews, but I'm so close to 500. Please? See you next week! **


	30. Chapter 30

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 30

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment. **

**A/N: Hello again! So sorry for the delay in posting a chapter. I don't write ahead so when I got sick I was at the mercy of the antibiotics and pain meds until I was able to sit upright. Then RL messed with every attempt I made at writing…anyhow. Here I am. Thanks for all the reviews and hello to all my new readers that have put LDTW on alert. I'd love to hear from you too! I danced through my house like a crazy woman when I exceeded 550 reviews this week. AMAZING! Thank you all! Now, I'm listening to my 80's mix on my iPod while I write…I have everything from "New Moon On Monday" by Duran Duran (yes, I was a DD fan in middle school) to "Life In the Fast Line" by the Eagles to "Angel" by Aerosmith (the first song my hubs sang to me when we were dating in HS and currently playing) so who knows where this will go…LOL**

_**BPOV**_

Our trip had been a success and my brain hadn't quite caught up with the rest of my body as Edward maneuvered the roads from Forks to Seattle. _I was engaged to Edward_. Totally unexpected and my heart raced when I thought of the time and thought he'd put into the proposal. I mean, who asks for permission from the girls parents anymore? My Edward, that's who.

To have Charlie be the first person to know almost brought me to tears. My fingers absently fiddled with the ring on my finger as I snuck glance at Edward as the lights from the interstate illuminated his face. He always called me _beautiful _and it was getting easier to feel that when he looked at me and said the words, but he was truly a beautiful man, inside and out. I gasped as Edward's hand reached out for mine and he gave it a gentle squeeze, breaking my silent reverie, the sounds of _Every Breath You Take _playing softly in the background.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked, never taking his eyes from the road.

So much for sneaky.

"Just thinking about how happy I am right now," I said with a smile.

Edward rubbed his fingers across my knuckles before bringing my hand to his lips and kissing it softly several times, ending with a kiss above the ring.

"I'm over-the-moon happy, baby. So happy. You said YES! I was afraid you might say no."

HUH?

I turned in my seat and took in his profile but kept my hand in his. Was he serious?

"Really? You thought I'd say no to the proposal? Why?" I asked incredulously.

Edward stroked my hand and let out a timid chuckle.

"Well, for one, I thought you might panic that this was coming about too soon, Bella, and I wasn't sure what I'd do if you felt that way. I love you so much, the thought of you saying 'no' would have been hard to take."

I digested that bit of information. The road sign ahead showed that we were 50 miles from Seattle and I needed to call Alice and Rose to let them know we were almost there, but this conversation took precedence.

"Seriously? You know I love you, Edward."

"I know, beautiful. I didn't doubt that at all. We both have insecurity issues, and rejection is one of mine."

_Tanya. He's still not over that whole incident. What I wouldn't give for five minutes alone with her …_

Insecurity and rejection were two things I understand. Unfortunately, my issues always seem to be the ones in the forefront, and his never get addressed. I undid my seatbelt and scooted over in the leather seat until I was flush to his side. I kissed the side of his face and felt Edward snake his arm around my body, pulling me closer. No words needed to be said as we both let the healing balm of our love wash over us.

After a few miles, I heard my cell ring. Someday I'm going to get savvy and designate ring tones, but since I still had a generic ring tone, I went back to my seat and fished around in my bag until I found my cell. I figured it was Alice or Rose but when I looked at the screen, it was a blocked number.

"Hello?"

Silence.

"Hello?"

Nothing. Huh.

I hung up and Edward glanced over at me.

"Who was it, baby?"

"I don't know. The number was blocked and no one said anything. Must have been a wrong number. I guess I'd better call your sister before she freaks out on us. She knew we'd be in tonight."

"Yeah, call her and ask her to call Mom and Dad. It's getting late and I don't want them worrying."

"Um, should I tell her? About the engagement?"

"Whatever you want to do, beautiful. I don't expect it to be a secret. Talk on your terms, okay?"

I scrolled through my contacts and hit Alice's number. It rang once and I put the call on speakerphone.

"Bella! I was about to call your ass!"

I smiled in the darkness.

"Hello to you too, Alice."

"Hello-smello. Where are you and my brother? I expected a call hours ago but I was giving you two the benefit of the doubt."

"Well, we're about a half hour from Seattle. We stayed at my dad's longer than expected."

I heard Alice sigh on the other end. I really should have called her sometime over the trip but I honestly never thought about it.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I should have called you earlier. Things just, um, well … oh, I'm just going to spit it out. Edward proposed. We're engaged!"

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the line, and then a loud squeal. I pulled the phone away from my face, and Edward laughed at the sound of Alice's banshee cry as it filled the car. I could hear Alice making the news known to whoever was with her and the unmistakable sound of Emmett's booming laughter.

"Oh my gosh, Bella! I'm so happy for you two! Tell Edward that too. Jazz, Rose and Em are here. I just told them too. Everyone sends their congrats. When did this happen? You better not tell me two days ago and that you're just now getting around to telling me!"

"Thanks, Alice. Edward heard you. I have you on speakerphone. It's all surreal now, you know? I mean, Edward asked Carlisle and Esme before the trip, and then asked my parents during the trip. He just proposed a few hours ago on my dad's front porch."

Another squeal.

"That's so romantic and so Edwardian. Way to go, Big Brother!"

"Thanks, Al. I'm just glad she said yes. Listen, we're dog-tired from the trip, so I'm taking Bella back to my place tonight. I'll see her to class in the morning, if you'll let the guys know so they can get her from her classes. And if you would, call Mom and Dad. I talked to them this morning but I want them to know we're back in safely."

"Okay, will do, Edward. Can I tell them about, you know, the engagement?"

Edward looked at me and I nodded.

"If you want to Alice. Bella's okay with that. Just tell them I'll talk to them tomorrow."

"Sure. Bella, I'll see you tomorrow. You need your shot and I bet you forgot your other appointment too. Remember? Mom's meeting you there. I'll take you to the clinic after your last class, okay?"

Crap! I forgot the GYN appointment tomorrow.

"Gah, I forgot it, Alice. Yes, I'll see you tomorrow and thanks again."

I hung up the phone and slumped in the seat. I hate breaking in a new doctor. There's always the explanation about my skin and I'm dreading it already. Edward must have sensed my tension.

"Dr. Reed is really nice, Bella. I'm sure everything will be professional and routine. No worries, okay?"

"Okay, it's just … ugh. _That _exam isn't one I'm looking forward to."

Edward smirked as he took my hand again.

"I can understand that but, I'm glad Dr. Reed is female. I'm the only man allowed anywhere near your lady parts. Doctor or not."

I giggled as Edward cranked up the stereo, Aerosmith blaring from the speakers as we rolled into Seattle.

It was almost eleven when we entered the apartment. It seemed like forever since we'd left for Phoenix and even longer since I'd been to Edward's place. Every time I looked at Edward's couch, my face got hot. That too seemed like eons ago. I'd left a few changes of clothes the last time, so I didn't have to worry about taking in my bags. Since I'd showered at Charlie's, all I had to do was get ready for bed. I sat my phone down on the counter and followed Edward into the kitchen. He was setting the coffee pot.

"How about a glass of wine so we can celebrate and relax before bed?"

Of course, Edward knew I was a lightweight drinker with very little experience, but it felt good to be asked. I had no idea what was a 'good' wine. It was all the same to me.

"Sure. That sounds nice."

Edward grabbed two wine glasses and a bottle of wine from the fridge.

"This is some really good Cabernet Sauvignon I bought for this occasion. I was either going to celebrate with it or drink myself stupid if you said no."

I still had a hard time believing that Edward thought I'd say anything but yes. I walked over to where he stood pouring the wine and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Edward, there wasn't a second that I thought of saying no. Yes, it was a total surprise and people may think this has all happened too soon, but I love you. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. Please stop doubting that."

Edward sighed and handed me a glass of wine.

"Bella, I feel the same way. I've been dreaming of this moment for awhile. I just want you to be happy, beautiful. Thank you for making me the luckiest man on the damn planet. He held his glass to mine. "To us being together forever, Bella. I love you, baby."

"To our happiness. I love you, Edward Anthony Cullen."

We clinked our raised glasses and drank the wine. It was wonderful. After I'd had several glasses, I was beginning to feel the slow warmth from the alcohol creeping up from my belly. I guess it made me ten foot tall and brave. I drained my glass and sat it on the counter.

"Hmm. Edward?"

"Yes?" he asked as he finished his drink.

"I think you promised me some special attention. Am I wrong?"

Edward made a low, growling noise as he turned to look at me. His eyes were feral and his body tensed like a lion ready to pounce on his prey. I felt exposed but the thrill was there, deep in my blood.

"Why, yes I did, Miss Swan. Are you asking me to pay up?"

"I think I'd like you to pay in full … now."

Edward stepped closer to me. My eyes huge, my breathing was coming in short spurts and adrenaline was coursing through my veins. In a quick move he threw me over his shoulder and bolted for the stairs.

"Oh, you shouldn't have said that, love. I intend to pay you specialized and lengthy attention. I hope you slept well on the plane."

I giggled as he smacked my ass before he threw me onto the bed. It was almost completely dark. The only light was coming from the kitchen downstairs.

"Is that funny to you? Hmm … where to start with you? I think I'll start here," Edward said huskily as he pulled my top over my head and tossed it into the darkness of the room.

He made quick work of my simple white bra and it joined my top in the floor somewhere. My skin was much improved with all the extra attention Edward had been giving by applying thick cream at night. I was almost able to forget the psoriasis existed.

Edward lowered his head and our mouths met. I could taste the sweetness from the wine on his lips as we kissed. Our tongues stroking each other as the kiss deepened until I was breathless. He began his journey by kissing down the side of my neck and onto my shoulders.

"I can't begin to describe how sweet your skin is, baby. I could kiss you all day."

Skilled fingers joined the party as the fondled my breasts. Pulling and twisting, just right, until his lips closed around one of my pebbled nipples. His mouth was warm and the air cool as he suckled on one breast and then the other. I tried to be still but his mouth sucking and lapping my skin was enough to edge me ever so close …

His hands then trailed down my ribs until he met the top of my jeans.

"These have gotta go, baby."

He unsnapped my jeans and pulled them down my legs, leaving me in just my panties. Not just any panties either.

"Pink Hello Kitty panties? Sweet Lord, Bella. Are these from your room in Phoenix?"

Yes, I'd packed my Hello Kitty panties in the shipment to Forks. Edward had made several jokes about 'how the thought of me in those panties turned him on'. When I went to my room at Charlie's to get dressed earlier, I found them and decided to surprise Edward.

"Um, yes. Do you like?" I asked, feeling the blush tint my cheeks.

Edward sat back on his knees between my legs. His fingers running feathery light over the waistband and down in between my thighs. His eyes dark and hooded.

"Yes, I do, Bella. Sexy. Very sexy."

He hooked his thumbs under the elastic and pulled them down, ever so slowly. When I was completely bare before him his touches remained soft over the exposed skin of my sex.

"So beautiful. I'm going to continue to worship this glorious body now, every single inch of it."

Edward lowered his body and began to kiss my belly, stopping to tongue my belly button. His hands stroking the my lower lips in slow, lazy passes. His mouth drawing closer to where my body was craving his touch. My breathing was shallow and I was lightheaded from all the sensations he was bringing to my body.

"Please …"

I didn't have to finish my request. Edward's mouth descended steadily toward my aching center. His fingers spread me apart and he licked from top to bottom. I couldn't stop the moan from my lips as he pleasured me with his mouth and fingers. I was so close … so close. My breathing erratic and my body like a live electrical wire.

"So responsive. Damn! Don't hold back, Bella. I can tell you're close. Come hard for me, baby."

That was the final nail in my orgasmic coffin. The heat swelled from deep inside and exploded into the night air in gasps and cries of ecstasy. Edward took all I offered, extending my climax as he laved my clit in just the right way. My body trembling as I came back down from my high.

Edward crawled up my body and kissed me hard. I could taste myself on his lips as he aligned himself with my entrance. In one fluid motion he entered me fully. Our eyes met and I almost melted at the love radiating from his green depths.

"Bella. I never get tired of feeling you around me. I'm going to make sweet love to my fiancé now."

I couldn't talk. I was too far gone. The pace was slow and steady. Edward's lips found my sensitive flesh, teasing and nipping at my neck. His cock hitting all the right spots, my hands grabbing the toned, muscled flesh of his backside as he slid in and out. Moans and cries falling out of my mouth.

"So good, baby. So good."

I was teetering on the edge. Edward's pace quickened and his fingers rubbed where our bodies joined. I knew he was close when his eyes closed and his mouth opened slightly. I brought my hands to his chest and ran my fingernails over his nipples. His strokes faltered just before he yelled out my name and came as we tumbled over the edge of the cliff together. Edward fell in a sweaty heap by my side and I quickly pulled my body into his warmth and pulled the covers over our bodies.

We lay silent, with our hands caressing each other's bodies. Our breathing slowly returning to normal. I was too tired to get up. My eyes were heavy and my body liked where it was. I knew he was almost gone as well.

"Mmm, that was good, Edward."

"Mmmhmm, baby. You tired?"

"Yeah, I'm whipped, literally and figuratively. I love you and I'm warm and comfy right here. I don't wanna move."

"Go to sleep, baby. Alarm is set. Coffee is set. I'm not leaving your arms tonight. I love you, my beautiful fiancé."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**A/N: I know its shorter than normal, but this is a good stopping point. Maybe I'll be productive and write another chapter tomorrow. Who knows yet? I can't believe there are only five more chapters in LDTW! What a ride it has been! Let me know what you think! **


	31. Chapter 31

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 31

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment.**

**A/N: WOW! I'm just amazed at the reviews for the last few chapters and all the new readers that have joined the party or put this on alert. 600 reviews as of 1:43pm on Tuesday 3/13! Thanks so much for believing in me and my story! I forgot to thank my girls behind the scenes last chapter, kare831, twimom817 and for the first time, darcysmom. Without them, this would be illegible chicken scratch and my high school honors English teachers would come back 25 years later and kick my butt. I'm also excited to post because Sunday 3/18 is my 23rd wedding anniversary! **

_**EPOV**_

I woke up before the alarm, encased in warmth draped in chestnut hair. Bella was sound asleep, gloriously naked, her chestnut hair splayed across my chest and her tiny left hand, that now carried a true symbol of my love for her, fisting the sheet at her waist. A smile gracing her lips as she dreamt, which in turn made me smile. I'm not kidding when I say I could wake like this every day for a thousand years and I'd never tire from it.

I knew Bella's weekend had been long and tiring, so I decided I'd let her sleep as long as possible. Carefully, I slid from under her body, making sure that the covers were pulled over her before I got out of bed, turned off the alarm and pulled a scrub set out of the closet. When I had clean socks and boxers in hand, I went to shower.

I finished my morning routine quickly and donned my glasses. My eyes were still tired from the trip. Bella hadn't moved an inch. I could let her sleep thirty more minutes so I made my way downstairs, filling my travel mug with coffee and flipping on CNN to get the morning news. It was times like this that made me wish I was more of a cook, but I hadn't been to the grocery in a week or more, so there wasn't much to choose from here. Breakfast would have to come in a wrapper from McDonalds.

I heard movement upstairs and I looked at the clock. Bella was up, just in time. I went back upstairs and saw Bella, wrapped in the bed sheet as she rummaged through the dresser. I walked up behind her and startled her as I moved the hair from her shoulder and planted a wet kiss.

"Good morning, beautiful. I let you sleep a little longer this morning. The toga-look is good for you, but I think I'd prefer you clothed if you are planning on being in public."

Bella turned to me, and pulled my face closer to her lips, dropping the sheet in the process.

"I think I prefer being dressed unless it's just you and me in the bed, Edward," she said wantonly, before she kissed me softly. "Unfortunately, our schedules won't allow for that today."

I kissed her again. Damn school and work and life. Naked Bella is way too tempting.

"True, and if I stand here much longer with your delectable body naked in my arms, I'm afraid we'll never graduate. Shower's all yours, baby. I set the lotion out on the vanity. I'll see you downstairs."

Bella smiled sweetly and resumed her search for clothing. I had to get out before I took her in my arms and had my wicked way with her. With one last squeeze to her naked ass, I groaned and turned on my heel and left the room sporting a tent in my scrub pants.

Before I was truly ready to end our time alone, Bella emerged from upstairs, freshly showered and ready to go. Two travel mugs of coffee later, we were in my car bound for UW. After a quick drive through for breakfast, I pulled into campus.

"We'll get your bags tonight when I bring you home. I'm going to miss you, baby. Be safe and I'll see you this afternoon at the clinic. Love you." I said, kissing her as we reached the doorway to her first class.

"I'll be missing you too, Edward. I love you. See you this afternoon."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Edward, Miss Swan is here. I'll send her in after her injection and blood work," Maggie said, sticking her head into my office.

I'd decided several weeks ago, that I'd let Bella and Maggie take care of the Enbrel injection. My control around Bella was slim, and after the debacle that had occurred here when I almost crossed the line in the sand, I knew this was the best for both of us. I wasn't her physician anymore, and she was self-sufficient in giving her own shot.

"Thanks, Maggie."

"Oh, and that's quite a nice rock she's sporting on her left hand. It's about time you settled down and had some happiness in your life. Congratulations."

I smiled, thinking back over the weekend. Maggie smiled in return and shut the door as she left. I had a few things I needed to take care of and one would have to wait until Bella was gone. I was finishing up some charting when I heard a knock.

"Come in."

The door opened and Bella entered with a sweet smile on her face. I got up from my desk and in three strides my arms were around her waist.

"Hello, beautiful," I said as I bent down for a kiss.

"Hello, yourself. Busy day?"

"Not too bad. I knew my favorite ex-patient would be here so that's been the highlight of my afternoon. School okay?"

Even though we'd had a wonderful weekend, and Bella had made me the luckiest damn man on the planet by saying she'd be my wife, the thought of Black still crept into my subconscious. I wouldn't truly rest until he was taken off the streets and out of Bella's life.

"School was fine. Rose and Alice went nuts over the ring. Emmett walked me to my classes, calling me his new baby sister, and then Jasper and Alice picked me up from my last one and drove me over. I'm really going to have to think about buying a car. I hate that everyone has to drop what they're doing to haul me around."

Hmm. I could see Bella behind the wheel of a new baby blue C70 convertible. Her long hair blowing like ribbons in the wind. I'd have to tread lightly. I knew her finances were meager, and I didn't care about that. She comes from good, hard-working people. Getting Bella agreeable to letting me buy her a car would be tricky, but I needed her to understand that what's mine is also her's now, and I could afford it. That and one more purchase that I'd been thinking about since last Friday.

"Maybe we can look around this weekend? Just see what's out there?" I asked.

"We'll see. I'll have to check with Charlie. So, I'm going to go down to see Dr. Reed. Esme should be there now. I'll meet you back here when I'm done?"

"Okay, baby. I'll be here."

With one more kiss, I let her go and went back to work. I didn't have any patient's scheduled, since we weren't sure if I'd be in today, so I was catching up on the endless paper trail that comes with heath care and med school. When my cell rang, I answered, but I didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?"

"Yes, is this Edward Cullen?"

"Yes, how can I help you?"

"Mr. Cullen, my name is Tracy Thompson from Rite-Way Realty in Phoenix. I had a message that you were interested in a house that was just listed for sale? Is this a good time?"

"Your timing is perfect, Tracy. I've seen the property, and I'm ready to make an offer."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I was finishing the last chart when I heard my mother's voice ring down the hallway. It was after five and I was ready to go home. I shut down the computer and grabbed my briefcase.

"Edward?"

"In here, Mom."

I was greeted by the smiling face and the comforting arms of her embrace when I got to the doorway.

"Oh, Son, I'm so happy for you two!"

"Thanks, Mom. I was a nervous wreck but I'm very happy. I think Bella is too."

Mom released me and looked up into my eyes.

"She is, Edward. Every time I looked over to her when we were waiting, she was looking at the ring and smiling. Bella is such a precious girl."

"That she is, Mom. Speaking of, where is Bella?"

"Oh, Carlisle has her in the office waiting for you. I wanted to see you alone first."

"Okay, how'd the appointment with Dr. Reed go?"

"She was fine and everything checked out, Edward. I think she's come a long way in the past few months from the shy, broken girl I met. Same goes for you, Edward. I cannot tell you how it warms my heart to see the light back in your eyes."

It was true. I could hardly stand to be around myself before Bella, and now I had a future to plan, with her.

"She's amazing, Mom. I have never felt like this before. It's like she's the air I need to survive. Can I ask you something and get an honest answer?"

"Of course, Edward. What's on your mind?"

I ran my fingers through my hair, in nervousness. My parent's had strong moral values and I knew that things were expected to progress in a certain order. But I had to know where they stood. Mom has always been the one person I could talk to about anything.

"Well, I want to ask Bella to move in with me. Things are moving so fast, I know, but with Black out there, I can't relax when she's on campus because _he_ knows where she is and even with the heightened security on campus, she can't be watched around the clock. It's not fair to Em, Alice, Rose and Jazz to have to be at her beck and call, not that they aren't happy to do it. Just, keep it quiet for now. I haven't mentioned any of this to her yet."

Mom's eyes never left mine. She was silent for several minutes before she spoke.

"You have to follow your heart, Son. I doubt if Carlisle would sleep if he thought I was in any danger. With that said, you need to let Bella be in control of her life. It's important for her to make those decisions and you need to be mindful that she may not by ready for that step. Don't let your feelings get hurt if she says no. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it does. Thanks, Mom. I think I'll ask her this weekend and see what she thinks. I've asked her to go car shopping Saturday. I want to buy her a car, so she can come and go as she wants to but I'm not sure if she's going to be agreeable to that. I don't want to overload her."

"Pick your battles. Let her decide. That's the best advice I can give you, Edward. Now, let's go. Your Dad and I have a date with a bottle of red wine and the hot tub."

"TMI, Mom. I think I need bleach now to burn that image from my brain."

"Good grief, Edward. Did you think that you, Em and Alice came from Immaculate Conception?"

"Okay, okay. I get it. Let's go."

I could hear the peal of laughter from Dad's office when I opened the door. Bella's head was thrown back and her arms wrapped around her sides. Dad was chuckling along, his eyes alight with mischief.

"Oh … my …that's hysterical!"

"What are you two laughing about?" Mom said as she entered the room and sat down on the edge of Dad's desk.

Bella noticed our arrival and blushed a gorgeous shade of pink as she composed herself.

"I was just telling Bella about the time that Edward decided that putting cooking oil on the bottom of his sled would make him go faster than Emmett off the big hill at the golf course."

Mom laughed. I cringed. That wasn't one of my brightest moments. Mom jumped right in to add to my demise.

"Oh, I remember that day. Emmett had been riding Edward all morning about how his sled was faster in the snow. Edward was so competitive back then. Hated to lose, and Em knew how to push his buttons. So, he snuck into the kitchen and took a full bottle of cooking oil to coat his sled with. Needless to say, it made him fast and unable to stop when he tried to at the bottom of the hill. He flipped off the sled, the big oak tree stopped his barrel roll and the concussion and ten stitches in his head kept him from sledding the rest of the winter."

"Um, yeah. Not the smartest thing I've ever done, but man, was I fast. Beat Emmett by at least 30 seconds."

It was nice to relax and have a light conversation with Bella and my parents. We talked about the trip to Phoenix and the engagement. I was smiling from ear to ear and Bella was as well. It was after six when my stomach decided to growl like a wild animal.

"Bella, are you ready to go? I'm starving. We can stop on the way home and eat, if you'd like."

"Yeah, I'm pretty hungry, too. Thanks, Esme for going with me today. Carlisle, thanks for setting my appointment up."

"Not a problem, Bella. Please think of Carlisle and I as surrogate parents here in Seattle. Now that you're going to be my daughter as well."

Mom gave Bella a hug and Carlisle rose from his chair and came around the desk to do the same as Mom came to hug me goodbye.

"Be careful, you two. And come see us soon."

"We will. Talk to you later," I said as I took Bella's hand.

Bella and I stopped at a little diner close to campus for supper. It was quiet and we were able to get a booth in the back. After the waitress took our order, I decided to ask her about the car.

"Bella, baby, can I ask you a question and hear me out before you answer?"

Bella looked at me and nodded her head.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Well, I've been thinking about what you said earlier about needing a car. Bella, I want to help, if you'll let me," I said, seeing the panicked expression on her face. "You're going to me my wife and I want to provide for you. I have the means to do it and I rarely spend my money. Please, would you let me do this for you? You can pick out whatever you want, as long as it's safe."

Bella just sat back and looked at me. I could see the myriad of emotions cross her face. She was proud and I could appreciate that. Even at her lowest point, she was strong and amazing.

"I don't know but I'll think about your offer, Edward. I do need a car, but I don't need anything ostentatious. Just a used car will be fine. I just hate the thought of you spending more money on me. I mean, the trip, and the ring. I owe you already. Maybe I should just see if Charlie can help me with a small loan."

I know Charlie Swan loves his only child, and he'd do anything for her, but I doubted that he had thousands of dollars sitting around to buy a car with, or she'd already have one. I remembered my mother's words. Maybe I should call Charlie and see if he could talk Bella into letting me buy a car for her.

"Okay, beautiful. If that's what you want, but remember my offer stands. When we marry, legally everything I have will be yours too, including my money, but I want you to have money available to you _now_, as you need it. I don't want you to be uncomfortable about asking for or needing anything. Please."

Bella sighed and took my hand.

"I'm trying Edward, but having such ready access to money is new to me. I can't quite grasp the concept, so I'm asking you to be patient and let me come to terms with your offer, okay? I'm not saying no, just maybe."

The waitress ended the conversation when she brought out the food._ Maybe_ was better than _no_. I had hope that she'd come around. Then maybe moving in with me won't be so hard for her to decide. We ate in comfortable silence and too soon we were finished and it was time to go.

I hated dropping her off at the dorm. I wanted to take her with me … to _our_ home. I wanted her naked and in my arms in _our_ bedroom, in _our _shower, on the counter in _our_ kitchen, up against the wall in _our_ foyer. I wanted to make love to her in the morning, in the afternoon and at night. I yearned to feel her supple body melded into mine as we cuddled on the couch, watching television and as we awoke for the day. I was addicted, like she was my own personal brand of heroin. As I was driving, I thought of an idea.

"Bella, did you have any reason to go back to the dorms right away?"

Bella thought for a moment.

"No, I just have a research paper to work on tonight. Why?"

I was grasping at straws.

"Well, I was thinking about your laundry. You need to wash clothes, right?"

Bella laughed and shook her head at me.

"You were thinking about my laundry? Really, Edward?"

Okay, maybe this wasn't as smooth as I thought.

"Yeah. I was thinking that I don't want you stuck in that damn dormitory laundry room tonight. Why don't we go to my place and you can wash your clothes there? You can work on your paper and get the laundry done at the same time. I'll run you to the dorms when everything is done."

"That sounds like a good plan. I can't get a wireless signal on my iPad from the laundry room at Pattison. Are you sure? I mean, I didn't bring any detergent or anything."

I bit my tongue.

"Bella, I use detergent when I wash my clothes. I have plenty," I replied, hoping I didn't sound too harsh, but I really wished she'd relax and stop worrying about using my things.

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking."

I reached over the console and took her hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Baby, I understand what you're saying. I'm perfectly fine with you using my washer, dryer, fabric softener, detergent, iron, or whatever I have. All is yours to use as you wish, okay?"

"Okay," she said softly. "This is just going to take time for me to get used to. The engagement, and the money … I promise I'm not trying to be a martyr or difficult."

"I don't think that, baby. Let's just enjoy our evening."

I pulled into the parking garage and grabbed our bags from the trunk. Bella got out of the car with her book bag and we rode up the elevator to the loft. I handed Bella the keys and she unlocked the door and hit the security button.

I took our bags to the laundry room.

"Bella, make yourself at home. You know where everything is. I'm going to sort out the laundry and start a load."

I dumped the laundry out of our bags and began sorting into piles. Yes, I was anal about my clothes, so I read the labels and washing instructions, and made sure to sort things as they should be washed. I also found it strangely erotic to be sorting Bella's lacy panties along with my boxers_. This is how it's supposed to be. _

When I had the first load of wash and wear clothes in the washer, I came back into the living room and saw Bella on the couch, her legs tucked under her body. She looked adorable with her hair piled on top of her head, a pencil stuck in the mass of hair holding it in place. She was deep in thought, with her fingers silently typing onto the touch screen.

I knew she needed to work so I went to the kitchen and grabbed two waters from the fridge. I sat one down beside her and went to the bedroom to change clothes, donning a plain white tee and a pair of gray sweats. The bed was still a tangled mess from the night before so I decided to strip the sheets and grab the wet towels from the bathroom and add them to the pile of laundry. After I'd remade the bed and deposited the towels and linens in the laundry room, putting the finished load in the dryer and starting a load of delicates, before I joined Bella in the living room.

"I'm getting closer to being done, Edward. Thanks for making this suggestion, but I hate your doing all the work."

I chuckled, "No problem, baby. You can help me fold."

A few hours later, Bella had finished her research and we'd worked side-by-side to fold the laundry. It felt so, right, being with Bella this way. I have to admit, I was getting hard just being beside her in the steamy laundry room, especially when she told me that I was going to fold all her intimate apparel. When all the laundry was finished and packed neatly back in her bags, I still wasn't ready to let her go. I wanted her.

Bella's back was to me as she closed her last suitcase and sat it by the door. I crept up behind her and pulled her to my body, my hard cock pressing into her backside. Images of bending her over the couch and taking her hard flooded my mind.

"Edward …"

"Bella, I need you," I said as I ground my erection into her backside.

Bella's breathing quickened.

"Then have me, Edward. Please."

I growled as I spun her around in my arms and claimed her mouth. I was full of heat and testosterone. My tongue plunged into her hot mouth and stroked her ready tongue. My hands brushing across her breasts as I found the hem of her shirt. I pulled it over her head, breaking the kiss.

Bella's ample chest heaved as my fingers found the front clasp of her bra. I released her perfect mounds into my waiting hands. Pulling and tweaking at her nipples before taking first one rosebud and then the other into my mouth.

"Ah …yes … Edward. So … good."

"You like that, baby? When I suck on your sweet nipples?"

"Yes! Oh god …"

My teeth scraped ever so lightly over her hardened peaks, eliciting a chorus of moans and pleas from Bella.

My hands found the snap of her jeans. I made quick work of the snap and lowered the zipper, without losing contact with her breasts. Bella's hands grasped roughly into my hair, making me even harder than before.

Once the jeans were out of the way, I hooked my thumbs into her cotton panties. Slowly and deliberately I lowered them down her legs and tossed them out of our way. My fingers crossed her heated flesh until they were nestled into the moisture that was pooling between her thighs. My fingers stroking her little pearl of nerves.

"So wet for me. Tell me I'm the only one that can make you feel like this. Tell me, baby," I plead as I entered her with two fingers, curling as I set a slow pace.

"Oh … oh …Only you … Edward."

I grabbed one of her hands from my hair and placed it on my cock.

"Do you feel that? How hard I am? That's all you, beautiful. No one else has ever made me feel this way."

Bella moaned again as I met her with a searing kiss. Her hand began to move, slowly over my cock.

"Too many clothes. Take … them … off."

I released her and shucked the tee over my head and rid myself of my sweats and boxers in one motion. Bella's hand never faltering as she stroked and then she knelt down before me. She looked up into my eyes and placed a kiss on the head of my cock. I pulled the pencil from her hair, letting it spill down over her shoulders. My hands tangling into her tresses as her hot little mouth lowered over my erection.

"Fuuuuuck … Bella."

She licked and sucked, letting her teeth graze over my length, her little hand pumping at the base. I was losing myself in the feeling of her pleasuring me this way. I was getting close and I didn't want to come in her mouth.

"Baby … too close. I want to taste you."

Bella released my cock and I pulled her up to stand. I grabbed under her ass and lifted her onto the washer. I placed her legs over my shoulders and dove face first into her sweet arousal. Bella gasped. I flattened my tongue and lapped at her slit, drinking in all the goodness she had for me. I spread her open and nipped at her swollen clit. Her hips bucked and her hands wove into my hair again, holing me tightly to her pussy.

"So sweet …so good…baby," I sputtered as I teased her entrance with my tongue. I fucked her with my fingers and tongue, bringing her closer to her climax. Her breathing coming in short pants. I could feel her walls fluttering around me.

"That's it baby. Let go for me."

Her back arched as she came and it took all my strength to keep her upright on the washing machine. I didn't wait for her to come down before I removed her legs from my shoulders and pulled her ass to the edge of the washing machine top. She leaned back onto her elbows and in one move, I drove my cock into her depths and began making long, deep strokes into her warmth.

"Shit, baby. So tight. Your pussy was made for my cock."

"Yes, yes, yes!"

The emotion, too intense. The feelings, too powerful to reign in. My strokes sped up. I felt the sweat from my hair roll down my face and back. Bella's skin slick for her perspiration as I brought us closer to the edge of reality.

"Ah …Ed … ward … I'm … gonna …come …oh …oh…"

I knew as soon as she went I'd be right behind her.

"Fuck yes, baby. I can feel your pussy shaking around me. Come all over my cock. Take us over the edge."

Bella's walls contracted and began to spasm as she met her release with my name said like a prayer on her lips, and in turn, bringing me to my orgasm as I shouted her name to the heavens. I filled her in long, powerful streams that I wasn't sure would ever end. Yeah, it was that good.

My head collapsing on her chest as our bodies struggled to regain normalcy. We were both sweaty messes and I knew Bella would need a shower. When we were somewhat back to normal I raised my head and was met with the deep brown eyes of my love. A smile gracing her beautiful face as she leaned in and kissed me sweetly.

"Thank you. I'll never think of laundry the same."

I laughed.

"Me either, baby. Maybe we need to make it our mission to christen every room in the house."

Bella giggled as I picked her up and set her to stand.

"Come on. I know we both need a shower and as much as I hate to, I've got to get you back to Pattison. Just leave the dirty clothes here, and I'll have them for you the next time you're over."

I led her to the small bathroom that was adjacent to the laundry room. My mom had insisted that I install a walk-in shower here, just in case. I never knew what "just in case" meant, until now. I started the water and stepped inside, pulling Bella in with me. We washed our lovemaking from each other's bodies and stole a few more touches and kisses along the way. When we were done, we dried and dressed. I didn't have any lotion for her skin but she promised she'd moisturize when she got back to the dorms.

Sadly, it was time. We made our way to the car, her luggage in tow. I didn't call the guys because I wanted to walk her in. I'd call them from the lobby. Bella's cell rang as we got ready to pull out of the parking garage. Bella fished around in her bag and pulled out the phone. She smiled when she saw the name on the screen.

"Hey, Dad. I'm sorry I forgot to call you last night …"

Bella hushed and her face paled. She nodded silently as tears pooled in her eyes. I was getting scared that something was terribly wrong. I shut off the car. I waited on pins and needles as she listened to Charlie. Before I could ask Bella blindly handed me the phone. I put it to my ear.

"Charlie? It's Edward. Is everything alright?"

"Edward, I just got off the phone with Detective Perry. They've got a lead on Jacob Black. Evidently he runs with a pack of guys that used to live near Forks on the Quileute Indian reservation. A few of them got busted last night in a drug raid, and they were all too happy to sing about who they got their stash from. They haven't seen him in a week or more, but they have a positive I.D. He's always evaded the cops and it seems like he did again this time, but now they have more to work with. His boys say he's got an addiction to women and cocaine, and the guys have been keeping the stash at their place. He'll need a fix soon, so surveillance has been set up to nab him when he comes around. This is good news, Edward. He'll slip up soon and we'll nail his ass to the wall."

I let out the breath I wasn't aware I'd been holding. They're on his trail. Soon this would all be over. Bella was shaking as she watched me listen to her dad.

"That's great news, Charlie. If Bella's agreeable, I want to keep her at my place until he's caught. If he gets nervous, he may come after her and I can't bear the thought of putting her in that position."

"I think that's a good idea. The boy isn't stable, and add the drugs; well it's just too damn dangerous. Detective Perry can get her excused from living on campus and get her excused from classes. I know it may put her behind, but that's my baby girl. I want her safe, Edward. I'm on stand-by to take off work here as soon as I'm needed. Put Bella back on the phone and thanks for being there for her, Edward."

"Of course. Here she is."

I handed Bella back her phone and rubbed my hands over my face. The poor girl can't catch a break. Most of her life has been misery and isolated. They better catch this bastard soon or I may kill him with my bear hands when they do.

Bella hung up her phone and took a deep breath.

"I guess you've gotten a roommate for awhile. I just hope this is all over soon. I need normal, Edward. I'm scared and so tired of this."

"I know, baby. I am too. They've got him cornered. It's all going to end soon. Come on. Let's get back in. We can watch a cheesy chick flick and snack on popcorn. Sound good?"

"Yeah. That sounds great. I love you, Edward. I can't say that enough."

"I love you too, baby. I'll keep you safe. I promise."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXO

_**JPOV**_

The blonde laying stoned beside me had moves, I'll give her that. I swear she could suck the chrome off a bumper, and I'd tested that theory numerous times the past few days we'd been holed up in her apartment. The line we'd snorted earlier made me feel like Superman and made her insatiable. I'd fucked her more times than I could count in the past few hours and she kept asking for more. I was damn lucky to find such a hot piece of pussy while I was waiting for that damn Cullen fucker to get home with my Bella. The best I could tell, they'd gone out of town because I'd not laid eyes on either of them in several days. I was tired of playing games with them. I wanted her and I'd have her in every way I desired. I was working on a plan to get those fucking guard dogs off her ass every time she moved from one place to another. They just didn't know what they were dealing with. I would win. I always did. My cock was hard just thinking about Bella. This girl would have to do, for now.

"Tanya, get on your knees and suck my dick. Then if you're lucky, I'll fuck your ass with it and give you another line."

The blonde wasted no time in complying with my wishes. Soon and very soon, this artificial blonde slut would be replaced by my dark haired angel.

**A/N: Well, the drama is about to unfold. What does Jake have planned? And that damn Tanya … things will pick up pace now. Hang with me. Thanks so much for sticking with me during this ride. I know many of you have said you'll be sad to see LDTW end. I will be too. But I promise to try to make it as enjoyable as I can until the end. Let me know what you think! **


	32. Chapter 32

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 32

I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment.

**A/N: You guys never cease to amaze me. Such powerful reviews! Thanks so much. I'm sorry I didn't do review replies last week. With Ffn down, all 60+ reviews came in at once and RL trumped me this week. I promise I read each one and hope to not shirk on my replies this week. Things start moving along quicker now, so here we go. (Yes, I think of the Bud Light commercial with the rescue dog when I say that, LOL) See you at the bottom! **

_**BPOV**_

Edward grabbed my bags and led me back to the apartment. Things had just gotten crazy and I was almost in a trance. Jacob was out there, messed up on drugs and biding his time. If he was a smart criminal, he _would know _the police were getting closer to catching him, and he'd be extra careful and maybe more desperate. I felt like my free will had been taken away and now I was the prisoner. Life was going great and now …

"Baby, come on in and let's get you settled. I need to make a few calls. Let the others know what's going on, okay?"

My mind was in a vortex. I'd held on to the idea that Jacob wasn't truly a bad guy. That he just had some misguided infatuation with me. Obviously I'd been very wrong and very lucky. It was all so overwhelming and my biggest fear wasn't for myself, but for my friends that had been keeping watch over me the past weeks. If one of them got hurt because of me ... I'd never get over that. Edward walked to the couch and eased me onto the cushions.

"Bella, do you want something to drink?"

"Yeah, something stronger than water, please," I replied humorlessly.

Edward chuckled slightly and kissed my cheek, "Okay, beautiful. I have some beer in the fridge. Be right back."

Edward went to the kitchen and came back with two cold bottles of Bud Light. He handed me one. I thanked him and took a huge swig of the bitter drink, making a face as the beer went down my throat.

"Easy, baby. It's not a sweet drink like you're used to."

We sat on the couch, drinking our beer and flipping through the channels on the television until we settled on a Stars Wars marathon. My mind was elsewhere. Soon I was getting sleepy and I grabbed his arm when he made the move to leave to make his calls.

"Can you make your calls here? I mean, I just don't want to be alone right now," I plead.

Edward sat down beside me and held my face in his hands.

"I won't leave you, Bella. Please try not to worry and cause your psoriasis to flare. I promise to keep you safe from that bastard. I love you too much for anything else."

"I know you do, Edward. I love you and I'll be okay. I just need some time to process this new information."

He took his phone from his pocket and punched in the number. I listened and began to drift off to sleep against his side while he recapped the information Charlie had given us, first to his parents, then to Jasper and Emmett.

"_She's holding up, Mom. I just wish he'd hurry up and show his face so this will all be over. Tomorrow. Eight a.m. That sounds good and yes, I'll tell her. Love you too."_

"_Let me know if you see anything that will help, Jazz. She's worried about the girls. Watch out for them. Don't let them go anywhere alone. Bella won't be back on campus till this is over."_

"_Em, you can't go all vigilante on me now. Just keep an eye out and watch for Rose and Alice. Yeah, I'm keeping her here with me. Okay. I'll talk to you later." _

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Early morning sunlight streamed through the windows as I stretched. I didn't remember going to sleep and sure didn't recall how I got to bed. Edward's side was vacant, but appeared slept in as I came to realize I'd slept dreamlessly through the night. I sat up in the bed, gathering my bearings and seeing that it was just six o'clock. Noticing that Edward must have packed me to bed and changed me out of my clothes as well made me warm with love for him. I was so lucky to have a man like Edward in my life,

I crawled from the bed and followed the scent of freshly brewed coffee down the stairs. The apartment was quiet. The lights were off except a glow from his office down the hallway.

"Edward?"

"In here, love."

I poured a mug of coffee and found Edward in his office, sorting though papers and dressed in his scrubs. His hair was a chaotic mess on top of his head and his sexy glasses perched on his nose. I felt a pang of panic in my gut as I realized that Edward would have to leave me and go to school.

"Good morning. I'm sorry I fell asleep on you last night. I think my body just had enough for one day."

Edward looked up from his work and a lazy smile graced his tired face as he gazed over my scantily clad body. He looked like he hadn't slept well and I knew the reason and the thought that I'd indirectly caused his a sleepless night pained me. The dark circles under his eyes just amplified those facts.

"Morning, beautiful. I'm not ever going to complain about getting the chance to undress you, even if you are out like a light," he said as he popped his neck and stood from the chair, walking toward me.

"You look so tired, Edward. Didn't you sleep?" I asked as I sat my mug on the table by the desk.

He sighed and I ran my fingers through his hair. He grasped me by the waist and held me close to his body.

"I slept a little, baby and I held you when I was awake. I just had a lot on my mind and it wouldn't turn off. It's okay though, as long as you feel better this morning. Med school students get used to lack of sleep. I'll be fine, so no worrying about me. Now, I need a kiss from my hot fiancée before I can face the day."

I stretched my neck and he met me halfway as our mouths met in a sweet, tender kiss.

"Mmm, I need another, Dr. Cullen."

He laughed and kissed me again, letting his hands roam over my naked backside.

"You're insatiable, Miss Swan. Your fiancé is one lucky man."

"Well, don't tell him, but I've got this thing for a certain med student. Super hot guy. He makes my eyes roll back in my head when he …"

Edward's eyes darkened and he spun my body around until I was facing the desk. One hand stayed on my hips as he moved my hair over my shoulder with the other and began nipping at the back of my neck. I could feel the heat from his prominent erection as it brushed my backside. My heart was racing and I almost forgot to breathe, as he licked and sucked on the sensitive skin behind my ear.

"You know, this has been a fantasy of mine ever since I first brought you here. Fucking you, here … on my desk," he growled into my ear, inching the tee up my back and over my head.

I gasped at his words and didn't have time to think of anything but wanting to be immediately fucked on this desk. I was fueled by primal desire and want. I could feel the heat from his breath against my bare skin as he gently bent me forward until my upper body was lying prone over his desk, my feet still firmly on the ground. I gasped as his hands ran the planes of my back and ended on the cheeks of my bottom. He kneaded the flesh causing a low groan from deep in his chest.

"There should be sonnets written about this ass, baby. So firm, round and sexy. All mine."

"Edward … please …" I sputtered.

It probably wasn't healthy to use sex to forget the pain in our lives, but we both needed each other in a way that only the union of our bodies could quell. Edward lowered his scrub pants and the feel of his long, thick cock against the flesh of my backside had me quivering in anticipation. His fingers grazing over the puckered and taboo area between my cheeks as they slid further down between my thighs.

He teased and pinched roughly at my clit making me moan and buck against his hand. Long, talented fingers dipped into my entrance, curling and sending tingling warmth over my body. Over and over, the motions were repeated until I was a slick, shaky mess. Edward spread my legs further apart with a nudge of his foot on mine and positioned himself at my entrance.

"I'm going to fuck you now, Miss Swan. I can't stay away from you any longer."

"Yes, fuck me, Edward!"

He growled again and held me still as he slowly slid inside until his body was flush with mine. He moved within me with deep strokes, rotating his hips and hitting all the spots inside me that drive me wild. It felt so deep and erotic this way. So right.

"UNG! That feels so good, Edward. Don't stop!"

"I'm not stopping, beautiful. You feel amazing this way. So fucking tight around me. Damn!"

His hands snaked under my shoulders and raised me slightly from my position on the desk. My nipples were hard enough to cut glass from the friction and the cool air hitting them made them ache. Warm hands soon covered both peaks, caressing and stimulating my nipples, adding to the fire that was building deep inside my belly. His pace in and out of me never relenting.

I could feel my climax drawing nearer and nearer. Nonsensical words and sounds falling from my lips as he brought me closer and closer to the edge of reality.

"Oh, shit, I'm close!" I panted.

One arm moved securely around my waist as the other found my throbbing center. His fingers moved over my clit with the rhythm of his cock pounding my body into complete submission. Soon my legs were quaking with my impending orgasm, so much stronger than ever before.

"Oh, fuck yes. Let go for me, baby. I want to hear you when you come."

His pace sped, as did his ministrations on my bundle of nerves.

"Ahhhhh! Edward! Ahhhhh!" I shouted as my body succumbed to his.

"Bella! Shit!" Edward responded as I felt his body shake and let go deep inside of me.

His body spasmed and rested heavily on my back as my body slid back flush with the desk. We stayed still, with the sounds of our labored breathing and words of our love floating thorough the chilled morning air.

"Now, _that's _the way to start the morning," Edward said as he separated our connection and eased us off the desk. His arms around my body as he turned me to face him. "That wasn't too rough was it? I kind of lost control."

"I'm certainly not complaining, Edward. But I, um … probably need to shower," I replied with a laugh. "I feel a little squishy."

Edward laughed with me and kissed my temple.

"Go on. I'll still be here when you're finished. You fell asleep last night before I got a chance to talk to you so we can talk a bit before I go to class. Sound good?"

"Sure. I'll be right back."

After I was showered and dressed, I went back downstairs and found Edward sitting at the table in the kitchen. Pancakes and sliced fruit, along with hot coffee were waiting for me.

"I fixed breakfast. I hope pancakes are okay. We need to go to the store, since you're going to be staying with me awhile."

"It smells wonderful. I'm starving," I said as I sat down and poured maple syrup over my pancakes and dug into the wonderful, buttery goodness. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

Edward looked nervous as he pushed his food around on his plate.

"Please don't get mad, okay? Esme asked if she could come over and stay with you today, while I'm at school. I know you're an adult and don't need a babysitter, but with everything that's going on, I just hated the thought of you being cooped up here alone all day. She thought you might want some girl time."

I loved Esme. Yes, I felt like I was being bounced from one place to another and I didn't feel like I needed protection inside Edward's apartment, with its state of the art security. I doubted if Jake even knew about this place. But I wasn't going to be upset about it today. Tomorrow, well we'll have to talk about that.

"That's cool for today, but seriously, I don't need round-the-clock caregivers. I'll work on my reading for school tomorrow. What time is she coming?"

"Fair enough. And she'll be here at eight. I have to be at clinicals at eight-thirty."

"Okay."

We finished breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen when there was a knock on the door. Edward answered it and Esme met me with a brilliant smile as I exited the kitchen.

"Bella, thank you for letting me come over. Edward, you better scoot. You don't want to be late."

I laughed at her motherly ways and Edward ducked in to kiss her cheek.

"Yes, Mother. I'm going," he said cheekily before he turned to kiss me. "I love you, beautiful. I'll see you tonight."

"Love you too. Be careful."

Esme and I laughed and talked most of the morning. Being around her was different than being with Renee. Not better, but more laid back. She shared stories about Edward during his childhood and asked me about mine, not causing me any discomfort when I answered.

I heard my cell beep from upstairs with a new e-mail.

"That's my phone. I'll be right back."

"Take your time, dear. I'm going to see what I can rummage up for our lunch."

I bound up the stairs and found my phone on the dresser. I was a little surprised when I saw an unknown number and contact name on my phone, but opened the e-mail anyway expecting it to be a mass email from Apple or Café Press. My throat constricted and I felt faint as I read over the words on the screen.

_Listen to me and listen good, Bella and no one gets hurt. You find a way to get rid of Mama Cullen and meet me in the alley entrance to the parking garage in ten minutes. I'm watching so don't do anything stupid or your Edward will suffer for it with his life. Maybe your guard dogs on campus too. You have exactly ten minutes from the time stamp on this message before I make a call to a few friends in low places who are on stand by to follow my direct orders to the letter. No phone. Just you. Time starts now. Jake_

What was I going to do? Esme will never let me leave this apartment! I can't let Edward or the others get hurt because of me! He wants me and if I go to him now, everyone will be spared. Oh, god. Edward. He'll be beside himself if I follow Jake's instructions, but what can I do!

I ran to the bathroom and vomited into the trashcan. My mind was racing and the time was ticking against me. I had to do something fast. I locked the door and began to sob. I sent a reply text. Hoping it would buy me a few more minutes.

_Please, Jake don't hurt anyone because of me. I'll find a way to get to you. Bella_

I scrambled back to Edward's room and found a pen and paper. I had to leave something for him or Esme to find after I was gone, so he knew I loved him and that I was doing this for his protection. Everyone had been working their asses off to keep me safe, and now kismet was allowing me to repay them all. I wrote as fast as I could.

_Edward, _

_I'm so sorry but I didn't know what else to do. Don't be upset with Esme. I lied to her to get her away from danger. Edward, I'm scared. He threatened your life and the lives of your family. I can't let that happen. All of you have done so much for me. Rebuilding my confidence, keeping me safe from Jake, and most of all for showing me what its like to feel love and return that love. Know that I love you so much it's ripping my heart into shreds with the thought of what I have to do. I have only a few minutes. Please, don't try to come after me. I'll do all that I can to return to you. Tell Charlie and Renee that I love them. Please be strong, for me. _

_All my love forever, _

_Bella_

I sat the note and my silenced cell phone on the dresser. I ran to the top of the stairs and yelled for Esme. I just hoped she bought my feeble acting skills.

"Esme! Can you come here a minute please?"

Esme came to the foot of the stairs with a concerned look on her face.

"What is it, Bella?"

"Um, do you have a tampon or a pad? I've um, started my period and I don't have anything here."

Esme shook her head with a sympathized expression.

"No, sweetheart, I don't. I haven't had that curse in several years now."

"Well, um, I hate to ask, but could you maybe run to the store and get a box of tampons for me? I'm kind of in a mess."

Esme nodded her head.

"Of course, dear. Why don't you hop in the shower and I'll run to the CVS down the street. I won't be but about fifteen minutes, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, Esme. I appreciate it."

"It happens to all of us at one time or another. Now, get in that shower. I'll be right back."

I started the shower and listened for the sound of the alarm being turned on and the door shutting behind her as she left. I hadn't had a period since I'd met Edward, and because of the Depo shots I only had two or three periods a year, so if she called him, he wouldn't be shocked. I gave her a few minutes to get out of the garage before I ran down the stairs. Adrenaline pumped through my veins as I reset the alarm and bolted out the door. I took the service stairs and came out on the alley side of the garage. I didn't look around to see if anyone saw me. My main objective was to get to Jake before he sent a hit out on Edward and his family. I was breathless when I reached the street entrance. I looked to my left as strong arms encircled me from the right. One hand over my mouth and one around my middle.

"That's a good girl, Bella. You had fifteen seconds to spare," he crooned in my ear causing my stomach to churn and bile to rise in my throat. "You just behave and do what I say and nobody will get hurt, okay. Let's go."

I was led, stumbling to an old, red VW Rabbit that was idling on the street in the shadow of the deserted alleyway. Jake patted me down to make sure I didn't have my phone on me and then shoved me into the back seat in a fetal position. Duct tape covered my mouth within seconds and bound my feet and hands. My eyes were blinded with a red handkerchief. Tears of pain from the binds and from my broken heart streamed down my face in clear rivers. The door slammed shut and Jake got in the drivers seat and sped out of the alley into the Seattle traffic.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**EPOV**_

Clinicals were a pain in my ass today. Lack of sleep and worry over Bella had me out of sorts and off my game. Somehow I managed to only piss one attending physician off and a slew of middle-aged nurses with my head-in-ass behavior and I was never so glad when the shift was over. I had a warm and willing Bella waiting for me at home and I was ready to get home to her.

Home with Bella. Hopefully soon that would come to fruition. I had her there now, and even though it wasn't under perfect circumstances, it was a trail run of sorts so maybe it would make her agreeable to my offer to move in permanently.

Esme, bless her heart, had offered to come and hang out all day, so maybe Bella would relax and confide in her if she had any worries that she wasn't sharing with me. I know girls like to talk and all.

I was almost to my car when I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled the cell from my pocket and saw it was Esme.

"Mom?"

I could hear her panicked breathing as she began to talk.

"Oh, Edward. I'm so sorry!"

"What for, Mom? Come on, your scaring me. Is it Bella? Dad? Em? Alice?"

I heard the phone rustle and Dad's voice come over the line.

"Son, where are you now?"

"I'm in my car getting ready to head home. What the fuck is going on, Dad?"

"It's Bella, Edward. Come home and we'll talk here."

"What the hell has happened? Why is Mom sorry? Talk to me! Put Bella on the phone!"

Dad sighed and spoke, "Son, listen to me. Bella isn't here. Something has happened and I need you home. We'll fill you in then. I'll see you in ten minutes."

I threw my phone into the front panel of my car, cracking the woodwork in frustration and flew out of the lot like demons were on my tail. Something bad had happened and I had to get home.

Bella.

Oh God, please not Bella. No! No! No!

I broke every traffic law as I skidded sideways into the garage. I flew up the service stairs and burst into the apartment to the shocked and teary faces of my parents and stern looks from two Seattle police officers and Detective Perry.

"Somebody better tell me what the fuck is going on! Where the hell is Bella?"

Detective Perry spoke first.

"Edward, I know you're upset. Come in and have a seat. We'll explain everything to you. I've also spoken to Chief Swan and he is on the way here from Forks. He will contact Bella's mother."

I looked wildly around the apartment. Dad was holding Mom in his arms as she cried inconsolably. The uniformed officers were holding Bella's phone and a piece of paper as they made notes on their pads. Somehow I willed my feet to move and I collapsed in my recliner.

"Edward, I'm … so … sorry. I …shouldn't have … left," Mom said as she continued to cry.

I turned to Detective Perry. I needed fucking answers now!

"What happened? Is it that fucking Black? How the hell did he get to her here?"

Detective Perry spoke in an authoritative voice.

"This is what we know. Bella received an e-mail on her phone around two-seventeen p.m. from an unknown name and number but she didn't erase the message. It was from Jacob Black, telling her that she had ten minutes to meet him outside the parking garage or he'd have someone end your life, Edward, and the lives of her roommates and their boyfriends. Bella wrote you a note and left her phone on the dresser. She then proceeded to convince Mrs. Cullen that she had started her menstrual cycle and needed her to get sanitary items from the pharmacy. When Mrs. Cullen left, Bella must have left behind her."

Detective Perry paused and looked first to me, and then my parents, and then brought attention back to me. I knew this is where the story goes bad. I steeled my nerves for the worst and my hands balled into fists at my side. My fingernails digging into the flesh of my palms. Detective Perry cleared his throat and continued.

"The alarm was set on the door and the shower was running when Mrs. Cullen arrived back to your apartment. There was no sign of forced entry or struggle, so we assume that Bella left of her on accord, and was undoubtedly scared to not follow his instructions. We will be checking the surveillance videos from the apartment security company to see if we can gather any footage of Mr. Black and Bella outside the apartment. We found a roll of duct tape and fresh skid marks from a compact-sized car in the alleyway behind the parking garage. That was approximately thirty-three minutes ago. We have an APB out for Bella, Black and any suspicious compact-sized cars, as well as officers watching the apartment where he believes his drugs are being stored. We're using all available manpower, Edward. For now, you have to keep strong, for Bella. I have to think that since Black is obsessed, that he won't injure her right away. Bella is a smart young lady. We will find her. Now, is there anything unusual that has happened since we last spoke that might be useful in finding Bella? Phone calls? Texts?"

All the air whooshed from my lungs. I felt light-headed and nauseated. That bastard had my Bella. Oh, sweet Jesus. If he violates her in ANY way, I'll kill him. Please, please, God.

"Edward? Can you think of anything that would help Detective Perry?" Dad asked firmly, bringing me out of my funk.

"Um, she had a call from a number she didn't recognize when we were coming home from Forks Sunday night. When she answered, no one spoke on the other end. We didn't think anything of it. I don't know of anything else."

"Let us know if you think of anything else, Edward. We're running traces on all calls, messages and e-mails to and from her cell in the past three months so hopefully we'll get a useful hit. We've gotten everything we need here so we're going to leave now and get back to the station to work on the information we have. I'm leaving you the note she wrote. It was left expressly for you, and I've made a copy of it for our records on your scanner. I promise that we're doing everything we can to bring Bella back home to you. We will be in touch soon."

I couldn't get up from my seat. Dad escorted the officers out of the apartment. Detective Perry handed me the note Bella had written and clasped my shoulder before he left. Mom came and wrapped her arms around me and I melted in her embrace, crying tears of heartbreak and anguish over my Bella. Dad brought me a glass of water and a couple of pills to take to help me sleep. I didn't want them, but also had no fight left in myself. I swallowed the pills and began to pace the length of the living room.

Where was she? Had he hurt her in any way? Too many questions flooded my brain. Mom and Dad stayed awhile, until I asked them to leave. I needed to be alone with my thoughts. After they left, I went upstairs and fell into the bed, letting Bella's scent on the sheets and pillows envelop me. Only then did I allow my self to read the words she'd penned before she left;

_Edward, _

_I'm so sorry but I didn't know what else to do. Don't be upset with Esme. I lied to her to get her away from danger. Edward, I'm scared. He threatened your life and the lives of your family. I can't let that happen. All of you have done so much for me. Rebuilding my confidence, keeping me safe from Jake, and most of all for showing me what its like to feel love and return that love. Know that I love you so much it's ripping my heart into shreds with the thought of what I have to do. I have only a few minutes. Please, don't try to come after me. I'll do all that I can to return to you. Tell Charlie and Renee that I love them. Please be strong, for me. _

_All my love forever, _

_Bella_

With those words, I curled my body into the sheets and prayed as I cried myself into a fitful, drug-induced sleep;

_Dear God, please watch over Bella. I love her more than my life. I cannot go on without her. She's so kind and loving. Protect her and bring her home to me. Please._

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOX

**A/N: Okay, I'm going to go far away and hide now…I hate a cliffie, but this is where it needed to end. Please let me know what you think! Last but not least, many, many heartfelt thanks to my Dermatologistward team, twimom817, kare831 and darcysmom for all you do for me, both as a friend and as a writer. See you all next weekend! **


	33. Chapter 33

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 33

I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment.

**A/N: Happy April Fool's Day! I'm ducking from under cover now … Lol. You guys really surprised me with your reviews and PM responses. Most everyone knew this day was inevitable, so thank so much for your patience and support. Hopefully I didn't scare anyone away. Know this, I do not love writing high angst and pain, so let's hope this "Jake Issue" gets resolved soon. As always I couldn't do this without kare831, twimom817 and darcysmom having my back and wielding those red pens. So, it's time. Please hang with me…**

_**BPOV**_

It seemed like hours since I'd been confined to the backseat of Jake's car. The smell of gasoline and old vinyl permeated my senses as I struggled to keep up with the motion of the car and the sounds around me. My mouth was dry and my stomach burned. My feet and hands ached from the binding around them. I'd long since quit trying to remove the tape that clung to my skin. It was burning useless energy, and I knew the sick aftermath would further trauma my fragile skin. I'd managed to move the handkerchief slightly and though I couldn't really see anything, I could detect movement and flashes of light from the oncoming cars.

Jake had been almost completely silent the entire time. We'd made only one stop along the way and I knew from the slam of his door and his cursing and heavy breathing, he wasn't happy about whatever had conspired.

At least for now we were alone. I wanted to talk to him. Find out why he was doing this. Try to reason with him, but I hadn't had the opportunity. I felt the car slow and the sound of pavement changed to gravel. The car bounced and jerked over the uneven terrain as we drove further from the main road. Several minutes later, the car came to a halt and Jake killed the engine.

"We're here and it looks like we weren't tailed," Jake announced proudly as he opened the car door. "I need to check on a few things, but I won't be gone long."

The door shut, leaving me alone in the darkness. My mind was in overdrive. I didn't know how long it had been since I'd run from the apartment, but I knew it was long enough for Esme to have gotten back and found me gone. The tears I'd been holding in began to fall as the weight of the day settled over me.

Poor Esme. I had begun to think of her as a mother-figure and she was likely taking the blame for my actions. My heart ached for lying to her. What choice did I have? I couldn't let this sick man hurt my family. I was positive she had made a panicked call to Carlisle and everyone in my family would be frantic. Charlie would be on the way to Seattle, if not already there. Detective Perry would have my cell phone and the note I left as the only clues. My Mom would be hysterical and on the first plane from Jacksonville. Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rose would be frightened but most importantly, they were safe now. Edward was most certainly losing his mind.

Edward.

I felt my heart constrict in my chest and a strangled sob escaped my throat. He'd be furious with me for leaving like I did. I could picture him, pacing the floor and tugging at his auburn locks in frustration. Heartbroken and desperate. I prayed that he understood that I did this for him. So he'd be safe.

I shook the image from my head and let the binding over my eyes soak up the useless tears. I couldn't focus on what had already been. I needed a clear mind to get through this. I felt the cool breeze from the night air as the back door was wrenched open.

"Come on. Up you go," Jake said as he pulled my body up to sit on the seat. The blood rushed to my hands and feet, causing a warm ache in my extremities.

I let out a gush of air as Jake pulled the handkerchief from my eyes. I blinked repetitively until my blurred vision became clearer. I was looking into Jacob's face and he was staring back with a blank expression.

"I know your feet and hands probably hurt, so I'm gonna remove the tape. Don't try to run, Bella. I know these woods like the back of my hand and it will be much worse if you fight me. Tell me you understand what I'm saying."

I couldn't speak. My mouth was too parched so I nodded several times. Jake reached in his pocket and pulled out a large knife. I blanched at the thought of what he needed a knife for.

Jake chuckled as he popped open the blade. The moonlight glinted from the steel blade as he twirled it in his fingers. The interior light cast a sinister glow around him.

"I'm just gonna cut the tape. Relax. I won't need the knife for anything unless you try to escape. Then I'll just have to bind you up again and there is too much fun to be had. We wouldn't want that now would we?"

I shook my head and closed my eyes as Jake drew closer to my feet with the knife. When the tape was cut Jake jerked it away from my skin, like removing a band aid. I bit back the cry in the back of my throat as the adhesive ripped at my flesh. I felt the warmth from the blood he'd drawn as it trickled from my ankles and into my shoes. He repeated the process on my hands. The rawness stung in the damp night air. I wiggled my feet and hands to try to regain the lost circulation before Jake pulled me roughly from the car to stand.

My legs wobbled at the sudden weight. My head swam from the pain as I tried to take a step. I had to swallow back the vomit that pooled in the back of my throat. Arms too warm wrapped around my waist. His face close to mine as he spoke caused goose bumps on my skin.

"Besides, the nine mil I have on my side will be even more effective than the knife. I'm a crack shot so don't test me, Bella. Now walk. We need to get inside. Don't want the boogie man to get ya."

I stumbled as he half walked, half drug me toward a light in the distance. I could make out the outline of a small cabin surrounded by darkness. Dim light shown through the dirty windows. The damp, earthy smell of woods told me that we were far from Seattle and my heart sank at the distance Jake had covered in such a short time. The cabin door was ajar and was quickly kicked shut and locked as we crossed the threshold.

The cabin was sparsely decorated and appeared very old. In the one large, open room I could see a wood-hewn table, a couple of straight back chairs and an old couch. A case of bottled water sat on the kitchen counter, along with several cans of food. There was a doorway to the left and to the right at the end of the open space, which I assumed were a bedroom and bathroom. I was certainly hoping for the later.

I cleared my throat and attempted to speak.

"I …I need to use the bathroom."

Jake put his keys in his pocket and circled me like a hawk as I tried to keep my chin high and keep him in my line of vision. When he moved near me I caught a glimpse of the silver handle of the gun shoved into his jeans. Dear God.

"Well, pretty lady. The facilities are outside. I'll take you in a minute."

I shuddered at the thought of an outhouse. Dark and dangerous things lurked in the darkness. I weighed my options on whether the danger was greater inside or out. I needed for Jake to know I wasn't foolish enough to try to run at night, especially when he had a loaded gun. I had no idea where I was and how far civilization was from me, and I wasn't going to put my friends and family in danger.

"Just show me where, Jake. I won't try to run. I promise."

He threw his head back in laughter as he shook his head at me.

"Do I have stupid written on my face? I'm not letting you out of my sight. Let's go get this over with."

Jake grabbed my arm and led me across the large room and out the door on the right. A few yards behind the cabin a small outhouse came into view. Jake opened the door and pulled a chain in the ceiling illuminating a single light bulb. His breath was hot and damp on my neck as he spoke. His hands ghosting down my back.

"The owner had power run out here a few years ago. He doesn't come here often so I came out here last weekend with a friend of mine and cleaned this place up. There's water in the kitchen, but no running water out here in the head. Just make due."

Thankfully Jake shut the door behind me and left me alone. I sat down on the make-shift toilet seat and did my business. I knew I'd have to just bear whatever Jake threw at me. I wouldn't break. I owed that much to Edward and the rest of my family.

I took the chance to survey the damage done by the binds on my feet and hands. The skin around my hands was red and raw. My ankles hadn't faired much better and several spots of psoriasis had been opened and I cringed at the dried blood that had run into my shoes. I needed to get my wounds cleaned as the Enbrel and my auto-immune deficiencies raised my chances of infection.

Jake knocked sharply on the door, and I knew my time was up. I opened the door and he grabbed my sore wrist and led me back inside. He stopped briefly by the only door he hadn't opened yet. When he flung that door open, my stomach turned at the thought of what he planned to do with me. There was a single bed against the back wall, along with a small table and lamp. There was a lock on the door and only a small, boarded up window high over the bed that was too small for even me to crawl through. Jake saw my perusal and shook his head.

"Don't even think about trying to escape, Bella. If you do, well, Pretty Boy gets to pay for it first, and then each of your friends before you. I don't think you want that on your pretty little conscience."

I felt my body tremble but I turned to face him.

"What do you want from me? I've never done anything to you, Jake. Please, tell me what I've done," I begged hoarsely.

Jake laughed again and grabbed my arm. Once he'd led me to the kitchen he spoke with fire in his eyes as I cowered down into a chair by the table.

"Girls like you are all the same. Damn prick teases. Flaunting it all for the world to see and then screwing us over for the rich boys. Just like Leah."

Who the hell was Leah? I decided to pick his brain and see what was making him tick. Maybe I can get through to him, reason my way out of this.

"Jake, I'm sorry that you feel that way. I didn't mean to lead you on in any way. I just wanted to be your friend. I don't know Leah. Edward is …"

"DON'T speak his name in this house!"

"I'm sorry! I won't say it again I promise."

"Your promises mean nothing to me! Get yourself cleaned up. I can't have your skin get infected. NOW! Do it now!"

I jumped from the chair and stood at the sink, letting the water run several minutes. It wasn't clear as it ran from the faucet and it was cold as ice. Jake threw an old hand towel down on the counter and shoved a container of antibacterial soap in my hands. He walked into the living room and I began to wash my wounds.

"When you're done, fix us some supper. I'm starving."

I cleaned myself as best as I could and dried my skin with the rough towel. I needed gauze but knew better than to ask. I rummaged through the fridge and canned foods on the counter until I found two cans of Chunky Soup. There was a pot on the stove and I quickly opened the cans and began to warm them. When the soup was finished, I poured Jake a bowl full and grabbed a bottled water. I set them down on the table for him.

"I hope soup is okay."

Jake looked at the bowl of soup and pointed toward the kitchen.

"It's fine. Eat and drink plenty of water, Bella. This will be the only chance you have tonight. When you're done, go to the bedroom and get some sleep. "

I didn't argue. It was fruitless and I didn't want to anger Jake anymore than he already was. I wasn't remotely hungry, but I poured myself a bowl of soup and forced about half the bowl into my upset stomach. I sipped slowly on the water, as I didn't know if I'd be allowed back to the outhouse again tonight. As much as I tried to block my thoughts, my mind drifted to Edward.

He had to be sick with worry now. The best I could calculate, I'd been gone seven or eight hours now. It was dark when we arrived and I doubted if they would know to look this far from Seattle. Would they ever find me? How long would Jake hold me here? Would I even survive? Feelings of hopelessness washed over me as I spun my engagement ring on my finger.

When Jake was done eating, I took his dishes and mine and washed them in the dingy water. When I was finished cleaning the mess in the kitchen Jake pointed toward the bedroom.

"I've got some things to check on. Don't waste your time trying to get out of the room, Bella. The padlock and deadbolt are top-grade. There will be hell to pay if you even try. Now go."

I walked quickly down the hall with Jake on my heels. As soon as I was through the door, it slammed behind me and I heard the telltale sound of the deadbolt locking into place and the padlock engaged. I stood by the door and listened as Jake shut the outside door and locked it as well. The car started and then the sound of the engine slowly disappeared into the night.

Weary and heartbroken I curled myself onto the tiny bed. My thoughts immediately went again to Edward. Tears began to fall as I recalled every moment I could of our time together. How safe I felt when I was in his arms. How he promised to protect me. How I knew I'd let him down by leaving him. I felt sleep begin to take over my body as I whispered into the darkness as I placed the hand with my ring on my heart.

_I love you, Edward. Jake has taken me far away. I'm so scared and I miss you so much! Please find me. _

XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**EPOV**_

I tossed and turned in the bed, never dozing off for more than a few minutes at a time. My cell at my side, just incase I got a call about Bella. My mind kept playing tricks on me. I heard her laugh. I smelled her fresh scent in the air. I felt her hands graze over my chest as I held her pillow close.

No. She wasn't here. She'd sacrificed herself so I would be safe. So our families would be free from danger. I wanted to scream and be pissed at her.

How could she let this happen? We were partners. I had no choice in the matter. How could she go with _him_ and leave me here alone to worry? She was my life!

But then again, how could I be mad at her? She'd left unselfishly out of love and because a crazy, delusional man had forced her hand. I would've done the same for her. The fact remained … I had to find her and bring her home safe.

Trying to sleep was useless. I hauled myself out of bed and went to the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee. The clock on the microwave showed two in the morning. Bella had been gone for almost twelve hours and as far as I knew, the police had no leads as to where Black took her. When my coffee was done, I went to the living room and sat on the couch.

There were so many memories in this room. Our first date ended here. The storm. The power going out. The sex talk. I allowed myself to bask in those memories. I was lost in thought when my cell rang. I saw the number and quickly answered.

"Detective Perry?"

"Edward, I'm sorry to call you so late, but we've got a break in the case. Can you come to the station?"

"Yes, I'll be there as soon as I can. Do you know where Bella is?"

"We'll talk when you get here, Edward. See you soon."

I hung up the call and ran upstairs to change clothes. I didn't care what I looked like, so I grabbed a grey tee shirt and threw a flannel on over it. I pulled on my jeans and my Chucks, popped in my contacts, grabbed my wallet and ran out the door.

I pulled into the station and ran inside. Detective Perry was waiting for me at the front desk, and beside him was Bella's dad.

"Charlie, please tell me they've found Bella!"

"No, not yet. I'll let Jim talk to you."

I turned my attention to Detective Perry.

"Edward, we've apprehended a female at Jake's apartment. She keeps saying that she has to go because Jake has what she needs, but she's high on some type of drug."

I was confused.

"I don't understand why you called me here if you don't have Bella!"

"Son, this woman mentioned your name. Either she knows you or knows about Bella through Jake. I want to talk to her and have you watch behind the glass. She can't see you, but you'll see and hear everything. Maybe we can get something useful from her. Possibly she will trigger something in your mind that we haven't covered."

Now I was even more confused. Who would be affiliated with Black and me too? I couldn't think of anyone, but that didn't matter in the least. I needed to see this woman and hear what she knew.

"I'll do whatever it takes to make Bella safe again and bring her home to me."

Detective Perry nodded for Charlie and I to follow him to a darkened room. There was a window into the adjoining room that had a curtain over it. Charlie led me to a couple of chairs and motioned for me to sit. I heard static from the speakers as the curtain was lifted. My heart stopped at the sight before me. Charlie noticed my reaction.

"Edward?"

What the hell?

"Edward! Do you know this woman?" Charlie asked as he stood before me.

"Yeah. I do. Tanya Denali. She's my ex-girlfriend from over four years ago. This doesn't make any sense to me."

Charlie let out a gush of air and sat back down in the chair. I wanted to bust out the glass and get the answers from her myself. She had no reason to want Bella hurt! I wanted to wrap my hands around her neck and squeeze the life out of her for allowing harm to come to Bella. I was shaking with anger as Detective Perry began his questioning.

"Miss Denali, before I begin, do you feel the need for legal representation? If you do, I can provide that for you."

Tanya looked up at Detective Perry. I saw the dark circles under her eyes. The pretty, confident girl I'd once known had been replaced by a bedraggled strung out woman that looked like she was in bad need of a meal and a shower.

"I haven't done anything wrong, so no. I don't need a lawyer. Just ask me your questions so I can get the hell outta here."

"Alright. Do you know why you're here, Miss Denali?"

"Um, because I'm high?" Tanya answered with a smirk.

"That's one reason, yes. What is your relationship with Jacob Black?"

Tanya tossed her stringy hair over her shoulder and laughed.

"Jake? He gives me what I need and I fuck him. Simple as that."

"So, Mr. Black provides you with drugs and you repay him sexually."

"Yep. That's right."

"And where is Mr. Black tonight? I assume you were looking for him at the apartment."

"He's already gone. Jake can't shut the hell up over that bitch he's hung up on. I guess he's with her."

"Who is this woman he's with, Tanya?"

"Her name is Bella. I don't know her last name, okay? Now, can I go?"

"No, I'm afraid I have a few more questions. Do you know where he and Bella would be if they aren't at the apartment?"

Tanya huffed and grew agitated.

"Now, if I knew that, why would I be looking for him where I was?"

Detective Perry nodded and leaned over the table toward her.

"Had Jake taken you anywhere away from Seattle lately? Somewhere that he'd take Bella to be alone?"

I jumped from my seat. I couldn't listen to her anymore. Charlie placed a restraining arm on me and pulled me back to my seat.

"Edward, I need you to pay attention. We all want Bella back. God knows it's making me sick to think about her and what she could be going through at the hands of that sick bastard, but you have to be strong. For her. Can you do that, Son?"

For Bella I would do anything.

"I'm sorry, Charlie. I'm trying."

Charlie patted my arm and our attention was drawn back to the room in front of us.

"All I know is he kept talking on and on about some damn cabin all week. I don't know where it is, just that it's not in Seattle. He's from some Podunk place a few hours from here. La Push, I think. Maybe he's there. I don't know anything else! Why the hell are you asking me all these questions anyhow?"

"One last question, Miss Denali. Do you know an Edward Cullen?"

I braced myself for her response.

"Edward? Why are you asking me about him?"

"So, you do know Mr. Cullen. Can you tell me what your relationship is with him?"

Tanya shook her head and snickered.

"I dated Edward in high school. We went to college and things didn't work out. There is no relationship between us and I doubt there ever will be. He hates me and the feeling is mutual."

"Thank you for answering my questions, Miss Denali. That's all I have for you at this time. You've been most helpful. I'll be sure to place that in my report. Officer Spencer will escort you to our holding facilities. You'll be staying with us tonight."

"What have I done wrong? I want my lawyer now! I want my phone call!"

"Officer Spencer will take care of all that, Miss Denali."

I watched as a female police officer came in the room and led a crying, screaming Tanya out the door. Detective Perry shut out the lights and joined us a few minutes later. Charlie looked anxious and I was ready for whatever questioning came next.

"Charlie, La Push is near Forks, am I right?"

"Yeah, about forty-five minutes east. It's a small Quileute Indian reservation on the coast. I know the police chief there. If you want, I can make a few calls. Get them in the loop."

"I'd appreciate that, Charlie. I need to talk to Edward and the Washington State Police. We'll meet up in thirty minutes and coordinate."

Charlie patted me on the back and stepped from the room. I sat back down in my chair and Detective Perry took the seat that Charlie had vacated.

"Edward, you're not under any investigation. However, I do have to ask about your relationship with Miss Denali."

"Detective Perry. I'll answer anything you need me to. I want to get this over with so we can go get Bella. I dated Tanya in high school. We came to U Dub together. She cheated on me, and we broke up four plus years ago. I've only seen her once since then, and it was totally random at the grocery. She came on to me and I told her to take a hike. I was already with Bella but I don't recall mentioning her name to Tanya. That's it."

"I believe you, Edward. I've seen the love you have for Bella, in your voice, and actions. I believe Tanya didn't know of your connection to Bella, so I believe she isn't involved in the abduction. I know you want to be with us in La Push, but it's safer for you to stay here …"

"Fuck safer! I'm going. With or without your consent! Bella was taken from my house, Detective Perry. From my protection! She's the one in danger, not me. I can't sit back and wait to hear from you or Charlie. I'll stay out of the way, but come hell or high water, I'm going to La Push."

He sat back in deep thought. I knew me going along went against protocol. To hell with that.

"Okay, Edward. You can come with us, but there are ground rules. We don't know what Black's state of mind is or if he's armed. If you go, it's on my terms. You stay in the car, and out of the way. Let the professionals do their jobs. If we find where he's holding Bella, there will likely be a fight and things can get serious fast. For your protection and for Bella's you have to agree to these conditions, or you're staying in Seattle under police guard. I will not risk you or Bella's safety. Is that clear?"

"Perfectly clear, Detective. Now, let's get Charlie and go get my Bella."

Detective Perry and Charlie met to go over the logistics of the trip to La Push. While they were in their meeting, I took the time to call my parents. They were worried for me, but understood my desire to be there when Bella was rescued. I asked them to let the others know and to take care of Renee when she flew in later today. They insisted Renee stay with them and I promised that I'd keep them as informed as I could while I was gone. I let Charlie and Detective Perry know I was going to run back to the apartment and pack. They told me that we'd be leaving at six a.m. The La Push police and the Washington State Police were in route ahead of us to set up the specifics with the tribal elders. They had narrowed the cabins in the area down to five. By the time we were to arrive, they would know if any were inhabited.

At 5:30am, I returned to the precinct with a duffle bag of clothes and enough cash to hold me over awhile, ready to head out. Charlie had called Renee and she agreed to stay with my parents so she'd be able to stay informed as the investigation progressed. Dad and Mom were meeting her at the airport. Alice, Rose, Em and Jazz were going to stay at my apartment and await my call there.

At six sharp, we loaded into the police Tahoe and headed out for La Push and hopefully my Bella. I was anxious and hopeful. I prayed to God repeatedly to keep Bella safe.

_Bella, baby, we're on our way to you. Stay strong for me, my love. _

**A/N: Okay … so when I ALMOST had this finished, the freaking power went off! Somehow, my computer managed to retrieve most of it. I think I've filled in what I lost. Hope you liked it! Looks like Edward is on his way. Let me hear from you. Things are winding up quickly …**


	34. Chapter 34

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 34

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own personal enjoyment. **

**A/N: Happy Easter weekend! I hope you all had a great one! Thanks so much for the happy birthday wishes 4/6. I appreciated each one. 41 has been fabulous so far! Not much else to say but that this chapter was another toughie to write. It hopefully ties up some loose ends and answers a few questions some of you had asked. Calling creative artistic license again. Seth is the older brother in this story. It just fits better for me that way. Now, on with the story. **

_**JBPOV**_

I sped from the cabin with too many thoughts swirling like tornado clouds in my brain. I had her. Bella. She was locked away securely in Old Quill's cabin. The thrill that ran through my loins at the thought of her caused my body to shake. That and the lack of coke in my system, which I hoped to rectify soon.

I hit the old highway, debating my next move. I needed some nose candy and the apartment had been empty when I stopped on the way to the cabin. Where the hell was everyone and my stash?

I knew I'd been reclusive the past couple of weeks. I counted on my homeboys to manage the fort in my absence. Stupid, fucking fool that I was. I knew where to find the boys. La Push. They just better pray they had my coke. I needed a bump and soon, before I lost my shit.

I'd been careful in keeping a low profile while I finalized my plans to take Bella. The only hiccup had been Tanya. She'd been a nice distraction while I laid low, but I wasn't into blondes and she was nothing but a piece of ass to me. Luckily for me, she was too strung out when I left her at her place to notice my absence.

Leah had ruined me years ago for any type of relationship with another woman. She'd been my girlfriend since we were ten years old and we had been inseparable ever since. We'd been each other's firsts, in all ways and we were fine with that. I wanted no one else but Leah Clearwater.

Leah had been beautiful. Petite, tanned skin, dark eyes and long brown hair. Beauty and brains. We grew up on the rez together and had our lives plotted out. Graduate high school. Marry. Move away from the rez and start our lives anew far from the limitations that would come from staying in La Push. We were well on our way until it all came crashing down around me.

A few months before graduation, I was working all the hours I could manage at my dad's old garage, saving all my money so we could escape. Leah had been working at the diner after school and on weekends, so our time apart was expected, but we still managed to sneak off from time to time. Shortly before graduation, things began to change. Leah was more distant and we never seemed to have any time to ourselves.

One fateful night _she_ came to me at the garage, all teary eyed and full of excuses and told me that she thought it was best if we broke up for awhile. Leah wanted to stay in La Push to be near her family and go to the local junior college. She thought we needed a break from each other, since we'd never been apart, so we could decide what we wanted out of life. Then she proceeded to tell me that we needed to be with other people to make sure that we were really ready for the commitment.

Then Leah dropped the bomb on me and my world imploded.

_My girlfriend_ had met a really nice guy named Tyler. He was about to graduate from the junior college with a business degree. They had a lot in common and shared the same goals for the future. She didn't want to hurt me and she was sorry she'd let this drag out as long as she had, but she had feelings for Tyler that she didn't have for me.

I flipped my shit. I told her to get in the damn car and we were going somewhere to talk this out. I wanted marriage, and babies. I expected Leah to be waiting at home for me at night with a home-cooked meal, clean house and her warm, willing body. She was fucking up my plans and I wasn't having it. Leah, having no reason to fear me, did as she was told.

I drove to the cliffs. No one would be there as it was night and storm season. We would work this shit out. Period.

I didn't let anyone know where we were going and no one saw us leave together, since it was dark and the garage had been closed for hours when she arrived. It was a cold and windy night on the water. A spring storm was moving in from the West. We argued. Leah was defiant. I was pissed. I tried to pull her close to me, to show her how much I loved her. Leah hit my chest and struggled to pull away from me and in my rage I roughly shoved her. She lost her footing and tumbled over the edge of the cliff. Her eyes wide with fear. There was no sound as her body disappeared into the darkness below.

I thought that I'd feel sadness or panic. I felt neither. I'd found out from her own admittance that Leah was a worthless slut and a liar. She'd been playing me and I wasn't going to be made the fool. Good riddance. I knew I needed to get back to my house and pretend to play the part of the grieving boyfriend when the news of her disappearance came. I drove back to my house and crawled into bed with no one the wiser.

Leah's body was never discovered, whether from the wake pulling her out to sea or the animals that frequented the coastline. It was assumed that due to her recent change in behavior, she'd run away from her responsibilities and me. No one ever suspected foul play. Running away was common on the rez. We kept to ourselves. Her family grieved the loss of contact with her, but moved on with their lives as best as they could. Even her dumbass brother, Seth who had just taken over as the Chief of Police in La Push never once questioned me on her disappearance. I played my part and relished in the sympathy I was getting from everyone in La Push. I left soon after for Seattle. My excuse was that life was too painful without Leah and the memories were too daunting.

I found my way into the underground drug scene soon after I arrived in Seattle. The promise of money and the high I got from my contraband was too much to turn away. It kept me from thinking about what I'd lost. What I wanted to become.

I was good at what I did- supplying the local college kids with the drugs they wanted, bought with daddy's hard earned money. I'd met plenty of girls, always gravitating toward smart, sexy and petite brunettes with brown eyes. I'd get them high, fuck them hard and then move on. I'd had a few close calls the year before, when some of the girls I was after didn't fall for my charms, so I'd catch them at night and blindly assault them. Getting satisfaction in making them suffer for what Leah had done to me and for denying me what I wanted.

I spotted Bella on the second day of classes. It was my routine to stroll about campus when classes were changing so I could scope out my next acquisition. Bella seemed to be so naive as she wandered across the concourse. She wasn't like any of the other girls. She wasn't flashy or loud. She seemed to try as hard as possible to blend into the faceless people around her. She became an obsession that I couldn't shake. I tried for several days to find out what dorm she lived in, but she was unknowingly elusive.

The day I literally ran into her on campus, I finally got to see her clearly. She was every bit as beautiful as I'd imagined from afar. Porcelain skin. Dark eyes. Gorgeous brown hair that flowed down her back like ribbons. She was better than any drug and I was hooked. I had to have her.

Then I noticed those damn Cullen's were always around her.

I was no stranger to the Cullen family, although I didn't know them personally. Alice had been on my radar for awhile, but when I saw the size of her brother, Emmett and boyfriend, Jasper, she wasn't nearly as appealing. The blonde with Emmett wasn't my type. That bitch was scary.

It took time and patience to finally find out that she roomed with Alice and the blonde in Pattison Hall. I soon had her daily routines mapped out so I could run into her from time to time. At first she seemed leery of me, so I poured on the Black charm. It didn't take long before she relaxed when she was around me and said she wanted to be friends. I had other plans, and was close to cashing in until that fucktard, Edward Cullen came into the picture.

He swooped in, just like that fucker had with Leah, and stole my chances of having Bella all to myself. It was then I decided all girls were the same; money hungry whores, never settling for a regular guy like me. If I couldn't have her, no one would.

My plans couldn't have come together any better. Bella was smart enough to know I meant business when I told her to find a way to get rid of her guard. I was prepared to call in a few favors if she'd waivered. I'd see Edward Cullen and the whole family FUBAR'd for getting in my way. Bella had made it too easy.

I pulled into La Push, avoiding the main road that led by the toy cops that made up the Tribal Police. I laughed to myself at the idea of them being smart enough to even know I was on the rez to begin with. I drove carefully along the back road until I was parked behind my dad's old garage. I was anxious to find my blow.

I snuck into my old house. Dad was apparently not at home. I'd left a small baggie of coke in my old gym bag 'just in case' when I'd stopped in a few months ago. It was right where I left it. I quickly cut out a line on the bedside table and snorted the burning shit into my head. The effect was almost immediate and I felt like King of the World.

I cleaned up the residual powder and shoved the remainder in the pocket of my jeans. When I was done, I crept back to my car and drove as quietly as I could back toward the highway and back to the old cabin. All I wanted to do now was ride out my high, fuck that delicious body that was waiting for me, over and over until I was sated, and then watch her demise by my hands. She'll pay. Just like Leah.

_**BPOV**_

I drifted in and out of consciousness, sleep evading me for the most part. Edward was in my thoughts constantly. I tried to ignore the pain in my limbs and the throbbing ache in my chest, but I wasn't doing a very good job. I was so thirsty and was beginning to feel feverish.

Jake had been gone for hours. Part of me was glad. I didn't want to know what he had planned for me when he returned. I'd never been so wrong about a person. He was evil. Hatred oozing from his pores and I knew that whoever Leah was, she was the reason. He'd not gone into any detail but I just knew. I was paying for Leah's sins.

As I lay on the small bed, delirious from my physical and emotional pain, I let myself daydream into a future with Edward by my side. I could picture a simple wedding in the Cullen's garden behind their house. My parents and Phil, along with Esme and Carlisle dressed elegantly in wedding attire. Edward standing under an archway, looking all kinds of hot in his dark tux. Jasper and Emmett dressed the same to his right, Rose and Alice dressed in pastel gowns to his left. Me, standing beside him in a simple while satin bridal, pledging our love for each other before God, family and friends.

It was all I wanted and now it seemed it may never come to pass. I'd never wanted a Xanax more than I did right now. My pulse and breathing quickened as I teetered on the edge of an anxiety attack. I knew I had to be strong, but I was so tired. Too tired to fight much longer. Jake had the upper hand, and I was in the middle of nowhere. Fear bubbled inside of me as I tried to use every calming technique I knew of to level myself off, but the panic was too much. Edward wasn't going to save me. My heart crumbled into tiny pieces as I awaited my fate.

_**CHPOV**_

I'd been a cop more than half my life. Forks wasn't exactly crime central, but I had been on my share of dangerous calls. None more so than this one. Someone had my baby girl. My Isabella. I tried to keep my temper in check. Jim had been on top of things from the beginning, and I wasn't going to interfere. I was too emotionally vested. That's the things that get people killed. He had a plan, and if everything went as expected, we'd have Bella safely back where she belonged soon.

I couldn't blame Edward for demanding to come along. He was close to losing it back at the precinct. Tanya had been an odd twist to the events that had occurred, but she wasn't involved. Just in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong guy. She was too messed up to be that good of a liar. But her presence alone had almost broken Edward.

There was no denying the way this boy felt for my baby. His youthful face was void of all color. The tense set of his jaw and the way he kept clawing at his face as we rode along the highway was painful to watch. I remembered how I'd felt to be in love. Renee had been my whole world, but I was too blind to see that I was smothering her in a place she didn't want to be. The past was exactly that, and now we had an amicable relationship, for Bella's sake. I'd always love her, just not as a husband should.

There was little or no conversation along the road to La Push. Jim had gotten a call that someone matching Jake's description was seen entering and leaving his old apartment soon after Bella had been abducted, but the officers didn't get there in time to catch him before he was gone. Bella was not seen on the surveillance video, which lead us to believe that she was left in the car, and must have been bound with the duct tape found at Edward's apartment or drugged to prevent her escape.

As we pulled the Tahoe into the reservation, I automatically went into police mode. Looking for anything that appeared out of place. It had been years since I'd been to La Push, but as things usually are in a place like this, nothing much had changed. Small shacks dotted the landscape. It was almost a place time had forgotten.

We pulled into the Tribal Police department and Jim got out of the SUV. I could see several squad cars and the Washington State Police vehicles pulled up to the front of the building. He motioned for me to come along so I turned to speak to my soon-to-be-son-in-law.

"Edward, listen to me. Jim and I need to go in and talk to the others. Get our plans in place to get Bella back to us. You promised that you'd stay put. Are you gonna hold up your end of the deal?"

Edward looked at me. His eyes were full of pain and exhaustion.

"I'll do what I said I'd do, Charlie. I don't like it but I'm a man of my word. Just please, don't keep me in the dark too long. I need to know what's going on."

"I promise I'll keep you informed, Edward. Now, you have my number. Call me if you need me and I'll come to you. Try to get some rest. You aren't doing yourself any good by wearing yourself out. Be strong, and take care of yourself for Bella. She's gonna need you when this is all said and done, Son."

Edward nodded wearily and I climbed out of the car. When I entered the small building, it was bustling with activity. The small, backwoods precinct had been transformed into something off of _Law and Order. _There were at least fifteen officers, both uniformed and plain clothed on telephones and computers or looking at maps on the wall.

"Charlie."

I looked toward the voice and stuck my hand out.

"Seth, it's good to see you," I said as I shook the younger man's hand.

Seth Clearwater was from the local Quileute tribe and had been the Chief of Police at La Push for the past ten years. I hadn't had many professional dealings with him, as the rez wasn't in my jurisdiction, but he was always at the training sessions and meetings that we held for our area of the state. He was certainly capable of running this operation.

"When I got your call, Charlie, I was shocked that something like this could be happening on our quiet reservation. I wish we were meeting again under better circumstances, Charlie, but we're doing all we can to find out where Jacob may be holding your daughter. Why don't you and the Detective have a seat and we'll debrief you."

Seth took command of the meeting like the veteran officer that he was. He had chosen to stay local, to be near his aging parents, even though he was more than qualified to be serving Washington State in a much higher position.

"I know Jacob Black. He used to live here in La Push until a few years ago. He dated my younger sister and wasn't in any trouble back at the time. Then he all of the sudden left for Seattle after Leah didn't return home one night. We haven't heard from her since, but at the time foul play wasn't suspected. However, with the facts coming to surface now, I suspect Leah's disappearance wasn't coincidental. As Detective Perry has discovered, Jacob has become a player in the Seattle drug trade. A few young men from La Push were implicated recently for possession of drugs, paraphernalia, and firearms at an apartment in Seattle. Jacob wasn't on the lease, however, personal items belonging to Jacob were found in one of the bedrooms of the apartment. The boys were all too happy to speak up for lesser charges. Jacob is emotionally troubled, and has an addiction to cocaine. He may also be linked to several assaults on the campus of the University of Washington in the past several years."

Seth paused and looked at each officer in the room.

"Leah was my only sister, and I suspect that I'll never see her in this life again, but Isabella Swan is most likely still very much alive and being held somewhere in the forests around the reservation. There are many old hunting cabins in a ten mile radius of La Push. We've investigated the ones closest to here with nothing amiss, which leaves five to ten that I know of that are still habitable. Since there are twenty available officers and we need people to man the phones and computers here, I suggest we break into five groups of three. Chief Swan and Detective Perry wouldn't normally have jurisdiction here, but they have coordinated information pertinent to the kidnapping and are active investigators in the case, so I will head their grouping. Each team has a two mile area to cover. I suggest that you approach on foot, as Jacob will be on high alert and is likely armed and under the influence of drugs. Ms. Swan is our first priority. Jacob needs to be taken alive if possible, as he may have the answers to other unsolved crimes. Are there any questions?"

Everyone present shook their heads.

"If not, please break off into teams of three and meet me at the front of the room. I will give you a map of your assigned area and any information my officers have gathered about the cabins and owners. Please keep your radios on channel five. Radio immediately if the location of Ms. Swan is found. Thanks, and be safe."

Jim and I stayed quietly in our seats as the officers got their assignments and left the building. Seth came over with the final set of paperwork and sat down beside me.

"Okay, guys. We need to make sure we're locked and loaded. I don't need to tell either of you what we may face. Charlie, are you sure that you want to go through with this?"

"Hell yes I'm sure, Seth. That bastard has my baby. I want his sorry ass brought to justice, however that may play out. I do need to tell you that Bella's fiancé is with us and will refuses to be left behind. Poor kid is heartsick. He promised me he won't get in the way. "

Seth nodded his head.

"Keep him in check, Charlie. I won't have another innocent life compromised."

Jim, Seth and I looked over the map and made our plans. When we were done, we gathered our gear, and walked to the Tahoe. Edward was anxiously waiting and after the brief introduction, we climbed in and Seth drove off toward our destination as I filled Edward in as best as I could.

_**EPOV**_

I couldn't rest, although I promised Charlie I'd try. Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was Bella. What had been good thoughts had morphed into more sinister and painful visions. She had to be terrified. She already had issues with her anxiety and without her meds she would have nothing to help her keep control. Somehow in my manic state, I'd thought to grab the bottle of pills from her bag as I left the apartment. I hoped that she could hang on long enough for me to get to her without spiraling into a panic attack.

I was doubly worried about her health. Even though she wasn't frail or weak, she did have the increased susceptibility to infection and of course the stress would wreak havoc on her poor skin. Just the mere thought of Bella being in some cold, dirty cabin with someone that could potentially hurt her had me physically ill, but I kept that hid deep inside so I wouldn't be forced to stay behind and wait.

Foremost, I was worried about what that sick fucker had physically and mentally done to Bella. I couldn't even bring myself to think about him touching her in a sexual way. I had all but brought blood to the palms of my hands as I dug my nails into the flesh there, in an attempt to maintain my sanity.

Charlie and Detective Perry had been as open as they could with me. They didn't know anything for sure, but if Black had Bella nearby they would find them. Charlie introduced me to Chief Clearwater, who didn't seem all too thrilled to have me along for the ride, but I sure as hell wasn't bailing now. Bella would need me when she was found. There was no other option for me.

We drove for what seemed like a hundred miles before we pulled off onto the shoulder of the highway, near a gravel road leading into the woods.

"There appears to have been recent traffic in and out of this road. Tire tracks appear to be from a compact vehicle. This lane turns to dirt about a mile in and leads to Old Quill Ateara's cabin. It looks like we may have found what we're looking for, gentleman. We'll need to park elsewhere and go in on foot so we keep the element of surprise. Are you two ready?" Chief Clearwater announced as he pulled back onto the highway.

Detective Perry and Charlie agreed and I heard the sound of side arms being engaged. Chief Clearwater parked the SUV on another road a few hundred yards away and killed the engine, before he turned his full attention on me.

"Edward, I know this must be hard for you, but I need for you to remain in the vehicle until we return. We have our radios on and I'll leave the scanner on in here so you can listen in. Under no circumstances are you to vacate this vehicle, or I'll have you arrested for interfering in the investigation. Are we clear?"

"Yes, we're clear. Please just go bring Bella back to me. That's all I ask. Please."

Charlie clasped my shoulder and I returned the man-hug as he exited the Tahoe. I watched as they disappeared into the darkness of the forest. I listened to the static on the radio, hoping for someone to give good news. I watched the clock. It was nearing noon and it had been twenty-two hours since Bella had disappeared. The longer she was missing, the less likely of a favorable outcome. God, I couldn't even think about that. What I heard not too much later made me stop breathing.

"_All available units. This is Chief Clearwater. Suspect has been identified in the Ateara cabin. Repeat. Jacob Black is at the Ateara cabin. Quadrant ten on the map. Off First Beach Road. Black is armed. Affirmative to Ms. Swan being held at this location. I have a visual. Ms. Swan is trying to fight him and appears injured. We're going in. Potential for a violent standoff. Backup requested immediately, along with an ambulance."_

Bella! It didn't matter if I was arrested. I was going to Bella. She needed me! That son of a bitch had hurt her and I would kill him myself. We were in the middle of fucking nowhere and if the medics took too long to arrive …I flung the door open and ran into the forest, praying that they got to her in time and that I would be holding her in my arms very soon. 

I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. It was almost as if I felt the Earth drawing me nearer to Bella. I wasn't sure if I was going in the right direction, but I let my heart guide me through the dark and dangerous undergrowth until I could see a faint light in the distance. It was a slight clearing and the tiny, rundown cabin came into view.

Voices. I could hear raised voices as I willed my body closer. When I was almost to the threshold, Chief Clearwater's voice rang out above the murmurs.

"_Jacob Black! Lower your weapon and back away from Ms. Swan. She's innocent. We have you outnumbered. Let's talk this out, Jacob. Don't turn this into a bloodbath."_

Then silence. Eerie silence broken suddenly by the sound of gunfire. Several shots rang out in the night and one shrill scream.

I was too late.

I burst into the cabin, my safety or fear of arrest forgotten. It was still and too quiet. My eyes took in the sight before me and I could barely comprehend what I saw.

Detective Perry was sitting on the floor with his back to me, beside a kneeling Chief Clearwater. Charlie was lying prone on the floor and I could see a patch of blood pooling across his chest. Chief Clearwater was talking calmly to Charlie and applying pressure to the apparent gunshot with an old dishtowel. Jake was lying face first in a puddle of blood on the ground a few feet behind Detective Perry.

"Bella! Where the hell is Bella? What the fuck happened? I heard everything on the radio!" I shouted as everyone, including Charlie turned to look at me.

"Edward. You promised …" Charlie rasped.

I went to Charlie and knelt down beside him. I moved Chief Clearwater's hand away and pulled the towel away from Charlie's body. I could see the gunshot had gone completely through his shoulder and the bleeding was slowing down. Chief Clearwater started to protest and I held up my hand to cut him off.

"I'm a doctor, Chief Clearwater. Keep the pressure on the wound until the EMT's arrive. You can deal with me later. Charlie, I'm sorry but I couldn't stand by and wait. Now, where's Bella? Is she okay?"

"She's over here, Edward," Detective Perry said and I stood and walked on heavy legs to where he sat. Fearful for what I'd find.

Bella was lying in a fetal position on the floor. I dropped to my knees beside her still form. Slowly I reached out my hand and brushed the sweaty hair from her face before I pulled her limp body into my arms.

"What happened? Did he …?"

"Not that we can tell, Edward. She was weak and trying to fight him off of her when we entered the cabin. Black tried to hold her to him as leverage, but Bella slammed her foot down onto his and broke from his grasp. We rushed him and Jake pulled his gun. Charlie got a shot off just seconds before Black did. Black's wounds were fatal. Bella collapsed after the fact. I have a bottle of water here if you need it. She's not roused enough for me to get her to drink anything yet."

I could hear the sound of the sirens in the distance. Help was almost there. I did a cursory evaluation without letting her out of my arms. I could feel Bella's faint breathing and her heartbeat against my chest as I held her close to me. Her poor wrists and ankles were red and inflamed. Her lips were dry and she felt like she was feverish. I was also sure she was in shock and dehydrated. I rocked her gently in my arms and kissed her face everywhere I could reach. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I thanked God for keeping her safe.

"Edward …am I dreaming?"

Bella stirred in my arms, and I couldn't help the sob of relief when her eyes fluttered open and looked into mine. She was weak as a kitten and I could tell her nerves were completely shot as she trembled in my arms.

"Shhh, beautiful. Save your strength. I'm here and not going anywhere. You're okay, baby. I've got your pills. Can you sit up and take one for me?"

Bella nodded and I uncapped the water and placed it at her lips. After a few sips, I placed the tiny pill on her tongue. She washed it down and drained the rest of the bottle. Then she grabbed at my shirt and her eyes began to dart around the room.

"Charlie … oh, God! The gun … is he okay?"

"Calm down, baby. You need to relax, okay? He's hurt but not badly. Charlie's going to be fine, Bella. Help is almost here."

"And … what about _him_? He told me some terrible things he's done … what he was going to do …"

I took a deep breath as I pulled her tighter to my body. She didn't need to see his body lying just feet away in a puddle of his own blood.

"He'll never hurt you or anyone ever again, baby," I said before I lost it. "Bella. I love you so much. I won't ever be able to tell you that enough times. I've never been so afraid in my life."

Then the sweetest words came from her lips before the EMT standing behind me ended our reunion.

"I love you, Edward. So much. I'll never leave you again."

**A/N: Okay. That hurt to write. Seriously. But Jake is HISTORY! Hope you liked it. Thanks to kare831, twimom817 and darcysmom for cleaning this up and making it pretty for you to read. TRUST ME. It was a MESS. Let me know what you think! **


	35. Chapter 35

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 35

I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just like to play with them for my own enjoyment.

**A/N: I'm feeling bittersweet about LDTW ending and I'll probably shed a few tears. You, the readers, have been amazing to me as I've tried to lead Edward and Bella through their journey together, and I want to hug each one of you. We broke 800 reviews last chapter and I am just thrilled! Just a quick note to say that I'm writing an outtake from chapter 34 for F4NKH entitled "Jacob's Downfall". Several readers wanted to know what happened in the cabin after Jake returned from La Push. I'll be answering all your questions that aren't answered in this chapter plus going into more detail on what is mentioned here, in the outtake so if you want to read it, check out the F4NKH (Fandom 4 No Kid Hungry) cause and donate to this important charity. The awesome Mel K/vbfb19 has graciously agreed to make a complimentary banner for this outtake. Please take a minute and check it out and thanks in advance! I will also be starting a new story after LDTW is finished. Finally going to try my hand at some Vamp Edward, and it's going to be different once again, but I guess that's what I do. If you have me on alert, you'll catch it when I start posting. See you at the bottom. **

_**EPOV**_

In a span of just twenty-four short hours, Bella and my world had been turned inside out, and I was still reeling from the impact. Bella was safe in my arms, Charlie was injured, but not critically; Jake was dead; and I was likely to be arrested by Chief Clearwater for compromising the investigation or some shit. I had no regrets except to have been able to prevent all of the pain, present and future, for Bella and Charlie.

"Sir? I need you to let go so I can check the patient," a young Native American EMT spoke firmly but compassionately as he sat his bag down beside me and knelt on the floor.

Bella buried her head into the side of my neck, still trembling from the encounter. Her fingers were clutching the fabric of my shirt. For such a tiny thing, she was strong, although I knew she was mentally and physically exhausted.

"Baby? The EMT needs to check you for injuries. I'm not going to leave you for a second. You have my word," I crooned softly into her ear, stroking her matted hair. I may end up buried under the local jail, but I wasn't breaking this promise to Bella. I also took this time to explain what I knew to the EMT.

"I'm a doctor, as well as being Ms. Swan's fiancé. She takes 10 mg Xanax for panic attacks and anxiety. I've given her one since I arrived about fifteen minutes ago, as well as approximately eight ounces of water. She also appears to be dehydrated and feverish. Her wrists and ankles have open trauma that need addressing."

The EMT made the mental notes and donned a pair of exam gloves. I hated to seem like a dick, but her care wouldn't be less than top notch or I'd take care of things myself.

Bella loosened her hold on my shirt and pulled her head out of the crook of my neck. She was trying to be strong. I took a second to glance over my shoulder to where Jake's body had been moments earlier. Thankfully, his body had already been removed from sight and the bloody floor covered with a tarp. There were a couple of EMT's working on Charlie and I saw three empty gurneys by the front door.

I gingerly moved Bella onto the floor so she could sit leaning back against the old couch. Bella complied and I took a seat behind her on the couch, my legs to her sides and rubbed her shoulders. I needed to keep tactile contact with her.

"Ms. Swan, my name is Eric. I need to check your vital signs and assess for any injuries. Does anything hurt in particular?"

Bella cleared her throat and nodded her head.

"My wrists and ankles are throbbing from the tape. I have psoriasis and my skin is sensitive. My head hurts and I feel hot."

The EMT began examining the raw and bloody areas around her ankles and wrists. They appeared to be fairly clean, all considering and I hoped that she'd stave off any infection.

"Okay, I'm going to clean your wounds with normal saline and apply some loose bandages to keep the dirt out. The hospital will do a more thorough cleaning when we get you there."

I kept my hands touching some part of Bella while the EMT cleaned and dressed her injuries. From my viewpoint, I could see all that was going on in the room. Charlie was fighting the EMT's to let him walk to the gurney under his own power. I laughed to myself, thankful I wasn't in charge of that task.

Eric checked her vital signs and confirmed that she had a low-grade fever that was likely from her dehydration and her simple blood sugar level was a little low but everything else was within normal limits. He would start an IV in the ambulance before they left for the hospital, which was a forty minute drive away. I wanted to know if that bastard had violated her in any way. Bella had said nothing to that effect, but the idea clawed at me from the inside out. I knew they'd check her more thoroughly when they had her in a better environment.

"Okay, Ms. Swan. Let's get you on the stretcher so you can get to the hospital."

Maybe I was channeling my inner caveman. Maybe I was just an asshole that didn't want another man's hands on my fiancée. I don't know but before Eric could get assistance, I stood from the couch.

"I'll load her on the stretcher."

Eric's eyes shot to mine and I gave him a look that dared him to try and stop me. Hell, I was already in trouble, so it couldn't get much worse. Eric seemed to agree and went to pull the stretcher closer.

"Edward? I don't want you to leave me," Bella said as she reached for me with tears in her eyes that nearly broke my heart.

I carefully lifted her into my arms and sweetly kissed her lips. I wanted to manhandle my way into the ambulance and take care of her on the way to the hospital, but I knew with two gurneys and two EMT's in the back of the van with Bella and Charlie, there wouldn't be room. Her safety would always trump my selfish needs.

"I love you, beautiful, and I'm not leaving you for long, okay? We need to let the EMT's and doctors take care of you so you have to go to the hospital for that. You and Charlie will ride together in the ambulance and it will be too crowded for them to take care of you two with me there as well. I promise that I'll be right behind you with Detective Perry and Chief Clearwater. Just let the medication relax you and get some rest on the way. I'll see you as soon as I can."

Bella nodded sadly and kissed my check as I laid her on the stretcher.

"I love you, Edward. Don't be too long."

Charlie was already loaded in the ambulance making a fuss over all the attention he was getting and I held Bella's hand as Eric pushed the gurney to the van. As soon as she was loaded, Eric climbed in and began prepping her for the IV. I mouthed 'I love you' as the doors closed between us and the ambulance began the drive to the hospital.

I stood rooted in one spot as I watched the ambulance disappear in the shadows of the trees. My heart ripping with every inch she moved further away. I'd come so close to losing her today, and I was afraid there was much more that I didn't know. My trance was broken by a firm hand on my shoulder.

"Edward, we need to talk. I know you want to be at the hospital with Bella and Charlie, so we'll do it on the way. Let's go," Chief Clearwater said and we began a silent mile long walk back to the Tahoe.

"Where's Detective Perry?" I asked Chief Clearwater as we neared the SUV.

"He's staying at the crime scene with the Washington State Police to oversee the operations there. He'll come to the hospital as soon as he can."

I climbed into the SUV and when the Chief was behind the wheel we took off for La Push General. The ride was silent for several minutes before the Chief sighed and spoke.

"Edward, I should lock your ass up for disobeying a direct order. What you did was foolish and dangerous. If you'd been a minute earlier, you could've been shot or caused someone else to be shot. Do you understand the gravity of this situation?"

I felt like a child being scolded for leaving the front door open and letting the house dog out. Justifiably so, though, I'd broken my word to all three lawmen who had allowed me to come along when they shouldn't have.

"I know, Chief. When I heard the altercation on the scanner, I just lost all rational thought. Bella needed me and I went to her. I understand that I screwed up and I'll be a man and take whatever punishment is necessary. I won't lie and say that I'm sorry I came to the cabin, but I'll apologize for not keeping my word to you, Detective Perry, and Charlie. My father and mother raised me to honor my word and I didn't."

Chief Clearwater nodded his head as he drove. I couldn't tell if his thoughts were positive or negative and I wished that I was a mind-reader.

"Okay, Edward. The lawman in me wants to throw the book at you, but the man in me with a wife at home gets what you did. I doubt I would've been able to stay behind if someone had my Emily. Since your episode didn't cause anything negative to occur, and you did respond to injuries sustained at the crime scene I'm going to let you off with a warning because Bella is going to need you to help her heal from this. I wouldn't be doing either of you any good if I locked you up right now. Jake was a very sick individual and without your persistence in keeping Bella safe the past few months and following up with information to Detective Perry, the situation could have been much graver. I only wish the outcome for my sister had been as good, but I guess we'll never know now."

Charlie had given me the short-version of the story with Jake and Leah Clearwater. It was now assumed that he had a part in her disappearance several years ago. Jacob had escalated his crimes to assaults on the University campus and then taken to stalking and kidnapping Bella. We'd likely never know why he chose Bella as a target or what he intended to do with her. I was glad he was dead and that he'd never hurt another person. I guess that made me a sadistic person, but I couldn't help my feelings.

"Thank you, Chief. I appreciate the warning and hope I'm never in the position to need another warning from you or anyone else in the law profession. I do want to pass this along to you, though. When I got to Bella, she made the comment that Jake had told her about some things he'd done in the past and what he planned to do in the future. I know Bella wouldn't say those things if he hadn't said something important to her."

I really didn't want to think about Bella having to relive those hours with Jake, but I knew her heart and she'd want the Clearwater's to know the truth about Leah. Maybe, just maybe, she could provide them with a measure of closure when this was all said and done.

"When she's feeling up to it, I'll question her for the record on what happened from Seattle to when we arrived. Even with Jake gone, there may be others that were involved in the actions, and we want to be able to convict if necessary. If she knows about what happened to Leah, well, it will at least let my parents rest knowing that she didn't run away from them and that she's not suffering somewhere."

I took the time in route to the hospital to make a call to Carlisle. I told him that Bella was found and her and Charlie's condition when they left the cabin for La Push General. As he relayed the message to Mom and Renee, I could hear their cries of relief that this nightmare was over. I asked him to let Alice, Emmett, Rose and Jasper know as well. After a short conversation over my well-being, I promised to call as soon as I got the specifics at the hospital.

When we finally arrived at the hospital, I could barely wait till the Chief had parked the car before I was out the door and running across the parking lot. I needed to be with Bella. We'd been apart long enough.

La Push General was a small, one-level hospital that hadn't likely seen this much action in months. I would make sure her needs were being met, and if need be I'd have her transferred to Seattle Memorial. I'd make sure to relay the doctor's names to Carlisle when I called back. When I entered the ER, I was met by a cheery, older woman behind the reception desk.

"Welcome to La Push General. My name's Glenda. May I help you?"

"Yes, I'm Dr. Edward Cullen, and my fiancée, Isabella Swan, and her father, Chief Charles Swan, were brought in by ambulance a bit ago. I'd like to see them, please."

Glenda smiled kindly and flipped through some papers before she handed me a clipboard. I saw Chief Clearwater enter the ER waiting room and take a seat. As odd as it sounded, I felt relief that I wasn't going to be waiting alone.

"Chief Swan is in surgery, but I will have Dr. Smith come speak to you when he's finished. Ms. Swan is being checked out by Dr. Burke, and they should be done shortly. Could you fill these papers out for Ms. Swan? I'll get you back as soon as I can."

I thanked Glenda and filled out what I could on her paperwork. I didn't have the information, such as her social security number or Renee's home telephone number, but I had enough information to get her registered. She could provide the rest when she was able. Chief Clearwater approached the desk as I went to sit down. I was sure he had official business to attend to.

As I waited, I scrolled through my cell. I'd left it off most of the trip and I had several missed calls and messages to attend to. The realtor in Phoenix had called and left me a message that my deal had closed, and I smiled hoping that this surprise would be a good one. Alice texted as I waited, letting me know that they were locking up my apartment and heading over to Mom and Dad's, and asking me to tell Bella that they were all thinking about her and loved her.

I tried to distract myself as best as I could, and couldn't help jumping to my feet as the ER doors swung open and a female doctor called out my name. No matter how composed I knew to be, I needed to see Bella myself. She wouldn't be safe and real to me until I could hold her in my arms.

"Dr. Cullen, I presume. Ms. Swan was very accurate in her description of you."

I walked the few steps over to her and held out my hand.

"Yes, I'm Dr. Edward Cullen. Please call me Edward. Is Bella okay? Can I see her?"

"My name is Dr. Burke and I'm the Chief of Emergency here at La Push General. If you will come with me, I want to talk to you in private before I take you to Ms. Swan."

I followed behind her and she stepped into a tiny office and closed the door.

"Can I get you anything to drink, Edward?"

"No, thank you. I just want to see Bella. You said you had something to discuss prior?"

My heart felt like lead in my chest.

"Yes, please have a seat. I promise this won't take long, and I'll get you to Ms. Swan."

I took a seat and waited as patiently as I could for the news.

"First off, I want to let you know that Ms. Swan's injuries appear to be superficial. No stitches were needed, and I've applied an antibiotic salve to the areas and covered her wrists and ankles in gauze wrapping. I've done x-rays and nothing appears broken or sprained, although she's going to be tender for some time yet. I believe that your administering the Xanax when you did prevented her body from going into deep shock and certainly prevented a panic attack. Ms. Swan has been lucid and calm throughout the procedures."

I let out a deep breath. I was relieved that no bones had been broken. Jake was a brute and a wrong twist or pull could have done serious damage. I still had concerns that I needed the answers to before I lost my mind.

"I understand. Was there any other trauma? Was she sexually assaulted?" I asked, knowing the answer could go either way.

Dr. Burke flipped open the chart in front of her and read over her notes.

"Ms. Swan was questioned about any sexual assault, and she denied anything of that nature occurring. We did do a standard evaluation, and no physical trauma or semen was found on her person, although we did do a rape kit, just in case she was drugged or has a period of time she's blocking out. She is running a low-grade fever and is dehydrated, so we have continued the drip and added a bag of antibiotics to prevent any infection, along with a mild sedative to help her rest for the next several hours. In all, Edward, Ms. Swan appears to have been very lucky. As you know, the emotional trauma will likely take awhile to heal from. She may need professional help, and you need to be prepared for that, okay? If all her tests are clear, I'll be sending her home with you tomorrow. Do you have any other questions before I take you back to see her?"

The weight on my heart had been lifted. Bella had been through so much in her life, and had just gotten herself into a comfortable place in her life where she could begin to make happy memories. The idea of her being violated in any way would set her back into a place that she might have never immerged from. The mental and emotional strain from the entire ordeal was going to be tough for us both, but we could handle it. However long it took.

"What about Chief Swan? He's in surgery?"

"Chief Swan sustained a gunshot wound to his shoulder and the bullet passed through cleanly. He told me that you checked him over at the cabin, and with your instruction, the bleeding was held to a minimum until medical help arrived. He was more worried about Ms. Swan than himself and I had to sedate him to get him into surgery. Dr. Smith is making sure to cauterize the wound and is stitching him up. He'll be sore for a few weeks, and may need some rehab to strengthen the shoulder, but barring infection he should make a 100% recovery. Now, would you like to see your fianceé?"

"Yes, more than anything. Thank you, Doctor."

Dr. Burke led me down the short hallway and into a small single room. Bella looked small and frail as she lie sleeping in the bed. Dr. Burke patted my arm as she left me, promising that she'd let us know when Charlie was out of surgery. I closed the door behind me and took a seat in the plastic chair by the bed. The only sounds in the room were the hum and beep of the IV pump and our quiet breathing. I took her fragile hand in mine and rubbed soothing circles over the top, avoiding the tender areas around her wrist and leaned into place my forehead against hers.

"Bella, I'm here, baby. I love you so much. I'm proud of how strong you are. Just rest and I'll be here when you wake up. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

_**BPOV**_

The ride to the hospital was long and tiring. I wanted to stay awake and talk to Charlie, but I was exhausted. He insisted that I rest and that he was going to be fine. He said he'd had worse spots on his eyeball than any old gunshot. Knowing he was well enough to crack a joke gave me some peace of mind.

Edward had been so thoughtful to think of bringing my Xanax and it was keeping the edge off of a panic attack. When I shut my eyes to rest though, all I could see was visions of the last several hours with Jake running through my mind like a DVD player set on repeat. Over and over in HD color.

First was of him towering over me, threatening to kill me if I didn't follow his instructions. I could hear the malice in Jake's voice when he talked about Leah and what she'd done to him and how I had to pay for being a cock-tease just like her. It made me sick to recall all the things Jake said he had done, first to Leah, and then to those girls on campus. Even Alice had been on his radar, but he'd backed away when he saw Jasper and Emmett with her one day. He made no secret about his sick fascination with me.

I knew he'd hurt me or worse if I didn't do as he asked, and the fear of being raped almost paralyzed me. It was the only fate equal or worse than death. I feared that Edward wouldn't want me anymore if Jake damaged me in _that way _and I'd just as soon be dead without Edward.

So I stalled for time. I told him I wasn't whole. That I had a terrible disease that made my body unattractive and that he could do so much better than me, hoping and praying that with my pleas Edward or the police would have some extra time to find me before it was too late. It seemed to shock him when I told him about my skin, but he said that as soon as he was fucking me, he would care less about what I looked like under my clothes. I couldn't help the pure bile that I vomited at the thought.

I'd managed to get him to take me out of the bedroom and into the living room so I had more room to maneuver. I knew he had the hunting knife and gun, so the likelihood of escaping alive was slim at best. Just when I'd all but given up hope and succumbed to Jake's advances, I heard the voices outside.

Jake began to yell and grabbed for me to act as a shield between himself and the police. The gun was drawn and I knew he'd shoot. Charlie was the first one through the door and I couldn't watch him die, so I did all I could by slamming my foot as hard as I could on top of Jake's. I don't know if it was pain or surprise, but his attention was diverted to me for a split second and it gave Charlie time to draw his weapon. Shots fired and I screamed as the smell of gunpowder wafted through the open space. My body fell in slow motion until there was nothing but darkness.

I remembered hearing Detective Perry talking to me, but it sounded so far away. Like I was underwater and drifting farther and farther away from reality. I worried about where Jake was, and if Charlie was alive after the gunshot wound I knew he'd received. I wondered about Edward and if he'd ever try to love again once I was gone.

Then I heard the sweetest voice, and I was sure I was hallucinating.

Edward. I listened to his voice, trying to memorize it in case I never heard it again. His words of love calming me in a way that no drug would be able to do. Slowly, I allowed myself to come to the surface. I didn't want to open my eyes and have the dream be over. He sounded so close. So real. When I opened my eyes, I was shocked to see those deep green eyes peering back at me with such love and emotion.

I clung to him for dear life. Edward was the air I needed to survive. He held my head and placed the Xanax on my tongue. I could hardly swallow, but the water cooled my heated body as I drank it. I wanted to tell him that I hadn't let Jake violate me, but I couldn't find the words before the EMT came to take me to the hospital.

I knew, rationally, that life wasn't like some fictional novel and that he would most likely not be able to stay with me in the ambulance. I asked him not to leave me, and he promised he'd be right behind the ambulance. I had to accept that.

When we arrived at the hospital, Charlie was whisked away quickly. The EMT, Eric, explained that he'd need to have surgery to repair the tendons and muscle damaged by the gunshot, and that he'd be fine. I was rolled into an exam room and in just a few minutes a petite blonde with a lab coat entered the cubicle.

"Thanks, Eric. Ms. Swan, I'm Dr. Burke. I'm the Chief of Emergency here at La Push General. I understand that you've undergone quite a traumatic event, and I'd like to look you over and check your injuries, okay?"

I nodded as Eric patted my hand and pulled the curtain closed as he left. Dr. Burke had a kind smile and soothing voice. I really wanted Edward with me though.

"Um, has my fiancé arrived yet?" I asked nervously, wringing the sheet between my fingers.

"Not yet. I'll be sure to send him back when he gets here. We've just sent Chief Swan back to the OR for a minor surgery to close his shoulder wound, but he should be fine and in his room in a few hours. What's your fiancé's name so I can let Glenda know to be expecting him?"

"Edward. Dr. Edward Cullen. Tall, auburn hair, green eyes, extremely good looking. You can't miss him."

Dr. Burke laughed as she put on her exam gloves. I was glad that Dr. Burke was a woman. I don't think I could have gone through the examination with a male doctor without Edward. She did the typical exam, and dressed the wounds to my ankles and wrists with a pasty medicine that seemed to instantly soothe the burn.

"Ms. Swan, your wrists and ankles appear to have skin-deep damage that should heal quickly with the salve I'm going to prescribe and changing the dressings three times a day for awhile. I'm going to start you on an antibiotic drip just in case there is any infection. How long have you had psoriasis?"

"Since I was a young teenager. It's managed fairly well with weekly Enbrel injections."

"My mother has psoriasis, though it's a mild case. I'm glad you've found something that works for you. Are you on any other medication besides the Enbrel?"

"Yes, I take Xanax for nerves as needed. Carlisle upped me to daily for awhile, but I was weaning myself back down before … this. Edward had them with him when he came to the cabin, and I took one before I came here."

"Carlisle?"

I felt embarrassed that I'd not clarified my doctor, and that I'd used his first name, especially after the whole debacle of Edward not being able to treat me professionally if we were involved.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen-Edward's dad is a dermatologist at Seattle Memorial and he's my medical doctor."

Dr. Burke made the notes in her chart. I was growing increasingly anxious and wondering what was taking Edward so long to get to the hospital. I needed him and the peace that he was able to project to me.

"Okay. Now comes the hard part. Were you sexually violated in any way by your captor at the cabin? It's okay to tell me, and I won't divulge the information to anyone but the police in charge of the case. I will have to do a rape kit either way, since you could have been drugged or blacked out at some point."

I felt my face flush. I knew I had been just moments away from being raped and likely murdered. Thankfully I knew I had been awake when Jake was in the cabin and nothing had occurred.

"No, I wasn't raped. He tried to … touch me, but that's all. I understand that you have to do your job, Doctor, but I'm really nervous. Could you give me something to relax me first? Please?"

Dr. Burke nodded and reached in her pocket. She pulled out a syringe and injected the IV tubing with the drug.

"It's a mild, quick acting sedative. It will relax you for the exam and probably knock you out for a few hours. When I'm done with the kit, I'm going to pull some blood samples and then have you taken to your room. If everything comes back clear, we'll let you go home sometime tomorrow. Okay?"

"Okay, thank you," I replied with a thickening tongue. "Please make sure Edward finds his way to me …"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I was floating in a dreamlike state. The electrical feeling that I felt when Edward touched me was coursing through my body. My mouth was dry like I'd swallowed sand. I shifted in the bed and willed my heavy lids to open.

"Bella?"

I turned toward the melodic voice and felt a sleepy smile spread across my face as my eyes met his.

"Edward. You made it."

Edward chuckled and leaned in closer to me.

"Wild horses couldn't drag me from this bed, baby. I've been here since they moved you to the room. Now, can I get you anything? Water? Something to eat?"

"A drink, please. My throat feels like sandpaper. How long have I been out?"

Edward reached to the bedside table and poured a glass of water. He held my head up as I took greedy sips, nearly causing myself to choke. I'd only had the one bottle of water and what Edward had given me at the cabin since long before I left Edward's apartment.

"That's the meds, beautiful. You were out when I got here a few hours ago and have been ever since. Once they wear off, you'll feel much better. How are your wrists?"

I wiggled them slowly and marveled at how much better they felt in just a few hours.

"A little sore but bearable. What about Charlie? Is he out of surgery? Is he okay? I need to see him!"

"Easy does it, little girl. Charlie is fine. Dr. Smith stopped by while you slept and gave me report. He made it through surgery without any complications and he's resting, just next door. When the nurse comes in to check you, we'll see if I can finagle a wheelchair from her and take you to him. Okay?"

"Okay, thank you. I need to see Chief Clearwater too, Edward. I know things … terrible things that Jake said he'd done. Oh, Edward, I was so scared."

"Shhh, baby. I know you were scared, but it's over now. You're safe. God knows I've never been so scared in my life."

I settled down as Edward lovingly stroked my face. I'm sure I looked like Medusa or worse, but I couldn't find it in me to care. Edward was here, with me.

"Have you called everyone back home?"

Edward nodded and ran his fingers through his hair, like he always did when he was embarrassed or anxious.

"Um, yeah. I talked to Carlisle, Renee and Alice while you were sleeping. I had to bribe Alice with a new pair of heels from some ridiculous designer to keep her from dragging Jazz all the way here so she could change you into appropriate pajamas and fix your hair. Renee was staying with Mom and Dad, but said she'd be coming later tonight to see you and check on Charlie. Phil stayed in Jacksonville at your mom's insistence. I think once she sees that you're okay, she's going to stay here with Charlie until he can travel back to Forks. All of your tests came back fine, so I'm springing you from this joint tomorrow. Carlisle and Esme are waiting to ambush us as soon as we go home."

Home. Those words sound like heaven, although rehabilitating in the dormitory was less than appealing. My heart ached at the thought of having to be apart from Edward again so soon.

"Am I going back to the dorms?" I asked as my voice broke slightly.

Edward smiled timidly and reached for my hand. The gesture was so tender and loving, yet I could feel there was something he needed to get off his chest.

"I wanted to talk to you about that. I don't think you need to be at the dorms. You're going to need your dressings changed three times a day for awhile. Plus, the emotional strain you've been under will require your anxiety meds to be upped back to daily or more often. Bella, I want you to stay with me at the apartment. I know I'm being a greedy bastard by asking you this now, while you recover but I want you to move in with me, baby. Permanently. I was already planning on asking you to move in with me before this all happened. It's not a rash or spur-of-the-moment decision, baby. I can't even think about losing you again or going one more night without you by my side. I love you to the point it hurts to breathe when we're apart. Please, Isabella Marie Swan. Please say yes."

I looked deep into his eyes. Eyes that were full of love and commitment. I had no qualms about moving in with Edward. Things that might have bothered me just a few days ago, like Edward wanting to buy me a car or pay for my schooling no longer held any merit. We'd had wonderful times the past several months. Falling in love. Making love for the first time. Going to Phoenix and Forks. Getting engaged. But we'd also suffered pain and loss over things we couldn't control. I never wanted to take one more second of my life for granted. It had taken near tragedy for me to realize this. I took his hands in mine as the tears of happiness streaked down my face.

"Edward, I don't want to ever be apart from you again. I love you too much and don't want to miss one second of forever with you. When we met, I had erected so many walls around myself to keep others out and also to keep my feelings in. I'd let the psoriasis ostracize me from living a full and happy life. Once I met you, those walls began to crumble around me. I never knew that I could feel such happiness. You made me feel beautiful with your words and actions and I'll be forever thankful. It was your strength and the symbol of our love on my ring finger that kept me sane while I was taken from you. I know we'll have ups and downs, but what couple doesn't. I need you to help me heal from all this with Jake, and now I'm strong enough to know I can do it so we have the rest of our lives to share with each other. We can even start planning for a ridiculously extravagant wedding sometime in the future, after we both graduate. So, yes, I'll move in with you, Edward Anthony Cullen."

"God, I love you, Bella. So much. You make me the happiest damn man on the planet. Our forever begins right now, baby. Right now."

Edward pulled me to his body. His hands wrapped lovingly around my body as I threaded my fingers through his hair. His lips lowered to mine as our eyes both closed in the reverence of the moment. Our lips caressing as we held each other tightly. I knew we had obstacles to cross. Chief Clearwater needed to hear what Jacob had told me about the death of his sister and several other crimes that he'd threatened me with. Charlie would need us to help keep him sane as he recovered from his gun shot wound. We had schooling to complete and friends to hang out with. All those things would be handled in time, but for now, it was just Edward and I and our lives together were bright and just beginning.

_**The End **_

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

**A/N: I didn't end it, did I? Um, yeah. That's the last regular chapter of LDTW. What was going to be two chapters, just merged into one. I do have an epi planned, but I'm not sure when I'll post it. Gah, now I'm all teary and emotional. I have so many people to thank. Firstly, none of this would have been possible with out the encouragement, patience and guidance from twimom817, kare831 and most recently, darcysmom. They've kept me on the straight and narrow, kept me in present tense, and helped me emotionally when I was ready to throw in the towel. I love you guys and cherish the friendships we've made during this journey. I want to thank you, the readers for reviewing my work and making me feel like you really wanted to read more each week. I've said it before, but you guys made me feel like a rock star every week when I opened and replied to my reviews. You guys are the greatest! I want to thank AnillicitWriter for creating my blog and making it so pretty with all the Rob/Edward eye candy, and vbfb19 for making me manips when I asked and for the awesome banner for LDTW. Thanks to credoroza/Fandom Fanatic for being the first to pimp my story to the masses and for taking the time to go into my blog and create affiliates and do other things for me after my laptop crashed in December. So many have rec'd LDTW, I can't name you all but you know who you are. THANK YOU! I've loved being a part of each of your lives these past 5 months. Catch you all real soon when I start my new fic.- **


	36. Chapter 36

Letting Down the Walls

Chapter 36

**A/N: Wow. This is a day that I really never thought I'd ever see. After trying to write several different epilogues and nothing read or sounded right, I've decided, with the help of my friends and a few fellow readers, to end LDTW with the HEA in chapter 35. There will be an outtake posted later this month called "Jacob's Downfall" but otherwise I'm finished with this journey. **

**I want to thank EVERYONE for the adds, favorites, shout-out's, blog articles, contest nominations, and the reviews. Almost 1,000 reviews for a first-time writer penning a story about a young woman afflicted with psoriasis, and her journey into friendship and true love, is amazing and heart-warming. My crazy story was well-received and loved by so many. **

**None of this would be possible without the help from kare831, twimom817 and darcysmom. They held my hand when I was overwhelmed, talked me through many RL issues that made me cry, lined me out when I whined, stayed totally honest when my words made no sense, and they made my work streamlined and as grammatically correct as it could be. Credoroza, you gave LDTW its first real boost and I can't ever thank you enough for believing in me and my story. Mel(vbfb19), you made kick-ass banners and manips for me, and know you ALWAYS will be the first one I go for graphics. Just know that you guys have become family to me. I love each of you so much, and have been blessed to have you all in my life. **

**Thanks again to the readers for making this ride so memorable and fun. I'm not going to stop writing, and I'm currently writing my first AU DocVampWard. It's another kinda unique story from me, and I'd love it if you'd give it a shot. Hope to see you all soon! **

**Teresa**


	37. Chapter 37

**Link to Banner:**

**Banner Designer: vbfb19**

**Jacob's Downfall- a Letting Down the Walls Outtake**

**By: Edward's my obsession 1971**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Violence, language, sexual situations**

**Betas: darcysmom, twimom817 and kare831**

**Summary: Bella Swan is a transfer student to U Dub from Phoenix with severe self-esteem issues stemming from a chronic disease. Edward Cullen is a jaded med school student seeing patients at his father's dermatology practice. When they meet, will Bella let Edward into her life, or is she too damaged for love?**

_**This is all in BPOV. **_

I moaned as I struggled to wake up from my nightmare. My wrists and ankles burned and my mouth was so dry I could barely swallow. I was damp with sweat and anxiety. From the small window I could see that was past dawn and I had evidently fallen asleep sometime in the middle of the night. My body protested the movement, but I crawled from the bed and made my way to the locked door.

The house was silent and I knew Jake was still gone. My wrists and ankles throbbed with every heartbeat as I began to pace the tiny room. I knew my body well enough to know that I was becoming dehydrated and could only hope that when Jake returned that he'd be sympathetic to my needs.

I swallowed back the bile in my throat and sat down on the bed knowing that my time was dwindling until I would have to come face-to-face with my fear. Jake had left me with no doubt that he would be back, and when he was that he had plans to take my will and whatever else he desired. My shattered heart and muddled brain tried to block out what was going to happen, but I'd do whatever it took to save the ones I loved from Jacob's retaliation, even if I sacrificed myself to do so. My heart would never love another. I only craved the touch of one man.

_Edward._

My heart constricted and ached at just the thought of his name. Images of his tender kisses, crooked smile, and loving caresses flooded my senses. It had been too long since I was taken and I was too far from home to have much hope of being saved. I would hold on to the hope as long as I could … be strong for Edward … and pray that when I was gone that my one true love would find happiness again. If anyone in this world deserved happiness, it was my Edward. I twirled the platinum band that graced the third finger of my left hand. It was the only tangible tie I had left of him and our love for each other.

Sounds of gravel crunching under tires shook me from my reverie. My feverish skin broke into a million goose bumps as I heard the engine cut off and the car door shut. In a matter of seconds the front door slammed and the sound of heavy footsteps echoed about the cabin. I jumped from the bed and crouched in the dark corner of the room and prayed for strength and courage in the face of the storm.

"Oh, Belllaaaa," Jake sang from behind the door, "I'm back and ready for playtime."

I swallowed instinctively as I heard the sound of keys jangling on a key ring and the clicking of the locks on the door. When the door flew open I cringed, but I knew there was no escape. He was back, and my time was up.

I brought myself up from the floor and raised my chin to meet Jake's menacing glare. I may be weak, but I wasn't going to let him win easily. I'd give him whatever I had to ensure my loved ones safety, but he'd look me in the eye as he took what I wouldn't freely give. I'd fought too hard to get my life back. I owed this much to myself.

"Please, Jake. My mouth is dry and I'm feeling feverish. I need some water."

Jake took three strides across the room until I was looking straight up at his hulking form. I hadn't knowingly been around drugs in my life, but I could tell by the way his pupils were dilated that he was high. His hand ran up my arm and shoulder until it was laced in my hair. With a hard tug he pulled me flush to his chest. The involuntary shudder from my body caused him to tighten his grasp.

"You'll drink when I say you drink. I've been waiting for you long enough. My dick needs some attention, and I've snorted enough dust to fuck you for hours. Now move your ass to the bed and get those damned clothes off. You're dressed like it's the dead of winter."

Jake gave me a small shove and I fell onto the bed. Tears clouded my vision as I fought to stay composed. I would not give him my body that easily. I watched as Jake's hand lowered to his crotch and he palmed his erection through his jeans.

"So fucking hot, but you know that, don't you. Walking around in all these clothes, taunting me with what's underneath; making me hard for you while you fuck that pathetic excuse of a man. You were mine first!"

No! He wasn't going to tarnish my feelings for Edward that way. Edward had me from hello! I scooted off the opposite side of the bed and stood. My body shaking from fear and anger.

"No, Jake. I've never been anything but an acquaintance who tried to be your friend, and you abused that when you touched me without my permission. Edward has my heart and soul. You'll never have that from me."

Jake laughed as he began to circle the bed toward me. I eyed the open door and kept the bed between Jake and I. Could I lure him out of this room? I felt my chances were better in the open area of the house.

"Make no mistake, Bella. You _are_ mine, and I will have you in _every way_ possible before I make sure Cullen doesn't end up with sloppy seconds. Your fate was sealed, just like Leah's, when you chose Cullen and his money over me."

We had circled the bed until I was rounding the footboard. I had a clear shot for the open door. Just a few more steps …

I'd certainly never be known for my speed and grace, but somehow I managed to surprise him and made it out the doorway into the open living area before he caught up with me. He shoved me roughly onto the couch and leaned over me with the silver pistol waving in my face.

"You fucking bitch! You do not run from me! Is that clear?"

I nodded frantically. Now Jake was furious with me and I'd foolishly forgotten about the gun. I closed my eyes and waited for his body to consume mine or for a bullet to rip through my skin. I tried to go to a happy place in my mind; a place where Edward held me safely in his arms. Before I could mentally shut down, Jake began to pace the floor and rant as he waved the gun in the air.

"Just like Leah. Always looking for something better. Someone with more money and education. Running from your destiny. Well, do you know what happened to Leah? She got what she fucking deserved. When she told me she was leaving me for another man, I couldn't believe it. We'd been together since we were kids! Some fancy douche with a college degree came and took her away from me. She was my life! When we drove to the cliffs, I tried to show her how much I loved her, but she wouldn't listen to me. She backed away from me like I was a damn leper. When she got too close to the edge of the cliff, I could've saved her, but she deserved to die for what she did to me. My life was over and when she fell, so was hers. No man was going to touch what was mine!"

I stared at Jake in shock. Maybe he hadn't killed Leah with his bare hands, but he played a huge roll in her death. I was afraid to speak. His attention was a million miles away on a time long past. This was buying me precious time.

_Please, Edward! Hurry! I need you!_

"I drove back home, and played the part of the grieving boyfriend. Her dumbass brother, Seth was the newly appointed Chief of Police, and he never suspected a thing. Thought she ran off from everyone. I left the rez for Seattle soon after, looking for a new life."

Leah's poor family thought she'd run away. If I made it through this alive, I'd make sure that her family knew the truth, so they could have some type of closure. Jake stood by the front door and stared out the window.

"All those girls on campus, with their dark hair and dark eyes, teasing me with their kisses, giggles and tight clothes. I searched and searched for you. None of those girls were you and it pissed me off. Finally, that day on the quad, I found what I'd been looking for."

Jake turned sharply and looked me in the eye. I stood from the couch and tried to stop my hands from shaking as he walked stealthily toward me. I felt like I was going to pass out from fear and dehydration.

"You stumbled into my life, but I'd been watching you. Trying to figure out where you lived. I knew those fucking Cullens had befriended you, so I was patient and diligent. When I touched you, I knew I had to make you mine. It's taken all this time to make my plan work, but I have you now. Stop fighting me. It won't work. I may be going to hell, but I'm taking you with me when I go."

Jake reached out and jerked my body toward his. He ran the gun down my face and neck as he roughly began grabbing at the fabric of my shirt, trying to rip it from my body.

"Please, no…" I whimpered as I felt his hands snake under the fabric of my shirt and across my belly up to my breasts.

"Fuck yeah," Jake said as he roughly palmed my right breast as his other hand rested over my abdomen, still clutching the pistol.

A sound from outside distracted both Jake and me.

"What the …"

I could hear the low rumble of voices. My heart sped at the thought of help being just outside the door. A moment of fear ripped through me as I thought that he may have called for his friends to join in raping me and getting rid of the body.

"_Jacob Black! Lower your weapon and back away from Ms. Swan. She's innocent. WE have you outnumbered. Let's talk this out, Jacob. Don't turn this into a bloodbath."_

Jake held me tight as he drug me away from the window and door. I heard the sound of metal on metal as he cocked the pistol and pointed it toward my head. I tried to pull free, to no avail.

"Fuck you, Seth. I have a gun pointed at her head. I will shoot her first and then take your worthless ass out next."

The next moments went by in slow motion. I watched the door fly open and bodies entering the open doorway. A familiar uniformed officer locked eyes with me as he trained his gun toward Jake.

Dad!

"Jake, put the gun down and no one gets hurt. You need help, and I'll see that you get it. Bella's done nothing wrong, and you need to let her go now."

Jake threw his head back and laughed. The steel from the gun barrel grazed my temple as he lowered the gun until it was pointing straight at Charlie. I could see Detective Perry and who I assumed was Chief Clearwater flanking Charlie, both with their guns trained on Jake.

I had to make a move. I couldn't watch my father die without trying to do something! I twisted in Jake's arms and slammed my foot down on top of his as hard as I could. In his surprise he loosened his hold on me and I freed myself from his grasp. I stumbled over my feet as the gunshots echoed across the cabin.

No!

"_Shots fired. Shots fired. Officer down. Repeat. Officer down. Suspect down. Where the hell is that ambulance?"_

My body felt like I was suspended between fantasy and reality. I was exhausted and as my body collapsed onto the floor, I heard the sweetest voice calling my name.

"_Bella! Where the hell is Bella? What the fuck happened? I heard everything on the radio!"_

The voice faded away and I smiled as I drifted into the darkness.

**A/N: I am pleased to write this outtake for F4NKH. As a mother, I can't stand the thought of any child being hungry. It's just not acceptable, so I'm going to do my part to help. Many wanted more detail on what happened in the hours prior to the shoot out in the cabin. For those who haven't read chapter 34 of _Letting Down the Walls_, you will be a bit lost. It won't hurt my feelings if you check out the whole story, but you do need to read chapter 34 as a companion to this. Thanks as always to my great pre-reading/beta team behind the scenes; kare831, twimom817 and darcysmom. Wouldn't post a word without them!**


	38. Chapter 38

Important Letting Down the Walls Update!

Hello readers! Just wanted to get the word out that I have finally completed the epilogue/outtake for Letting Down the Walls. It's being donated to the Fandom Against Juvenile Diabetes cause, and will be posted to Fan Fiction in early June. The link to the donated compilation is fandomajuvdiabetes dot blogspot dot com. I hope you donate and read, or you come back in June to see how the story ends. Or both. Lol. Thanks! Teresa


	39. Chapter 39Epilogue

Letting Down the Walls Outtake: The Wedding

Epilogue

Summary: Bella and Edward met under unique circumstances, and had overcome the many obstacles life had given them to get to where they were today, their wedding. This outtake is taken strictly from Edward's point of view of the road to his happily ever after with the woman he loves.

_**EPOV**_

Five years. It's been five years since a beautiful, timid, and broken young woman stumbled into my life, and knocked me on my ass. Even more, if you'd told me five years and one day ago that I'd meet this amazing creature within a ten-by-ten examination room at my father's dermatology practice, I'd have laughed in your face, especially if you'd told me she was going to be one of my first patients.

I was happy being single, after I had cashed in my man-card for several years over the debacle with super-whore, Tanya, and I was focused on finishing med school, and becoming a doctor, not seeing any reason to deviate from my well-thought-out plan. But the Fates had something more in mind for me. I still can't wrap my head around this some days. As I walk aimlessly around the pastor's office of the First Christian Church, dressed in a traditional black tuxedo, complete with tails, white silk tie, vest, and black leather shoes, accompanied with a case of sweaty palms and an erratic heartbeat, with my brother, Emmett, brother-in-law, Jasper, and my father, Carlisle, the realization is finally beginning to settle into my bones.

Isabella Marie Swan is about to become my wife.

Mrs. Edward Cullen

Bella Cullen

Dr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen

Hell, at this point, I'd change my name to Edward Swan if that made Bella happy. Yeah, I'm whipped, and I'm ready to be married to my sweet angel.

_What the fuck is taking so long? _

"Dude, will you stop pacing? I'm gonna need a fucking Valium if you don't chill the hell out, bro," Emmett announced as I made another circuit around the room.

"Good heavens, Emmett. Can you please use appropriate language? Do I need to go get your mother, or Rose to smack some sense into you? We are in a church, you know," Carlisle chastised. "Edward, do you need something for anxiety? It's not uncommon to be nervous, you know."

I shook my head, unable to voice the cacophony of emotions running rampant in my head.

"Take a deep breath, Edward. Seriously, you've got this, man. She loves you, and you're about to be married to your soul mate. Let me tell ya, it doesn't get any better than that, my friend, except when your wife tells ya you're gonna be a daddy," Jasper said with a huge smile, placing a calming hand on my shoulder.

Jasper and Alice had married two years ago, in a breathtaking beach wedding in the Bahamas, and both had started successful careers post-graduation. Jasper was a curator and teacher at the Seattle Museum of History and Industry, and Alice used part of her inheritance to open a boutique in downtown Seattle, specializing in stylish, custom-fit clothing for the handicapped, and for people with skin disorders, like burns or psoriasis. They were perfectly matched for each other, and I was proud to call Jasper my brother. He made my baby sister happy, and they'd just found out six weeks ago that Baby Whitlock was arriving in mid- April of the coming year. Auntie Bella was very excited to say the least, and, at last count, Bella had already purchased five newborn boy outfits for the baby because Alice 'knew' she was having a son, to be named Benjamin Carlisle Whitlock, on April 14th.

I'd learned long ago to never bet against Alice.

"Yeah, bro. Emma being born was the pinnacle of my life," Emmett said with a grin. "Now, if I can just talk Rosie into getting hitched. She's still blowing me off."

_Emmett knows what the word pinnacle means? And I need brain bleach to get the image of Rose 'blowing Emmett off' out of my head. Seriously, it's a disturbing image. I may need therapy from the thought alone. _

Emmett and Rose, well, they were anything but traditional. After Rose graduated U Dub, they got engaged, and bought a condo down near the Sound. Life was good for them. Emmett had lucked into his dream job as a physical therapist with the Seattle Mariners, and Rose was running an online marketing business for buyers and sellers of vintage cars. About three months after they bought the condo, Rose got sick with a severe bronchial infection, and went on a course of antibiotics. Emmett had gotten used to not needing a condom, since Rose was on the pill, and Rose didn't think about it either. Eight months later, Emma Annalise Cullen was born. She was the spitting image of her mom, but had Emmett's boisterous laughter and dimples. At three, she had us all wrapped around her finger and her 'Aunt Bewwa' loved to spoil her rotten. However, Rose said she was in no hurry to tie the knot, and wouldn't until she was ready. Having a child with Emmett didn't make a wedding a necessity, in her eyes.

To each his own. I'm more than ready to marry my Bella.

"He's right, Son. Bella has been your sun and moon for five years. You two have established a home together and today is the final piece of the equation. Many search, but few find a love alike that is shared between yourself and Bella. Relish this special time in your life. Believe me, it only gets better from here," Carlisle said knowingly. "And babies are an extra bonus. With my three children and their significant others, little Emma, and the newest one on the way, I know what a blessing they can be."

Loving Bella wasn't an issue. Falling for her had been as easy as breathing, and when she'd said yes to marrying me, I didn't think I could have been happier. When she agreed to moving in with me, life seemed to fall into place. Bella had been through so much in her life, but had never faltered in her support of my dreams and aspirations. We had talked about having children, and I was a bit worried she'd be against having her own, for fear of passing along the psoriasis factor, since it tends to be hereditary, but Bella surprised me, and said yes to having my babies. She had never allowed herself to dream about having children, until she met me, and that statement broke my heart.

Fuck yes, I wanted children with Bella. Beautiful brown haired, brown eyed angels, like their mom. And I SURE as hell wanted the perks of the sex it took to make those babies. Lots and lots of being buried balls-deep within Bella's warm, wet heaven…

_Cullen, you better get a grip or you'll be meeting your bride with a titanium erection in your $2,500.00 tux. And Charlie always packs his service pistol … let's not press our luck._

I didn't want Bella to EVER feel like she was missing out on anything in her life. It was my goal to never see her want for anything, even though Bella fought me over anything she deemed frivolous. While she had her BA in English literature, after much discussion and encouragement on my part, and since money wasn't an issue for us, she'd begrudgingly waived her options of getting an immediate- paying job as an English teacher in lieu of her true passion, writing her first novel, aptly titled, _Letting Down the Walls_**. **Bella had been nurturing this idea for quite some time, filling up several journals with ideas. She wanted to tell her story to the world, in hopes of educating the masses on the full spectrum of psoriasis and its effects on a person, mentally and physically. In her words, 'I want to let others know that life with the disease can be full and rewarding, and that you can fall in love with someone who sees past your faults and get your happily ever after'.

I couldn't argue with that logic. Happily ever after's didn't only happen in fairy tales, romance novels, and cheesy chick flicks. We were living proof of that.

Bella had always been highly intelligent, and excelled in her college studies, graduating Magna Cum Laude as a specialist in English literature. However, she doubted her skills when it came to creative writing. I don't know why she doubted herself, but Bella was exceptionally good at underestimating her abilities. God knows the woman had read more damn books in the past five years than I had in my entire life, so she knew what made a good story. At her request, I'd read the rough draft of the book she'd written, and I was floored at how she wove a version of her personal story together with all the sadness, and angst, and love she'd encountered in her life. She'd changed the names, of course, but I still had a hard time reading about what she'd endured from her high school peers, and especially at the hands of that fucking psychopath, Jacob Black. Even though I knew he'd never hurt her again, some days I wished he was still alive so I could torture him endlessly. Death was too easy of an out for him, but I had to believe there was a deep, fiery, torturous pit of Hell reserved for men like Black. While Bella and Charlie had recovered from their physical scars, each of us carried mental scars as a reminder of how quickly life can be taken away, and those never go away.

However, even with his inclusion in the story, and because I knew Black was a pivotal part of her past, I was honest when I said it was highly publishable, and told her to 'go for it'. After months of editing, Bella finally sent the completed story off to a few publishing houses, but she held on to the idea that no one would show any interest in a story about a girl with psoriasis. I wanted her to follow her dreams. God, was I was proud of the woman she had become. When the call came, a few months later, from a small publishing company who loved her work and wanted to put it in e-book and hard copy print, Bella was ecstatic. The publish date will fall just before Christmas this year, and she decided to use Isabella M. Cullen as her pen name. Yeah, hearing Bella's name followed with my last name me smile like a Cheshire cat for weeks.

Living the past few years with Bella had been a continuing process of destroying the walls she'd enclosed herself behind for so many years, and she had become a vibrant flower in midst of the flares of painful skin and scars. While Bella had mostly good days now, she still had bad days. When she sunk into the blackness of those bad days, they were the lowest of lows. She hated her appearance, had some residual PTSD from her time with Black in that god-damned cabin, and she'd retreat into herself when she couldn't handle things. I doubt if that will ever change, as the disease was never going to go away, but thankfully, her need for anti-anxiety medication had lessened to the point of only needing it in extreme cases. As with her psoriasis injections, those are a study of trial and error, and no one medication is effective for the long haul. The Enbrel stopped being effective several years ago, but now she was thriving on oral methotrexate, and monthly Remicade infusions. Bella cried for a week when Dad told her it'd be in her best interest to have a Medi-Port installed in her chest wall, so she wasn't being poked and prodded for each blood draw and infusion. 'A permanent device implanted and another permanent scar' was hard for her to accept, but she did in the end. All I could do was remind Bella how beautiful she was to me, and that her outer shell didn't matter, whatsoever. Her inner self was brilliant, and I told her so, daily. Truly, I was blinded to any visible flaws Bella had, and the inner battle was part of who she'd always be, and I would always be the protector of her heart and soul.

A knock on the door stopped my inner ramblings. Alice peeked in the room, and caught my eye with a huge smile. I let out a deep breath and smiled back in relief. My life was about to truly begin.

"It's time," she said, full of Alice-typical excitement, including hopping up and down a couple of times in her five-inch heels and fitted silk dress. "Before you ask, Edward, Bella is nervous, but handling it all in stride, without any meds, and she looks absolutely stunning, even if I did design the dress myself, and even though she has on satin flats instead of the Jimmy Choo stilettos, which would've looked perfect with her gown. I do have a few messages to pass along before I go, so listen up. Bella said to tell you that she 'loves you very much and she'll be the one coming down the aisle, last, in white'. Charlie says, and I quote, 'to hurry the hell up and do this thing because I'm choking on this damned tie, and my crazy ex-wife won't stop blubbering about not being old enough to have a daughter getting married, so I may choke her before the wedding starts, and it isn't legal if I don't give her to you, Cullen'. So, Mom got Renee out of the dressing room PDQ, and gave her a couple of Bella's Xanax. Sorry Doc's, but it had to happen before the wedding turned into an episode of _Jerry Springer_. She's already higher than a kite, and seated with Phil. Rose has Charlie under control, but it's tenuous at best, so, let's get a move on. I'm finally getting the sister I've always wanted, so nothing can screw this up now, especially with Bella in my one-of-a-kind wedding dress. Go take your places at the altar, and let's get this show on the road."

I snorted back a laugh under my breath. Even though Charlie and Renee are normally civil to each other, the vast differences in their personalities makes me wonder how in the hell they ever thought they were compatible to begin with. Renee is quirky, and talks non-stop, while Charlie is a typical cop and avid outdoorsman of few words. The most important thing, in my opinion, was that Charlie and Renee stayed together long enough to create their daughter, and, for that blessed event alone, I'd forever be grateful.

"Thanks, Alice. Please, keep Charlie in check, and tell Bella I love her and I cannot wait until the preacher tells me I can kiss my beautiful bride."

"Will do, now go!" Alice nodded and winked at me as she hurried away. I love my pixie of a sister, and will owe her and Rose for the rest of my life for befriending Bella when she needed friends the most. I can't even think about how badly things could have gone if Bella hadn't let them in, or they hadn't accepted her as she was.

Pastor Webber appeared at the door and motioned for us to follow him through a side entrance into the congregation hall. Wordlessly, Carlisle clasped my shoulder in support, as Jasper and Emmett shuffled out the door. This was it. In a few short minutes, Bella would be my wife. I closed my eyes and said a short prayer.

_Thank you, Lord. I don't know what I did to deserve this happiness, but thank you for allowing me the extreme honor of becoming Isabella Swan's husband. I promise to love, cherish, respect and honor her for all my remaining days on this earth. Amen._

I followed Carlisle, and as he took his seat by Mom, I walked to my place under the wrought iron archway, decorated with roses and calla lilies, in front of the altar. Emmett and Jasper took their places to my left, and Pastor Webber stood to my right. The congregation was filled to capacity, and the sounds of Bach's "Ava Maria"filled the church with a warm tranquility.

This was it!

Emma was first to appear, in her sky blue dress, blonde curls bouncing as she carefully scattered red and white rose petals onto the white carpeted runway. She made it almost the whole way, and when she looked up at me with her angelic face, I couldn't help but feel that all was well in the world. I also laughed along with the crowd in attendance when she blurted out 'Hi Poppy! Hi Gamma! I did so good! I get a supwise. Daddy said so!', when she stopped at Carlisle and Esme's pew. What else would we expect from a three year old created from Emmett's sperm?

Once Emma was stationed in her spot, with a little shushing and prompting from her Poppy and Gamma, Alice and Rose made their timed arrivals. Both girls looking beautiful in the blue silk gowns Bella had fallen in love with, and getting appreciative smiles from their men. As the music morphed into Mendelssohn's "Wedding March", my heart began to race in my chest. What if she bails on me? I had been forced to watch the DVD of _Runaway Bride_ more than once when the cable went out while Bella and I had been snowed in last winter. When the double doors to the church foyer opened up, and my eyes met the most glorious sight they'd envisioned, I knew my worries were unfounded.

Charlie looked more than a bit uncomfortable in his dubbed "Monkey Suit", but my eyes couldn't leave the exceptionally beautiful creature he was walking down the aisle. Alice had forbid me to even see a sketch of Bella's wedding dress, not that I hadn't bitched and moaned a few times over the stupidity of her superstitions, especially when Alice whisked Bella away from our home at noon yesterday for a spa day with she, Mom, and Rose, and I wasn't able to see her again until this moment. But for once, I was glad to be seeing Bella in all of her wedding glory, fresh and new to my eyes and mind.

Bella's gown was floor length, and appeared to be an opalescent under the lighting. It was a traditional white bridal gown, but modified to give Bella the skin coverage she desired without appearing cumbersome or old-fashioned. The bodice looked to be satin with a delicate lace overlay, and the sleeves were made of the same lacy material, adorned with vines and flowers, to be sheer, yet not see-through. She held a simple arrangement of roses and calla lilies, wrapped in blue ribbon. A simple tiara with a short veil attached to the back sat atop her mahogany locks, which had been styled into waves and left down its full length. Her face wasn't overly made-up, but just enough to accentuate her natural beauty, and that was what we both preferred. She didn't need all that shit marring her face.

Bella was stunning.

It seemed to take years for Charlie to make his way to the end of the aisle, and when he did, it took all my willpower not to reach out and take her from him. By the way Bella was looking back at me, I think she felt the same way. Pastor Webber had us all under control though.

"Dearly beloved friends and family, we have gathered here today to witness the joining of Edward Anthony Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan in the realm of holy matrimony. Who gives this woman to be wed?"

Charlie cleared his throat and spoke, looking proud and like the loving father he was.

"Her mother and I do. I've, um, got to say something, if you'll allow me, Pastor."

Pastor Webber nodded, and Charlie looked to me.

_Oh shit. He knows we've been having sex. Fucking hell. He's going to call me out in front of God and everyone. Is it too late to get one of Bella's Xanax?_

"Edward, this part wasn't planned, but I need for you to take good care of our girl. She's a strong woman, and important to her mom and me. I know you love her as much as we do, and we, um, love you too, Son. That's all I have to say."

I nodded and held out my hand to take Bella's from his grasp.

"I promise you that I will, Charlie. Thank you."

He nodded back and placed Bella's hand in mine.

The rest of the ceremony was a blur of songs, Pastor Webber's words, and as we repeated our traditional wedding vows, all I wanted to do was to pull Bella into my arms and kiss my wife. As we exchanged rings, my complete focus was on the angelic woman to my right, and how her eyes and mine filled with unshed tears of happiness when we both said our "I Do's". All I could think was how lucky of a man I was, and how badly I needed to kiss the hell my wife. Current company be damned.

"By the power vested in me by God and the state of Washington, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride, Edward, before you have a panic attack."

_Fucking finally!_

I held her face in my hands as if she were made of the finest glass, and leaned in to within inches of her face, bright and glowing in anticipation.

"I love you, Isabella Marie Cullen," I whispered reverently.

Bella smiled and whispered back. "I love you too, Edward Anthony Cullen. Now kiss me already, before I combust!"

_No problem, baby. I'm right there with you. _

Kissing Bella should be illegal, or marked as a highly addictive drug. When our lips met, I could barely suppress the groan and the tightness in my groin. God, this woman was perfectly made, just for me. When we ended our barely PG-rated kiss, making Emma giggle and Charlie roll his eyes, I took a second to drink in the reality of what had just happened. Bella and I were married, and I would never take this precious moment, or this precious woman for granted. Bella had not only let down the walls holding her back in her life, she'd torn mine down as well.

"It is my pleasure to present to you, Dr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen."

As the processional music began, so did the rest of our lives. Never let anyone tell you happily ever after's don't exist, no matter what obstacles life throws at you. Our love will only manifest itself from here.

The End.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**A/N: Well folks, it was a pleasure to** **finally get the chance to go back into my first, and most special story and write the happily ever after I'd imagined for Edward and Bella. Many thanks to darcysmom and kare831 for sticking by my side through thick and thin to make my stories look and read so much better, and to cilie80 for pre-reading the rough draft to make sure it flows. These three ladies are more special to me than they will ever know. Lastly, I want to give a heartfelt thanks to all my readers. You guys rock my world. I never imagined a story about psoriasis would ever surpass 1,000 reviews, and as many follows and favorites as LDTW has gathered since it was first posted several years ago. The ride has been amazing, and so fulfilling. I love to write, and you guys made me feel loved in return. Please, let me hear from you in a review one last time, okay? This will put this story to rest, but I do have Two Worlds Collide almost completed, as well as an entry in the Twi Fic Doctorward contest. Voting ends on it 6/20. Love to you all, Teresa**


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